


I'd choose you

by AudreyHorneFeelsDreamy



Series: Nate and Aud [1]
Category: Indy fiction
Genre: Angst, College, Consensual Underage Sex, Drug Use, Evan Peters - Freeform, F/M, James Mcavoy - Freeform, Kristen Stewart - Freeform, Original Character(s), Recreational Drug Use, Runaway, Underage Sex, heavy drug use, highschool, mention of childhood abuse, mention of childhood truma, non con
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-21
Updated: 2017-04-07
Packaged: 2018-10-08 21:38:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 17
Words: 94,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10396713
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AudreyHorneFeelsDreamy/pseuds/AudreyHorneFeelsDreamy
Summary: Nathaniel Brookes seemingly has it all.Wealth, influence, more friends than he can count and a love of partying as hard as he can with his best friend Drake.Audrey Irvine couldn't be further removed from the kind of girl he usually go's for, but he's intrigued enough to try and get to know her, despite her best efforts, and their chance meeting under the bleachers leads them on a lifetime of love and hate.





	1. Loser piss baby stoner

**Author's Note:**

> This piece of work is a finished RP that myself and @angellofsmalldeath worked on over on tumblr over the course of nearly two years.  
> As such, it's in its raw form, but I wanted to put it somewhere in a readable format for anyone who was interested.  
> Not associated with any fandom, although the characters of Nathaniel (Nate) and Audrey were conceived through fumbling baby steps at RP that were based in the Supernatural/Twin peaks fandom (and maybe I'll put that one up one day as well)  
> Anyway, I'll be working on getting chapters up regularly as I sift through them, between work and writing our new Walking dead inspired RP (with a lot of the same characters) So remember to leave comments if you want more :)
> 
> A/N:  
> If you imagine this in terms of a movie, Audrey is played by Kristen Stewart, Nate by Evan Peters, Drake by James McAvoy.

“Hey..” Nate smacked his friend on the chest, his gaze fixed on the girl laying on a bench, snapping large pink bubble after bubble as she flicked through a magazine. “Who’s that?”  
His friend, Drake, looked and snorted a little. “Dude..no.”  
“Why not?” He frowned, shooting a look to Drake then shifted his gaze back to the girl, lifting the cigarette back to his lips and pulled off it. “You don’t think she’s hot?”  
“Not the point. Just saying, doesn’t seem your type mate, not one bit..didn’t think you were into the Goth chicks.”  
“Don’t think She’s a fucking Goth..mate.” Nathaniel snapped. “Just cuz her skirts too short and her tights are black doesn’t mean She’s a fucking goth…”  
“Either way..doesnt look like you’ve got a chance in hell..cmon, were already late for biology..” Drake smirked, smacking Nate on the shoulder then chuckled. “Unless you’d rather study her anatomy.”  
“Fuck Yeah I would..Damn.” Nate laughed then groaned when he was drug away, taking a last drag off his smoke and stomped it out quick. “You’re a fucking cock block..” he muttered, taking one last, long look back at the girl, smiling when she looked up and gave him a disgusted look.  
He might not have a chance in hell, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t gonna try.  
\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Audrey was in no mood to be friendly.  
Certainly not to some kid who looked like his Mom still cut his hair.  
Her first week in this piece of crap school had turned her resting mood from generally indifferent to actively hostile, and when he smiled across at her, she felt her lip curl up in a sneer.  
Different school, same assholes.  
She wondered how long it would take before someone pushed her too far and she got expelled from this one.  
The bell rang for class, but she didn’t move, instead, waiting for everyone else to leave, she tossing down the magazine, grabbed her bag and wandered back towards the sports field, intent on sitting under the bleachers for the rest of the day, smoking and staying out the way.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
“You’re in my spot.”  
He’d slipped out early, not really into looking inside some nasty ass earthworm to “see all its little muscle rings” or whatever the fuck he was supposed to look at. Bird food more like it, that ain’t science.  
He’d gone to his usual, a spot under the bleachers no one really knew about ‘cept him and Drake, a few others, that was it. But now, he was looking at this girl as he leaned against the cement supports, on foot kicked back against it one hand in the front pocket of her hoodie and the other gripped to a cigarette.  
She was cuter up close, not like he was expecting her to be a bombshell, though she did have a killer ass.  
When she looked to him he smiled, big and dopey, his eyes flashing over her once more then lifted his own smoke to his lips.  
“Just sayin’.”  
Audrey looked up at him and sighed, rolling her eyes a little.  
“Ok….. Here’s how it goes. Unless I see a sign around here saying, Loser, piss baby, stoners only, I’m gonna assume I’m fine standing here, and you can probably find another spot to stand in.”  
She sounded mean, even to herself, but she was 100% done with today, and didn’t want to get into an argument with someone over a dumb place to stand for a fucking smoke.  
It wasn’t his fault, she didn’t even know him, but right now, it felt like everyone was the enemy.  
A smirk tugged at the corner of Nathaniel’s lips when she told him off, assuming things about him that really, weren’t all that true.  
“Oo-kay! Well, two out of three ‘aint bad.” He chuckled, reaching in his pocket and drawing out his pipe, packing it a little better then turning to the side so the slight breeze that pushed through under this spot wouldn’t blow his light out as he took a hit.  
Stashing it away, he looked back to her, smiling as he blew smoke off to the side.  
“Stoner..yes, loser?..probably..but I ‘aint no fucking piss baby so get off your rag and take a fucking joke..”  
He laughed then, loving the look she gave him. It was like someone had taken her stare, froze it, then poured gasoline over it and lit it on fire. If she thought she was going to push him away, she was sadly mistaken.  
“You want me to make a sign I will..”  
She looked away, taking a long drag on her cigarette, tilting her head back a little on the exhale.  
Usually, being a bitch worked just fine, but if it didn’t, ignoring whoever was bugging her worked in the end, but this one just didn’t seem to get the hint.  
Fine.  
He wanted a waiting game over this stupid smoking place, she’d give it to him, make him wait till she was good and ready to leave.  
Ten minutes turned into twenty, and he still stood there, smoking, watching her a little, and she could feel her frown deepen until finally, she sighed, dropping the butt and grinding it under her heel before picking up her bag.  
“Fine… take it… it’s all yours.” She grumbled, going to leave.  
“Whoa Whoa!” Nathaniel chuckled, pushing off the wall and moved towards her, grabbing the strap of her back so she had to turn back around to face him. “I was just kidding with you about the damn spot..whats wrong with you?”  
She’d been giving him a look ever since he opened his mouth and quite honestly he didn’t think that his one little remark earned him any of that. She didn’t like him tat much she could have just fucking left.  
“Someone kick your puppy or something? I’m just trying to be friendly..I know you’re new here and no ones really talked to you but shit….you keep looking at people like you do and no one will.”  
He wasn't easily intimidated by people, so she didn’t scare him one bit. She could hit him and he’d probably just laugh and still try and talk to her.  
“Look..” He Sighed, looking down as she yanked her bag from his hand and glared at him. “I was kidding, ok? smoke wherever you want, but I’m still gonna be here, every day, morning, noon…probably during biology again tomorrow..because lets be honest, cutting shit open? I’ll take the F.” He made a face.  
“Now…I’m gonna take another hit, then I’m going to go make a bowl out of clay.” He stood up straight, looking her in the eye. “Stay, smoke, be pissed at the world but I’m tellin’ ya sweetheart…not gonna change a god damned thing.”  
He stared at her as he pulled out his pipe again and flicked the lighter in front and pulled back with a soft sigh, tipping his head back and letting the smoke dissipate into the bleachers.  
He grabbed up his own bag then, stashing his pipe in his pocket and headed past her, shooting her one last smiled. “See ya round.”  
“You’re right…” She called as he walked past her. “… People here are assholes though…”  
Audrey saw him raise an eyebrow, and sighed. “…. Most people are assholes.”  
Everything in her screamed to stop talking to him.  
She didn’t need to talk to anyone, but maybe it was because he’d hung around, tried to be friendly without being a creep, or grossly sweet.  
But still  
She had form.  
This was her fifth school in two years, why would this one work out?  
No point making friends, even casual ones.  
“You’re rude though.” She shot at him, looking away with a half smile.  
“You didn’t even offer me a toke…. Bad smoking etiquette loser…”  
Nathaniel turned on his heels when she talked to him again, cocking an eyebrow and smirking.  
Yeah, people here were assholes, him included. But she knew that, otherwise she wouldn’t be such a bitch, maybe, who knew. “  
“Didn’t I?” He frowned, looking down to his pocket and patting it lovingly. “Rude of me indeeeed.” He chuckled, looking back up at her with a cute smile. “I’ll let you..if you take back that piss baby comment..words hurt you know..” He half smiled, blinking a couple times, batting his eyelashes.  
While he waited for an answer he pulled it out, twirled the small glass tube between his fingers, glancing at her a few times.  
Didn’t matter if she apologized or not really, he didn’t care, been called worse, was just the principle of it all.  
She didn’t smile directly at him.  
He hadn’t earn’t that. Not yet.  
“Well…. I apologize for calling you a piss baby without having enough evidence to back it up…. Although, I fully reserve the right to reinstate the name, should you provide me with said evidence…. That do?”  
Now she did smile, but only to herself, leaning back against the post and waiting to see what he’d do.  
He snorted, bursting into a short fit of giggles.  
“What are you? A judge? Who talks like that!” He laughed again, bending over and grabbing his knees as he calmed down. “Ok, ok..you can have some..for the laugh, because I don’t feel like that was a sincere apology.” He chuckled, standing up straight and handing it and his lighter over, smiling at her when he thought he caught just the glimpse of a smile on her lips.  
“I assume you know how to use one of these things?” He raised an eyebrow, chuckling when she wiped the mouthpiece off. “I don’t have cooties you know..”  
Audrey rolled her eyes, pulling a lighter out of her pocket.  
“Why don’t you just roll a joint like a normal person.” She grumbled, shaking her head a little. “Makes it look like you’re smoking crack…”  
Holding the flame to it, she took a couple of long hits, exhaling then sucking half of it back in before blowing it out properly, then handed it back with a chuckle.  
“Now you’re being polite.”  
Swinging her bag back over her shoulder, she went to walk away again, turning on her heel just before she reached the edge of the bleachers.  
“I didn’t catch your name.” She called back to him.  
He watched her with interest, amused when she used her own light instead of his.  
When she spoke he shifted his eyes up from her lips wrapped around the pipe to her eyes, chuckling a little then taking it back.  
“Well, because I'm a fucking loser, remember? A stoner fucking loser.” He offered a smiled, stuffing it deep in his pocket. “Maybe I'm a crack head, you never know.” He looked down when she went to go, figuring he was late for the only class he actually liked.  
Leaning back on the wall he looked over.  
“Just call me Nate.”  
“You don’t look like a crack head.”  
She tilted her own, lifting her gaze to meet his, and then she smiled.  
He thought he was hot shit, and she just bet he had all the little bad girl cheerleaders swarming round him, he looked like the kind of guy who never had to work for anything.  
“Nate…. ok… See ya round Nate.” She said, turning away again, heading back towards the main building before the next bell went.  
He watched her go and sighed, sticking his hands deep in his pockets as he looked up into the bleachers, thoughtful as the sun peeked through them.  
She had a hard shell and an even harder wall to crack open. he wide have to work hard with her to even get HER name.  
He should have asked, why didn’t he?  
He frowned, taking a deep breath to clear the fog in his head a little but only ended up with more.  
He went to class, sat there and picked around with his clay, shaping it into a crude bowl that eventually flopped over and he’d smashed back into a ball.  
He wasn’t good at it, but he loved the feel of the clay between his fingers, the way it squished when it got really wet…it kept his hands and head busy which rest was a good thing.  
He got to wondering if she’d be there again tomorrow, standing right in his spot just to spite him and if he was honest, he couldn’t wait.

\------------------------------------  
She hadn’t given him much thought the next day, but when classes began again after lunch, she found herself wandering over to the bleachers, moving back to the spot she’d stood in before, and crouching down on her haunches as she rooted through her bag.  
She had a bloody nose.  
Not that it was the first bloody nose she’d ever been given, and she was pretty sure she’d given at least one back…. and possibly a chipped tooth.  
She smiled at that, the thought of that stupid little bitch having to get a cap on her tooth, pleased her no end, and she was so lost in her thoughts, that she only looked up when Nate stood between her and the sun, putting her in shadow  
“Hey… Nate….” She squinted up at him, running her sleeve across her upper lip. “Don’t happen to have a wet nap on you do you?”  
When he’d gotten to his spot and saw her crouched down he thought a clever thing to say, something about how he should have gotten that sign put up but when he saw her look up with blood running down her mouth he frowned.  
“Uh, no..got an extra shirt you can use though.” He smiled a little setting his pack down I and crouching by her, pulling the tshirt out and handing it to her. “I should really see the other guy huh?” He chuckled, only dropping his,smile,when he didn’t get much of a response.  
“You alright?” He asked sincerely as he watched her dab at her face.  
She looked like a fighter, he liked that, a girl who didn’t take shit from anyone, it as a,wonder she hadn’t thrown a punch at him yesterday.  
She took the shirt from him, wiping at her mouth and chin, and when he asked about the other guy, she held up her right hand, curling it into a fist to show him her skinned knuckles.  
“Got her in the mouth, pretty sure at least one of her teeth came off worse.” She gave him a sly grin, then turned to one side, spitting blood into the dirt as her nose stopped bleeding.  
“I’m fine. I’m used to it.”  
He laughed, sliding down the wall next to her and dug out his pack of cigarettes, tapping one out and lighting it.  
“Well, I’m sure she deserved it yeah? Chicks around here…they like to think that their shit don’t stink but it’s all a load.” He sighed on the exhale, rolling his head to the side to watch as she still dabbed.  
“Never caught your name yesterday…some big secret or what.” He asked, pressing the smoke between his lips then offered it to her, half smiling, figuring he he didn’t share she’d say something. Not that he as opposed to sharing, it was just a cig.  
“Well… she aint queen shit of turd mountain now.” She laughed softly, feeling a bit crappy now the initial rush had worn off.  
She took the cigarette he offered from his fingers, and took a drag, raising her eyebrows in thanks as she handed it back.  
“It’s Audrey….” She looked across at him. “My name…. It’s no secret..”  
“Keep it.” He smiled, already lighting up a new one for himself and taking a heavy pull off it and closing his eyes.  
“Audrey..cool.” He smiled, staying the way he was, his arms resting on his knees, smoke held between two fingers as it slowly burned. “Where you from audrey? Coming in the middle of the year..either you moved, or you got kicked out of your last school…not gonna make any assumptions.”  
He opened his eyes then and looked to her again. “So which is it.”  
“You know which.” She snorted, sticking out her tongue to lick the sleeve of the shirt, then wiped a little harder under her nose with it, trying to get rid of the stale metallic scent of blood there.  
“… and they don’t kick you out anymore… they “exclude” you… sounds more passive don’t you think? More of a sense of turning your back on someone rather than actively chasing them out.  
She went to hand the shirt back to him, then hesitated. “I can probably get this washed for you..” She shrugged.  
“Nah, it’s cool…keep it.” Nate laughed, wrinkling his nose a little then took a drag. “Was just so I could change this weekend..not planning on going home after school today.” He shrugged, tipping his head back and concentrating hard on making a smoke ring and sighing when all he managed was a little puff.  
He’d been kicked out of a school before, mostly because he didn’t do the work assigned, and for getting caught with pot. Nothing to serious, he didn’t think at least. His parents on the other hand, yeah they weren’t to pleased.  
He’d been here a couple years now and on the promise that he’d keep his grades above a D they’d give him money, let him do whatever. He thought it wasnt too bad a deal.  
Not that he was stupid by any means, if he tried, he could pass probably with B’s in every class, he was just lazy and found it pointless.  
“Where were ya at before comin’ here?” He asked after a long thought process and almost a full cigarette.  
“Ithaca…. You know, they got that big park there with Lucifer falls? Just outside there.”  
She stuffed the shirt in her bag, running her wrist under her nose as she looked away, taking another drag.  
“So… where you going if you’re not going home?” She asked casually, then looked down her shoulder at him with a sly smile. “You got like a weekend church camping trip or something?”  
Nate laughed at that, highly amused that she’d even suggest that option.  
“Yeah, prayer group.” He played along, giving her a smirk. “Me and a group of guys sit around in a circle and “Pray” to the good lord the bong water doesn’t go rank too fast.” He used air quotes, chuckling a little as he finished off his smoke and smashed it into the cement between his feet.  
“Nah, just going to a friends, gonna drink a bit, probably hand out in the pool or whatever while his parent are out of town.” He shrugged, licking out over his bottom lip and leaning back again. “You should come if you don’t have any plans..”  
“I dunno… I’m not gonna know anyone….. “  
She really didn’t want to end up miles away from anywhere at some shitty party where she knew only one person, and she didn’t even know him. He might abandon her five minutes after they got there.  
The idea of doing something was appealing though.  
He shrugged, looking back to his feet, tapping his toes a little, fidgeting with the large hole in the the knee of his pants before grabbing his bag and taking out his phone, swiping it open and squinting to read a message he had.  
“You got a phone?” He asked her, not looking over instead tapping a response. “I’ll give you my number if you change your mind.”  
This time he did look over, staring at her, raising an eyebrow. “If you want..I’m not asking for yours..so if you wanna just completely blow me off i wont even be able to contact you. Win-lose situation, you win cuz you got my number, and I lose cuz i know you got it and I don’t know if you’re interested or not..which is torture..”  
“Uh… of course I have a phone…” She shook her head, pulling it from her back pocket and putting his number in, not offering hers.  
She looked across at him for a moment, softening her eyes a little.  
“Why you wanna know if I’m interested?” She asked. “You don’t have some other girl lined up so you wanna take an anti social bitch instead?”  
She’d intended it to be lighthearted, but it sounded more serious than she intended, like she just couldn’t turn off the attitude, wore it like amour.  
Nate raised an eyebrow and laughed, shaking his head a little before resting it back. “Nah, no other girl, just thought you’d like to get out..meet some people.” He looked to her again and smiled softly.  
“Unless me and my stoner friends are too loser-ish for you..you know, we have a good time. Better than getting stupid drunk and driving around town..we stay put, eat, laugh..you look like you could stand to laugh..”  
She hadn;t meant to sound so cutting before, and he was right, given the choice, she’d much rather hang out with a group of stoners than go to some beer and shot fulled frat party somewhere.  
She looked away from him a little, fiddling with the cigarette between her fingers, rolling it back and forth between finger and thumb.  
“You got a car?” She asked at last. “Only… I can drive if you don’t have a car..”  
“Yeah, I got a car.” He nodded, smiling to himself. “So..this you saying you’ll come?”  
He looked at her hopefully. He genuinely like her, thought she was in nee of a friend and yea, he’d be dumb if he didn’t think she was 10/10 would bang.  
He chuckled to himself and tapped out another smoke and his pipe, stuffed with a fresh pinch, taking a hit off that first before lighting the smoke. “Want?” He offered her, blowing is smoke off to the side, smirking. “No crack…I solemnly swear.”  
She huffed a soft laugh, then glanced over at him, taking the pipe from his fingers.  
“Ok. She said. “I’ll come…. Not like I had plans or anything.”  
She really couldn’t just say anything nicely, but she hadn’t driven him away yet, although, she wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.  
He smiled. Hard to hide that he was genuinely excited she was going to be there. “Awesome. Leaving for there right after last class..if you wanna go then or I could come pick you up or whatever…” He shrugged, not wanting to sound too eager.  
“I’m on snack run first, so i gotta hit the grocery before going over but..I don’t know..whatever you want…” He chuckled, taking the pipe back from her when she was finished with it and taking one more hit before putting it away.  
She looked down at herself with a frown.  
“I should go home and change, I got blood on my shirt..” She glanced back up at him again, and there was a tiny gleam in her eye. “Not sure if it’s mine or hers.”  
Moving to stand up, she stretched a little raising her arms, her shirts skirting just below her ribs as she did, showing her stomach.  
“What store you going to. I’ll just meet you there.” She said, letting her hands fall back to her side as she rubbed at her face, a little sleepy from the weed.  
He stood with her supposing it was about time for him to get on as well.  
He couldn’t help but look as he shirt rode up, how could he not? She was a babe and lets face it, he was weak.  
“Probably just the one on 12th..Economart.” He shrugged, looking back up as she dropped her hands. All they needed was some chip, salsa..pop to mix with the booze that would undoubtedly be there. “It’ll be a quick in and out, I’ll be there at like four? I’ll buy ya any goodies you like.” He grinned.  
She smiled back, shaking her head a little.  
Dude… I can buy some snacks.” She chuckled. Then moved away.  
“I guess I’ll see you outside the store . then.  
“Guess you will.” He chuckled, giving her a small salute when she left then just stood there while he finished his smoke, firing off a quick text to Drake.  
>So..dnt kil me but…..i invitd that girl  
>shes cool so yea dnt kill me  
You’re a fucking dog.  
She’s not going to fuck you..you know that.  
We’re all pitching in for pizza. She’d better buy in.  
He smiled and laughed at the response, shaking his head.  
>y do u alwys thnk im out 2 just fuck?  
>shes cool k?  
>nd im sure shell pitch in 4 pizza  
>c u there. try not 2 b a dick 2 her


	2. Rainbow Road

Nate was parked outside, watching for her. It was dumb to be anxious, he knew that, though it probably wasn't completely due to the fact that she was going fucking shopping with him…but shit his leg was bouncing like crazy and he chewed his damn nails like they were made of chocolate.   
\---------------------------------------------------  
She hadn’t dressed up, just showered and put on fresh jeans and a shirt, and now she stood outside the store, doing that awkward thing where you don’t know if you should wait. Or go in to see if the person you’re waiting for is there.

Nate finally got out of the car, walking slowly until he looked up and saw her. He sped up and smiled. “Hey. Got changed I see? No more blood.”   
that was fucking brilliant Nate.  
“Shall we? I’ve got hungry stoners relying on my to feed them.” He chuckled, running a hand through his hair then moving into the store, grabbing a car because lets face it. “A few things” was more like a hundred bucks worth of stuff.  
She gave him a sardonic half smile when he mentioned her clothes, then followed him inside, frowning as he filled the cart.

“Uh… How many people are going to be there?”  
It looked like he was buying for a kids party, the higher the fat and sugar content, the more chance it had of going g in the cart  
“Not sure.”He said honestly, grabbing at a pack of Oreos and tossing them in the cart, didn’t hurt to grab more than enough just in case more people did come. “Usually its Me, Drake, a few guys he knows pretty well, a couple of my good friends…then whoever they bring along.”  
He smiled at her as she followed him around with her hand in her pockets just looking around.  
“Mostly its just going to be friends of friends, but its all good..we all get along and as long as you don’t punch anyone..you’ll fit right in.” He grinned at her, hoping she’d take the joke.   
Audrey lifted the corner of her mouth so he’d see she got it, then trailed along behind him, occasionally tossing something in the cart, mostly to see if he’d react or say something, but he didn’t, only carried on chatting away to her about nothing, sometimes turning his head a little to grin at her.

Ok.  
He was cute.  
She’d give him that, though why he was set on having her tag along, she didn’t know. She was constantly being asked to smile.  
You’re so pretty when you smile Audrey!  
The mother of the last family she’d lived with used to say, until she found herself scowling even more, just to be awkward.   
If anyone was watching them, they’d be reminded of a sullen cat following an over-excited puppy, trying to look like she wasn’t really with it, just… happened to be there.   
But she kind of did want to be there.

“So… Either you got one hell of a wad of cash in your pocket, or I should take the keys and start the car for when you run out with security on your tail.” She said, glancing over at him as they walked down the chip aisle.  
Nate stopped then and there, right in the middle of the aisle giving Audrey no choice but to run right into his back. As she was about to bitch him out he turned, the most serious face he could pull; eyes wide mouth set he looked at her, slowly reaching in his pocket. “I knew I brought you along for something..”   
image  
“Here’s my keys….blue Pontiac….aisle C…..” He dropped his voice, moving closer to her as he put them in her hand, whispering in her ear now. “Meet me in the back in twenty minutes with the trunk open and ready to drive..”   
He pulled back, trying to keep serious but failing miserably when he saw the look in her eye that told him she didn’t know if he was kidding or not.   
“Relax!” He laughed, wrinkling is nose then set to the chips. “My dad’s CEO of some big long important named.thing..and they pretty much pay me to stay in school and out of trouble. He’s too high profile to have me “sullying his good name.” Whatever..” He shrugged, looking at her briefly then moving on. 

He’d nearly got her.  
He’d looked so serious and the fact that she probably would have gone along with it, made her blush when he started to laugh.  
“Jerk.” She mumbled, grabbing the nearest bag of chips and slinging it in the cart.  
She’d been right then.  
It stood to reason that most stoners turned out to be rich, or at least comfortable, the rest of the world generally only dabbled unless they had an actual problem.  
She wondered how many hangers on he had. Everyone wanted to hang with the rich kids, like some of that money and success rubbed off on them, that they could become rich by association.  
Not that it interested her. She’d met enough monied people to know that generally she didn’t like them. Better off poor than a pretentious asshole.

Nate couldn’t ignore the flushed way she looked away from him, found it pleasing that there WAS more to her than constant brooding and resentment.  
He didn’t like talking about his family, didn’t think they were important enough to mention in casual conversation. They had money, Yeah, but he didn’t care about money really. Mostly all they gave him went in the bank. The rest went on weed and food.  
She didn’t act like she cared he had money, in fact the sneer she now had made him know JUST what she was thinking of him.  
“Think we got everything…time to head out.’

Audrey helped him load up the car with bags of snack food, shaking her head a little at how much he’d bought, then slid into the passenger seat, buckling up as he drove out the parking lot.  
“So… where is this get-together, party thing?” She asked, watching as the suburbs started to give way to more open space as he swung up the hill.  
She didn’t know the area at all, and as they drove, she memorized as much of the route as she could, just in case.  
Being abandoned at parties was never fun at the best of times, even less so if you didn’t know where you were.  
“Buddy’s house, not too far from town if your looking to bail.” He glanced over at her with a small smile, noting how she looked around at everything. “His parents are loaded and always away so..” He shrugged, looking back to the road as he sped up a bit, ignoring the speed limit.

She looked noncommittal, only coming along because she really DIDNT have anything better to do which was probably true, girl didn’t seem like the making friends type. No matter to him.  
They fell silent, some pop crap playing on the radio, the roar of the pavement under the tires.  
He turned up on a gravel road, slowing a bit while they weaved through the hills and turns eventually coming up a large drive leading to the house.  
It wasn’t mansion worthy, but it wasn’t small by any means. Large open patio to the side leading to the pool area. Drake was well off, made it known to an extent but wasn’t a pretentious asshole like most of the people his parents had tried to introduce him to.  
He’d rather slum then sit in a huge house going mad. Only so many video games one could play in a day.  
He parked right along the front in a roundabout sound of area then got out, popping his trunk.  
“Cmon, grab a bag then we’ll go make him drag the rest in.” He grinned when he came to her door.

Trying not to gawk wasn’t going to be easy but she was fucked if she was going to go all googly eyed about being in possibly, the biggest house she’d ever seen.  
She followed Nate up the wide steps to the front door, and he walked straight in, calling for his friend.  
“Heeeey! Snacks! You’re a fucking life saver.” Drake laughed, moving through and pulling him into a one-armed hug, a joint hanging out the corner of his mouth.  
She noticed the way he glanced her over, then looked to Nate, raising an eyebrow, but he didn’t say anything, only smiled and shrugged.  
“Drake.” He grinned, leaning closer to her and sticking out his hand.  
“Audrey.”   
She ignored his hand, stuffing her free one in her pocket.  
“Ok…. well… come meet everyone..”

Nate caught the look and shook his head, silently telling drake to drop it.  
“Who’s all here?” He asked as they hit the kitchen and set the bags on the large island in the middle. “Tom gonna make it this time?”  
“He said so.” Drake shrugged one shoulder, stealing glances at Audrey ever now and then, wondering just what Nate was thinking. “But I bet he’s gonna bail again…his lady friend keeps his leash short and tight.”  
“He fucking likes it..” Nate chuckled and nodded back out. “More in the car, be a dear?” He batted his eyelashes and plucked to joint from drakes lips, grinning around it.  
“Jesus fucking christ I need some minions…” Drake muttered, then called through to another room, grabbing a couple of other guys to go help him unload the car.

Audrey watched him leave, a line forming between her eyes as she frowned, the scrutiny shed been getting from him making her paranoid.  
She glanced over at Nate, and suddenly realized, she had no idea who he was or where she was and for all she knew, Nate had been responsible for bringing not only the snacks, but the entertainment, and the thought made her go cold.  
Crossing her arms over her chest, she quickly let her gaze flit around the room, eyeing up every door and marking where it might lead to, just in case.

Nathaniel leaned back on the island as he took a hit, letting it roll around on his tongue before sucking it back.  
“Want?…not spiked..” He smiled, handing it across to Audrey. “Relax…cmon, were not bad people..promise.”  
She looked permanently displeased, with everything, and even the brief smile he’d gotten in the store was probably the most she’d expressed in ever…  
“You don’t trust me?” He half smiled, insisting she take the joint. “I even left my pipe in the car..”  
She hesitated a second before taking it off him, inhaling deeply before exhaling to the side.  
“I don’t know you.” She said in answer, and she wondered what it was like to have the luxury of trust, to presume nothing bad could happen to you.

Nate nodded, swallowing thickly and playing with his nails. He could get behind that. He kept to himself or his little group of friends.  
It wasn’t that he didn’t trust anyone, was just that he never thought to care not to. If he got fucked over…Oh well.  
“Well..stay, hang out for a bit and if you totally hate it..I’ll take you back to your car and you never have to worry about me bugging you again..deal?” He outstretched his hand and offered her a genuine smile.  
He acted cool about it, but really he was actually hoping she’d like him..hanging out, whatever. But if she decided to bail…he couldn’t stop her.

Audrey fiddled the joint between her fingers, a nervous habit she just couldn’t seem to drop, then reached out to take his hand, shaking it.  
“Ok….” She smiled back, despite herself, letting go of his hand as Drake came back in, the bags in his arms.  
“We’re kinda camped out in the games room…. got some Mario kart going…. plenty to smoke… snacks…. unless you two were planning on standing in the kitchen all night?” 

Nate smiled, pushing off the counter with an excited nod. “No one better be breaking my fucking record I swear…”  
He looked back to Audrey and smile. “I did rainbow bridge in less that 2 minutes.” He put his hands on his hips. Insanely proud of that feat. “Think you can do better?”  
She shrugged a little awkwardly.  
“I dunno… I never played it…”  
Drake was already heading back into the games room.  
How big did a house get to be to have a room devoted to doing nothing?  
"Oh…you gotta play!” He grinned, grabbing her by the hand and pulling her along, feeling like she needed a little shove to get in the groove of this.

When they got downstairs and into the room it opened into a huge room, huge tv on the wall hooked up to ever game station there was.  
He went down, dropping her hand and moved to greet the few people down there, laughing and hugging one guy.  
“Aud come down!” He chuckled, looking up at her.

He took her by surprise when he grabbed her hand, and she nearly wrenched it away, but then he was pulling her along so gleefully, that she couldn’t help but follow standing at the top of the sunken room while he greeted his friends.  
She had to admit they didn’t look like a bunch of hangers on, despite the surroundings and goodies, although she noted she was the only girl even if the rest of them only gave her friendly smiles and waves before turning back to their game.  
The stub of the joint she still held in her fingers, burned her, and she hurriedly pinched it out, just as Nate called her down, compelling her to come down with them.

“Set up another controller.” He called across, parking his ass on the low couch that circled around everything down in a sunken area of the basement.  
Patting the spot next to him as Audrey came over he reached across and caught the controller in one hand, almost dropping it but saved it. It of course had the wheel attachment to get the full effect.  
“I’ll teach Ya.”  
She sat next to him, glancing quickly at the others.  
One hint of a smirk and she was walking out, but they all seemed to be too laid back and into their own thing to really pay much attention to them, and as Nate explained how to play, she leaned in a little, looking down at the controller to see properly. 

He showed her how to turn it in front of her, laughing when she crashed the second the race started. “Ok Ok..watch me.” He took it and sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees, joint dangling from his lips.  
His eyes were peeled to the big screen, eyes darting around it as he focused, zipping past the others.  
“Oh come on!” One of the other called from the other side of the couch, groaning and flopping to the floor when Nate won by a second. “I thought we had a chance….I thought we could beat him!…”  
Nate just chuckled, handing it back to her with a smirk. “Your turn.”  
This time, she managed a circuit before wiping out, and when Nate went to take the controller, show her where she was going wrong, she slapped at his hand.   
“I got this.” She said, frowning at the screen, determined to get the hang of it.   
After a few runs, Audrey seemed more confident and Nate thought he even saw a slight upturn of her lips as she played. 

It wasn't long before someone started complaining about being hungry, and another breaking into the bar and started to mix up a few drinks for those who wanted.   
Drake ha slipped out to order a bunch of pizza, bread sticks, hot wings, pretty much everything, snagging a glass on his way up the stairs and away from the noise.   
Someone was switching the disks, putting in another game Nate wasnt interested in so he just sat back comfortably, drawing a leg up and resting an arm on it.   
image  
Looking at Audrey he smiled. “So..you totally hate us? Too loser-ish for you?”  
She put down the controller, twisting a little to face him.   
Despite it all, she wasn’t having a bad time. Everyone was laid back and happy, there was no drama or pretense, and the others seemed to accept she didn’t want to be cohered into inclusion, so they just let her be.  
“Well… so far… Not too Loser ish…. No piss babies, and I haven’t felt the need to hit anyone yet.. so…“  
She smiled, then realized she was holding his gaze, and broke it, looking back towards the screen.

He threw his head back, laughing loudly. “Yeah?” He looked back to her the off to the side where his name was called from and a controller was wiggled at him.   
“COD man, you in?”   
“Nah, next time.” He shook his head then, smiling all the while. “Yeah, no hitting. Only one time we had to get a little rough was when this jackass..I don’t even remember his name..Jeff? Fuck knows..but he came in just fucking trashed right? Pumped up on coke and thought someone said something or whatever and he just…” He stopped, making fighting motions.   
“Hey! what was that guys name who came all fucked up?” He kicked someone sitting on the floor.   
Without looking up the guy shrugged, not taking his eyes off the screen. “Fuck..um, Rich?”   
“Drake!” Nate called out across the room when he re-entered. “That guy! Gave’em a bloody nose and a place to sleep on the lawn..what was his name?”   
“Uh..Travis..I think…who cares?”   
She actually smiled a little at the thought of half a dozen stoners rousing themselves enough to beat the crap out of a dick was actually pretty amusing.   
A guy sat to the left of her passed her a joint, and she even managed to smile her thanks at him, taking a long hit, holding it as long as she could, then blowing it in a plum above her head, puffing her mouth to make a couple of rings at the end, then taking a smaller hit before passing it to Nate.  
“Ah! No way! ok ok..” Nate grinned, watching her effortlessly blow the rings and moved up on the couch, criss-crossing his legs and facing her. “Fucking showing off now.” He grinned and took the joint. “My turn..”   
He managed a few, laughing and coughing as he choked on the smoke. “Fuck..” He laughed, handing it back to her.   
“So much easier with a bong..you can get a bigger pull, hold it longer..”   
“Never used one…. “ She shrugged, mirroring him and turning to face him with her own legs crossed as she took a long pull. “I like being buzzed… I don’t like getting stoned…. there’s a difference.” She smiled, finding it hard not to when every time she looked over at him he was grinning or laughing.  
Nate shrugged, taking the joint back when she passed it then looked around, seeing they were mostly alone now. “Yeah..guess I should stay a little coherent in case you wanna go.” 

He didn’t want her to leave, he liked her, and not just for the obvious reasons. He was genuinely interested in her, which was a rare occurrence.   
When he heard a bunch of noise coming from upstairs he looked towards it, not realizing he’d been staring at her so intently, he was so deep in thought.   
“Guess pizza’s here..” He smiled back at her, crushing out the joint for now.   
She followed him up to the kitchen, watching as everyone threw in some notes for the pizza and inwardly cringed as she pulled a ten from her back pocket and put it on the pile. Now she was screwed if she had to get a bus or cab back because Nate got too stoned, she’d just have to walk, there was no way she was about to freeload of any of them though.

For the most part they all ate in silence sometimes someone would speak up about something, mostly something game related then they would retreat back down to the basement where they would stay the rest of the night.   
Most of Drakes friends really only came over to play on the tv or drink carelessly. He didn’t really care, they paid for the food they ate, brought their own drugs. No big deal.   
“You gonna open the pool tonight?” Nate asked, gnawing on his crust. “It’s nice out…just saying…”   
Drake shrugged, hopping up to sit on the kitchen counter.  
“Mi casa es su casa…”  
He was silent until he saw Audrey wander back through to the games room, leaning on the door frame as someone started up a new game.

“Ok… seriously…. whats the deal with little miss I suck lemons for a pass time, huh? Is this one of those weird sex things?” Drake frowned.  
“Weird..sex thing?..what are you talking about?” Nate laughed, looking back over his shoulder and sighing. “Just cuz she’s a girl isn’t it..I’ll have you know..my intentions are 85% pure.”   
He grinned and chuckled, catching the look Drake gave him. “C’mon man..don’t look at me like that..” He looked back at Audrey again, smiling as he watched her shift awkwardly on her feet.   
“She’s cute though right?..”  
“Yeah weird sex thing… you always hook up with freaky girls…. its like your type or something.. Some guys like blondes, some guys like big tits you go for unlikable freaks.”  
He was only teasing, well… only half teasing.  
“I guess she’s kind of cute… if you don’t mind about having to sleep with one eye open in case she stabs you.. so yeah.. perfect for you.”  
Drake jumped down and slapped Nate on the back.   
“And you wanna use the pool? Did you tell her there was a pool? Did she bring like, a bathing costume or anything? … is that the other sneaky 15% of your intentions coming out Nate?” He laughed, walking back towards the games room.   
“Hey fuck off!” Nate called after him, frowning when Drake gave her a smile as he moved past then looked back at him.   
He was almost 100% sure he had indeed told her there was a pool, whether or not she actually cared or brought anything to swim he didn’t know. He wasn’t expecting anything from her like he was insinuating. Had he thought about it? Hell yeah, but he wouldn’t press it, she didn’t seem the type to hop in bed with anyone…especially some stoner without a single good quality with money. 

Audrey looked back over her shoulder at Nate, wondering what he’d been talking about with Drake, then offered him a small smile.  
She got the feeling her welcome here was only extended as a courtesy to Nate.  
“They put on Skyrim… I think they’re pretty much entrenched for the night.” She half joked, her fingers fiddling with the edge of her sleeve as she watched him move over to her.  
He looked past her to them all sat in a row on the couch, a few playing the others simply along for the ride.   
“Yeah..you’re probably right.” He nodded, shifting his gaze back to hers with a sigh. What Drake said pissed him off. He was a pig, but not so much that he’ invite her just to get her in bed. He knew from the start that Audrey wasn't that kind of girl..she probably wasn’t even interested in him at all really. 

“You wanna go watch? Or there's another TV in the living area..we could get a pay per view.” He smiled, only being matched with her classic non-committal face.   
He was really just waiting for her to ask him to take her back to her car or home, he’d thought she was having a good time, but who knew.   
His high was pretty much toast now as it were, Drake being a prick about him bringing her. What did he care? He carelessly brought girls here all the time, disappeared for an hour with them..why was this any different. 

“I need a smoke, a real smoke…you wanna join me?” He smiled wider, regaining his composure. “Outside with these though…house rules.” He made a face then turned for the door, nodding for her to follow him out back to the patio area. 

Once out, he lit up, pulling hard and casting his head up to the sky. It really was nice out, would have been a good time sitting around and fucking around in the pool.   
He blew the smoke out looked down, watching as the water wiggled a little with the slight breeze. It had lights in it, making the water shine a cute blue color.   
He offered her one then, blinking his thoughts away.   
Audrey took it from his fingers gently, then sank down to sit cross-legged at the edge of the pool watching the water as it dappled the walls around it, making it seem almost magical.  
Although, she didn’t have a vast experience of private pools, so maybe it was the lamest piece of shit pool there ever was, but she was still impressed.  
When Nate sat down next to her, she turned her head to look down her shoulder at him, smiling a little.  
“Drake doesn’t like me very much huh..” She said simply. Not upset, or put out, just stating a fact. 

Nate took a minute to answer, not wanting to flat out say, yeah.   
“Drakes..difficult to get along with..one minute he’s nice, friendly…the next? He’s a fucking prick bent only on getting his way and if someone else is having a better time than he is….he’ll find any reason to fuck it all up.”   
Nate looked out over the water as he pulled off the smoke, holding it in his lungs until it started to hurt then let it all out in a rush, closing his eyes as his head spun. 

“He’s drunk..so it means he’s going to be an extra large dick, and not the kind that makes a moan either..the gross, clap infested dick that makes you wanna cut it off and light it on fire…”   
She wasn’t about to judge his taste in friends, they looked like they’d known each other a long time. She’d known him two days, almost three.   
“He’s your friend though.” She nodded, looking down at the water before glancing back up at him.  
“Do you wanna swim?” She asked, smiling a little when his eyes widened.

Nate looked to her and smiled, shrugging one shoulder then lifted the smoke to his lips again.  
“Do you? I mean, I can probably find you some shorts and a T-shirt or something so you don’t have to go in your…you know, or whatever…” he laughed and looked back out to the pool.  
-smooth Nate. Smooth-  
It really wasn’t all that big of a deal, and he usually wasn’t one to take words to heart but when they came from his best friend how could he not.  
“I got an idea.” He smiled, taking another drag before handing her the cig and standing.  
While he walked to the little control shed he pulled his shirt off, tossing it on a chair before disappearing into the small room and flicking on a few switches.  
He poked his head out and looked at the pool, squinting and vanishing again.  
“Aha!” He grinned, looking out as the blue lights started alternating between blue to green to yellow to pink.  
While he fiddled about in the pool room, Audrey stood up, pulling off her top down to her t shirt, leaving that on. then shedding her jeans so she was stood in her underwear.  
She was still more covered up than she would have been in a swim suit.  
When he came out, she looked back over her shoulder, giving him a small smile, before toeing the edge of the pool and diving in. 

He was honestly surprised to see her dressed down, even more surprised at the smile she gave him before she dove in.  
It was a good sign right?  
He shoved his own pants down, leaving him in only his pair of boxer briefs.  
He watched her surface then grinned, running over and cannon-balling in.

She screamed when he landed next to her, laughing a little as he resurfaced, she hid her smile by ducking under slightly, so he could just see her eyes and the top of her head as she trod water.  
“You a strong swimmer?” She asked moving back up and running her hand over her face.  
When he nodded and shrugged, she smiled a little wider.  
“Race you to the end and back?” And before he could answer, she was gone, swimming a third of the length under water before coming back up and swimming hard towards the end of the pool. 

“Shit.” He smiled, moving hard and fast after her.  
She was fast, ridiculously fast, but he caught up. It was a long pool so no doubt they’d tire by the time the made it there and back.  
He got close enough to grab her foot and pull her back, laughing as she stopped in the water and he kept on.  
She gasped and spluttered as he pulled her back, stopping her momentum, but she soon found it again, kicking hard and reaching the end just as he did, only, he slowed down, turning clumsily, and Audrey twisted in the water, bringing her legs up to push her feet hard against the side of the pool, not even breaking to the surface, leaving him behind her again.

He was too high for this shit, he couldn’t get the turn right but still, he pushed on, slowing quite a bit when they reached the end. She was waiting for him when he finally touched the wall.  
“Bitch…” He chuckled.  
Audrey laughed when he finally made it his front crawl turning into more of a doggy paddle the more tired he got.  
She let her laughter slow to a soft hum when he stopped next to her, then put her arms on the sides pulling herself half out the pool, lazily kicking her legs under the water as she looked over at him.  
“Wanna go again…. I’ll go easy on you.” She teased.

Nate leaned over the side, pressing his cheek to the cold tiling and groaned.  
“I’ll die! It’ll be the end of me…then, you’ll go to prison….and beat the shit out of the other women…or become a lesbian….which is cool I guess but not for me Cuz I’ll be dead..”  
He looked at her then stuck his tongue out, closing his eyes feigning death.  
“Oh… I’d only do lesbian things for smokes…” She smiled, resting her chin on her forearms and closing her eyes, letting the water hold her, the air around them still warm where the sun had beat down on the stone tiles all day.  
“And I’ll send flowers to your funeral… or like.. a big bunch of hemp..”  
Maybe it was just the nice buzz she’d got earlier, but her guard was down a little, and his half pouty grin was making her smile. 

He laughed at that. “Damn and I’ll be dead so I can’t even enjoy it…fuck my life..or my death..” He scrunched his brow. “ONLY for smokes? That’s a pity..surely you’ll miss sex and from all the shows I’ve watched it’s pretty damn good..”  
“You watch a lot of shows about lesbians in prison?” She half smiled neatly sidestepping his question. “And smokes are important… they add structure to the day and shit…”

She pushed gently away from the side, tipping onto her back and floating, moving her arms a little as she looked up at the early evening sky.   
“Well….some of its porn, but you know..” He shrugged, turning in the water so his arms rested up on the side of the pool. He was loose-lipped, but he didn’t care. She wasn’t running for the hills yet.  
Yet.

He watched as she bobbed in the water, his eyes wandering to the rest of her, lingering at her breasts as her shirt clung wet to them. They weren’t big, but a tit was a tit in his mind. He had to look away, she’d opened her eyes, staring right at him.  
“You wanna smoke? I wanna smoke.” He smiled, lifting himself out of the pool and wandering over to his pants he’d tossed carelessly to the side.  
He sat on the edge, feet dangling in the water while he lit the joint and pulled off it a few times before sucking it back.  
She let her legs sink again as she opened her eyes, turning her head in time to see him look away.

“Teenager watches porn scandal…. We should call the news desk…” She chuckled, swimming lazily back to the edge as he sat back down.  
Holding the side again, she half pulled up, and when he offered the joint to her she wiggled her fingers.  
“My hands are all wet…. would you..?”   
She leaned up, tilting her head back a little as he held the joint to her lips, and as she took a hit she felt the tips of his fingers brushing over her mouth, then she pulled away, floating on her back again and exhaling up towards the sky in a long plume.

“…it’s uh, purely recreational..” He half chuckled, watching her again as she swam over to the edge.  
When she asked he was a little confused then chuckled, awkwardly moving the smoke between her lips and it was then he realized that was probably the closest they’d gotten to each other.  
There was the car ride here, and playing on the couch together..he held her hand but only to move her into the game room but when her lips grazed his finger tips, if only for a brief second, he couldn’t help but feel it was different.

-you’re just high, it was nothin-

“And I’m 17…hardly classifiable as the prepubescent boys who discover their willies for the first time and get off to the ads on the side of those spam emails..” He laughed, blowing off the smoke from his last hit.  
“You’re gross…” She smiled from the middle of the pool, moving her arms slowly, so she moved in a circle on her back.  
“I don’t need to be thinking about you jacking off…. prepubescent or otherwise…” 

He rolled his eyes, leaning back on his hands, smoke hanging from his lips as he closed his eyes.  
He doubted the others even noticed they were missing which honestly suited him just fine. He actually liked being off on his own, just him and a couple others. He didn’t like cooking up, made him feel anxious and an anxious stoner wasn’t all too pleasant.

“People masturbate…there’s no secret about it….just…feels good. Better when you’re with someone else though..but yeah, you don’t care about my sex life..” He laughed.

“Oh my god! they do?” She went under water, surfacing up by his legs. “You mean people actually masturbate?….. What an ugly deviant world we live in!”  
She laughed, then moved closer, crooking her finger at him.   
“C’mere… I wanna tell you something about masturbating… but I don’t wanna be overheard… yanno?” She smiled up at him as he leaned forwards, then grabbed him by the arm, pulling him in, joint and all, swimming a little away from him as he bobbed back up, coughing and spluttering while she held her sides under water, laughing too hard to speak.

“You didn’t…..” he coughed, snatching the now wet and completely destroyed smoke from the water as it floated away and pouted at it. “Now I have to go inside for another…”  
He glanced back to her then smiled, tossing it away and swimming over to her, grabbing her in his arm and lifting her out of the water a bit before tossing her in again.  
He laughed as she popped up then moved in again, loving how she smiled at him. His hands when to her waist so she wouldn’t moved away, instinctively moving down to her hips.  
It was a dumb move, he knew it, but if he kept it cool maybe she wouldn’t hit him too hard.

Audrey screamed when he threw her, trying to swim away but laughing too much so that when he grabbed her again, all she could do was turn to face him, biting down on her lip to try and stop giggling.  
When his hands moved down to her hips, she paused, her lips parting a little as she looked up at him, and he was hardly smiling now… just in his eyes, but he was looking down at her in such a way that it shut her up completely.  
She felt his hands tighten on her hips, and brought her own up to his arms, feeling the space between them grow smaller.

“Jesus Nate! haven’t you fucked her yet? You’ve been out here, like, an hour…” Drake sat himself at the edge of the pool, a bottle of jack in his hand, smiling at them both.


	3. Redneck killer zombie ghosts

Audrey looked quickly over at Drake, then back to Nate, frowning deeply as she pushed away from him, furious at herself for being so stupid.  
Drake watched her swim over to the steps and get out of the pool, grabbing her clothes and stalking off into the pool house, giving her a little wave as she did. 

Nate wheeled around and swam to the edge. Pissed. not that Drake had ruined anything that MIGHT have happened, but that he’d chased her off by being a dick.  
“Can’t you keep your fucking mouth shut? God..you’re such an ass when you drink..” He yelled, snatching the bottle from his hand and shoving him in the pool.  
It was a cheap shot, but he wasn’t in the mood to fight, not with him.  
He stalked over to where Audrey had retreated, the sound of Drake coughing behind him making him smile a little.

“Audrey?…” he called in, looking around and seeing her dressing. “I'm Sorry…He’s just…”  
“It’s ok…”   
She’d dropped her soaking t-shirt to the floor and was buttoning her dry shirt up when he walked in, her back to him as she finished dressing, then turned to him, squeezing the worst of the water from her hair before pulling her hoodie back on.  
“I’m…. I’m just gonna go..” She said, not meeting his gaze, her mouth set in anger. 

“No…it’s not fucking Ok.” He hissed. “He watched her dress quickly. He hadn’t meant anything by touching her, not really, and he hoped she wasn’t mad at him but she probably was.  
"I can drive you..if you want that is, if not you can just take my car and I’ll get time tomorrow..”  
He felt incredibly stupid, both for thinking Drake could keep himself in line, and for thinking she’d actually enjoy being here.

Audrey brushed her hair back, then sniffed hard, finally looking over at him, hurt etched over her face.  
“Did you…… Did you really just bring me here to fuck me?” She asked, her voice small now, her arms creeping around her chest.

His mouth fell open and a short laugh huffed out. Had he?  
“Fuck, Audrey…no!” He shook his head, moving his hand over his half wet hair and shaking it out. “No..I didn’t bring you here JUST to fuck you…I didn’t expect anything. I just..I like you Ok? I just wanted you to hang out..get to know me but I guess it doesn’t matter now does it…”

She didn’t say anything for a moment.  
One part of her just wanted to tell him to go fuck himself, to storm off away from this tacky, ostentatious house, to tell herself that this was exactly what she was afraid of and yet again, it’s all she should have expected.  
But the other part of her wondered if he was telling the truth, because… up until that point, she’d been having fun.  
She liked him.

“You can drive me back…. if you want to.” She shrugged. “I can walk though if you wanna stay.. it’s only like 3 miles…” 

Her silence had made him nervous, his stomach turning as he waited for her to just tell him to stick it up his ass and leave.  
“I’ll drive you…..I don’t plan on staying anymore anyways…” He shrugged, glancing down at himself and sighing. “I Gotta go in and get my shit…steal my fucking snacks back…”  
He looked to her again, giving her an apologetic smile before heading back out and grabbing his clothes.

“You’re not seriously bailing on us for that are you?” Drake frowned, watching Nate gather up his things.  
“Nate… are you fucking serious? She’s a skank… just… sit down, smoke a little, play some games…”  
“Yeah, Drake, Im fucking serious.” He turned, looking him in the eye and he was glad Audrey was in the car because if she heard the way Drake talked about her…  
“Her name..is Audrey, and she is not a that or a skank! She’s a fucking human, and She’s better fucking company that your drunk ass..” He turned to go, grabbing his bag and walking off.

“You’re an idiot.” Drake pointed at him, swaying slightly. “I have known you for 8 fucking years… you haven’t even known her for 8 hours…”  
He bit down on his lower lip, his mouth curling into a smile.  
“I geddit… you want her… it’s cool… I’m not holding it against you… I’m just kidding man… Bring your girl back in, I’ll play nice. I got some fucking heavy shit upstairs, we’ll get her nice and relaxed, yeah?” He tilted his head, raising and eyebrow as he spread his hands off to his sides.  
“She don’t need to ruin the evening… she could enhance it… right?” 

Nate stopped dead in his tracks. He couldn’t believe what he’d just heard. No, he could believe it because it wasn’t the first time Drake had said shit like that…wasn’t the first time he’d actually done it.  
Tossing the bag down on the floor he turned, his glare ice cold. “You fuck…I told you not to mention that ever again! One fucking mistake!” He yelled, watching Drake smile, challenging him.  
“You’re trash..you know that? You think you got all this money so Why not spend it getting fucked up and raping whoever…no one fucking cares Drake? Not a single one you’ve fucked?…they don’t give a shit..they want a free load of blow and a quick fuck…..”   
He was fuming at this point, only advancing when Drake started to laugh, hitting him square in the nose, feeling it shatter under his fist as watched him fall to the floor.  
“Laugh now…..you’ve fucking earned that..”  
——-  
He’d gotten in the car and was silent, opening and closing his fist when it started to hurt, Drake’s blood still on his knuckles.  
“So..your car then?”

Audrey stared down at his fist, then dragged her gaze back up to his face.  
He wasn’t smiling anymore.  
His lips were a thin bloodless line, his jaw clenched, even the tendons in his neck were taunt.  
“You can just drive me back to the store… I can walk from there…”  
“Right..” He nodded, shifting the car into drive and peeling out of the driveway, tossing rocks up at the other vehicles parked behind him.

He was still pissed, his whole body shaking and when he got home he’d probably sit in his room and hot box himself until he passed out.  
When he pulled up to the store he turned the car off, taking a deep breath.  
“So, Sorry about everything you know…you can just, forget me or whatever..”

She sat with her hands in her lap, looking out the windscreen as he spoke.  
“I don’t want to forget you.” She said softly turning a little in her seat so she was looking across at him.  
“Up until the end… I was actually having a kinda good time…. You don’t exactly suck..” She half smiled, wondering if he’d smile back or if that was it. She’d caused a fight between him and his friend and all he wanted to do was drop her here and drive away. 

He chuckled softly and smiled the most barely there smile and looked over at her.  
“It would have been fine if he hadn’t started drinking..doesn’t excuse anything I know…” He sighed, dropping his head to the steering wheel and closing his eyes.  
“You really had a goodish time?” He looked at her, keeping his head put.  
“I did.” She smiled, tilting her head to the side so she could catch his eye.   
“You know… It’s still really early… and you have all these snacks, I mean… we could do something, if you wanted to…” She shrugged and looked out the car window, trying to sound casual. “But… Whatever..”

He sat up, smiling when she did and chuckled as she looked away.  
How was it she still wanted to hang out with him with everything that had gone down. She didn’t hear Drake’s comment though, maybe if she had….

-Shut up….-

He smiled wider at him then reached in the back, pulling Drake’s bottle of Jack out with a laugh. “We could..I know a place if you don’t mind abandoned and probably haunted places..” He raised an eyebrow when she looked over.  
“I’m not afraid of Ghosts.” She smiled, looking down her shoulder at him.  
She took the bottle from his hand and opened it, taking a quick swig. 

Nate smiled, starting the car up again and pulling away from the store and off in the direction of the house.  
They’d found it one year while driving around, being stupid. It was cool actually, cobwebs and hidden rooms.  
As he drive he told her all about how one time, Drake screamed like a fucking girl all because a mouse ran in front of him and he thought it was some demon or whatever.  
They were all, of course, stoned stupid, so it was a great time.

“You know… I’ve seen enough horror movies to know this is usually a bad idea.” She smiled, bringing her knees up to her chest as he drove, taking another small sip from the bottle.  
“So.. I’m just warning you now… anything freaky starts happening.. I’m bailing and leaving your behind for the redneck killer zombie ghosts… ok?”

Nate looked over, grinning wide. “Yeah…sounds like a plan, only…..if they get me…and I become a killer zombie ghost….I'm coming after you first…..you’ve been waaarned.”  
He made ghost / zombie noises at her, licking his lips and moaning.  
She threw a handful of chips at him with a grin, picking one off his shoulder and eating it.  
“I’m not worried…. if you’re as slow a runner as you are a swimmer, I’m leaving your ass in the dirt.”

He laughed, swatting the chips off him then made a right turn on an old dirt road, slowing a bit as it got really rocky.  
He soon pulled up the drive of the house, grinning up at it through the windshield when he parked.  
“There she is….in all her rotten glory….”  
As soon as he stopped, she leaned forwards looking up through the windscreen at the house.  
“Oh my god!” She breathed. “I thought you meant like some old farm house or something…. this is huge!”  
“Yeah..to fit all the ghosts in…” he looked at her and smirked before snatching the bottle from her and his backpack that was now fully stocked with snacks and weed.  
“You coming?” He turned, walking backwards towards the house.

It was pretty much dark out, the moon casting an eerie shadow over the whole place.  
And she was right..it was huge.  
Audrey got out the car, grabbing her phone and swiping on the flashlight, skipping in front of him and turning to face him, walking backwards with the light shining up her face as she held it to her chin.  
“Are you scared?” She said quietly, grinning wide.   
Nate laughed, hiking his pack higher on his shoulder and shaking his head. “Not a chance..”  
He took a pull from the bottle then looked behind him, thinking he maybe heard something but laughing it off. “Cmon. There’s a cool room upstairs….it’s like…straight up horror movie.”

Inside the house was cold, and her damp hair and wet shoulders, made it colder still, and despite her bravado she wrapped her arms around herself as she followed him up the dilapidated staircase.  
He held tight to the railing looking back at her once or twice then slowing down and reaching for her hand.  
“It gets a bit sketchy towards the top.”  
She took his hand, holding it a little tighter when her foot dislodged a rotten bit of banister sending it tumbling over the side with a loud clatter.   
Chuckling Nate drug her up the rest of the way quickly, barely making it up himself then fell to the floor, still laughing, her coming down next room him.  
“Ha! See? Sketchy. The rooms just down the hall.”

He stood and helped her up, holding her hand just a bit longer before moving on, taking the bottle from her and pulling off it.  
“It’s super creepy so…you know, if you need to cling to me or anything…”  
Letting him pull her up, she felt his fingers momentarily tighten around hers, then he let go, moving down the hall.  
“Sure… very funny. You bring a lot of girls up here then? Hoping to make them fall into your arms and shit…” She muttered.

“Whys everyone think I’m a whore?” He asked over his shoulder, frowning a little. “Yeah, I’ll admit..I brought a couple here..only slept with one..” he shrugged, looking forward again and moving faster down the hall.  
Once they reached the door he pushed it open, moving in with the light on his phone and found the short table, flipping his phone on it’s face so the light filled the room best it could.  
It looked like a bedroom, small cot in the corner dresser, armoire.

“But it worked right?” She smiled when he looked offended. “You got what you wanted…”  
When he brought her in she held her phone in front of her, turning in the center of the room.  
“Doesn’t look so scary… just looks old and dirty…” 

“Of course I did..she screamed and ran into my arms..” he gave her a smile to match the one she threw at him.  
“Just wait….when it gets later shit starts happening…though, maybe it’s the drugs..” He laughed and dug a small Bong from his pack. “I bet they’re pretty pissed they can’t find this..” He laughed setting it up.  
She chuckled softly, moving over to the window and rubbing a patch of dirt and dust off it.  
“It's really dark out now.” She said quietly. In the far distance she could see the city lights, but between them and it, only darkness. 

He watched her then slowly moved up behind her, grabbing his shoulders quickly and rawring at her, laughing when she jumped a bit.  
then stood back laughing, his face scrunched up.  
“It gets fucking dark so better hope your phones charged..”  
Her heart lurched in her chest when he grabbed her, and as she turned, she hit him hard on the shoulder with the heel of her hand.  
“Jerk.”   
Looking down at her phone, she was glad to see she was on about 70%, so it wasn’t too bad. 

He chuckled as he watched her look nervously to her phone then moved back to the table he’d set up on, taking the first hit.  
“Chill..not gonna let the ghosts get Ya.”  
She watched him, not sure if she wanted to get high. She still didn’t know him, was still a little upset about earlier if she was honest, but she didn’t want to let it show. She was harder than that, tougher.  
“Please tell me you didn’t fuck that poor girl on that gross ass cot!” She grimaced, poking at the thin mattress with her foot.   
He looked up, leaning back and shook his head.  
“Course not..” he smiled, blowing smoke to the side. “Fucked her on the floor…” He nodded over then laughed.  
He didn’t need to tell her about his sex life. She was not as easy as the others and though he was more than willing to pursue her, he wasn’t going to try and shag her here.  
“Wasn’t one of my proudest moments..”  
Looking down at her feet Audrey pulled a horrified face at the dirt and rodent shit and dust all over the floor.   
“That’s just nasty..” She shuddered. “You must have been wasted to think that was a good idea…” But she laughed, moving over to him as he put the bong back down.  
“Show me how?”   
She pointed at it, fishing her lighter out her pocket and waggling it in her fingers. 

He smiled, snatching her lighter then clearing his throat a little and sniffing.  
“Kay..so, Ya got your light..” he held her lighter up then made sure it was still packed in the bowl before tipping it towards him. “Put your mouth on it..like this..” he pressed it over his lips, glancing at her to make sure she was watching then pulled away.  
“While you're like that keep it tipped, and light in the bowl, inhaling as you do just until..” he had moved his mouth back to the chamber and flicked the light, puffing back until it glowed red. “…it Burns like that..then just keep on..” He smiled, taking the smoke that rolled up the pipe then pulled away, trying to talk around the hit.  
“It’s easy really…just..better than a joint..” he chuckled, sucking back then blowing out. “Your turn.”

She did as he showed her, looking up at him every so often to see if she was doing it right, then she pulled away, opening her mouth a little to let the smoke play around her lips pulling it back again before exhaling slowly.  
“d’I get it right?”  
Nate nodded, making grabby hands for it back. “Yeah, just gotta hold your mouth a little firmer so your smoke don’t escape..”  
He went to take another hit and set it back in front of her, laying back on the floor with a groan. “Shoulda brought in a blanket….forgot how cold it gets..”

Audrey didn’t take another hit.  
Instead, she lit up a cigarette, pulling her hood up to ward off the chill as she drew her knees to her chest, resting her chin on them.  
It was cold, and she started to wonder if she should say something about leaving, although Nate seemed content to stay here and get stupidly high.   
The were quiet awhile, and he honestly didn’t know how long he lay there until he started hearing shit.  
He listened as the floor creaked, a door down the hall closed…  
“Hey..” he whispered. “You hear it?…shits gonna get freaky..” he chuckled.  
“Shut up.” She mumbled, flicking ash on the floor. “I don’t hear shit.”  
But then she did, the soft sound of movement from deep in the house, making the hairs on the back of her neck stand up. 

“Bullshit..” he whispered, sitting up and looking around in the dark, mouth hung open a little as he listened.  
“Sometimes…we can hear voices..Mostly it’s just random noises…but, you ain’t scared of ghosts….are Ya Aud.” He grinned, looking at her.  
Another knock came from downstairs, followed by the sound of something being drug along the floor.  
Maybe it was the drugs, but it sure was a hell of a rush.

And suddenly she was afraid, but not of ghosts.  
In her head she could see the others creeping up the stairs, like an elaborate game of cat and mouse that Nate was in on, like maybe Drake thought it would be more fun to take her out here.  
But maybe that was just a rush of paranoia.  
She stood up with a start when a floorboard creaked outside the door, backing up a little.

“Shit!” Nate started, jumping up and falling back on the nasty cot with a disgusted groan. “Fuck..you ok?” He looked to Audrey, seeing her shy away as another bang came from the hall. “Fuck…ok, ok…um..”  
He was honestly freaking out, weed and whiskey now this…  
“We should…we should go..” He breathed, moving towards his pack, dumping the bong water out before shoving that in and throwing it over his shoulder.  
“Cmon cmon cmon…” He breathed, grabbing Audrey’s hand and tugging her out the room.

The noises seemed extra loud, granted he hadn’t been there in maybe 6 months? But still. He managed to guide them down the stairs, stumbling at the end then quickly moving towards the front door.  
When they hit the cold outside air he took a deep breath, turning to look at the harmless old house, busting up laughing, sinking down the side of his car, unable to stop.

It was only when he grabbed her hand, that she realized he was as scared as she was, and somehow, it made her less so.  
She could just about deal with the creaking and groaning of ghosts, but flesh and blood people were another thing altogether.

As he dragged her outside, she spun on her heel to look back at the house, convinced they were being followed, but all she saw were empty windows, trees grown too close to the outer walls, creaking against them in the wind, no doubt reverberating through the whole house.  
When he started to laugh, she turned angrily, thinking he was laughing at her, that he’d set this up as a joke to see her frightened, but then she saw the slightly manic edge he had, the way his hands shook even as he clutched his sides, and she knew his laughter was relief, like the way someone will laugh after getting off a fast roller coaster, or after a jump scare in a movie.  
“You idiot!” She groaned, sitting heavily next to him, letting her head tip back on the side of the car as she waited for her heart to stop racing, and when his laughter tapered off, she turned her head to look at him, a smile spreading across her lips.  
“That was actually pretty scary..” She said, then dissolved into her own fit of giggles. 

When she started laughing, Nate’s own started back up again, making him tip over into the grass holding his sides. “I’m not scared of ghosts!” He imitated her from earlier between, snorting now he was laughing so hard.   
“Looks to me you were pretty scared!” He giggled, managing a few deep breaths and as he calmed he grinned still, flopping back and watching her laugh as he took his own heavy breaths.   
God she has a beautiful laugh..and smile..I bet she doesn’t even know it. 

Her stomach muscles hurt from laughing so much, and as she tapered off she sighed, rolling over so she was lying on her back next to him, looking up at the small patch of stars through the trees, still giggling occasionally.  
“Pretty sure if you’d actually seen something you would have screamed like a lil girl…” She huffed, biting on her lip to try and stop herself laughing again. She turned her head so she was looking at his profile, and his smile was back, the one he’d had in the pool, and she was glad, had been afraid she might have broken it for the night.

He laughed again, placing his hand on his chest to feel his heart still beating fast, big dumb grin on his face still.  
“Yeah right…you’d be the one screaming..in fact, I think I did hear a little something while we were going down the stairs..” He teased, looking over at her. “Told Ya it was fucked up didn’t I..”  
“You heard nothing from me!” She growled, still grinning as she poked him on the arm.  
She drew her hand back and looked up at the sky again, taking a deep breath in before sighing it out.  
“Yeah, it was fucked up, and I wasn’t even really high or anything.” She hummed as she smiled, placing one hand on her middle, letting the other rest between them both.  
“Imagine being in there on shrooms or acid….. fuuuuck.” She chuckled again at the thought.

“You wet yourself.” He chuckled, smiling at her confused look then elaborating. “On shrooms….you wet yourself because your friends think it’s funny to drop you in there and drive away…”  
He could laugh about it now, but at the time other was the worst night of his life. The worst TRIP he’d ever had.  
“You’re supposed to have a mushroom buddy..someone who’s sober to kind of coax Ya down if it gets too heavy..Yeah…guess Who I picked for my buddy..”

“Oh my god..” She frowned, rolling onto her side to face him. “That’s fucked up…”  
She didn’t have to ask who he’d picked, it was painfully obvious who he would have picked.  
“Your friends must have some pretty redeeming qualities for you to still class them as friends.” She said quietly.

“Yeah well..” he shrugged, reaching up to scrub at his eyes, blinking. “Fuck.. I'm really fucking thirsty….you wanna go to McDonald’s? Get a shake or whatever?”  
He didn’t care really, not about that night. He laughed about it after the next day. Shit happened.  
“I don’t have any money.” She said, embarrassed to have to admit it.   
Audrey had put her last $10 on the table at Drakes, and her account was empty till next week. Anything she needed before then she was gonna have to beg, borrow or steal, and she wasn’t one for begging, didn’t know enough people to borrow from.  
She sat up, taking her lighter out her pocket and fiddling with it, wondering if she should light a smoke or not, or if she should save them for tomorrow now. 

Nate sat up, draping his arms over his knees and sniffed.  
“No matter. I got it.” He chuckled, moving to stand but only managing to flop back on the ground. “Maybe we should chill for a bit…might not be good to drive…unless you are? You can drive my car..”  
She laughed when he sat heavily next to her again.  
“I’ll be good in a while if you want me to drive…. We could sit in the car though? Warmer…”   
She didn’t have a jacket with her and the night air started to chill her properly now, goosebumps raising up on her arms now the rush of adrenalin had worn off a little. 

He nodded, sitting up properly again and sighed. “Yeah, lets sit in there..there's some snacks still too, didn’t grab much, and a lot got left in there but I think there's still a bag of chips.”   
He lifted himself up with the help of the car door and leaned against it, holding his hand out to her.   
“I’ll never let go Jack! I’ll never let go!”   
Audrey rolled her eyes, but took his hand, getting to her feet with a sway and head rush that made her giggle again.  
She leaned against the door, facing him as her blearily smiled back at her.  
“Hi…” She said, then started to laugh, like it was the funniest thing she’d ever heard.  
“Hi.” He chuckled back, leaning closer, hooking his foot over his other and resting his chin on his hand. “Come here often?”  
“I do… as it happens..” She laughed, then tried to keep a straight face. “This is actually my house…. You may have seen it… MTV cribs…. “

Nate looked up at the house with a grimace, then looked back down at her smug little smile. “It’s lovely..and I bet you throw all kinds of parties in it with those little cocktail wieners..” He pinched his fingers together and squinted at them, “and shrimp…”  
“Oh I do..” She grinned, slapping his hand away lightly when he pinched his fingers together near her face.  
“And champagne and caviar and chocolate fountains and dancing…. I mean.. you saw the size of the place… I have all that fancy dancing going on like a god damn ball or something..”

“Dancing!” Nate grinned, pushing off the car and twirling around once then holding his hand out to her again. “Show me Miss Audrey, how does one with such a fine estate dance..” He smiled, his voice sounding like that of some pompous brit.   
Audrey laughed, then when he held out his hand, she grinned, turning to lean in through the car window, turning on the radio, some lame local station belting out sugar coated country.  
Moving over to him She cocked her head, his hand still held out to her.  
“First… I gotta curtsy…” She tipped one foot behind her, lifting her arms from her sides and bobbing into a low curtsy in front of him. “… then.. you bow…” 

Nate watched her wobble on her feet as she did and chuckled, twirling his hand in front of him while throwing the other back and bending forward, almost falling flat on his face.   
He came up with a head rush and smiled, holding hi hand back out to her.   
“M’lady..”   
She snorted into a laugh putting her hands on her thighs and leaning forwards until she stopped.  
“Ok, ok, ok….” She cleared her throat, standing up straight and taking his hand. “… Now… here’s where it gets tricky… the actual dancing bit….”  
Moving in a little closer, she took up his free hand and put it on her waist, then looked down at their feet… her mind blank.  
“I seriously have no idea what I’m doing..” She chuckled.

Nate looked across at her, smiling a little then clearing his throat and looking down at their feet, nudging her toes together a little more. “It’s easy..” He shrugged, looking up at her again then moved his hand along her back, drawing her closer. “Just have to know what kind of dance you wanna do.. You wanna slow dance you gotta be close, put your hand on my shoulder..” 

She was about to argue that they weren't meant to be slow dancing, but the music that floated across to them from the car was slow and melodious, like the radio had dictated what they could do.  
Audrey nodded once, putting her hand on his shoulder as he pulled her a little closer to him.  
“How come you know so much about slow dancing?” She teased gently, her voice softening as he gradually started to move her in time to the music.   
“Chicks dig it..” He shrugged, turning them a little and holding her just a little tighter and closing his eyes. “Been to a lot of proms in a lot of schools..guess it’s a good skill to have you know..”  
“Chicks dig it..” She chuckled, then bit down on her lower lip as he held her tighter.

Something seemed to have shifted, the air around them growing denser, the random laughing fits worn off as they both sobered up a little more.   
“They do..” He laughed, pulling back to look at her as they danced, a small smile playing across his lips. “You’re diggin it arent ya?” He asked, dropping her hand and draping it over his shoulder, having her do the same with her other then placing his hands on her hips as they moved closer to each other.   
“They like it when a guy tells then they look beautiful tonight..” He licked his lips, looking up from hers. 

She didn’t answer the first question, didn’t want to admit that yes, she very much liked the fact they were dancing, even when it was on a patch of scrubby grass in front of a falling down house, to country music… there was no way she was admitting that.  
But she smiled when he moved her hands up to his shoulders, putting his own on her hips.  
“They like it when it's sincere.” She answered, her hands moving closer together, finding the longer hair at the nape of his neck and almost absently playing with it. “… and they always know when it’s not..”   
"Always?” He raised an eyebrow, half smiling. “How do the always know if it sincere or not?”   
He moved them closer, their feet shifting slowly, bumping each others occasionally making them stop and re-situate.   
“Bullshit radar.” She smiled. “Other than that… its a secret… I can’t tell you.”

They moved slower and slower until they were barely moving, her arms tightening around his neck.   
“Bullshit radar..” He teased, tightening his hands on her hips and sliding them up her back, taking a deep breath. He didn’t speak again until the were stopped, Audrey bumped back against the car.   
He opened his eyes, looking into hers as they looked at him wide eyed.   
“So, either it's bullshit…or you really do look beautiful tonight.” He smiled, his hands moving from her back to her shoulders, his eyes never leaving hers. 

Maybe she’d said it as a joke, but it was true really.  
She’d learned to read people from an early age. She’d had to, it was a survival mechanism, and the reason she mostly kept to herself. Constantly watching for subtle signs, tiny shifts in a persons mood or behavior was exhausting.   
So when he said it, she looked away, because she could already see he wasn’t lying, he wasn’t trying to flatter her, the smile he gave with it was open, just, happy… not wolfish or sly, his gaze didn’t dart around her face, drop to her chest, they’d only flickered fractionally away from hers and to her lips.  
Her hands were still on the back of his neck, and before he could say anything else, she pulled him closer, pressing her mouth to his. 

Instinctively he pressed into it, his hands moved up to push around her jaw as they kissed, but he didn’t push it..never pushed it…Yet, her lips were insistent, pushing against his more until his parted, catching hers as they slide through.

She hoped he wouldn’t ruin it.. wouldn’t suddenly think sticking his tongue down her throat and a hand between her legs was what she wanted, but it was so often the way, and she kissed him, almost to test him, and every second that passed she relaxed more into it.  
He was almost gentlemanly, letting her lead, his hands on her jaw, cupping instead of gripping, his body pressed to hers softly, not grinding against her thigh like a horny dog, and as her lips parted more, she let her tongue dart out, just the tip, to graze along his.   
A soft moan slipped past his lips and pressed against hers, his tongue hitting hers a bit harder.  
He didn’t plan for this, didn’t expect to get anywhere with her tonight but here they were, pressed against his car.  
Slowly, she softened her mouth, pulling back a little, until they were nose to nose, breathing softly.  
“I have to go home.” She whispered, nodding to herself as she looked down at her hands resting on his chest.

He closed his eyes, sighing deeply as he nodded. Of course she did..they always had to go home.   
“You never told me….what was the secret?” He asked with a soft chuckle, pressing closer to her again, kissing her lips softly, not rushing anything, just wanting to taste her lips on his again.   
“I’ll take you home after you tell me the secret..”   
“The secret?” She smiled, pressing into his soft kisses, small, almost playful now.  
“The secret is a poverty stricken tragic back story….” She chuckled, ducking under his arm and moving to get into the car. “Something you’ll never have.”

The smile he had as they kissed fell as soon as she finished her statement.   
What was he supposed to say to that. No, I wont ever know what its like to be poor. Or, You’re right, I’m right and I'm important and you’re not.?  
Of course he couldn’t, wouldn’t..because that’s not how he felt about it. Yes, his parents had money, but he didn’t let that fact determine his thoughts and actions.   
“Um, so..where do you live? I think you were kidding when you said this was your crib..”   
“Shit… I don’t know the address yet… I can give you directions when we get to the store though?”  
She turned to look at him, frowning a little when she saw he wasn’t smiling anymore. maybe he was pissed that she had to go, maybe it hadn’t gone far enough for him, she glanced away, automatically putting her hand in her pocket for smokes, then remembering she was saving them and bringing it out again.

He watched her fish around in her pocket and come out empty handed and took a breath. “You wanna smoke? Take my pack..theres one in the console.” He nodded to it as he started up the car and pulled from the drive. “Fish me one out too?”   
She looked across at him, almost cautiously, but her desire for a smoke trumped her pride, and she fetched the pack out, taking two and putting them both in her mouth, lighting them at the same time, then taking one between two fingers and leaning across, placing it between his lips for him.   
He leaned over as she pushed the smoke in his mouth then smiled around it. “Thanks.”

They were quiet then, the radio buzzing in the background making it awkward.  
When got parked at the store again and turned the car off he sighed, looking over at her. “I just wanna say I'm Sorry…if anything I did made you uncomfortable or anything..”  
“You didn’t…” She said quickly, turning in her seat a little, holding his gaze. “Nate… I had a really great time with you.”   
She smiled then, a half chuckle escaping her lips. “I’m sorry…. You know… that I have to go. But they have tight rules at this house, and I can’t afford to get busted, not this time.”  
She looked down at her lap, then slowly reached across for his hand.  
“I can honestly say… no one ever got me stoned and took me to a haunted house before… so…” She laughed softly, looking over at him with a smile. 

“Bucket list?” He grinned, leaning is head back on the seat and looking over at her. “You really had fun huh..”   
When she nodded he smiled, rolling his head forward again and sitting up.  
“When I first saw you last week at school..I thought you were different, strange..” He smiled. “I like that..that’s why I invited you out tonight..not just to fuck you..I want you to know that.” 

She looked up from their hands, holding his gaze a moment before nodding gently.  
“I know.. I’m just kinda sensitive about shit like that.” She dropped her gaze again, frowning a little. “I’m sorry things went south at your friends place.”  
Nate shrugged, looking down, tightening his hand in hers, letting his thumb slide over hers.   
“Yeah well..he’ll get over it eventually. I might have a punch or two coming my way tomorrow but its alright” He smiled. “Maybe Monday you could loan me one of your shirts..” He chuckled.   
Audrey laughed, looking up at the ceiling a second, before turning her gaze to him again, smiling a little wider.  
“I’ll be sure to wear two then.”  
With a sigh, she glanced at the clock on the dash.  
“I have to go… Probably won’t make it anyways..” She shrugged, then pulled her phone out, smiling as she tapped out a text then sent it, smiling when Nates phone buzzed.  
“Now you got my number.” She said softly, before leaning across to kiss him quick, getting out the car straight after, shutting the door, and jogging off across the lot, back home.

Nate chuckled when she ran off, frowning a little when she went out of view.   
this place has strict rules.  
That’s what she’d said, and he hadn’t caught it before but now he thought about it he realized she was in a foster home.  
He looked down at the new text she’d send him; a winky face, and smiled, texting her back quick.   
>You could let me drive you there..next time?  
>> maybe.  
>> although, if we already did haunted house, whats next?  
>> bear pit? laser sharks? ;)  
She laughed softly, tapping it out as she walked, then saw the time cursing under her breath.  
The door would be locked and she’d have to ring the bell.  
So much for keeping a low profile this time.

>Lazer sharks rnt real.  
>Lazer ferrets r all teh rage..  
He smiled as he sat there then decided to get on and head home. Maybe a night there wouldn’t be so terrible. If anyone bothered him he’d just lock himself in his room.


	4. Say Hi to Mr Wiggles

Audrey had spent all of Sunday at the house, phone taken off her, only allowed to use the computer in the office for homework.   
She didn’t bitch about it like most kids did, having your phone taken away from you for a day wasn’t the worst thing that could happen to you, so she just rolled with it, and on Monday morning, when it was handed back to her, she answered his text.

» Ferrets do that thing where they go up your pants leg.  
» Lazers up pants legs probably aren’t a smart idea.

Nate looked down at his lap as his phone lit up and buzzed, raising his eyebrow at the responses to the texts he almost forgot he sent. Almost.  
He’d gone home and went straight to his room, ignoring the chiding he got from his brother about being out past curfew and stinking like skunk.   
He didn’t care really what his brother or his parents thought of him.   
When he hadn’t heard from her all the rest of the weekend he thought maybe she really didn’t have as god a time as she claimed, maybe she only said that so his feeling wouldn’t get hurt when she ditched him for good.

He sat parked at school, cigarette dangling from his mouth and texted her back.   
>She lives! thot u ditchd me 4 sum othr guy ;)

>> Nope.   
>> They took my phone off me, so I was MIA, being good and doing homework and shit.  
>> I’m ditching 2nd period. I might be under the bleachers if you happened to ditch it too. 

>u got a date  
>c ya then Aud :)  
Nate looked at the time then cursed, pulling one last drag off his cigarette before crushing it out and grabbing his bag to head into his first class.   
He was looking forward to seeing her again, though, he hoped she didn’t laugh too hard when she saw the split lip he got.   
\--------------------------------------  
“Ow..” Audrey frowned, peering at the split on his lip. “Guess you guys kissed and made up then?”   
She’d already seen Drake in the hall, a dressing over the bridge of his nose, bruising under his eyes starting to fade, she had to admit she was impressed but was less so about the look he’d given her.  
They were sat cross-legged facing each other, knees touching as they smoked, and she reached across to gently run the pad of her finger over it.  
“Sucks to be you…. guess that means you won’t wanna kiss me now.” She chuckled.

“We kissed, we made up, we smoked..” He chuckled, wincing a little when her finger caught the seam of it. “Ow..”   
It wasn't as bad as it looked really.   
Nate had gone back to Drakes house on Sunday to see how his face was and they’d ended up arguing and, eventually, he’d gotten hit.   
“Never said I didn’t want to kiss you.” He half smiled on the side that wasn't split. 

She decided not to say anything about Drakes dirty look, and instead, leaned forwards with a smile, planting a slow kiss to the side of his mouth.   
“This ok?” She chuckled, pressing into mouth gently at his lower lip.  
“Mm-mhm..” he nodded, closing his eyes and reciprocating as much as he could without bleeding on her. “Very much Ok…”  
He lifted his hand to her face, pushing her hair off to the side.  
“Been wanting one of those all weekend.”  
“Oh yeah?” She smiled, turning her attention to his top lip, before carefully pressing her mouth to his properly, running her tongue softly over the tip of his.  
“Me too.” She whispered.

The corner of Nates mouth turned up in a smile as she kissed him again. Even hurt, he pressed against each one, flicking his tongue out across hers and breathing through his nose.  
“Have you?… You liked it that much huh? Not surprising…” He laughed, reaching up and holding her by the back of the head gently.  
“So cocky..” She chuckled as he pulled her close again.  
Even being careful, she could taste blood, and she wondered if it hurt, certainly she’d never wanted to kiss anyone when she had a split lip, but then… generally, she’d never really wanted to kiss anyone. 

He chuckled, kissing her softly before pulling away with a smug grin. “What do you know about my cock..?” He asked in mock seriousness.  
“I know it likes lesbian prison porn.” She laughed, her tongue creeping to the corner of her mouth when she tasted blood there, then smiling, rolling her sleeve over her finger and pressing it to his split lip for a moment, waiting for it to stop bleeding.

Nate laughed. “That’s it does. Very very much..”  
He looked down his nose at her as she dabbed at his lip, licking out at the bit of sleeve then dabbed him again.  
“It likes other things though too..” He added, licking out over the slit when she drew away again. “..like, long walks on the beach and pina coladas..getting caught in the rain..”  
“Well… that just kind of makes me think of Shrek…” She wrinkled her nose and laughed, leaning back on her hands looking at him with a smile.  
She’d half wondered what it would be like between them today.  
He might have thought she didn’t want anything to do with him, after all, she didn’t contact him for nearly 2 days, but that wasn’t her fault and he seemed pretty laid back about it, but she had to admit, she’d been worried that she’d come to school to find he’d gone around telling everyone they fucked, even though they hadn’t. Wouldn’t be the first time, and it was scary how much people wanted to believe you were a slut. 

Audrey watched him as he gingerly took a drag on his cigarette from the good side of his mouth.  
She didn’t think he was the kind of person to do that.  
Drake? Yes… He was exactly the kind of nasty shit who’d be cruel just for fun, but she didn’t think Nate was.  
“So… How’d the rest of your weekend go? .. Aside from going 3 rounds with Drake.” She chuckled.

“How on earth does that make you think of shrek?” Nate scrunched his face up at her and shook his head as he exhaled. “Rupert Holmes?…Escape?…. If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape. I’m the love that you’ve looked for, write to me, and escape!” He sang, grinning at her then breaking out laughing.  
"I didn’t do a damn thing really..some homework…” He shrugged, his laughter tapering to a short chuckle. “Fucked around on the internet….”  
She laughed when he started singing, leaning forwards again when he stopped, taking the cigarette from his lips and kissing him, softer this time.  
“Sounds like a fun packed wholesome time.” She teased.

"So what did you get up to?" He asked, pressing his thumb to his cut with a grimace as she sat back.   
“She shrugged.” Not much.   
Bringing her knees up together she took a drag on the last of the smoke she’d taken from his mouth, looking out at the football field through the gaps in the benches above them.  
“I only have another like, 9 months here anyway, then… I dunno, better start looking for a job and a place to stay.”

Nate looked at her and frowned. “What happens in 9 months?..”  
He thought he had a general idea, but he hated to think that she’d just get kicked to the street like a dog.  
“Turn 18.” She said, crushing out the smoke, looking over at him with a smile. “Fully fledged adult… I mean, if I was smart, I could get like sponsorship and grants and shit… Stay in school, but I'm not, so... I’d better start practicing waitressing, cus I don’t have the tits to strip.”   
She laughed, but it wasn’t really funny.  
“Maybe I’ll leave state… Head west... I dunno. I haven’t decided yet.”  
Audrey smiled, fiddling with a hole in the knees of her jeans.  
“You got college plans?”

"Maybe... I dunno. Was thinking of something Science based, Chem you know?" He shrugged, still frowning a little at her. "You're not dumb though, right? You just have to work out what you wanna do."

She frowned, looking down at her hand before shaking her head and laughing.  
“I don’t DO anything… I don’t have interests... I mean, I go to school. I dick about, smoke a little… I’m not destined for great things Nate, I’m service industry fodder.”  
“That’s bullshit.” He looked up, frowning at her. “Whoever’s fed that shit to you needs their dick ran through a blender..”  
She gave him a dirty look but he didn’t care, just because he came from money didn’t mean he was a dick hole like the others.  
“I'm sure you’ve got shit you’re good at…”  
“Yeah…. Whatever you say.”  
She put her knees back down so she was cross-legged again, then sighed, running her hands through her hair.  
“Can we just drop it? I don’t wanna think about it yet.”

Nate told a deep breath, nodding as he moved over beside her and dug another cigarette out to light.  
“What class you got next?”  
“Algebra.” She grimaced. “Like... Legit, who ever uses any of that crap.”

He nodded a moment before shifting to sit next to her.  
"You got a curfew?"  
“So long as I’m in before 10.30 no one gives a shit.” She shrugged.  
As she put the cigarette to her lips, she found herself leaning against him a little, liking how solid he felt against her shoulder.

“You wanna come to my house after? Promise to have you home on time..you can eat with me if you want that is…” He shrugged, glancing at her then after a moments hesitation put his arm around her shoulder.  
She froze when he did that, and it was dumb, because they’d already kissed, but this felt more… Intimate.  
Kissing was really only a precursor to sex, but putting his arm around her was almost affectionate.  
Audrey stole a glance at him, then relaxed a little, leaning in and resting her head on his shoulder.  
“I’d like that.” She said quietly.

Nate smiled and chewed his lip, tasting the blood again where his lip had reopened.  
It would more than likely just be him and her there, possibly his brother. Dad was out of town on business for the next month, mom was in and out so really it could just be them.  
He didn’t mind, at all, bringing someone home while they were there was pointless... she’d run before they even made it up the drive.  
“You like Chinese food? I can order for us..”  
“I’ve been known to eat Chinese food.” She chuckled, then turned a little, tipping head back as she put her free hand to his face, she kissed him slowly, smiling as she heard the bell ring.  
“Time to go sit in class and pretend I give a crap.”   
She pressed another kiss to his mouth, then stood up, taking one last drag before handing it back to him.  
\--------------------------------------------

She didn’t look out for him at lunchtime… He’d probably want to hang out with his friends, and she really didn’t feel like causing trouble. Besides… Just because they’d kissed and hung out, didn’t mean he considered them an actual THING, so she hung out in the back of the library, napping behind a stack of RE books.  
When school kicked out, she went out to the parking lot, raising her hand when she saw him leaned against his car.  
“Hey.” She smiled.

When he heard her voice he looked up from his phone, smiling wide. “Hey! Missed Ya at the spot during lunch.” He leaned forward, kissing her once, then twice before pulling back. “You too good for me now?” He joked.  
It was probably for the best that she hadn't come over.   
Drake was still pretty pissed off, and he really didn’t want to get into another fight with him.  
He'd come round eventually, he wasn’t one to hold anything against Nate for too long, and it wasn’t like him and Audrey were getting married or anything, ditching him altogether.  
“So, unless my brother comes home it’s just me and you..that ok?” He looked over at her as she sat in the passenger seat then smiled. “Don’t worry…Jeeves will keep me in line…” He joked.  
“Oh I’m absolutely too good for you.” She chuckled. “… And, yeah… Whatever. I don’t need a chaperone, you know I could kick your ass if I needed to.”  
She was kidding of course, he had to be at least 60lb heavier and certainly taller, but she was definitely capable of holding her own.  
Not that she thought she needed to.  
\------------------------------------------  
She was relieved when she saw his house wasn’t some monstrosity, in fact, it looked pretty modest if you weren’t the kind of person to notice the expensive trim around the door, the discreet, but tasteful art in the garden.  
She noticed it all though, she couldn’t help it.  
“Swanky.” She teased, getting out the car.  
Nate laughed, shaking his head as he got out and grabbed his pack from the back seat. “Yeah, swanky I guess covers it..though I wouldn’t be too impressed..don’t even have a pool.” He smirked, trying to make light of it.  
He didn’t quite think Audrey got just how much he DIDNT care about his money, only that it bought him food and weed and anything else he fancied at the time.  
“Cmon, I’ll show you around.” He took her hand and moved inside.  
“You don’t even have a pool!” She said with mock indignation, “I’m totally slumming it here.” She teased grinning as she took his hand.

The front door had a keypad that he had to punch a code in, and chuckling to himself as he got it wrong the first time, he opened it on the second, glad he hadn't embarrassed himself by messing it up three times and having to talk to a cop on the intercom.   
"My dad's big on home ssecurity." He shrugged.   
“No point me casing the joint then?” She laughed, waiting till he opened the door, then following him in.

“You can if you want…” he shrugged, really not giving a shit either way. “Kitchen…living…There’s a den and bar downstairs…”  
He pointed off in every direction as he walked through, tossing his shoes in a corner with a bunch of others then carried on through to the stairs.  
“There’s my parents room over there…I'm upstairs..” he explained, looking back at her to make sure she was following him as he went up.  
“I was kidding you know..” She said, following him up the stairs, a little worried that he thought she was serious about turning the place over, even if he didn’t seem to care.  
Sure she’d swiped the odd thing from stores, especially in the old days, but she drew the line at actual breaking and entering.

Audrey followed him up the stairs and into his room, pretty typical, just, bigger, an expensive laptop hidden under papers, better shoes but still kicked into a corner.  
“It’s nice… very.. mid 90′s teenage boy… I’m getting a Kurt Cobain vibe with a modern twist.” She teased, letting her bag fall from her shoulder and next to her feet.   
Nate smirked back at her when the entered and tossed his own bag to the corner carelessly.  
“What were you expecting?” He laughed, laying back on his bed, head propped up on his pillow. “I think it’s pretty standard teenage boy room…dirty laundry on the floor, skin mags under the bed..” he winked.  
“Actual skin mags? Like, really? …. How adorably retro of you.” She laughed, sitting down on the bed and bouncing slightly, as though testing it. 

She wondered what it was like to have this much privacy, personal space. It was half the reason why the homes she’d been in the last couple of years, were pretty laid back about being out. With two, sometimes three to a room, everyone needed to get away just to feel like they could breathe sometimes, and so long as the cops didn’t haul your ass back and you were in before the door was locked, you were golden.  
Audrey leaned back on her hands a little, smiling across at him.  
“So… Did you wanna make out? Or were we actually honestly gonna start with watching tv?” 

He raised an eyebrow, smiling back across at her. “Well...I mean I GUESS we could make out, I mean….we ARE alone…” He moved over next to her, running his finger along her jaw.  
“You’re not gonna take advantage of me are ya?” He chuckled, pressing a kiss to the corner of her mouth.  
She smiled, shaking her head a little, pressing a small kiss back to him.  
“Nope…. we’re just making out… but I swear… I’ll leave your honor intact.” She giggled, licking across her lower lip before pressing her mouth to his.   
He smiled just before they kissed properly, making it so that no matter what, his lips covered hers fully, putting his hands, one one either side of her lap and continued to push forward, slowly moving her back, first so she was just propped up on her elbows, then laying down completely, her arms going around his neck as they kissed on the bed.  
He didn’t lay over her, instead, he was off to her side, one hand up and moving through her hair and the other resting on her shoulder, sliding along her skin with his thumb.  
He kissed her deeper though, tongue flicking over hers and lips snatching her up the second they broke apart.

She kept waiting for him to slip up, to do something typical and expected so she’d be forced to roll her eyes and accept he was no different, but his mouth on hers felt perfect, never too hard or soft, his tongue pressing along the tip of hers, sometimes just rolling across hers, but never drifting into enthusiastic slobbering dog mode.  
Sometimes he pulled back slightly, as though pausing, then his lips would skirt over hers, hardly touching, before kissing her properly again, and he left her breathless.   
Nate pulled back a little, looking down at her a moment before risking a little more and kissing her jaw softly as he made his way to her neck and Audrey sighed softly as he did, her stomach flipping, skin prickling under his mouth. She was almost embarrassed when a soft moan slipped past her lips. 

He smiled, his lips moving slowly along her throat catching the slight vibration at the base.  
She tried hard to keep up her tough guy facade, even as they kissed she did her best to not melt under him but now he felt her start to relax as his lips made wet tracks down to her shoulder.

She felt tiny shivers go through her skin whenever he moved his mouth to a new spot, and she closed her eyes, tipping her head back a little to give him more to work over, but in the back of her mind she was getting ready to call time… to cool it off for a while.   
She wasn’t ready to sleep with him.  
She didn’t want him to be a handful of fucks, she was done with that, she wanted more, and if he wasn’t happy with that, she’d find it somewhere else.

As Nate kissed back to her lips he slid his hand up her shirt, slowly moving up and cupping her breast, his thumb moving over her nipple through the thin lace of her bra.  
She was soft, warm..and god did he want more.  
He was about to reach back and unhook her, when his phone went off, the harmony of ‘stairway to heaven’ blaring loudly from across the room making him groan and pull away.  
“I'm Sorry…one second, if I don't answer they call the cops…” he muttered and moved to answer the phone.  
“What?! - I'm home…hanging out! - what’s it matter? Yeah..I'm staying home tonight….Yeah, I’ll feed your damn lizard…” Nate rolled his eyes, turning back to Audrey and offered a small apologetic smile. “Well Where are you gonna be….Ok bye.”  
He hung up and ran his hands across his face before dropping them to the sides.  
“Well…now the moods ruined you wanna help me feed my brothers lizard?”

When the phone went, she held her breath, and for a second she wondered if he’d ignore it, but when he got up it was like some sensible part of her brain took control, and she sat up, running her hands through her hair and smoothing down her shirt.  
His mouth and his hands had felt so fucking good on her…. that wasn’t the plan... But shit, she wanted to.  
Ok… I got this… just.. hanging out, a little making out… no big deal.  
“What kind of lizard?” She asked, the corner of her mouth rising as they moved to the door. 

“Iguana..” he half smiled back at her as he led her down the long hall and opened the door to his brothers room, groaning at the smell. “Fucking disgusting Kyle….”  
There was a large wall length tank with heat lamps and all the setup for an iguana, only…there was no iguana in the tank.  
“Right…so..where does he keep the gloves in this disaster….” Nate mumbled, not seeming concerned over it.  
“Uhh… shouldn’t it be in the vivarium?” She frowned, recoiling slightly when she stepped on something and realized it was underwear.  
“So is Kyle your little brother?”   
Nate looked over and laughed, unearthing the box of plastic gloves and tossing a pair to her. “Yeah..by a whole year and a half…and it’s usually in his bed…” he nodded over, seeing the sheets shift.  
“He is a disgusting creature..” Nate grimaced, moving over to the bed and with an aha! Found the iguana. “Kyle….not Mr. wiggles here..” he picked him up, holding him along his arm.  
Audrey pulled on the gloves, and when Nate found the iguana, she gasped, pulling a pouty face.  
“Oooh! Look at youuu!” She crooned, bending slightly at the waist to get a better look at him. “You’re so pretty!…. what a handsome boy!!”   
“You wanna hold him while I get his food ready?” he asked, holding his arm out, shoving the lethargic lizard towards her.  
“Sure.” She grinned, pulling her shirt sleeves down so his claws didn’t scratch her, then took him from Nate.. letting him lay across her arm as she cradled it against her chest  
making little cooing noises at him, rubbing her finger along the top of his head while Nate was busy, genuinely pleased to be holding the lizard. 

Kyle kept the lizards meals in a small fridge by the Vivarium so all Nate had to do was pull the pre-packaged meals out and set it in its feed dish.  
“Let’s see what we have for Monday Mr. Wiggles…mmm, bananas and strawberries…and looks like some veggies too…yum yum..”  
He looked over after setting the good out and smiled at Audrey as she played with him.  
When Mr wiggles opened his mouth and slid his tongue out, Audrey did the same, making a blahh noise in the back of her throat, then laughing at him, glancing over at Nate and flushing a little.  
“Always wanted a pet.” She grinned, handing him back and pulling off the gloves. “Like.. a dog or something… You ever have a dog?”  
Nate lowered the lizard back into its habitat and stepped back as he watched it move over to the blob of food he’d placed in there.   
“Umm, no, I uh..I never got a pet..” He looked back to Audrey as he peeled his own gloves off and tossed them in the trash. “Wanted a cat forever but, Kyle’s allergic to pet dander or some shit so…he gets a fucking Iguana and I got nothing.” 

Moving from the room he took Audrey’s hand and lead her out, closing the door behind. “We should wash up..don’t want to get Salmonella.” He mabe a sick face then showed her to one of the bathrooms.   
In a way, he was glad his brother called when he did. Thing’s with Audrey were good, they actually had a connection unlike the other girls. They had things in common, and shared interests…it wasn't just a quick lay with her which was what it would have ended up as if they would have continued.   
He wasn't sure what her intentions were, she played the guarded off tough girl act pretty well, but she also had a softer, more playful side that he wanted to explore.

He kept touching her.  
She noticed that.  
Little intimate touches, almost like he didn’t want to spend too long without her in his space.  
There was no reason for him to take her hand leaving Kyles room, but he did, lacing his fingers with hers almost casually, then washing his hands with her at the same sink, their fingers touching as they soaped them up and ran them under the water, sharing a towel as they dried them off.  
They weren’t the kind of touches she was used to.  
It seemed her life was a constant of all or nothing, and she could go weeks without so much as someone putting a hand on her shoulder, which was probably why from time to time she’d weakened and slept with people she shouldn’t have in hindsight, like a five minute fuck in the back of a car or some sleazy frat guys dorm room could make up for it.

“Wanna eat? I can order…” Nate asked and wiped his hands on his pants of the rest of the water while Audrey used the towel. “Just tell me what you like and consider it ordered.”   
Audrey shrugged.  
“Whatever you get is fine. I don’t turn my nose up at anything.” She chuckled. “I dunno.. noodles or something?”  
“Noodles or something it is.” Nate grinned and pulled his phone out to call.  
They moved back to his room, Nate laying back in bed while he ordered what sounded like the whole menu, tracking Audrey with his Eyes.  
She wandered around the room a little as he ordered, glancing over with a frown then laughing softly when he just kept ordering dish after dish, finally sitting down on the end of the bed as he hung up.  
“You expecting like 30 other people to show up?” She gave him a half smile as she brought her legs up, crossing them in front of her.  
“No..just me and you..” He smiled, reaching over to take her hand and pulled her back so her head lay in his lap. “You underestimate how much food I can eat..plus I’ll eat some tomorrow too.” He shrugged, lifting his hand and running a finger through her hair.

Audrey laughed as he pulled her back, then settled against him, closing her eyes when he started to play with her hair.  
“You’re not what I expected.” She admitted after a while, liking the feeling of his fingers running through her hair.   
He looked down, shifting a litte under her as he settled back against the headboard.  
“What were you expecting?…” he asked, almost afraid to know exactly. He had a reputation, it wasn’t a secret who he was or Who he’d been with. Didn’t mean he liked it all that much.  
“I’m not sure… I mean… I guess I knew what your friends were like, they’re all open books… so I assumed you were the same. But you’re not.”  
She sighed a little, knowing she wasn’t making much sense. “I dunno… I just kind of feel you like hanging out with me… That doesn’t happen very often… It’s nice.”  
Great.  
Now she sounded pathetic.  
“It doesn’t matter.. forget it.”  
“I do like hanging out with you.” Nate shrugged, moving his index fingers across her forehead then down the bridge of her nose. “You aren’t annoying and bitch about your nails and makeup and shit…you smoke and can take a hit…you didn’t choke like you were drowning your fist bong hit..” he laughed, sitting up and looking down at her with a smile.  
“You’re cool.”  
She laughed richly, tipping her head back and looking up at him.  
“I’m cool?” She smiled, teasing him a little, and when his finger moved off the end of her nose, she pushed herself up, biting at it and holding it gently between her teeth, smiling as she chuckled.  
"Ow!" He whined, pouting and making a show of snatching his hand away.  
“Such a baby.” She rolled her eyes, but took hold of his wrist, pulling his hand back towards her and gently kissing his finger.  
“Better?”  
Nate smiled, grabbing her hand as she went to move away and pulled her up on his lap, placing his hands on her sides.  
“Getting there..might need some real kisses though…just to make sure.”  
Audrey laughed at him, shifting slightly on his lap so her knees were either side of his hips, then she slowly twined her arms around his neck.  
“Real kisses?” She grinned, tilting her head a little, just bumping her nose over his. “You need real kisses huh?”  
With a pouted smiled Nate nodded, having to look up as she was a little taller on his lap.  
“Mhm..I think so..lots, cause it really hurt..and I like kisses…”

Her gaze flickered up to his now, and even this close, his eyes looked dark enough to be almost black, like they were all pupil. She smiled, parting her lips a little as she did, and closed her eyes, pressed her mouth to his.   
Nate took a deep breath in when she’d kissed him, not intending on breaking from it unless the need was absolutely there to.  
He sat up more, pulling her on his lap fully so they were practically chest to chest as they kissed.  
Audrey’s arms wrapped tighter around his neck as they kissed, and she realized they had nearly full body contact, nearly all of her pressed to nearly all of him, so she could feel it when he took a breath, his ribs rising into hers, and for the first time, maybe ever she found herself relaxing fully against him, just enjoying his mouth on hers.

The small heat that grew between them earlier started up again as they kissed, Nates hands moved up her sides, holding to her shoulders and drawing her closer, soft sighs and moans slipped past his lips against hers as the kiss grew more heated.  
It wasn’t a secret he wanted her, his body reacted to hers like it should, his skin prickled, chest tightened..and the longer she was sat on him, slowly rolling her hips the harder he got.  
She felt him pressing up against her, and she couldn’t help pushing back down on him instinctively because he made her feel weak, needy, but she pulled back a little instead, resting her head against his as she felt his breath pant over her lips.  
“Food’ll be here soon.” She half smiled, taking a deep breath. 

Nate nodded, looking off at the time then back to her. His lips were parted, a small pant still over his lips and fuck did he want to just push her back and finish the job. She wouldn’t be disappointed and the hard on he had going wouldn’t be pressing uncomfortably on his zipper…  
No. He wanted this one to be different, he didn’t want her to just be a “thing” not this time, not her.  
“Yeah, better go watch for it I suppose..” He smiled, letting his head fall back to the headboard.

Audrey smiled at him, almost apologetically, but it was tinged with frustration because she wanted to just as much as he did.  
She excused herself and went down the hall to the bathroom, shutting the door behind her and sitting on the edge of the tub, running her hands through her hair.  
“You are absolutely not fucking him… not tonight…..” She hissed softly to herself.

Nate took the opportunity to calm himself down, standing and situating his pants so that he could at least breath again and it wasn’t AS apparent that he had a boner.  
He’d leave her be. The rest of the time she was here he’d be hands off. It was clear that it just wasn’t going to happen today, maybe never..but if he pushed it, he wouldn’t know.  
He heard the doorbell ring through the house and sighed, grabbing his phone and moving down to answer the door and pay.  
Saved by the bell again…  
Depending on what your idea of salvation was..  
\--------------------------------

“So… I don’t know what half these are…” Audrey said as she looked over all the cartons, holding one in her hands, digging into the noddles with chopsticks as they both sat at the kitchen island. “Whats that one again?” She asked, pointing at the nearest to her.  
Nate leaned over and looked, mumbling through a mouthful of lo mein. “Pork..n..tha ones beef…”  
He did order a lot, though he assumed his brother would come home sometime and be hungry and if he got hungry later there would be some left overs.  
“Those three are rice..and some chow mein..wontons, egg rolls…”

She leaned forwards and plucked a wonton up with her chopsticks, popping it in her mouth and chewing it, trying to keep her mouth shut and giggling around it.   
“Open your throat! You’ll fit it all in better if you just open your throat!” Nate laughed, watching as she struggled, her cheeks puffing out dramatically around the dough.  
“You’re gross…” She mumbled around her mouthful. “I’m not gonna deep throat fucking wontons.” She laughed, swallowing at last.  
Nate laughed loudly tipping back in his chair a bit before settling down and grabbing a box of beef.  
“Poor wontons, only want a little action…” he pouted cutely before shoving his mouth full.

Tucking one foot under her as she balanced on the stool, Audrey shook her head at him in mock exasperation, taking up noodles on her chopsticks and lifting them high, tipping her head back and sticking her tongue out to eat them.  
“You know you’re stupidly cute when you eat..right?” Nate chuckled, smiling as a few noodles spilled from her mouth.  
She frowned at him, feeling a blush creep across her cheeks.  
“Shut up..” She mumbled, stabbing at the noodles with her chopsticks again.  
He always seemed able to catch her off guard with shit like that, and feeling bashful just made her automatically act grouchy, throwing up a barrier as quickly as she could.  
But she glanced over to him again, feeling the corner of her mouth twitch up when she saw he was still smiling. 

“I’d like to see you try and make me shut up..” he chuckled, quietly challenging her. “I mean…I'm just going to keep talking and talking about nothing really…maybe it’ll be to say you’ve got rice on your shirt..or maybe that I like the way you wrap your lips around those chopsticks…you never know what’s gonna cone out of my mouth next.”  
She hated the fact that she automatically looked down to check her shirt.  
He was being a jerk.  
“You want me to shut you up?” She smiled slyly. “Slipping off her stool, moving fluidly over to him.  
When he smiled at her and nodded, she moved herself between his legs, looking him in the eye as she ran her hands up his thighs, watching the way his smile slipped a little, how his tongue poked out to moisten his lower lip.  
“You think I can shut you up?” She whispered, running her nose over his, then smiled. “Close your eyes Nate….”  
When he did, she softly pressed her lips to his, then reached across the island, picking up a spring roll and shoving it in his mouth, laughing when his eyes shot open, stepping back and jumping up and down, practically cackling. 

Nate glowered at her as he picked the food from his mouth and tossed it in the trash.  
“You bitch..” he laughed shortly, eyeing her as she jumped around then as she got close grabbed her round the waist and pulled her back on his lap. “Now you’re my hostage..”  
She squealed when he grabbed her, giggling when his arms went hard around her waist, looking down at him with a smile, and she bit her lip to quieten her laugh, then put her hands to his face, leaning in to kiss him.  
“Yes I’m a bitch.” She said softly, wrinkling her nose a little as she grinned. “I’m sorry though…. forgive me?”  
Nate narrowed his eyes, a slow smile spread across his face. “Oh..I suppose..” He chuckled, kissing her lips softly. “Since you’re so cute and you let me touch your boob..”   
She huffed a short laugh against his lips, kissing him back for a moment.  
“So… boobs DO get you out of trouble… Guess I should cash in on that more often… stop wearing hoddies, buy a push up bra? Look out world..” She teased, then sighed, pushing into another kiss, her tongue slipping past her lips to run along his.  
“Look out indeed..” He mumbled against her lips, his hands moving to her hips to draw her closer. 

As he pulled her into a deep kiss, she put her hand over his on her hip, curling her fingers around his wrist and moving his hand up her side, pressing it to her breast, pushing into his touch a little.  
Nate opened his eyes when he realized what she was doing, then took her lead, squeezing gently over her shirt.   
She gave an awful lot of mixed signals..one minute she’s making an excuse to stop and the next she’s moving his hands all over her. Not that he minded, not one bit..just he wished he could figure out what she wanted.   
Still, he moved his other hand up the back of her shirt, fingers brushing over her bra strap, waiting for any tell she wanted to stop again.   
Half of this she was doing automatically, not even realizing until she’d done it, but his hands moved so nicely over her, not grabbing, not pinching, just firmly stroking at her till she felt her hips moving slowly over him.  
She put her hands on his face as she kissed him, then pulled back a little.  
“Can I tell you something?” She whispered, biting down on a quiet moan that sat in the back of her throat as he ran his thumb over her.   
Nate huffed a laugh and nodded, keeping his eyes closed while she slid over him. “Talk all you want..” He kissed her again then twisted in her hands to kiss her wrist, reaching up and holding her hand in his hair.   
“I don’t want to sleep with you…” Audrey whispered, her hips still softly moving. “I don’t want to sleep with you, because, if I do, tomorrow, you’ll go to school, and you’ll high five your fucking friend and that’ll be it…”   
She kissed him again, deeper this time, feeling his breath hitch a little in his chest.  
“… but I DO want to sleep with you… and I want to pretend you won’t be an ass… that I won’t be disposable.”  
She pulled back a little her gaze flitting over his. “Am I stupid for thinking I might not be disposable to you?” 

When she pulled back Nate frowned up at her, licking out across his bottom lip as he caught his breath a little. He had to answer carefully, because if he didn’t, and he said the wrong thing…she would leave..and he didn’t want her to leave.   
“You don’t have to sleep with me..Audrey.” He cleared his throat, leaning back a little on the chair. “…But if you would like to, and I’m not arguing at all here, I can guarantee that you wont be just another notch on my bedpost…”   
He looked up at her, sobered a little now they’d stopped kissing. “That’s what you’re worried about right?..that you’ll just be another achievement?..”

She nodded softly when he asked her, her gaze locked on his, and she hoped her gut was right about him,, because if things went to shit at this school she’d just walk… And she’d only have to stay out of sight for a few months and then… no one would care anymore, not when she reached 18.  
But she didn’t want to do that. She wanted to finish high school at least.  
“Yeah… I’m worried.” She admitted, then gave him a half smile. “Pretty dumb huh?”   
“No..not really all that dumb..” Nate shrugged. “It’s a pretty standard fear dealing with me I suppose..”   
And right now, he hated how that sounded..but it was true. He wasn’t known for long relationships…if you could call them that.   
“Doesn’t mean I don’t want to change…” 

She smiled a little wider then leaned back a little to run her hands through her hair.   
“I’m a horrible person…” She half laughed, but there was a trace of something else in there, a little sadness maybe, resignation. “You don’t wanna change yourself for me…. I’m the girl your mom warned you about and your friends hate…” and her smile was a little pathetic, she felt it slip so bit down on her lip instead.  
-You’re a fucking mess Audrey, just leave.-  
“Do you want me to go? I can go…. “

Nate’s frown deepened as she slipped off his lap, making him stand with her.   
“No..shit, no I don’t want you to go….Audrey..will you stop?” He took her hand, holding it gently but preventing her from leaving him. “Look…maybe..maybe you feel like I’m rushing you, but really...I can wait, we can wait ok?..no need to mess what we’ve got up right?”   
He ducked to to catch her eye, smiling softly. “You ‘aint a horrible person..I’m not sure why you’d think that..but you’re not ok?”   
He didn’t think it was anything he’d done to make her react this way, but then again, maybe it was and he was just too stupid and blind to see it. 

Audrey was torn between staying and going.  
Sometimes she thought she confused sex with other things, used it like an emotion rather than the result of an emotion, and now she felt bad, like she’d been leading him on.  
If he’d insisted, if he’d really pushed the point, she probably would have given in, just to carry on spending time with him, and she hated herself for feeling like that, for being so desperate that she’d fuck someone just to feel like she meant something to them for a few minutes.  
But maybe he was different.  
Including Friday night, he’d let her pull away four times, which was four times more than anyone else ever had, and now he was stood here telling her he’d wait, holding her hand and gently pulling her back to him.  
She wondered what he’d thought when he first saw her.  
If he thought she’d be some easy lay, throw her a little jack, a little weed, she’d do tricks like a circus pony… and he wasn’t wrong, not really, but he was being so fucking nice to her, making her want to be around him.  
“I must be this, like, huge disappointment huh…” She half smiled, glancing up at him now. 

Nate shook his head, smiling a little. “Nah, not at all..you think you’re the first girl to turn me down?” He chuckled and turned to grab a napkin off the counter for her. He didn’t think that this whole upset was just over sex though, there was clearly something more going on that was bothering her. There had to be.   
When he handed her the napkin he smiled, more lopsided, a little sympathetically. “You wanna come outside and smoke with me?..We can bring the noodles..”

She laughed a little, blowing her nose on the napkin and shoving it in her pocket.  
“Yeah… I could smoke.” She nodded, picking up her noodles as he grabbed a carton of his own, and as he turned to her, she reached forwards, pressing a kiss to his mouth.  
“Thanks.” She smiled.  
“What for?” He smiled back, wrapping his arm over her shoulders as they made their way outside to the back porch and sat down.  
She looked across at him, moving a little closer so their thighs were touching.  
“.. for not being an ass… “  
Putting the noodles next to her, she took the smoke from his fingers when he lit one, taking a slow drag. “… you could have been a jerk so many times, and you haven’t.”   
“Must be something wrong with me..” he laughed and licked his lips, turning to light his own smoke and took a long drag off it as he stared out across the lawn.  
Mentally he was kicking himself because Yeah…any other girl and they’d be done already..they’d have fucked at Drake’s stupid party and he’d be looking for the next one..  
It was his plan with her, get her high, show her a good time..  
What wasn’t in the plan was developing feelings for her, he never expected her to be interesting.

“Well… I kinda like you with something wrong with you.” She said, looking across at his profile and smiling, half laughing before biting down on it, then looking away again, flicking ash her feet as they looked across the lawn.  
“You’re pretty cool yourself, you know?” She teased, smiling off into the distance.  
Nate smiled, glancing over at her with a chuckle. “You think so? Not just cuz I got a marb red pinched between my fingers and got myself a fancy car?”  
“Your car ain’t that fancy..” She teased, looking back over at him and smiling when he pouted.  
His arm was still around her shoulders, and she moved in closer, resting her head on him as they smoked.  
Nate laughed and shook his head, his hair flopping around a little. “Nah, you’re right…it’s not. But it’s mine, and I haven’t gotten into a wreck yet so those are bonus points.”  
He hugged her tighter then, with a sigh, kissed the side of her head.  
She matched his sigh, closing her eyes as he pressed his lips to her head, and it was such a simple form of affection, but it made her chest tighten, and her mouth curl up into a tiny smile.  
“Tough guy.” She whispered, chuckling softly as she took another drag.   
Nate just smiled.  
The dynamics were continuously changing between them, and he didn’t know whether that was a good or bad thing.  
On the on hand, she was still there…on the other…he didn’t even know what they were or if they were anything. He didn’t dare ask.

“I should probably go soon.” She sighed. “I can’t be late… Tryin’a keep a low profile at the moment.”  
She didn’t want to go, she wanted to stay here and hang out with him, she wanted more of this, she wanted to keep going until she felt good about sleeping with him, but that wasn’t for today.  
“Alright.” Nate nodded, lifting the last bit of life the smoke had to his lips and took it all in one drag. “I can drive Ya back..”  
In his mind he knew that it was best she go back, at Least for today..too much had been risked, things said…best just to leave it for the day.  
He didn’t try to persuade her to stay, and she didn’t know yet if that was a good thing or not.  
She tried to tell herself it was good, because right now, if he’d turned on the charm, talked to her just right, she would have stayed, but instead, he stood up, offering his hand to help her up, and after dumping their cartons and grabbing her bag, they made their way put to the car.  
\---------------------------------------

“You’re gonna have to tell me where I’m headed.” He smiled over at her as he started driving back into town. He knew vaguely based on her usual drop off at the store but still, he thought to ask.  
Audrey hesitated, then shrugged, as though deciding it didn’t really matter anymore.  
“Take a left off 3rd.” She said, then directed him to the neighborhood, run down, boarded up stores lining one side of it, and just across from where he parked, the ugly, narrow brick building she shared with Twelve other kids and 24 hour social workers.  
There were grills on the windows, an intercom and key pad to get in, graffiti all across the walls.   
“My home.” She gestured grandly, then turned to look at him. “Thanks for driving me back.”

When he pulled up along the curb Nate frowned at the building and for a second he thought she had to be kidding, but when he looked at her and saw the embarrassed smile she tossed him he nodded.  
It looked more like a homeless shelter or a halfway house rather than a foster home and he honestly felt like shit about it. She wasn’t someone’s ward or welfare check…she really had nothing and no one.

“Nah it’s cool, hate to have you walk again, I mean..you ever need rides I’m available..” He smiled at her then took her hand, just running his thumb across hers a minute before leaning over to kiss her. “Can I pick you up tomorrow?”

She’d never let anyone within a mile of any of the places she’d stayed, he was the first to actually take her all the way home. Usually, she had any ride drop her off somewhere else then walked back but it felt like there was no point in hiding it from Nate.  
Either he’d be cool with it, or he wouldn’t, and there wasn’t much she could do about it. Even so, she was half surprised when he took her hand, goose bumps rising up her arm when he ran his thumb over hers.  
She pressed into the kiss, and when he pulled back a little to ask if he could pick her up, she smiled, and for once, it felt like it fit. It felt genuine.   
“Ok…” She whispered, then leaned closer, putting one hand on the back of his neck, her fingers curling into his hair as she kissed him deeply, but quick, then nodded to herself, moving to get out the car.  
Before she shut the door, she bent back down to smile at him again.  
“Thanks for dinner….. and … uh… say Hi to Mr Wiggles for me.” She laughed, then closed the door, looking both ways before crossing the street and punching in the numbers to unlock the door.  
She turned before going in, seeing him still watching, and raised her hand in a small wave, before slipping inside.

“Ha, will do..bye audrey..” He chuckled just before she slipped from the car and when she waved he waved back, stupidly after she’d already disappeared through the door.  
He felt a warmth move through him when she agreed to let him pick her up and at that moment he forgot about how she lived, who she was. It didn’t matter really, she had nothing and he could have whatever he asked for.  
It was cliche boy meets girl, boy falls for girl, girl is way out of boys league…only the roles were switched, and no doubt she felt like she was so much less than him. But he didn’t think of it like that. Not like he asked for his dad to be who he was or do what he did.  
He didn’t want to think about it. Not anymore, not when it was nothing my speculation and it was with a heavy heart that he pulled away and headed back for home.  
Tomorrow. He’d see her tomorrow.


	5. Still roguishly handsome

Audrey waited for him then next morning, leaning up against the wall, trying to ignore the voice in her head that said he wouldn’t really come, not after how she’d been… But she waited anyway, figuring if he didn’t show, she’d head down the hill, hang out in town for the day and skip school.  
But he did show, swinging his car round the corner and drawing up at the curb.

Lifting her sunglasses, she gave him a mock-irritated glare.  
“You’re late…. I should fire you as my driver…”  
“Sorry..” He smiled through the passenger side window as he leaned across and pushed the door open for her. “I overslept, up late watching lesbian porn.” He winked, flicking his ash out the window and returning his smoke to his lips before pulling away from the curb as she was seated.  
“Someone left me bothered yesterday..” He shot her a playful look then laughed. “You wish I was joking…”  
“What you and your right hand get up to is none of my business…” She said airily, lighting up a cigarette now they were round the corner away from prying eyes. “Although I hear sex with someone you love is an amazing thing…. so how was it?” She chuckled, then turned her head to look at him, resting it back on the headrest.   
“… and I’m sorry I left you bothered… worth it for the lesbian porn though huh?”  
“Not entirely as satisfying as I’d hoped but what can Ya do about it.” He shrugged, glancing at her again before sighing. “And don’t worry about it, I’m a big boy..I can deal.”  
He constantly had to keep reminding himself that it would be worth the wait, that the chase was half the excitement.  
“Besides…me and my hand had a good cuddle and smoke afterwards.”  
She laughed at that then reached across, taking his right hand off the wheel and kissing the palm with a grin.  
“There…. Now I’m involved too."  
Nate laughed richly, giving her a look. “Best sex ever.” He winked.  
“I’m so talented.” She pouted, laughing as she looked forwards again.

It was easy to slip back into her usual patter relax against the car seat and act how she normally did.  
He’d caught her off guard last night, that was all, she wasn’t used to it.

He kept his comment to himself, just smiling at her.  
Soon enough the were pulling into the school lot and parked and just sat there a moment.  
“Can believe it’s only fucking Tuesday…” he sighed and reached up to press the heels of his hands to his eyes. “Fuck…gonna need a lot of strength to make it through this week..”  
She half smiled in response feeling it slip as she glanced out the window and saw Drake and a couple of other people leaning up against his car.  
“You want me to wait till everyone’s gone?” She asked, thinking he maybe should have just dropped her off on the way in. She didn’t want to cause an argument or embarrass him.

Nate ducked and looked through the window, noticing Drake lock eyes with him for a second, meaning he wanted to talk.  
“Nah, he’ll be cool…still hurting from this weekend so his dick’s pretty small.” Nate laughed and got out, grabbing his pack from the back seat.  
“Cmon, you’re my gal right? You belong with me not on the fucking sideline.”  
She blinked a little when he said that, but he’d already got out and shut the door.  
His girl.  
Stop it. That mean voice in her head warned. Just fucking stop it.  
She got out, slinging her pack over her shoulder and went with him, staying a little behind, not sure where he wanted her.

Looking over his shoulder Nate fell back, taking her hand in his as they walked up to the group of guys.  
He knew he'd catch shit for it, but he didn’t feel draping his arm around her shoulder was right. Not for her. it seemed to possessive.  
“Hey.” He nodded to Drake. “How’s the face.”  
“Still roguishly handsome… now with added danger…” He laughed.  
The dressing was off, the bruising pretty much gone, but there was a definite lump on the bridge of his nose.   
Drake pointedly ignore Audrey, he wasn’t nasty, he didn’t shoot her dirty looks, just simply pretended she wasn’t even there.  
“The parents are away tonight till tomorrow afternoon… we’re crashing at mine.. You coming?”   
“Always so modest.” Nate smirked then shrugged. “I don’t know, I’ll have to see..you’re not going to get pissed drunk again? If you are it’s a no.”  
He didn’t want another argument, certainly didn’t need him trash talking Audrey. He’d walk if there was.

“Nah man… strictly smoking…. haven’t even got any blow in.” He shrugged, feigning indifference. “Just… whatever… Pizza’s coming at eight so if you’re not there you’re not getting.”  
He did look at her then, smiling.  
But it wasn’t friendly, it was the kind of smile that only needed a wrinkle of the nose to turn into a snarl.  
She tightened her fingers through Nates, meeting Drakes gaze with her own impassive one, belying the fact he made her skin crawl. 

“Might drop by later, like I said..well see..” Nate narrowed his eyes squeezing her hand back then smiling. “I’ll text you with a definite answer..”  
He could tell she wanted to move on so he cut it short. “Catch Ya fourth period.” He nodded and started towards the school.  
He watched them all the way to the door, she could feel his stare boring into her back, but she didn’t turn round, only straightened her back and walked a little taller.  
“I can get the bus back this afternoon.” She said finally. “I’m the other side of town to him so it’s fine…”  
Looking to her he shook his head, then noticing Drake still watching he put his hands to her face and bent to kiss her deeply.  
“There’s no way…I'm letting you ride …the bus..” he breathed between kisses, pulling back with a smile as she licked the thin layer of saliva off her bottom lip. “No way..”

She was surprised by the first kiss, but pressed up into the second, smiling as she flushed a little, dragging her lower lip through her teeth when he pulled back.   
Drake still glared, but it was more in disgusted at the public way he was being slighted, and as they turned to go inside, she pushed her arm around Nates back, pushing up against his side so he had to put his arm over her shoulder.  
Fuck it.  
“Ok… well, I’ll let you drive me then..” She teased, leaning up as they walked to press a quick kiss to his mouth.  
Smirking, Nate hugged her close and pressed another kiss to her cheek before parting ways.  
“Catch ya at lunch?”  
She nodded, promising to meet him in the actual cafeteria this time, because, she supposed, eventually, he wouldn’t be able to go through whole days just on smokes like she would, and she let his hand slip from hers as they parted, and went almost willingly to class.   
\-------------------------------------------------------------------

At lunch, Nate waited for her just outside the cafeteria, his hands in his pockets and a slight scowl on his face. But when he saw her make her way over to him his expression lifted into a smile.   
“Hey you..miss me?” He chuckled, kissing her.   
“Well… I’d say yes… but if you told anyone, I’d have to not only deny it but kill you.” She grinned, tilting her head back to meet his kiss. “We can go smoke after you eat, right?” She chuckled, taking his hand as they went in.  
“Yeah, plan to.” He nodded, frowning again though when she said you instead of we.   
“Even brought a little something extra today.” He smiled, kissing her again then moving into the crowded lunch room with her, realizing quickly why he usually just grabbed something from a fast food instead. 

She hadn’t been in a school lunch room for… well.. probably years, and hadn’t even set foot inside this one yet, so while she stood with him, edging their way down the line, she casually glanced around, moving on with him when he paid, and sitting down at a free table, smiling when he sat next to her.  
“Right. So we’ve got stale cardboard pizza, milk in a carton, annnd oh, I think this is supposed to be a bread stick.” He laughed, picking up the flimsy pizza then tossed it down to the plate. “Our tax dollars hard at work.”   
He’d made her grab a plate and some food, insisting on paying and that it really wasn't a bit deal.  
“….but you make it sound so appetizing!” She snorted, picking it up and eating it anyway, with maybe more gusto than her scorn suggested she would.   
Halfway through she looked up to see him watching her. “What?” She frowned, her mouth still full.   
He looked down quickly and smiled. “Nothin’, just thinkin’ “ He chuckled, lifting up and taking a huge bite of the pizza, chewing slowly. 

She swallowed, pulling a home filled bottle of water from her bag… no way she was touching milk… and took a long swig, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand.  
“Just thinking huh?… what about?” She smiled slyly. “was it about homework?…. or pushing up your grade average in English?… Don’t forget you’re lucky to be in this fiiiine institute of learning young man.” She teased, picking up the pizza crust and taking a bite.  
He smirked and shook his head, chuckling softly as he leaned back and put his hands behind his head to stretch.   
“I was actually thinking that I like your hair like that, can actually see your cute face.”

Audrey paused mid chew, feeling her ears grow warm.  
“You sound like Silvia…” She said, putting the rest of the pizza down. “Audrey…. you should pull back your hair, you got such a pretty face… “ She mimicked the social workers Spanish accent perfectly.  
She shrugged. “I look like my mom when I pull my hair back… and she’s one bitch you wouldn’t want to mess with.” She smiled wide at him, but she knew all she’d done was take a casual compliment and turn it into something shitty.  
“I need a smoke.” She mumbled, standing up and grabbing the tray to dump on the way out.

Nate blew out a long breath and followed her. He’d only wanted her to know he thought she looked good, no harm in it yet he caught the tone in her voice and in his mind, regretted even saying anything.   
He pulled out a couple cigarettes out of his pocket as they walked out across the football field to the bleachers and took up their usual spot, him leaning on the wall and sliding down to sit before pulling his backpack over and digging out his pipe.   
“You want a hit?” He looked at her as he took his own, sucking back quickly and closed his eyes as he let it sit in his lungs. 

Audrey watched him as he sat down, then waited till he’d exhaled before moving over to him, putting one leg over him and sitting down on his lap facing him.  
She put her hands to his face and sighed, pressing in to kiss him softly, tasting smoke on his lips, still lingering in his mouth.  
“I’m sorry.” She whispered. “I told you I was horrible… I didn’t mean to do that, you were just trying to be nice.”   
She kissed him again, hoping he’d do something, put his arms around her put a hand in her hair, anything to show her he was ok with it.

He’d had his eyes closed when she moved over him, opening them when she kissed him, a soft pleased sigh slipping across his lips as she did and he automatically moved his arm up around her back, drawing her back to his lips and kissing her deeper.   
“Forget it..really. I probably deserve it..” He chuckled, kissing her again, feeling his head get lighter, his hand between her shoulder blades pressing against her more.   
“No… No, you didn’t." she sighed, then pulled back, pressing their noses together gently as she smiled.  
“So… you really think I looked cute?” She asked, chuckling softly, pressing tiny kisses along his lips.   
He nodded, pushing harder into her kisses, flicking his tongue out over hers as he took slow even breaths. “Very cute..”  
“You’re very cute..” She countered with a smile, then let it fall as she kissed him properly, licking out across his tongue when he pushed it to hers.

He smiled, reaching up to take her face in his other hand, curling his fingers in her hair.   
Right now, he just wanted to touch her, to feel her pressed on him, her lips on his and craved the heat that would come with it. The feel of her soft and pliant under him, to hold her tight….  
He had to stop thinking about it, had to keep himself under control but just she made it hard, literally, with the way she kissed him, the way she moved over him and shoved her hand in his hair. He wanted her, all of her..soon. 

When the sound of the bell drifted across to them, she pulled back, panting softly over his lips, her head light from kissing so long.  
She hadn’t even had her smoke.  
She didn’t want to stop, she was almost shaking with her need to not stop, but when she licked out over her lower lip, all she could say was. “Thats the bell…”   
“Skip..” He panted, reaching up to kiss her again then huffed when she pulled back a little. “Just skip..stay with me..”   
He was almost pleading her to, just to skip and stay like this, or move on or just smoke, he didn’t care..as long as she was with him. It was selfish, and rude, but he wanted her.  
As second warning when off he sighed, tipping his head back with a chuckle. “Right..”   
Audrey looked down at him, then reached across, stroking his hair back a little as she looked at him seriously.  
“Are you going to Drakes tonight?” She asked softly.   
He swallowed, breathing shakily and closing his eyes. He honestly didn’t know.   
“I might, if I don’t have better plans..you got plans? We should make plans..” He chuckled, opening his eyes to watch her as she hovered over him.   
“I could have plans..” Audrey smiled, then bit softly on her lip. “Will your parents be home this afternoon?” She asked, running her fingers through his hair slowly.  
“No.” He shook his head quickly, “No..dads out for the week and my moms god knows where on some trip or whatever..brother might be but he’ll stay in his room..”   
He licked his lips, closing his eyes again as her nails drug across his scalp. 

When he closed his eyes, she leaned forwards to kiss him again.  
“Looks like I have plans then.” She smiled, then stood up, moving away and picking up her pack. “I'll see you after school.” 

When she ran off towards the school Nate groaned and closed his eyes again, his arousal quite apparent now she’d left his lap cold.   
“Fuck..Nate..What have you gotten yourself into..” He laughed quietly to himself, taking a deep breath then grabbing up his pipe to take another hit. Maybe he could calm down before next class.   
There wasn't even the promise of anything after school..nothing was set..but judging by her actions..something might.  
\-------------------------------------

She thought after, that she would have been as well to skip last period anyway, she couldn’t concentrate enough to learn anything, and when the last bell rang, she was already half rising out of her seat making her way towards the door while it still echoed around the halls.

He was waiting at the car, and as he saw her coming, got in the drivers side, waiting for her to get in before starting it up.  
As he put his hands on the wheel, she leaned across and kissed him, feeling herself get hot, as though they hadn’t actually stopped, then moved back to let him drive.  
He glanced over at her and licked his lips, noting her warm colored cheeks then turned back to the road, finding himself driving just a bit over the speed limit, a bit eager to get to his house if he was honest, looking at her constantly as he drove, thinking to himself that he didn’t know if he could handle another night like last, the constant build up then pull away..not tonight. 

When he parked he turned it off then looked over at her, smiling a little before leaning to kiss her, hot and open mouthed and she brought her hands up, pushing her fingers into his hair as she sighed over his lips, each kiss more forceful than the last, until she finally pulled back, lips parted, eye’s hooded as she stared at him, then smiled.  
“You gonna invite me in?”   
Nate nodded, leaning over and taking her head in his hand, fingers thrust through her hair as he pulled her to his lips, his tongue moving hard over hers.  
He pulled back, his breath huffing over her lips hotly.  
“You..” he swallowed, composing himself, “you gonna come in or what…” He chuckled, eyes flickering over hers as a small smile moved across his face.  
He couldn’t help but see the lusty need in her own eyes, mirroring his own.

“Yeah…” She whispered, a slow smile spreading across her face as he looked at her, then pulled away, moving swiftly from the car as he did, following him to the door and pulling him into another kiss as he tried to unlock it, suddenly greedy for him, any doubts she’d had before, melting away the more they kissed.  
Perhaps it had been the way he’d stood her with him in front of Drake, how he hadn’t cared what his friends thought, that tipped her.  
If she’d just come in on the bus, only seen him under the bleachers, she wouldn’t have felt the same, but his insistence in driving her, walking right up to Drake, and then having lunch with her, it was like he’d done his best to make her see he wasn’t about to fuck her over.  
God she hoped he wasn’t.  
She was lost in him right now though, and the voice in her head was silenced, muffled by want. 

He had to punch in the code twice before he got it right, thankfully, another attempt and the cops would have shown up ready for arrest and he was not about to go through that hassle, not when he had her here, not with her lips and body pressed hard to his own.   
Shoving the door open and spilling inside they kissed still, shoes kicked off where they walked and once they reached the stairs Nate lifted her round the ass and pulled her up in his arms, holding her against the wall a moment until he could gather the momentum to carry her up.   
She wasn’t heavy, it was just awkward and by the time he made it up he had to push her against the wall again, his kisses hard and fast still. 

She huffed against his mouth when he picked her up, wrapping her arms and legs around him, and if she’d not been so fully immersed in the moment she would have worried about him dropping her, but as it was, she just held him tight, mouth working fast and heavy against his, so that by the time he had her pressed to the wall upstairs, she was panting as hard as he was.   
He carried her the rest of the way down the long hall, kicked his bedroom door open and moved her to his bed, kissing her hard and laying pressed over her with his hands in her hair, lips moving down her jaw to her neck and sucking slowly as she tipped back for him. 

“Gotta get the door..take your shirt off..” He breathed before pulling away and without taking his eyes off her as she slipped from her hoodie, then the tshirt she wore, went to shut the door, flipping the lock.   
“Fuckk..” He chuckled, moving back over, sitting over her lap with one leg on either side as he moved her so she lay down, his hands roaming along her stomach and chest.   
She watched his eyes widen when she shed her shirt, leaving her bra on for the moment, and when he came back to her, his whole demeanor had changed, the frantic pace from moments before calmed a little as he gently pushed her onto her back, his hands stroking along her sides as he looked down at her.   
Slowly, she raised her hands over her head, arching her back off the bed a little as his fingers moved across her ribs.

His hands were large on her small frame, his fingers bumping over every single one of her ribs. She was thin, undoubtedly because he doubted they had too great of meals where she was staying…  
The thought strayed from his mind as he lowered his lips to her neck, pressing a long kiss over her pulse line then moved them down across her chest, leaving a wet trail of soft teeth marks in his tongues wake.  
His hands moved down, sliding her jeans off and moving his hand between her legs, fingers pressing to her heat and slowly running them along. Her panties were damp and it made him grow harder to know she wanted him, wanted this just as much.

She watched his thoughts play out over his face, he didn’t hide things like she did.  
He didn’t have to, but she grew self-conscious when he hesitated over her ribs, her hands moving down to push his off, but he was already passed them, his head bent to kiss across her skin, making her sigh, and when he pressed his fingers to her, she couldn’t help but moan.

At her moan Nate moved his lips up to her throat, kissing open-mouthed and running his tongue along to feel the soft vibrations from another low whine as his fingers slide solidly over her hood.  
He gave her plenty of option to ask him to stop if she needed, she could move away, grab her clothes and leave. He wouldn’t be happy about it, but he wouldn’t force anything on her.  
She was fucking hot like this, slack jawed, eyes closed, soft…so soft under him as he manipulated her body, making sure she felt every bit of pleasure he could give her.  
When his mouth went to her throat she brought her hands up to hook under his shirt, pulling it up his body until he finally reached back and yanked it over his head, hardly moving his mouth off her skin.  
Her fingers ran back down his sides, stroking at his skin, feeling his muscles tense and relax under her touch.  
His hand pressed against her made her hips rock up slightly, and as his mouth became more insistent over her jaw, she slowly pushed her hand between them pressing the heel of it to his hardness. 

His skin came alive when she ran her fingers down his side, along his back, every dormant nerve twitching. When she touched him he groaned, pressing himself against her hand and huffing against her neck with a lazy smile.  
Her other hand moved up to start undoing his jeans, her mouth finding his again, kissing him with long, slow movements, open mouthed, her tongue flicking against his.   
She slipped her hand in his jeans and ran it down his cock, making him groan, edged with a soft whine.  
It had been what..a month? Maybe two since his last fuck?…he was well overdue in his opinion.

He kissed her hard and fast again, showing his intent as he moved down hard over her hand.  
For a moment they stayed that way hands against each other, kissing hard, desperately, until at last, he pulled back to kick off his jeans, and as he did, she sat up, reaching behind her to unhook her bra.   
He simply sat there and watched as she tossed it to the side, sizing her up and licking out along his bottom lip as if he couldn’t decide where to put his mouth first.  
She was gorgeous, not that the fact made him swayed either way, but still it was nice to sit back and admire her as he ran his hand up her stomach and between her breasts before moving over on, his thumb bumping over her nipple just before giving her a firm squeeze and bending down over her, pressed his lips to it, tongue flicking out.

Audrey whined softly as he mouthed over her chest, her hands moving into his hair, stroking across his head.  
She could feel him nudging up against her, and in a moment of clarity, she half pushed back, meeting his gaze as he looked up at her.  
“Protection?” She asked hopefully.  
He looked up at her, nodded quickly then moved away, to his dresser and lifted a pile of his boxers to grab out a condom.  
He wasn’t opposed to wearing them, but he just assumed she was on something like the others.

Bringing it over he tossed it aside, then nudged her knees apart, pulling off her panties and going down to kiss along the inside of her thighs, working his way down until his lips grazed her clit and tongue flicked out to run flat over it.

She hadn’t expected that.  
No one had ever gone down on her before. Why would they?  
And as he pressed his mouth to her, she gasped loudly, hips jerking up so he had to catch them, push her gently against the bed, and fuck…. but his tongue was hot and slick and moved against her so neatly that she couldn’t quiet the moans that slipped past her lips.

God he loved it when girls got vocal, love drawing soft moans from them, loved it even more when they cried out and said his name. It boosted his ego, make him glow.  
“..like that?..” He breathed over her, his lips tickling over her as he spoke then returned his tongue to her, gently sucking at her and moving his tongue fast.  
She couldn’t answer him, could only writhe against his mouth, her fingers thrust in his hair, curling up into fists, and she suddenly realized, with a burst of heat across her chest, that he was going to make her come like this.  
Someone else was going to make her come, and she could hardly believe it. 

“Course Ya do..” He answered for her then, opening his mouth wide and ran his tongue over all of her, tasting her sweet slick, letting off his own shallow moan in the back of his throat.  
He hooked his arm behind her ass, tipping her up harder to his mouth, preventing her from moving as she came and fuck was he right..she sounded so perfect.  
If he hadn’t held her down, she would have pushed herself all the way up the bed as her heels dug into the mattress. She let go of his hair, hands hovering over his head as she arched her back more, crying out loud and slapping her hands over her mouth, eyes wide when he looked up at her, then through her breathlessness, she started to giggle. 

Finishing up on her, Nate moved up and laughed softly, pressing his mouth to hers, licking out over her lips so she had no choice but to taste how sweet she was, before he shoved his shorts down the rest of the way and took himself in hand, stroking once or twice to get himself back up then grabbed for the condom, and pulled away to rip it open with his teeth.  
Of course she loved it, no one was ever disappointed in his oral.

She moaned when he kissed her, saturating her senses in sex, and when he pulled away she whined softly, her cheeks still flushed, mouth soft, she let one hand rest up by her head, the other on her chest as she watched him get ready.   
He kneeled back as he looked down, rolling the condom on and made sure it was tight, set properly because a slip up wasn’t in his plans…not now, not ever.  
Looking back to her he ran his fingers back over her, making her groan and slid two in, moving them as he lay over her and waiting until she was good and wet again before taking hold of her hip and thrusting in.

Audrey gasped loud when he pushed into her, not because he hurt her, but because she was still so deliciously sensitive, felt tight around him as he settled, waiting a moment, and she pressed her forehead to his, taking a shaky breath, her hands moving to his face, running her thumb across his lower lip before tilting her head to kiss him, her hips rolling up to start moving.  
Nate let out a grunt as he pressed all the way in, stilling deep inside before moving in short slow thrusts, huffing against her lips before kissing her hard, a hand moving into her hair, grasping.  
His body covered hers almost completely, he pinned her down between his hips and his hands, as though he wanted to smother her, and she pressed up into him, kissing him hard, her moans muffled against his mouth.  
With his other hand he held her hip tight, pulling her on him firmly, fucking into her hard now as he felt himself swell in her, getting dangerously close to coming.  
He held her head down, kissing her lips, sucking on her tongue and biting the tip as he moaned and grunted.  
He was keeping her body in that plateaued state after orgasm, where it felt like she was still just there, just after the point of coming, and when she felt him push harder, swell inside her, she whimpered against his lips, moving her mouth off his to pant his name across his cheek.   
And there it was, that tipping point where he just couldn’t hold back any longer, and with a long moan he let go, mouth hung open against her jaw as he gave his final thrusts, just drawing himself out for as long as he could handle before laying heavy over her.

She lay under him, his body slightly damp against hers, but so warm, and for a while she just lay with her eyes closed, waiting for her heart to slow, her mouth pressed to his shoulder, kissing it from time to time, then she sighed and wiggled.  
“You’re squishing me.” She chuckled.  
With a soft chuckle and a groan Nate pulled from her and rolled off to the side, turning his head to look at her, a dumb grin on his face as he looked her over.  
“That was so worth the wait..” He laughed, rolling back to pull her back to his lips, kissing her softly, playfully now, still grinning.  
Audrey laughed, putting her arms around him as he pulled her to him again, smiling as they kissed.  
“Mm… ya think?” She chuckled, nestling against him, and when he drew her close, her chest swelled at the fact he wanted to keep her against him, was still touching, stroking, kissing her with that dumb grin on his face.  
“Hey..” She whispered, biting down on her lip a little as she looked into his eyes, their noses pressed softly together. “No one ever went down on me before…”  
“What!? No way…” Nate pulled back in surprise and frowned. “Never?…fuck why not? You’re pussy tastes so…fucking…good..” He kissed between each word, his hand on the back of her neck. “I could get used to that taste..”

She laughed with every kiss he pressed to her, and she could still taste herself on his lips, making her squirm a little. She decided not to share the fact that asides from him, she was the only other person to make her come, that might sound just a little pathetic.  
Pressing her hands under his jaw, she kissed him a little deeper, then sighed, humming into a smile.  
“I could get used to it too..”   
He closed his eyes, just smiling and resting his head against hers.  
“Fuck..” he chuckled and kissed her harder.  
Audrey laughed, finding it hard to kiss while they were both smiling so much, and when he pulled away slightly, his head still pressed to hers, she wrinkled her nose, kissing him quick and said “What?”  
“Just lookin' at you…all glowy and shit.” He chuckled, biting her lip gently. “Fuck…”  
“Glowy?” She chuckled when he let go of her lip. “Mmm… I feel glowy…. you look glowy… we did a glowy thing…” She laughed, snuggling closer and reaching up to stroke his hair, pressing small kisses to his lips. 

He was perfectly content to just lay here with her, kissing, cuddling..basking in the after sex bliss.  
“We should smoke…I feel like a smoke, but I wanna lay here some more first.”  
“No smoking in the house huh?” She smiled, running her fingers over his shoulder. “Perfectly ok to bring me over here to fuck though… but no smoking allowed…” She chuckled softly, then nestled her nose into the crook of his neck sleepily.  
“I toke up in here, but no regular smokes..” He chuckled, hugging her tight to his chest and taking a deep breath in.  
“I can wait.” She sighed happily, just enjoying the feel of his arms around her, the way she could feel the thud of his heart through his chest, the way his pulse moved under her lips where they rested against his neck.  
He hoped she wouldn’t think this was a one time deal, that he’d gotten what he wanted and now he’d be done with her like the others.  
He genuinely liked her, and if he was honest, considered asking her out..if they weren’t already dating. He wasn’t sure.

“Don’t let me sleep.” She mumbled, feeling like she was halfway there already. “If I get in late my ass is toast.”  
He nodded and kissed her forehead. “Five more minutes…then off for a smoke..and I’ll take you back..Ok?”  
“Ok…” She whispered, pushing into his kiss and settling back down, falling asleep anyway.


	6. You smell like sex

(Drake)Ordering pizza in like 20 minutes  
Nate looked at Audrey then back to his phone, sighing as he messaged back

(N) Im ther, gve me lke..a hlf hr  
(N0pzza 4 me. Ill pay

She had to go home anyways, and it wasn’t like he was going to run and brag or tell all the nasty details..just hang out

(D) Hurry up. Wades so fucking stoned, he’d eat yours if you don’t get here in time>  
\-----------------------------------

Audrey dressed slowly, feeling a little self-conscious now.  
The adrenaline from before had vanished with her nap, the afterglow as gone, and now they dressed quietly, ready to take her home, and fuck, she tried to shut up the nagging doubt that he wasn’t any different, that he was only slightly more patient than the rest, but she guessed it would keep going till she was sure  
“Sorry I gotta bail…” She said quietly, pulling her shirt back on  
Before she could, Nate sat behind her and slowly kissed across her shoulders and around to her neck, sighing when she pulled her shirt over  
“Its cool, gotta do it right?..” 

She nodded, then looked over her shoulder at him, giving him a small smile then, after a seconds hesitation, she put her hand to his face and kissed him gently, lingering over his lower lip, and felt her stomach flutter in response  
He smiled softly against her lips then moved his own hand to the side of her head and kissed her again, their lips just brushing together before making full contact.  
Turning fully, she moved her hands to the back of his head and pressed into the kiss, feeling his breath puff softly across her cheek  
Maybe it would be ok after all  
“I wish I didn’t have to go.” she sighed  
“I wish you didn’t either, but I don’t want you to get into trouble..can’t have them takin’ you away from me. Not when I just got you.” He frowned a little then pressed a kiss to her cheek, pulling away. “C’mon..it’ll be hard enough as it is..” He chuckled, pecking her lips once then moving from bed to pull his own shirt over his head

Audrey finished dressing, mentally trying to work out where she’d left her bag and shoes, deciding that she’d find them on her way downstairs, and she followed Nate out the room, running her hands through her hair to tame it a little, finding her shoes in the middle of the hall along with his.  
\---------------------------------------------------

They held hands the whole way to her place and when he parked and looked over at her, he sighed, squeezing it gently.  
“Can I still pick you up tomorrow?”  
She smiled, then made it wider as she looked down at their hands, finally pressing her lips together and nodding.  
“Yeah… if you want… I’d like that…” She glanced over at him again, then held his gaze, just looking at him, her smile smaller, but sincere.  
He smiled at her then glanced out the window, someone hanging out the door and looking in his car at Audrey sternly.  
“Guess it’s time to do..” He sighed, leaning forward to kiss her softly, his eyes closing. “Text me?”  
“Ok…” She whispered, kissing him back quickly, almost chastely now they were being watched.

As she got out the car, she offered him a sorry smile, then went to walk past the woman, rolling her eyes a little.  
“Relax Silvia… he’s just someone from school… “ When she still got a look she sighed. “We were doing homework?”  
Speaking angrily in Spanish, she ushered Audrey inside, glaring back at Nate as she did. 

Nate raised his eyebrows at the woman then sat back, pressing his lips together as he thought.  
What had he gotten himself into? A relationship? He didn’t know if he should call what they had that just yet…maybe the start of one. No. It was just sex, a quick fucking to get it out of the way so if they wanted out…at least they had a story. that was all.  
Sighing he threw the car in drive and made his way to Drake’s, hoping not to catch too much hell for smelling like sweat and sex.  
\-----------------------------------

“Naaaaaate..” Drake pulled him into a one armed hug when he arrived, kissing him wetly on the cheek, already half baked.  
“Just in time, you nearly lost your pizza… but I courageously saved it.” he laughed, then looked outside before shutting the door.  
“On your own?”  
“I am.” He nodded and looked around, seeing Kyle and another arguing over something. “Got a smoke for me?” He smiled, meeting Drakes eyes and smiling. Him and Audrey had shared a cigarette on the drive over but he wanted something a bit better. “I mean, unless you’ve smoked it all.”  
“Not even you reprobates could smoke all I got.” he chuckled, fishing around in his pocket and coming up with a joint, handing it to him.  
“You stink of sex by the way.”  
Nate glanced up after lighting and took a drag, holding it in then letting it out slowly. “What of it?”  
Usually Drake was first to know after he’d banged some one..but he didn’t feel the need, he was sure he already knew.

“Nothing of it.” He shrugged, taking a pull on his own joint and holding it in a while before talking around the smoke. “Audrey?” he wheezed, then exhaled with a satisfied sigh.  
Nate half shrugged and looked Drake straight in the eye, not giving away any hint that it was or wasn’t.  
“Wheres my pizza..I’m starving.” He chuckled after a second then replaced the joint between his lips as he brushed past Drake to the kitchen, who followed him through, not prepared to give in that easily.  
“C’moooon man! I apologized for being a dick already! I was drunk… you know how it is… I’m a grade A bag of dicks… I’m sorry… but c’mon. YOU my friend, have told me about every girl since Amanda Mullens gave you your first hand job… don’t hold out on me now.. huh?” He wheedled. smiling wide.

He looked back and rolled his eyes, pulling a few slices out of the box. “Yeah well, I’m well past hand jobs in the back of a car Drake.”  
He knew what telling Drake would end in, and he didn’t want that for her, not at all. 

“I met someone…” Drake said suddenly, glancing across at him, giving him a sheepish smile. “I was gonna tell you, but then.. yanno… you broke my nose so I was kinda sore with you for a couple of days.”  
Nate cocked an eyebrow at him. “Met someone..really. Who? Another college chick you banged once and suddenly you’re in love?” He snorted, poking fun at him now as he ate and smoked, his head getting that familiar fuzzy feeling.  
“You two like…dating then?” 

Drake took shallow puffs on his joint, watching as Nate slipped into his usual comfortable weed fug.  
“Shut up… She’s a Freshman in college, but… she’s like 8 months older than me.” He laughed. “and yes….. at first we just hooked up but now?… I dunno man… It feels like more…. We’ve been out a couple of times and she’s just really cool… yanno?”  
“mm.” Nate nodded, chewing thoughtfully, his head still half in bed with Audrey, he could still feel her on him since he hadn’t showered, both their sweat combined still pressed to his chest. “Bring her round one night..”  
Maybe… maybe…” He mused, not even bothering to pretend he was smoking anymore, Nate was too busy getting high.  
“s’not just fucking though… it’s like… a connection. You know what thats like right? realizing it’s more than a hook up… fucking mind blowing.”  
Nate blinked a few times and looked to Drake now instead of a blank spot on the wall. “Yeah..” He nodded, “I think I do..man..” He chuckled, taking another short hit then blowing it out with a smile. “Who’d have thought…”  
“We’re growing up man..” He laughed, putting his arm round his shoulders and shaking him. “Got a be a special girl to catch you through, right?” 

Nate smiled at him and nodded, dropping his gaze to the counter top with a chuckle. “Fuck..man, Audrey’s something..it took awhile, but shit she’s so fun..and beautiful..her smile..ugh!”  
“She smiles?” He teased, then slapped him on the back, snatching away the nearly spent joint and handing him another.  
“I’m kidding, I’m kidding…. SO wow.. you two really like a thing now huh?”  
“I guess.I mean I don’t know..not just yet..” He shrugged, ighting the new and taking a long pull, groaning as he held it and let it just roll out of his mouth. “Good fuck though, shit..can still feel her on me..” He chuckled.  
“… but you want to be a thing…” He grinned, then laughed. “Well… she didn’t come across as Polly Pure thats for sure…..”  
Nate nodded again and ran the palm of his hand across his eyes. “Yeah..I do..” he chuckled, looking to drake again, resting his chin on his hand. “Fucking stupid idea right? I mean fuck…I’m not a relationship guy..”  
“No man… not stupid…. I get it I guess.” He chuckled, shaking his head a little. “I’ve been a dick…. I should totally give your girl a chance right? I mean.. maybe I was like jealous or something.. I dunno…”  
“M’sure that was it..” He huffed then took another hit. “You really should..she’s honestly pretty cool. Just gotta get past the tough exterior.  
He felt he really got to see her nice side today, she let her guard down and he felt it was pretty hard for her to do that, to let him in knowing she thought he’d only ditch her after they were done.  
He might be a stoner, but he wasnt stupid, and he could read people.

“Tough girls…” He smiled, winking across at Nate, who by now could probably hardly focus enough to see it. “… you get past the bitch face and get them in bed and oh man…” he laughed.. “So much sweeter when they go all soft and shit, right?”  
“mm.” He hummed and stood up straight, going for the fridge to grab a drink and sighed. He was in that happy fug, one he’d love to share with her, make out, and sit real close, probably fuck again because it would feel like magic.  
\---------------------------------------------

Audrey was sat on her pillows in the tub.  
The bathroom was pretty much the only place she could hide out in to use her phone after 11, otherwise at least one of the bitches she had to room with would tell Silvia or Marcus, and then they’d take her phone off her again.

(A) You asked me to text, So here I am, texting you ;) 

She sent it to Nate and sighed. She should probably go back to bed, but every so often, when she moved her head, her hair smelled like him, like his bed, like the spray he wore, and it made her breath catch in her throat, so maybe she’d wait and see if he text’d her back.  
\------------------------------------------------

Nate was yelling at the tv while he laughed after having been shot, cheaply, by Drake who was laughing evily at him when he got the text.  
It scared him a little and as he squinted at the phone he looked at the tie and groaned, then opened the text from Audrey. 

(N)heeeyy :)  
(N)ts vry late……u shud b asleepin  
(N) m glad u txt me!  
He honestly shouldn’t even be texting, or anything in general but he’d go home soon, get some much needed sleep.

(A)so should you.  
(A)yr texting like yr stoned lol  
(A)yr totally stoned aren’t you…

(N)I m totll stoned.

(A)and you didn’t share with me???  
(A)rude Nate, duuude! ;)

(N)u had 2 go hme. (N)totly wud hve shard w u (A)wish I could have stayed (A)got high (AA)fooled around… She smiled as she sent it, closing her eyes as she thought about him moving down between her legs. (A)one day x (N)cld so use sum fooln round (N)Fuck..drakes strtin 2 look gud.. She sat up properly when she read that. (A)yr at drakes? She wasn’t sure how she felt about that, she’d stupidly thought he was just going back home. (A)I gotta go before I get caught. (N)Ya m @ Drake’s.. (N)tht Ok?… He didn’t think it wouldn’t be, Drake was still his friend even through he wasn’t exactly approving of Audrey. He didn’t care what Drake’s opinion of his choice in women was, just like he didn’t care what Drake was. (Tall, blonde, big boobs.) (N)m stil gun pik u up tmorro k? 


	7. Coffee and Goya

Audrey lay in bed, trying to ignore her roommates snoring, and instead, she closed her eyes and thought about the afternoon, about how he’d made her feel… not just the sex, although, the thought of it still made her squirm a little, made a flush rush up her body, but after.  
How he’d held her and petted her, and his smile.  
He smiled all the time, like life was one big fucking party, and somehow, she’d got an invite.  
\--------------------------------------------

Nate woke up late again, taking a quick shower at Drakes before borrowing some clothes and not even bothering to wake Drake who was snoring in his bed.  
He had to pick her up, and he knew it was cutting the time when he rolled up to the house and she wasn’t there.  
“Fuck…fuck fuck…” He swore, slamming his hand on the steering wheel. He grabbed out his pack of smokes and lit one before pulling out his phone, about to call her when he looked up and saw her walking ahead about a block.  
Driving up alongside her he leaned over. smiling through the window. “Hey beautiful…some asshole late to pick you up?..hop in we’ll kick his ass together.” He smiled around the smoke, alternating between looking at the road and her.  
“Don’t hate me?”

She wanted to be mad at him, not so much because he was late, but because her head had been almost unbearable, like stuck CD singing over and over, ‘told you so! Told you so!’  
When he hadn’t shown she’d waited until she knew the bus had gone, then made her way down the block, deciding to cut school all together.  
Not like she was needing high grades for college or anything, no one would even know she wasn’t there.  
She kept walking when he drew up besides her.  
“Well my rides a stoner, so I’m not exactly shocked.” She said, not looking at him. “Besides, you might not be going my way, so you might not wanna offer me a ride.”  
Nate frowned and parked his car.  
“Audrey..c’mon.” He pleaded then got out when she just kept on walking. “Audrey…what’s wrong today? huh?”  
He caught up with her and moved so he was a few steps ahead, Her jaw was set, angry, and he suspected it wasnt just because he was 20 minutes late. He made her stop and put his hand on her shoulders, smiling at her still even though he was confused.  
“Baby, did something happen?”  
Audrey stopped when he put his hands on her, and it took all her strength not to pull away from him, to just let him halt her.  
She shook her head, because he didn’t need to hear about her crap, no one signs up for that shit.  
Putting her hands in her pocket, she pulled out a smoke and lit it up, finally glancing up at him.  
“i’m not going to school… So you don’t need to give me a ride.” 

Nate frowned at that then chewed his lip.  
“Well…where Ya going? I’ll skip too..we can make a day out of it.” He suggested, the corners of his mouth rising s little. “Hey, we could go get some breakfast! Pancakes and shit..then we can hang out wherever you want.”  
He didn’t care about skipping school, he did it all the time but right now, he cared about her and Why she was in such a bad mood.  
Maybe something HAD happened.  
“Waddaya say?”  
She blew smoke out to the side, fidgeting on her feet a little.  
“You wanna come with then?” She asked carefully, and god, one part of her wanted him to spend the day with her, but the part that wanted to hate everyone kept skirting round the edges. 

“Come with where?” He asked with a small chuckle. “I’ll go wherever you want.”  
And he would, because she’d be there and he wanted to spend all day with her no matter what.  
“I was gonna go to the art gallery…” She said, shrugging when he gave her a look. “It’s free and there’s a coffee machine, and the guard don’t mind me hanging out so long as I don’t make myself too obvious.”  
She pulled her hair over one shoulder and took another drag. “I guess it sounds lame.” 

“No, no it doesn’t sound lame at all!” Nate shook his head, smiling all the while. “I wanna go there, I’ve never been and hey, who doesn’t like looking at art!” He laughed.  
He smiled at her then, reaching up to tuck a loose strand of her hair that had fallen in her face back. “Lemme take you to breakfast first though..I am starving.”  
She smiled then, when he didn’t laugh at her, didn’t try and make her go back to his, he wanted to buy her breakfast for gods sake.  
“Breakfast could be nice.” She smiled at him, then reached out, skirting the tips of his fingers with her own.

“I know just the place. You won’t regret it, promise. And the coffee is probably 100x better than the shit they have sitting on a warm in the gallery.” He grinned, leaning to kiss her softly. “Did I tell you how cute you look today?  
“No… You didn’t.” She half smiled, moving a little closer.  
He had that effect she noticed, pulling her in, making her relax, first person ever to do that. She threaded her fingers through his and kissed him back. 

Pulling back from her lips and smiled against them, bumping their noses together.  
“You…are so very cute today..with you’re side swoopy hair and your black hoodie..” He teased her gently, but was sincere. He love how she looked like she just rolled out of bed but still held herself so strong.  
“Yeah well…. I gave my stylist the day off.” She rolled her eyes a little, still smiling.  
She took a deep breath, feeling herself calming right down, able to leave all that crap behind in that ugly building, and concentrate on Nate. “So…. you buying a girl breakfast then?”  
“Yeah, I’m buying a girl breakfast.” He smiled, kissing her again quick and taking a deep breath. “Buying my girl breakfast. You wanna be my girl Audrey?”  
She didn’t say anything, felt her smile slip a little, but when he went to say something else she jumped in.  
“Yes….” Then laughed a little, feeling her cheeks redden. “yeah…. I wanna be your girl..”

Nate grinned, putting his arms around her shoulders and drawing her in for a close hug, chuckling a little.  
“It’s settled then..you’re my girl, and I’m your guy..no take backs.”  
He felt his chest loosen a little now that she’ agreed to be something with him, that the cold look she had in her eyes when he’d pulled up had warmed significantly. She might still be mad at him, but for now she was smiling, and he’d be fucked it if wasnt the prettiest damn smile he’d ever seen.  
As he drew her close, she put her arms around his middle, hugging him back, pressing her head to his chest.  
“No take backs.” She smiled, then tilted her head back to look at him. “So I got a stoner loser boyfriend now?” She teased.  
“Least I aint a pissbaby..” He laughed, hugging hr tight again before pulling back and smiling at her. “But yeah..you got a stoner, loser boyfriend..lucky you.”  
“No… not a piss baby.” She laughed, smiling back at him. “but hey.. You’re my stoner, loser boyfriend…”  
She put her hand to the back of his neck and drew him down to kiss him, running the tip of her tongue over his teasingly before pulling back properly.  
“I’m hungry…” She pouted.  
“Then lets get you some food!” He grinned, taking her hand and leading her to his car.  
He was hers, and she was his. He never thought it before…but it felt pretty good.  
\--------------------------

“So?….what did I tell ya?” Nate leaned across the table and watched as Audrey took a sip from the piping hot mug of coffee that was placed in front of her. “We come here when we’re hung..its like a fucking miracle in a cup..” He laughed.  
“This is actually really good.” She half moaned, running her tongue over her upper lip.  
She’d demolished a stack of pancakes as well, forcing herself to slow down, when he chuckled at her.  
Nat watched her eat with much interest, seeing her take down a 4 stack in no time and smiling a little.  
“Yeah, they have amazing food, and it’s not too spendy either..though it is a small local diner so..” He shrugged. He liked it because it was the closest thing to a “home cooked” meal he’d really ever had. “You want more coffee?”  
Audrey shook her head a little.  
“Kinda stuffed, I think more coffee would be a bad idea…” She looked around her properly. “yeah, it’s nice in here…. I’ve walked past it a bunch of times.. but.. totally buying their coffee next time I come through.” She smiled.  
Nate mirrored her smile and sat back to finish off his on mug then set it aside.  
“Whenever you wanna head to the art gallery, I’m stuffed…couldn’t eat another bite..” He chuckled and patted his chubby belly. “Oof..”  
She laughed gently, her smile becoming softer as she sighed, sipping on the rest of her coffee.

With a belly full of food and Nate smiling at her, it seemed easier to be less angry, to leave the constant state of worry back home, if you could call it home. Rooming with a bunch of kids more fucked up than she was.  
While she was with him she could pretend she was fine, she was normal, and now, he wanted her… properly, not just a hook up.  
Her smile widened at that and she nodded, “We can go as soon as you feel able to roll your fat ass out of here.” She teased, leaning across to poke his belly.  
“Gluhhh!” Nate groaned then laughed, laying down in the booth. “You roll me..’m too fat to stand. Gunna need a fork lift..” He smiled, peeking at her over the table then laughed.  
Audrey laughed, gathering up her things.  
“You’re a dork…. I’m going… if you can get out the booth you can come with me.” She stood up then looked back at him over her shoulder, smiling as she winked.  
When she turned and started to go Nate sat up, watching her a minute before throwing some bills on the table to pay then chased after her, wrapping his arms around her waist and lifting her up.  
“I’m up, I’m up! lets go scratch our chins and look at art.”  
She squealed and giggled when he grabbed her, laughing when he put her down, she half turned, kissing him quick, before taking his hand and leading him out into the sun.  
\--------------------------

Inside the gallery was cool, quiet, their footsteps echoing as they walked slowly round.  
“They have the biggest collection of Goya in the world.” She whispered, stopping in front of a dark, nightmarish painting. “Most of his Black Paintings are here, that’s why I come… I like his style…”  
Nate looked up at the painting, his eyebrows raising a little then glanced at her. “Yeah?…can’t imagine why..” He teased lightly then chuckled, looking back to the painting.  
It was terrifying if he was honest with himself. If he were high he would be freaking out for sure..  
“I think he has a better grasp of humanity than most other artists.” She said seriously, then felt her cheeks colour a little. “.. but… whatever….”  
She sounded weird saying all that shit out loud, usually it was just sat in her head, but trying to tell someone was actually harder than it seemed.  
Threading her arm through his, she leaned her head on his upper arm for a second, then shrugged, moving them away to look at something else.  
He stared at the painting a moment longer, watching it stare right back at him then with a shudder he moved after her, hoping she’d wander off into the abstract art or something.  
In the middle of the gallery was a marble fountain, modernistic, and they sat there for a while, watching people wandering round. The mother with a baby in a sling, a small class outing of grade schoolers, an elderly couple who seemed to be propping each other up.  
Without looking, she reached across for his hand, sliding her fingers through his. 

Nate looked down at their hands and smiled.  
“You know..I think skipping school today was a good idea..” He looked up at her and chuckled, looking around them before leaning to kiss her neck once then moved to kiss her lips. “Worth me being late?…I’m still sorry about that by the way…too much pot makes Nate very, very sleepy..” He grinned and kissed her cheek.  
She closed her eyes and smiled when he kissed at her neck, leaning into the one he pressed to her mouth.  
“It was an excellent idea.” she nodded, looking over to him to smile, then back down at their hands again, moving her thumb over his.  
“I wasn’t really mad at you.” She shrugged.  
He smiled then kissed her again. “You sure? That look you gave me could have struck down Zeus if he’d held it long enough…” He chuckled.  
She narrowed her eyes and pouted.  
“Zeus couldn’t handle me… that’s why I got you…” She grinned, wrinkling her nose, then leaned across to kiss him slowly, tightening her hand in his.  
“Oh.” He raised his eyebrows then closed his eyes, pressing into the kiss, a smile on his lips. “I’m so much better than that puny God anyways..better in bed too I’m sure..so much more attractive..” He chuckled between kisses.  
“Zeus was a whore who fucked anything….” She grinned. “Hmm… so maybe you are a little Greek god like after all….. But yes…. you’re cuter…”  
Nate laughed at that, dropping his forehead to her shoulder as he went on.  
“I cant!…my cover has been blown! I am the son of Zeus…though which one! He truly was a whore!” He laughed again until someone shushed him and stared sternly.  
“Oops…apparently they don’t know who I am…” 

Audrey stifled her laughter, standing up and dragging him with her towards the entrance, letting herself laugh louder as they got outside.  
“Idiot.” She giggled. “You’ll get me banned!”  
He grinned wide at the sound of her laughter and drug her into a tight hug, laughing some more with her.  
“ ‘M sorry! I’ll try and be on my best behavior next time..but even still..”  
She shifted from foot to foot in his arms, putting her own around his neck and kissing him with a grin.  
“No…. wouldn’t be you if you behaved.” She chuckled.  
No, it wouldn’t..you’re right.” He grinned again and squeezed her, closing his eyes as he took a deep breath in. “You wanna do anything else round town?…I’m thinking we should catch a smoke..”  
“A smoke sounds good…. Where to?”  
She watched him close his eyes and stood still, leaning up to press tiny, delicate kisses to his bottom lip.  
“Mine?” He whispered, pressing into each little kiss, chuckling softly at them then kissed harder, staying there a moment longer. “If you want..”  
She nodded, smiling a little. “Ok… we can go slum it at yours I guess.” She teased, running her nose over his.  
“So lets slum.” He smiled, kissing her again quick before taking her hand and leading her back to the car.  
\-----------------------

“No one’s home..big surprise!” Nate half laughed as he pushed the door open and kicked his shoes off. No one was ever home. Big ‘ol house, pointless house.  
“Whatever, we can smoke uninterrupted.” He looked back to her with a smile and headed for the stairs.  
“You lied to me right?” She smirked as she followed him upstairs. “You totally live here alone… I bet you’re actually 35 and just go to school to pick up girls…”  
Nate laughed, looking back at her as he climbed and winked. “That’s our secret now…tell anyone, and I’ll kill you…no one will know..” He joked, smiling at her before looking to where he was going. 

His room was as it was left after their fuck; sheets a mess, blankets tossed off the floor, used condom stuck to the side of the wastebin…  
As he moved around the room, Audrey went over to the bed, turning to let the back of her knees hit the mattress then flopping down on her back with a sigh.  
“It smells in here.” She said matter of factly, rolling onto her front and reaching up to push open the window a little.  
“Yeah?..deal with it..you helped.” He chuckled, sitting on the bed next to her ad when she turned wrapped his arms around her middle and drug her down over him, smiling up at her as she glared down.  
“And you loved it..” He added, leaning up to kiss her.  
Audrey flicked her hair off to the side and stared down at him haughtily.  
“Maybe I did love it…. doesn’t mean you can’t crack a window and make your bed.” She laughed then leaning down to press grinny kisses to him mouth.  
“Well I’m sorry…I never made it home.” He rolled his eyes and playfully smiled. “Next time I fuck and run I’ll make sure to get back and clean up before bringing the girl in question back to the scene of the crime.”  
“The scene of the crime...” She laughed, pressing her mouth to his again, her tongue creeping out to move over his, then sighing as she moved back a little.  
“We gonna smoke?”

Nate smiled and in a swift motion rolled so he was over top of her, his hands at either side of her face, pushing her hair away with a smile.  
“Yeah, were gonna smoke..” He kissed her softly, his eyes flitting across her ever feature. “What ya wanna smoke?..”  
“There’s a choice?” She half smiled, bashful under his scrutiny. “What ever you want… its fine with me…”  
But she was kissing him again, breathing into it as her arms went round his neck  
For a moment he let her, pressed his own down to her lips and the longer they stay pressed there the more he thought of the might before, how they were just like this, only so much more.  
With a few more heavier kisses Nate took her hand and held it at the side of her head, looking down at her down at her, his eyes tracking her again.  
“Maybe we could have a little both…I nipped a joint front Drake this morning..I know you don’t like my pipe..” He chuckled, smile falling as his eyes did to her lips then pressed down to kiss her again.  
He took a deep breath when he pulled back a little staring back up at him with a smile.  
“Just for me?… well now I know I’m special..” She laughed softly.  
“Just for you.” He smiled back, leaning down to kiss her again before pulling back and grabbing his pack of smokes from his pocket, opening it t reveal the tightly rolled blunt tucked neatly beside the others.  
He lay back over her, propped on his elbows as he placed it between her lips and lit it, waiting for her to take the first hit before picking it and pressing it between his own lips to pull back. 

She held the smoke as long as she could, waiting until her ears started to buzz, then, tilted her head back and blew it softy towards the ceiling, smiling up at him as her head rushed, parting her lips as he pressed it to them again.  
When she’d taken her second hit, Nate took another quick one then before either of them had the chance to exhale he pressed their lips together, blowing his smoke in her mouth for her to take in.  
For a moment they half kissed, passing smoke back and forth to each other, then she half coughed, turning her head away as smoke billowed from her nose, laughing as she caught her breath.  
“Sorry…” 

Nate grinned down at her, his fingers from one hand pushing through her hair slowly. “Don’t be…happens.” He kissed her again, breathing in slowly as his lips trailed along her jaw.  
He couldn’t even begin to describe how he felt at this moment. High would be one way, but it was something more, euphoric..that might be a little too much.  
Her head was spinning a little.  
Whatever Drake had put in the joint was strong, maybe even too strong to be just weed, but she was too far gone to care, his mouth on her skin making her shudder as she pushed up into each press of his lips..  
Nate licked along her jaw then pressed a wet kiss behind her ear, breathing hard into a chuckle and whispered. “You wanna fool around?..”  
He bit her earlobe then pulled back around to graze her lips with his and press a soft kiss to them.  
She nodded, not capable of forming a sentence, and when he offered her the joint again, she shook her head.  
Buzzed was good, buzzed was fun, but she wanted a little control back now.  
As the worst of it lifted, she pushed him off her, following him and sliding one leg over his hips so she was sat on him, her mouth pressed to his, kissing him almost lazily. 

When she moved him he reached and smushed the joint out for later then turned his full attention to her now, focusing on how her lips on his, her hips on his lap felt.  
He held her tight, pushing harder into her light kisses then pulled back so they were almost nonexistent, breathing hard over her lips and whining softly when her hands went to his hair.  
“You’re not a god….” She whispered over his lips, moving her hips a little, so softly, so slowly. “You’re Icarus….. always wanting to get higher and higher… and higher….” Her lips grazed his as she spoke, her fingers curling in his hair.  
Nate whined again, his eyes closed and his mind clouded with lust. He heard her, just barely, his hands moving up her back to grip her shoulders and pull her hips down on him harder.  
“..Not a God..” He repeated, chuckling against her lips. “..not an angel either…“  
Audrey chuckled back, shaking her head gently.  
“No…. not unless you’re a fallen one.”  
She kissed him again, pressing her mouth hard to his, letting him push her hips down on him, rocking them harder now, feeling him swell under her.  
“Take off your shirt.”  
Pulling away from him, she moved down his body a little as he pulled his shirt over his head, then bent down to kiss at his chest, mouthing softly over his sides, moving down to kiss across his stomach. 

He quickly did as she asked and tossed it off to the side. He moved to kiss her again but she pulled away and as her lips his his skin he tipped his head back in a groan.  
“Fuck…” He chuckled, looking down at her as she kept on.  
As she reached his waist band, she pulled it just slightly, uncovering his hip bones, sliding her tongue along them, mouthing across the bottom of his stomach to reach the other, and while she did, her fingers started to work on his belt.  
He watched her while she worked he mouth across his stomach and made a soft groan when his jeans popped and she opened his fly.  
It never failed to amuse her, how a few presses of her lips, the placement of her hand, could render a guy speechless. She thought it rather like lion taming, having complete control over someone for just a few minutes, someone who could hurt you, maybe even kill you.  
Not that Nate seemed the type to kill anyone, he was still bigger than her, stronger than her, but right now, she could probably do anything to him.  
She pulled his jeans down far enough for him to kick them off himself, then bent her head, running her nose across the bulge in his boxers, fingers stroking at his inner thighs, before she pressed her lips to him, mouthing at his growing hardness through the fabric.

Nate hissed when she nosed along him, his fingers curling into the bed sheets as her lips pressed to him and in that moment he thought he was truly screwed because this girl, that he had true feelings for, was going to go down on him of her own free will. Well, maybe a little drug induced but he hadn’t once suggested it to her..not even in a joke.  
When she told him no one had ever gone down on her he’d laughed, but in all his time being active(since he was 16,) he’d only received a handful of blows.  
His reputation of ‘man whore’ only held true to an extent. It wasnt 3 different girls a week like some said, or several a night like others claimed. In fact, in the past two years, Nate had only actually slept with 7 girls and one guy(don’t ask.)  
Admittedly he was more active during the last 12 months, but still.  
He looked down at her now just in time to catch her eye as she glanced up at him and grinned, a short laugh bursting from his chest.  
“Oh you think that’s funny?” She said softly, pulling gently at the waist band of his boxers, her eyes never leaving his. “You think getting blown is a laughing matter?”  
She pulled them back just enough to expose the head, and, still watching him, she ran her tongue along him, pressing the tip of it harder to the sensitive spot just below the head.  
“Still laughing?” She asked conversationally, pulling his boxers lower, she rose up on her hands and knees, looking down into his face as she ran her hand firmly up his length, the corner of her mouth twitching up into a small smile at the look on his face, she moved back down to run her tongue all the way along him, before taking him in her mouth. 

Nate bit back every urge to tell her to shut up and suck..her chiding grating on his patience. He like to be the one to talk, to tease but now she was doing it..and he didn’t know what to think about it.  
As soon as he lips curled round his cock, Nate put his hand on her head, lowering her down with his palm so she slowly took all of him in.  
She let him for a second, then pulled back, shaking his hand off her head with a scowl, before returning to tease at him, sometimes sinking down on him until he started to thrust up, then pulling away a little, tonguing across the tip, mouthing at it, wanting to see how far she could push him.  
He groaned each time she pulled away, leaving him cold and hard until she decided to start up again. Didn’t she know its always so much better not to pull it out?  
“..fuck..” He whined as she sunk down over him again, tipping his head back. He wasn’t going to come like this, if that was her goal. There where too many breaks, too much loss of contact for him..still felt amazing..  
On the next time she pulled away he looked down and cupped under her chin, pulling her up and over him, his lips hitting hers roughly as he started to tug at her shirt.  
Audrey had to give him kudos.  
She’d wondered if he’d get too frustrated, maybe grab her hair and keep her in place till he got off, so when he pulled her up to him, kissing her as he grabbed at her shirt, she was relived. She wasn’t sure what she would have done if he’d been a jerk like that, but it was a good test.  
When would she stop testing him?  
When would she stop setting all these trials in her head that he had to pass before she’d trust him?  
She didn’t know. It was simply second nature to her, but as she shed her shirt, kissing him hard, she knew that he’d at least passed this one, she could relax again. 

Nate sat up, pulled her down so she was straddling him and moved his hands to her back to unhook her bra, all the while he flicked his tongue hard across hers.  
She put her hands to his face, pulling back slightly as he undid her bra, watching his eyes as they flickered about hers.  
“Want me?” She whispered.  
“Yeah..” He whispered back, kissing her once before pulling back to take her bra off the rest of the way then looked down to her breasts, cupping one gently and ducking down to mouth along the soft curves.  
Of course he wanted her, He had before they started smoking. In hindsight, grabbing one of Drakes joints might not have been the best choice for a mid-day smoke..the bastard usually laced them with something or another and this one probably had a small cut of coke in. though he guessed it would wear off in a couple hours as long as they didn’t smoke anymore..  
Audrey felt beautifully warm, his mouth moving across her skin, leaving molten trails like his tongue was covered in lava or sunlight…. and she laughed at the thought, tipping her head back as he pulled her closer, she whispered, higher, higher, higher, to herself, moving her hips across his lap, feeling him pressed hard up to her.  
She pushed him back and stood up on the bed over him, swaying a little as her head rushed, then pulled her jeans off, lifting one leg, then the other, tossing them to one side so she was only in her underwear, then sitting back over him, kissing him slowly.

Nate groaned into it, his hands trailing down her back to her ass and firmly pulling her down, rocking his hips up against her.  
Fucking she was warm, her breath, her skin..it all screamed ‘take me’ and as she whispered he breathed back that they would fly high together..  
She wasn’t so high that she’d forget to be careful. All those assholes out there that blamed drink and drugs for doing dumb stuff, it was a convenient get out clause for being a dick.  
Pulling away, she leaned over him, remembering where he’d taken the rubber from, then grabbed one, sitting up on his thighs to open the packet.  
“You wanna or should I?” She smiled.  
Nate leaned back on his elbows and grinned stupidly wide. “You can…love it when the girl does it..” he chuckled, reaching for her chin and pulled her to his lips.  
“Well…. I’m not just any girl…” She half smiled, tilting her head a little as she opened the packet, taking him in hand as she flicked her gaze up to his, stroking him firmer, not that she needed to do much.  
When she’d rolled it on, she shifted forwards a little, wriggling her panties off, and as she watched him, she slid her fingers over herself. But then weed always did make her less inhibited just enough anyway.

His eyes closed as she rolled it down and a small groan slipped past his lips, gripping her thighs to he wouldn’t rock up. “No…you most certainly are not..fuck..” He half laughed then opened his eyes to see her start to touch herself and he lost it.  
He sat up and hooked his hand under her thighs and lifted her, flipping her to her back, barely giving her w moment to register that his lips were on hers again and moving fast down her stomach and between her hips.  
He knocked the breath from her when he flipped her onto her back, scared for a second with how quick he was, then his mouth was between her legs, making her wet, drawing gasps and whines from her lips , until all she could do was try to pull at his arms, panting softly, come here…. please… please Nate…

He made one last sweep of his tongue over her then moved up to her lips, taking her face in his hand and pushing hard down on her, taking her hip and pulling it up over his own and grinding on her.  
As he lifted her hip, she pushed down hard, groaning as he slipped inside her, mouth stilling on his before kissing frantically again, biting at his lips as he started to thrust.  
Nate moaned in between heavy presses of their lips and gently bite, feeling her hot and wet on him, tight and clenching with every thrust he made it seemed..he was sure to lose his head.  
He wanted more, needed to take her deeper and as he felt his gut churn he pulled her up so she was tight to his chest and put his one hand to her shoulders to hold her up and the other on her as to make her move.  
His heavy thrusts made her whine, but now she felt a little clearer headed, she moved her mouth from his, pressing her hands to his face.  
“Slow down…” She soothed, then pushed him onto his back, staying with him, moving fluidly, barely breaking stride, she sat up on him, her hands on his chest, head tipped forwards as she moved on him. 

He huffed an almost in recognizable laugh that turned more into a desperate moan as she pushed him back and sat up straight on him, her slow movements drawing out the pleasure so he was left to writhe under heavy waves.  
“…fucking goddess…” He groaned up at her, his mouth hung open as he watched her move, resting his hands on her hips, pulling her along.  
She flicked her hair back to look at him, biting down on her lip as she rolled her hips back and forth, his finger tips digging into her hips, helping her move.  
“Goddess..” She half chuckled, panting into a whine, curling her fingers against his chest as she pressed down as she rocked, dragging herself over him. “Like Kali….. all Fire… destruction…. Fuck!…” She gasped, as a spike of pleasure ran up her body.

As she leaned over he held her still a moment, thrusting up in her hard and fast until he felt he was going to come and stopped, pulling himself back for her.  
“Just like that…Fuck….God..Fuck..” he moaned, pulling her harder, then moving a hand between them to rub at her clit, wanting her to come on him.  
As he ran his fingers across her firmly, her whines turned to breathless cries, her whole body shaking as she moved herself faster, feeling his breath hot across her face as she bent her head, her cries stopping as she tensed on him, then moaning loud as she came, tight heat blooming through her body. 

He moved his hand away as she started to come and held her hips again as he thrust up again, hitting fast and drew then stopping altogether as he too started to come.  
As he stilled his hips, she let herself fall forwards onto his chest, her lips seeking out his, more breathing against him that actually kissing.  
They slowed gradually, his moans turning to sighs and then just contented breaths.  
He was just high enough yet that his head spun, and his senses were still so heightened that every kiss felt like silk.  
She kept moving softly back on him, still half hard inside her, she shivered and sighed gently over his mouth, pressing small kisses to his lips.

“God you’re perfection…” he hummed, lofting his knees and pressing up into her again with a soft groan and honestly could probably go again of they wanted.  
“…Fuck..” he chuckled, biting her bottom lip gently.  
“Not perfection….” She whispered, smiling as she ran her nose back and forth over his, stilling to gasp, biting softly on her lip as he pushed up into her again.  
“You’re prefect….. warm and hard….” She giggled softly, still half high, basking in the aftermath of smoking as much as sex., 

Nate chuckled then reached to cup her jaw and kiss her softly, sweetly as he sighed heavily.  
“So glad I skipped school..”  
“Glad you were late and I decided to skip school.” She whispered, smiling into his kiss. “We’re a couple of reprobates….. I’m dragging you down to my level… and your parents will weep and say He was such a GOOD boy till he met Audrey...”  
My parent know better..“ he chuckled. “They pay me to stay in school and look the other way when it comes to drugs..as long as I stay out of the papers..Im golden.”  
Propping herself up on his chest, she rested her chin on her hand and traced lazy patterns with her finger over his chest.  
“You never told me what your Dad does….. Or is it a secret?” she glanced up at him and shrugged one shoulder. “I mean… you don’t have to tell me… its cool…” 

He laughed, shaking his head and lolling it to the side to look at her. “He’s uh..hes the governor ..essentially…so I have to be nonexistent….”  
“Ahhh… ok…” She smiled, resting her head on his chest again.  
The Governor.  
Well…. She was unlikely to be meeting the parents then, sitting around the table, stuffing her face while they looked at her aghast, then asking what her parents do… Oh the fun she’d have watching their faces when she told them.  
No.  
Wasn’t going to happen anyway.  
“At least this house is big enough that I can sneak out if anyone comes home early.” She chuckled, rolling off him and onto her back, stretching like a cat as she did.

"You don’t need to sneak out..” he said gently, Rolling over and pushing his arm over her stomach and pulling her close. “Never sneak..”  
“Sneaking’s like second nature.” She smiled, making it wider than necessary. “But thank you…. “  
She rolled onto her side as he pulled her closer, kissing him softly, slow and lazy like she felt, the early afternoon sun streaming in through the window by the bed, making everything seem heavy and slow.  
Wrapping his arm under her Nate ran his fingertips along her shoulder and closed his eyes, feeling contented enough to fall into a light sleep.


	8. Axe signature scents

Audrey woke up with a fuzzy head turning her head towards the window and seeing that the sun was on its way to setting.  
Turning back, she watched Nate sleep for a while.  
He looked younger, like the act of sleeping stripped away the act he put on around people, the funny guy, the one who didn't care about shit.  
Sitting up, she spied an en suite through a half open door, and, grabbing her clothes, she slid from bed and made her way over, deciding a shower before she had to go home was defiantly in order. 

When Nate woke up he groaned, the light airy feeling in his head now a thick dense fog that didn't lessen even as he sat up and rubbed the heels of his hands against his eyes.  
He was naked. He realized, then looked to the side where he could have swore Audrey had been laying and noticed she was gone.  
Maybe it was all just a coke induced hallucination. A very very good hallucination.  
He chuckled to himself then looked to his bathroom when he heard the shower turn off then smiled, climbing out of bed and throwing on a pair of shorts, peeking through the door to see Audrey toweling off with her back to him.  
“You’re not planning on sneaking out…are ya?”

She started a little he spoke, scowling when she turned to face him, the towel pressed to her chest, ridiculously demure.  
“How long you been standing there?” She asked, narrowing her eyes a little. “… and wow… you look like you just woke up after a stoned fuck induced nap…” She teased.

“A-ha ha ha..” Nate fake laughed and pushed off the doorframe. “Not long..and for your information, I did just wake up from a stoned fuck induced nap..thank you for noticing..”  
He moved in to her and wrapped his arms around her. Her body still warm from the shower and she smelled of his soap when he pressed a kiss to her shoulder. “Spose it’s getting time for you to go?”  
He didn't want her to leave, not at all. 

“I got an hour… “ She leaned back a little to look into his face, smiling lopsidedly, “… but I just showered, so I’m not doing anything that means I gotta shower again.” She laughed, then sighed, snuggling against him again and pressing her face to his chest.  
She hated that there was always a time limit to them being together, even when they skipped school. 

“That’s an hours we can eat leftover Chinese food and chill on the porch while we smoke a cigarette or two.” He smiled down at her, kissing her nose softly. “You wanna give me 10 minutes to shower?…you can heat the food..”  
“Ok.” She smiled, moving away from him, dropping the towel as she went through the door back into the bedroom to dress.

The kitchen was massive, like one of those huge spaces you saw in magazines, it tried to look farmhouse and homely, but in reality you could have a party for 70 people in here and still have room to spare.  
While she waited for the food, and Nate, she sat up on one of the counters, idly swinging her legs back and forth as she stared off into space.  
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Nate showered quickly, scrubbing his face of the thick sweaty feeling that clung to him from everything and as he scrubbed the rest of him he went through a mental checklist.  
He’d met this amazing girl. Check.  
Gotten her to like him. Check.  
Introduced her to friends instead of outright fucking her. Check.  
Fucked girl. Check.  
Developed feelings for said girl. Check…  
He blinked the water from his eyes and sighed. Good god, what had he gotten himself into.

“Smells good in here.” Nate grinned, coming into the kitchen in fresh sweats and a loose t-shirt. no sense getting dressed again when all he had planned was dropping her off then coming back home to probably play video games.  
“I’m a master in the kitchen so long as it only involves heating up or boiling water.” She smiled, looking across at him as he moved over to her, shifting her knees as he leaned in close.  
“Hey.” She smiled, kissing him softly, “You smell good.”

“Hey.” He echoed and placed his hands on her sides as he closed the gap between them and kissed her on the lips softly. “So do you..you smell like me.” he chuckled. “I could get used to that..”  
“Mm?” Audrey smiled, draping her arms over his shoulders. “So many things I could get used to.”  
She nuzzled at his nose with hers, then kissed him again, slower, deeper than before, just breathing him in.  
He was right though, smelling the same, it felt familiar, comfortable, comfortING, like they belonged to something together. 

Nate smiled, his eyes falling shut as he nose nuzzled his and just let himself enjoy this closeness, the way her breath felt warm over his lips and how her still damp hair fell from behind her shoulders and tickled his cheeks.  
It was nice, feeling this close to another person. But as nice as it felt..it also scared the shit out of him. He didn’t have relationships..not long ones..and he feared that it was only a matter of time before he fucked it up somehow and she was gone for good.  
The timer buzzed and he sighed, pulling back with a kiss then went to grab the food out and set it out on the counter for self serve.  
“I am starving…how about you.” He looked over his shoulder with a sly grin. “We did just work pretty hard in there..”  
“… And we skipped lunch….” She chuckled, half turning and tucking one knee under her as he put the food out, dumping half of one into a bowl and starting on it hungrily, forking it into her mouth and ignoring the fact it was a little too hot.

She had a weird relationship with food…. She had a weird relationship with every thing, but food especially, alternating between not eating or eating as much as she could, like she’d never really moved on from how life used to be.  
The food in the house was pretty standard, wasn’t terrible, wasn’t inspiring, but she hardly ever ate there. It just felt wrong. Home cooked food tasted wrong, and as for school lunches? She wasn’t wasting money on buying them when she needed to buy smokes, and she sure as hell wasn’t going to stand there with her welfare lunch ticket.  
Fuck that.  
Fuck them all.  
Nate at up beside her and held his own bowl underneath his chin while he shoveled noodles in at an alarmingly dangerous rate. He’d get sick later probably, but fuck was he hungry..

“I love chinese food.” She mumbled through a mouthful. “Always reminds me of good times.”  
Audrey glanced across at him, laughing as she reached over, pulling a little slither of noodle off his chin. “You’re a pig.”  
He finished slurping up the noodle hanging from his mouth then smiled as she cleaned off his face. “Yeah..but’m your pig so..” He shrugged, digging his fork back into the bowl and stuffing his mouth full again.  
She nodded, unconcerned.  
“Yeah…. but you’re nicely brought up…. I got that whole no parental guidance thing going on… officially allowed to be a pig.” She opened her mouth wide and shoved nearly all her noodles in, half laughing around them.  
Nate laughed and shook his head. He wouldn't go on about his childhood, wasn’t important then, even less so now.

“I'm about ready for a cig..how bout you.”  
Audrey managed to finish her mouthful, nodding as she reached for the soda he’d given her, swallowing half of it in one go.  
“yeah… sounds good .” She smiled, hopping off the counter, following him out onto the porch.  
Nate held two between his lips and lit them both, taking a few puffs before handing one to her with a smile.  
“Sucks you Gotta go..” he sighed and exhaled.  
She shrugged.  
“I can’t stay away overnight without being signed out…. Like being in an open prison.” She laughed mirthlessly, wrapping one arm around her knees and exhaling smoke into the evening sky.  
“One thing I won’t miss. I mean… It’s not gonna be easy, when I have to leave, but at least if I want to crash somewhere for the night or something, I’m not gonna get grounded like a fucking twelve year old…”  
Nate half smiled and wrapped his arm around her. He wanted to offer her a place to stay but..in 9 month, anything could happen.  
So instead he sucked on his cigarette and enjoyed now.  
Audrey leaned her head against his shoulder when he put his arm around her, sighing softly.

Before all this, she’d thought about leaving. Just getting on a bus and vanishing. People did it all the time, and she knew she could survive, could make a little money, get by.  
But then she’d met Nate, and now she didn’t want to go.  
She was stuck in limbo, wanting to leave, but wanting to stay with him. Maybe if he was just like her, if he was poor and had nothing to lose, she’d just ask him to come with her, just grab his hands and say, “Lets go… lets just get the fuck out of here…”  
But he wasn’t.  
The son’s of governors can’t vanish…. The son’s of governors don’t want to. 

“You’re thinkin hard about something..” Nate smiled, still staring out down the road. “Wanna let me in on it?”  
“Not a thought in my head Nate…” She chuckled. “Just smokes and weed and fucking….”  
It wasn’t really a lie. Couldn’t be a lie when she believed it herself.  
“Sure.” He chuckled and hugged her closer, wrapping both his arms around her shoulder as he drew in the scent of his shampoo, now mixed with smoke. “I should get you back….don’t wanna…but I also don’t want you in trouble…”

Audrey closed her eyes when he pulled her tight against him.  
She’d never had this, not really. He was casually affectionate in a way that was alien to her, but every time he hugged her, or kissed the side of her head, anytime he touched her at all that wasn’t really sexual, she felt a warm glow seep through her chest.  
“yeah… Guess you should…” She turned a little to look up at him and tried to smile, but it came out wrong, too small… too tight. “I don’t wanna go either.”  
Nate nodded and kissed her forehead, sighing a little. “I’ll pick you up for school tomorrow..promise not to be late….I have plans with my Xbox and That’s all..so text me.”  
“Ok..” She whispered, raising her head a little so his lips moved from her forehead to her mouth, kissing him gently, almost tenderly, tasting the smoke on his tongue, maybe even the faintest suggestion of herself.  
With a big sigh he crushed out his smoke and stood up, taking her with him to his car.

When he drew up outside the house, she hesitated, looking out the window at the building waiting for her. It felt like the longer she spent with him, the more unbearable it was to come back.  
She turned to look at him, her mouth opening, and she nearly said, Drive…. Drive me away... But instead, she said. “I’ll see you tomorrow?  
He nodded and leaned to kiss her softly, sighing against her lips when she moved from the car, their hands only dropping from each other’s when she got too far from him.  
It royally sucked. But at the same time it felt like the best thing in the world…as messed up as that sounded.  
After leaving her he drove back home and went to his room, flopping back on his bed and closed his eyes..it still smelled of them, of smoke, and it made him smile to himself.


	9. Kissing can be quiet

Nate parked up the block a little over an hour later and started to walk towards the building, texting her as he did.

An hour ago they'd been messaging, and he suddenly realized, he wanted to see her again, right now, and in the end, she'd agreed, telling him to drive over and wait then she'd sneak him inside.

Audrey directed him to the back of the building, then leaned out the window of the office when she saw him, motioning him to come over, stepping back to let him in before shutting the grill and window after him.  
“C’mon…” She whispered, taking his hand. “We can’t stay in here…

Nate followed her and as they moved around he looked at the place, really looked and hated that she stayed here.  
There had to be better places….

Pausing just before they rounded a corner, she opened a door, pulling him inside and shutting it, waiting a moment before turning on the light.  
It was a large store room, full of boxes, broken furniture, just a general dumping ground for all the crap that built up in a place like this.  
Whenever a kid ran away, their personal belongings got boxed up and put in here.  
Hardly anyone ever came back to claim them.  
Walking to the back of the room, she grabbed a box of blankets on her way, laying them out on the floor in a corner, partially hidden by a wardrobe.  
“Fancy huh?” She joked. But it wasn’t really funny. “Bet you’re glad you came..” 

Nate took it all under and though it made him a little sick he smiled.  
“I am. Got to see you again.” He grabbed her and hugged her tight. “Everyone asleep?”  
There was a fierceness in his hug that caught her breath, and as she put her arms around his middle, she nodded against his shoulder.  
“Everyone except Marco… He’s the social worker on duty tonight… but he’s watching tv… so long as we’re quiet we’re ok..”  
Nate nodded then tipped her chin to kiss her with a smile. “Quiet..kissing is quiet, Let’s do that.”

“Kissing can be very quiet…” She whispered, matching his smile, then wrapping her arms around his neck as he pulled her closer by the waist, kissing him slowly.  
He pulled her to his lap and held her close, letting her lead their lips together.  
It was a different pace of kissing, one where both of them understood it couldn’t lead to anything, just enjoying it for the sake of it, and that made her almost happy… certainly happier than she’d been in a long time.  
He’d driven over here, crawled through a window, and was now sat in this dirty ass depressing room, just so he could kiss her.  
No one had ever done anything like that for her before. 

Nate wondered if the night guy did bed checks like a prison, certainly they felt the need to even HAVE a night worker…  
He tried not to think too much on it and he certainly wasn’t about to ask just what the hell happened that she ended up in a place like this..  
No, he’d sit here with her, kiss her, hold her in his arms…

She lost track of time as they kissed, and aside from pulling back a little from time to time, to breath softly against each others lips, to run their noses together, they kissed almost continuously.

The sound of the door opening down the far end made her jerk away in alarm.  
“Audrey? You in here again?”  
“Shit…” She whispered. “It’s Marco….. just…. stay here. Don’t make a sound.”  
As he watched her, she scrubbed her fingers against her eyes, reddening them up, and noted the surprised look on his face when she burst into soft sobs, tears and all.  
She moved away from the corner, coming out where Marco could see her.  
“I’m here… I’m sorry… I just needed to be alone.” She wept.  
“Hey… C’mon now…” He placed a meaty paw on her shoulder, they weren’t allowed to touch any of them more than that, certainly no hugging. “You know I can’t let you stay down here.”  
“Marco, please! Just a little longer… I’ll go straight back to bed…. I just needed space.”  
He sighed heavily.  
“It’s this thing with your Mom isn’t it. Silva and your caseworker will be right there with you… nothing to worry about….” He looked down at the sobbing girl and sighed.  
“Ok… look… Swing by the managers room so I know you’re going back to bed… If you’re not out of here in an hour, I’m hauling your ass up those stairs myself, ok?”  
“Ok…” She sniffled. “Thanks Marco.”  
She watched him leave and took a deep breath, wiping her eyes before she went back to Nate.  
“What? I’ve been able to turn on the water works since I was six… It’s handy.” She half laughed, sitting down again.

Nate kept quiet and hidden though when Audrey went out he could still hear them talking.  
She’d obviously done this many times before, which he couldn’t blame her for, though he didn’t see why it was necessary.  
He looked up when she came back and smiled, still staying quiet until she sat back down with him. “Very handy..” He chuckled then looked down at his feet. “So..what's the deal with your mom?…” 

Her smile slipped, face setting as she looked away, shrugging slightly.  
“Bitch wants to see me…. Found Jesus or some shit, and she won a court order for contact. Apparently I don’t get a say..”  
She fiddled with the blanket under her, worrying at a loose thread.

“Oh..” Nate bit his lip and looked in the direction Audrey was, seeing a shelf with a few old cardboard boxes.  
He guessed it was a sensitive subject, thought it was apparently more than that.  
“Do you have to see her?..I mean, how can’t you have a say?…”  
“Because, legally, I’m a minor, and the court said she can have 2 hours, twice a month, supervised….” She glanced up at him, and now the dry itching in her eyes didn’t feel fake.  
“Ever notice how kids are like property?”  
She half laughed, turning her head away again with a soft, shit, under her breath, wiping at her eyes with the back of her wrist.

“Fuck..I’m sorry..” Nate sighed, offering a small smile that went unseen as she turned from him. “Hey..c’mon..” He pulled her back, holding her against his chest, pressing his lips to her hair.  
“It’s only a couple hours…shit, I’m lucky if I get to see my mom once a week..”  
She half went to pull away, but turned into him instead, wrapping her arms around him as she pressed her face to his shoulder, closing her eyes when he kissed into her hair.  
“Well… I saw her nearly every day for 12 years Nate, I don’t want to see her again…. I already had my fill of her….”  
She took a deep breath, letting it out with a shudder.  
“I wish she was dead.”

Nate held his tongue, not wanting to upset her anymore than he probably already had by even mentioning the thing with her mom.  
“Ok baby.” He whispered then kissed her forehead again. “OK..” 

“Well this got fucked up.” She sighed, sitting up properly and wiping her eyes.  
“So not only did you drive all the way over here to sit in this shitty room with me, but now I ruined it…”  
“Nah..you didn’t ruin anything.” Nate smiled and hugged her tight. “Didn’t ruin anything baby..”  
He was a little taken aback, but certainly he didn’t view her as any less of a person for any of it. 

Audrey nodded, taking a deep breath.  
“I should go back…. get you out before Marco comes looking for me again.” She whispered.  
“Alright.” Nate sighed and stood to help her up, pulling her back into his arms. “M’still picking you up for school tomorrow…don’t think I’m not.”  
She closed her eyes tight when he hugged her, then nodded.  
“Wow… you must really like fucking me to keep coming back…” She half laughed, trying to joke.  
“I’ll be outside… Don’t be late.”  
\--------------------------------------------  
Nate lay in his bed again, staring up at the ceiling, his window cracked a little as he puffed lazily on his pipe. No way was he touching Drakes blunt again today..he’d save that for the weekend or some shit.  
… you must really like fucking me to keep coming back…  
Yeah…he really did…and that was the problem. He’d keep going back to her again and again and she’d keep revealing more of herself to him and he was afraid that the deeper they got the darker the box would get and before he knew it he couldn’t get out if he wanted to..  
That was tomorrow Nate’s problem. Today Nate had video games and weed to worry about.


	10. Shoulda seen the other guy

He rolled up right on time, looking out his window at Audrey with a sleepy smile then reached across to push the door open for her.   
“Get in loser, we’re going to schoooool!” He teased and kissed her quick when she got in.   
“Well good morning young sir… ready for another day of fun filled learning?” She smiled.  
Audrey had her game face well and truly on this morning, and any tears she’d shed quietly on her own last night, were long dried and washed away.  
“Take me to the temple of education!” She proclaimed, banging her fist on the inside of the car roof with a giggle.   
“As you wish m’lady!” Nate laughed and gunned it, squealing away from the curb.   
“You wanna smoke? fresh pack in the holder..” He nodded down. “Not even out of the cellophane..”   
“Well you DO care!” She smiled, fishing them out and opening the pack, running her nose along the top and inhaling that new pack smell.  
“Mm.. breakfast.” She chuckled, taking two from the pack and lighting them, handing Nate one as she took a drag on hers.   
Nate laughing and took it between his fingers, rolling the window down before taking his of drag off.   
“Yep…that’s good.” He grinned, tipping his head back to exhale. “So. We gonna do lunch? I’m thinking somewhere fast and greasy..”   
“Sure, I’ll come keep you company.” She smiled flicking ash out the window, then putting the cigarette in her other hands so she would play her fingers through the wind outside the car.  
“You act like I’m not buying you lunch…” Nate looked over at her and frowned. “It’s not because I have money that I do it you know..It’s because you’re my girlfriend..and you need to eat..”   
She looked down her shoulder at him, at the serious set of his jaw.  
“I eat.” She shrugged, then laughed, “But fine… you can buy me lunch if it makes you happy.”  
She knew he could afford it, knew it wasn’t even really him paying for it, it just came from his father, but sometimes, she wished she could buy them food, or a packet of smokes, or something… anything.  
She’d seen too many girls grow dependent on handouts.   
But she wasn’t going to say anything, not to Nate, she leaned across to kiss the frown line between his eyes. “Don’t pout.” She smiled.

“It will…and I’m not…” He stuck his lips out then smiled. “Drake may like his women to look like they haven’t eaten in weeks…but I don’t so you’re getting the biggest, FATTEST..juiciest burger I can buy..”   
“Oh my god! Are you like one of those weird feeder guys!… Like, you’re gonna keep me on a bed and feed me till I’m like 600lb?” She laughed, kissing under his ear, along his neck as he drove.  
Nate smiled as wiggled away as she kissed at him then laughed. “Maybe I am! And I have a special room in my basement where I keep my fat ladies, keep’m all comfy and fed..”  
“So I’m gonna have to counteract that…” She grinned. “Every time you feed me I’ll just have to make sure I fuck you extra hard and burn off the calories..” 

“Oh..Yes please!” Nate laughed and as he stopped at a light leaned over and kissed her hard, grinning.  
She laughed with him, kissing him back, feeling him lean harder into it, until a blast from the horn of the car behind them, made them pull away with chuckle, noticing the green light.   
“Fuck..” Nate laughed gently then sped through, managing to get them to school with enough time to sit and make out in the car a little longer.  
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“It’s legitimately disgusting watching the two of you.” Drake sighed as he walked to class with Nate.  
“You keep missing date nights with ME.” He pouted, breaking into a laugh. .   
“Fuck off.” Nate growled, shooting Drake a look. “Why don’t you hang out with your college girl, give her a few pumps..”  
“College girl…?” He frowned, then chuckled when he remembered. “Oh! Yeah… Hmm.. totally didn’t work out. So look… hang out…. bring her with you if you want… we’re all friends now, right?”   
“Are we?” Nate frowned, turning on Drake and stopping him. “You’ve had nothing nice to say about her since I fucking pointed her out! So are we all friends Drake?”

Drake was nonplussed, letting Nate stop him, keeping his hands thrust in his pockets.  
“I don’t have anything nice to say about anyone.” He shrugged. “Shit… how many times have I called you a cunt?… Don’t mean a thing..”  
“So I bring her around again..then what? You all sit away from us and shoot looks at her? Make her feel uncomfortable?…like someone or not Drake..it’s fucking rude.”  
“Jesus Christ…. I try and be nice and this is what I get? Fine… really… whatever. But you know something.. you’ve changed… she’d changing you…” He said accusingly, taking his hands out his pockets now to point at him.

He chuckled and shook his head.  
“Maybe man..maybe I have but you know, maybe change is good..”  
“Nah man… change is bad… change is a bad thing… I’m counting on you to come smoke with me, maybe do a couple of lines, play some games… but no, you’re having too much fun slumming it with little miss wrong side of the tracks. Seriously Nate… Just fucking move on…. I mean, you can’t seriously want an actual relationship with her…” 

“Well I do!’ He shouted, glaring at a kid who stopped to stare. “And she does too and..we have one so you can keep your fucking opinions to yourself. You’re so pretentious Drake Fuck!”

“I’m not pretentious… I’m a fucking realist!” He yelled back.  
“What… You introduced her to Daddy yet? Hows he gonna feel about that? Jesus!”  
He glared at him only a few inches between them now. “She is trash… and it’s fine to to grab a girl like that and get her wasted and have some fun, but you can’t fucking date it! You think any fucking wasp girls gonna wanna go near your dick if they knew what you been sticking it in?”  
Several students had stopped now and were watching the argument between the two of them and were starting to gather in a circle.  
“Fucking cock!” Nate yelled, throwing his hands against Drake’s chest, tossing him back against the lockers. “You’ve no right…no God Damn right!”

Drake stumbled back, then pushed himself off the lockers, his head low, and barreled into Nate, pushing his shoulder into his stomach and grappling him to the floor, hitting out where he could.   
The initial shock from having the wind knocked out of him left Nate stunned but as soon as the first punch connected with his cheek bone he snapped from that and started to throw a few of his own, managing to grab Drakes shirt and rip him down to the floor so he was now under Nate, guarding his face from the series of hard blows. 

Audrey had glanced up from her locker when she heard the commotion, and followed the others to find the source.  
When she saw Nate doing his best to drive Drakes face into the back of his head, she pushed her way forwards.   
“Nate!” She cried, grabbing at his arms to pull him back. “Nate stop!”  
He heard her, but it wasn't until she tried to get a hold of him that it really registered she was trying to get him to stop, but he was already there, Drake was already bloodied under his fist,(not that he was much better off,) and there were several teachers pushing kids back to their classrooms. 

“Stopping….’m stopping…” He panted, putting his hands up and sank back on his knees, staying over Drake as he ran his sleeve under his nose drawing a thick line of blood along it. “…stoppin…”  
Audrey watched as the kids dispersed, then pulled at his sleeve. “Nate…. Come on… let's go…” She said urgently, only wanting to get him in private, get him cleaned up, before she found out why he’d decided to beat his friend to a pulp. 

“Fucking…dick..” Nate spat blood at Drake then looked to her then up as he was grabbed off the floor by a teacher, Drake too, and lead to the office.   
She was pushed out the way as the teachers grabbed Nate and Drake, Nates hand grazing across her leg as he was hauled up, leaving a streak of blood across her jeans, and then someone's hand was on her arm, moving her back towards the classroom, and she angrily snatched it away, stalking back to class on her own. 

Drake sat next to Nate, a wad of cotton wool pressed to his nose, his hair sticking up on one side where he’d bled all over it. He jerked his leg nervously as they waited to get dragged over the coals.  
Nate had been given a cold compress to hold on the side of his head where Drake had cracked him good, splitting the skin.   
He had nothing to say to Drake, and any attempt of chat went ignored for now. If Drake wanted to talk, fine, let him talk. Didn’t mean he wanted to hear a damn word that came out of his mouth. Drake was fucking stoned..no, more than that, he was two bumps in by now..he could tell by the nervous shifts in his body.   
He was fucked. They both were. 

Nate was waiting outside at lunch time, looking out for Audrey to see if she’d come out looking for him. He needed to change clothes, take a fucking pain pill and probably just go to sleep.   
He was in it deep, but he didn’t care. Not anymore.   
“Hey….”   
She found him sat on the wall by his car, and crouched in front of him, pressing her hand to his face and frowning a little at the mess Drake had made.  
“Give me your keys… I’ll drive you home…”   
Nate looked up and didn’t even argue, just handed them to her and moved round to the passenger side, curling up in the seat a little while he waited for her to start driving.   
Audrey glanced over at him, worried by his silence, but she could see the large bump on his head, and he probably felt like shit, so she turned front, adjusting the seat and mirrors, and drove out of the school and back to his house.

She’d put him to bed, like a child, and was searching for a medicine kit or something, finally finding some pain meds in his parents bathroom, along with a plethora or prescription drugs.  
Someone was on a lot, she mused, gently rattling a bottle, then put them back, grabbing a glass of water and heading back to his room.

Audrey got him to sit up to wash the meds down with water, then let him lie down again.  
For a moment, she just stood there, shifting a little from foot to foot.  
“Do you want me to stay? Or… I can go if you wanna be alone…”   
“Stay.” He whispered, almost forcefully and reached for her hand, taking it in his. “Please…please stay with me..” 

He didn’t want to be alone, not when he felt this shitty and certainly not when he wasn't sure who would be coming home to find him in this state. On second thought..maybe she shouldn’t be here if anyone came home…  
She nodded, kicking her shoes off and getting on the bed with him, shifting up so his arms went round her middle, his face pressed to her chest as she carefully put her own arms around him, stroking at his hair, kissing into it, whispering it would be ok.   
Nate let her hold him while he calmed down inside, while he worked on letting his mind settle enough to talk evenly. 

“Drake..” he started, reaching up and holding her hand on his head. “He’s wrong..he’s wrong about you..you’re twice the girl any one of those fucking WASP bitches are….”   
He took a deep breath, stopping short and coughing into her chest with a pained groan. “..fuck….Aud..I need a smoke, or something…shit..”   
He hated the tightness in his chest, the way his eye felt like they were going to bulge from his head..  
“He’s a piece of shit…he thinks that because he’s got all this money…” He started again and sighed, relaxing against her. “I couldn’t let him talk about you like he was…”

“You don’t need to smoke… you need to sleep.” Audrey said simply, threading her fingers through his when he placed his hand over hers.   
She didn’t need to ask what Drake had said, her imagination was plenty good enough.  
“….And fuck him… Shouldn’t think he said anything about me, ain’t already been said before.” She shrugged, curling around him a little and kissing into his hair. “Protecting my honor huh?…. Not sure I got any left to protect.”   
She tried to laugh but he didn’t laugh back, only held her tighter.

“Is your head ok? Maybe I should take you to the ER…”  
“I’m not going to the ER.” He shook his head then instantly regretted it when the room spun and he got dizzy.   
“Sleep, I want to sleep…but it hurts too much, I can't.”   
He didn't want to say that he felt like, if he did fall asleep, he would never wake up..he couldn't put that on her plus he really didn't need to go to the ER. He’d walked away from worse fights..though he thought this was probably the biggest one him and Drake had ever had.   
Over a goddamn girl…fuck.   
“Just lay with me…ok?”

She nodded softly, kissing his forehead.  
“OK Nate…. For as long as you want…. I’ll stay right here…”  
Fuck it.  
If she broke curfew, she broke curfew… She wasn’t about to leave him here alone.  
All this money, and no one home to look after their son, she marveled, holding him tighter. 

Nate fell asleep surprisingly quickly, his tight clutch around her waist turned soft and his breathing was shallower, still grainy from the dried blood in his nose, but it was steady. 

“Who’re you?”   
Kyle was standing in the doorway, eyeing Audrey up as she lay in bed with his clearly beaten brother. He looked almost like Nate only his hair was trimmed nice and his clothes LOOKED like he was rich. 

Audrey startled at the voice, sitting up carefully so she didn’t disturb Nate.  
“Oh… Hi… I’m Audrey…” She gave him a half smile when he looked at her blankly. “I’m a friend of Nates… You’re Kyle, right? Mr Wiggles owner?”

She didn’t say girlfriend.  
Kyle obviously had no idea who she was, and maybe Nate didn’t want anyone knowing about her, not really.   
Kyle looked from her to his brother then back. “Yeah..that’s me…” He snotted and sniffed. “He need something? I can nip one of my moms narcos if he does..”  
“He’s sleeping now… probably have a hell of a headache when he wakes up.”  
She felt awkward, like she’d been caught out doing something.  
“If you’re here now… maybe I should go..” She said hesitantly. Not wanting to, but, it wasn’t her house, she had no right to be here.   
“Stay or go..I don’t really give a shit either way..” Kyle shrugged and turned to go down the hall.

“oh..kay…” She whispered to herself as he left the room.  
Obviously Kyle wasn’t about to play nurse, so she’d stay, fuck it, if his parents came home she’d just give them the same line. Concerned school friend.

Audrey sat herself up to lean against the headboard, feeling Nate shift in his sleep so his head lay on her lap, his arms around her legs.   
Yup.  
Totally looked like friends,  
She let her hand rest on his head, gently stroking through his hair, and tilted her head back, watching the sun move across the sky through the window. 

Nate stirred after a while and rolled to his side, cuddling back against her legs and took a deep breath, groaning as he let it out.  
“Hey.” She said softly, resting her hand on his head as he squeezed her. “How you feeling?…. Your brother’s home by the way…”  
“M'ok…” he groaned, taking a deep breath. “Fuck my head….”  
He definitely felt worse for falling asleep, but it was unavoidable with the beating he’d taken. He imagined Drake no better off, probably worse.  
“What he say to you? I’ll fucking kill him if he was an ass…”  
“Easy there Prince Charming..” She smiled, pressing her hands to his forehead, leaning forwards to kiss his head. “He was perfectly civil, asked if you needed some meds, then said he didn’t care if i stayed, then left…So no need for murder.“   
He closed his eyes against her lips and sighed. “Fine…no murder. In too much shit to get away with it today anyways…” he muttered. “Where’s little pest at?…”  
“I dunno, his room I think? I didn’t hear him go downstairs anyway.”

She sat back up, leaning against the headboard, her fingers gently playing through his hair.   
“Do…. Do you need me to go if people are coming home.” She asked softly, not wanting him to get in any more trouble than he already was. She had enough money for a cab.  
“I don’t know yet…” Nate answered, swallowing hard as he did and just letting himself relax under Audrey’s gentle touches. “They called my mom..they called my dad..He’s not thrilled but I don’t think he’ll halt his meetings for it…mom might be coming home so..” He half shrugged.  
“It’s not my first school fight…won’t be my last.”

She stayed silent, just concentrated on stroking him gently, wanting to sooth him.  
Who was she kidding.  
In the end, this wouldn’t be anything more than a few days, maybe a few weeks. What did she think would happen? That she’d be casually accepted? Not even Drake, as low and stoned as he was, liked her, saw her as trash.  
She’d go.  
Maybe he’d go back to sleep in which case, she’d sneak out, call a cab to meet her down the road.  
She didn’t want to embarrass him, or herself. 

When she didn’t say anything nate worried that maybe he’d fucked it all up by getting into the stupid fight, maybe she thought it was stupid to fight over her and maybe it was.  
Drake was an ass as a rule, but it grated on Nate’s nerves to no end, and him insulting audrey like he did, comparing her worth to that of those others..  
He’d been forced on privileged girls, they were all the same. High maintenance, prude, selfish little bitches. He wanted girls like Audrey.  
Real girls.

“…do you wanna go?…I wouldn’t blame you if Ya did..,”  
“I don’t wanna go.” She said quietly, sighing deeply. “Don’t see anyone else here making sure you’re not concussed and shit.” She half smiled.  
“Do you want me to get you anything?… if I can’t find it here I can go to the store?”   
He was relieved that she said she’d stay. He didn’t think he wanted to be alone this time, even if Kyle was home..  
“My pipe…pleeease..it in my bag, this fucking ibuprofen isn’t working for shit..and unlike my mother I don’t feel like I need a goddamn narcotic for a headache..”  
“Fine…” She rolled her eyes a little and stood up, moving over to his bag and crouching down to root through it.  
“I’m not gonna touch anything disgusting in here am I?” She grimaced at the slightly gritty, greasy feel of the inside of it.   
“Nothing but an English paper I have to write..” he shrugged and watched her a minute before closing his eyes.  
“I'm glad you’re here…”  
“You are?” He looked up and smiled over at him, even though he wasn’t watching her.  
Finally finding his pipe and lighter, she brought them over, then went to his door, closing and locking it, just in case his parents walked in.

She watched him sit up carefully, leaning back against the headboard as he set up.  
“I’m glad I’m here too.” She said quietly.  
“Yeah m'glad..” Nate mumbled as he futzed around with packing a fresh pinch in the bowl. “No one in the world I wanna see right now more than you.” He smiled lopsided at her then pressed the glass chamber between his lips and flicked his light.  
She smiled back, sitting up on the end of the bed, crossing her legs under her and resting her elbows on her knees, her chin propped on one hand as she watched him.  
“Shoulda see the other guy huh?” She half smiled. “Bet you fucked up Drakes face for a while.” she gently popped her fist forwards, whispering pow… then chuckling to herself.  
Nate laughed and nodded as he exhaled, tipping his head back against the back of the bed. “Yeah…re-broke his nose for him..pretty sure we’re done, who knows..” he shrugged and set up for another hit. “..He’s had a shitty attitude ever since he started getting with the “in” crowd..“ he breathed in then held it, closing his eyes.  
”..He’s a pretentious prick with a big bank account, no one special..his dads in stock and just happens to be on a high right now. He’s a fucking idiot if he doesn’t invest back in, put it in a fucking savings account at Least…“

She listened to the way he talked about saving money, how the rich moved, and it was like an alien language.   
“You’re not with the in crowd?” she asked idly, watching him smoke, and shaking her head when he offered her the pipe.  
“Hardly…” nate snorted, leaning back more and sighing now his head started to feel lighter, not like there was a ton of gravel rolling around in it.  
“I'm the fucking governors kid…you’d think that means I’ve got everyone paying me to eat my shit…but Nah..I don’t want any of that..I wanna be me..”  
She wrinkled her nose at his creative metaphor, then sighed softly, running her hands through her hair.  
“It’s getting late…. Do you think anyone is coming home? Only… if not… I can… stay if you want.”

Nate looked at the clock on his phone then sighed as he scrolled through his texts.  
“I’d better take you back….moms on her way..like, an hour ago so..” He scowled.  
Audrey laughed a little, leaning forwards to kiss his brow.  
“You’re absolutely not driving me anywhere. I can call a cab. Go to sleep.”  
She, moved off the bed to collect her things.  
“Guess I won’t see you in the morning…. text me tomorrow… if you feel ok?”   
You not taking a cab…” Nate sighed and sat up more. “Take my car…or if you can’t I’ll have Kyle drive you home..I’m suspended for a week so I won’t be at school but I don’t suspect my mom will be sticking around for too long so I can come drive you and shit..”  
“I’m not taking your car!” She shook her head with a chuckle. “In my neighborhood? No way I’m parking it there overnight…. I highly doubt your brother wants to drive me… cabs fine, honest.”

Audrey hopped back up on the bed, kneeling next to him, smiling as she took his face in her hands and kissed him gently.  
“I’m a big girl… I can take care of myself.”  
“Fine…” Nate sighed…too tired now to really argue much about the matter. “I want you to text me when you get there Ok?…and every minute you can after…”  
She pouted, nodding with mock attentiveness. “Sure thing Dad.”   
Kissing his nose, she moved away, then picked up her pack, unlocking the door and leaving him to sleep, dialing for a cab as she made her way downstairs. 

Nate watched her leave in the cab through his window and sighed, hating to see her go.  
He hated even more that his mom was coming home, not so much that she was..just under the circumstances…she wouldn’t be pleasant to deal with.  
He moved from his room and down the hall, knocking on Kyle’s door until he answered.  
“What..” he frowned then looked Nate over.  
“Mom’s coming home, maybe clean your room a little…go start dinner..I need to shower and change then I’ll be down to help.” Nate smiled a little then moved to his bathroom while Kyle scrambled to clean.  
\------------------------------------------  
My cab driver is Ahmed Klatchadorian. Audrey messaged.  
He has six children and his eldest just graduated from MIT  
He also really like bangra, which he’s played constantly on the way home.  
She chuckled, sending him the text and hoping he was resting.

Nate smiled when he got out of the shower and looked at the texts and sent a smily face back.  
\--------------------------------  
When she got home, she dumped her pack at the end of her bed and flopped down, lifting her leg, bending it at the knee, she frowned at the blood stain still there, then rolled her eyes.   
Good luck getting that out. She sighed a little then took out her phone.  
Home.  
You sleeping now? Xx  
\-----  
good. Ahmed didnt kidnap u  
not sleepn.   
makn dinner  
\----  
Audrey frowned a little.  
I thought your mom was coming home? Isn;t she going to make you dinner? You could hardly stand earlier   
\----  
Im fine nw.   
rrly.   
It wasn’t a lie, but he honestly could do with more pain meds and a good night sleep.  
Wasn’t an option. Not now.  
\-----  
I can practically smell the bullshit from here.  
please go to bed, get some sleep? Or… you want me to come get you… sure I could find a car.  
She most certainly could find a car, especially an older model where she could still use a coat hanger and a little steep road.

It didn’t matter if it was bullshit or not. His mom wasnt someone to mess with. And when she came home she expected to be wonderful mother she thought she was.   
bby rlly im ok  
gnna eat thn get sum sleep. prmis <3  
\-----  
Something didn’t sit right with her, but there wasn’t anything she could do about it, just sigh and tap out another text.  
Ok. You do that.  
Take care. I’m worried about you.  
talk to you tomorrow xxxxxx  
\-----------------------------  
It was around one in the morning when Nate was finally able to go back to his room and lay down. His mom had come home as they were cooking, and though she wasn't displeased with what they made it “wasn't anything like they served in Rio.”  
in bed nw..  
u wnt me 2 cum get u 4 school tmorw?  
He doubted she was awake, but he hoped she at least appreciated the thought.   
\-------  
Audrey slapped her hand under her pillow at her phone, thinking it was her alarm, then squinted at it, realizing it had just buzzed.  
Ducking her head under the covers so no one would wake up and see her on her phone, she texted him back.  
Nate. It’s 1 am.  
You said you were going to bed like four hours ago!  
\-----  
ll im goin now so..  
u want a ride?  
Nate sighed, closing is eyes as he settled down into the covers.   
\------  
If you wake up in time.  
I would love you to drive me.  
Goodnight Nate xxx


	11. Jane finds God

Nate hadn’t slept much, but he set an alarm for himself so he could get up and drive to the house so he could take Audrey to school anyways.

Audrey raised an eyebrow when she got outside and saw the car sat there, then slipped in next to him, looking at him critically.  
“You look like shit.” She said simply, then grinned at him.  
“Sooo… You’re suspended huh?… Funny that… cus I don’t much feel like going to school today… wanna go somewhere fun with me?”  
Nate offered her a half hearted smile then shook his head. “Cant..I gotta get back home before mom gets up, I’m grounded apparently..” He shrugged then pulled off from the curb.  
“Would have loved to though..”

“Oh…. ok.” Her smile slipped as he drove away from the building, and she turned in her seat to look out the windscreen again, deflated.  
She’d wanted to take him out and make him laugh, wanted to distract herself at the same time. “Another time maybe.” She said softly, chewing on the side of her thumb as she looked out the window.  
“Yeah..” Nate nodded and glanced across at her. Why was she upset? He was the one grounded. Shit he was risking his ass even driving her to school, much less what would happen if he just wasn't home all day.  
He was suspended, so there would be shit to do around the house.  
“If I’m ‘good’ for the next couple of days she’s gonna leave again..so after that I’m all yours…” He offered, smiling over at her.  
When they drew up to school, she sat for a moment, finally looking across at him, her gaze flitting over the bruising and cuts, then leaned over to kiss him, mindful of where he might hurt, her kiss light and delicate against his mouth.  
“I don’t want you to get in trouble.” She said quietly, pulling away a little. “I’ll get the bus home…. I’ll get it to school tomorrow.”  
“But then how will I see you?” Nate chuckled and smiled at her. “I mean, this eyes kinda swollen shut as it is, but I still got this one I can look at you with..still pretty.”  
She huffed a soft laugh, then turned serious, running her finger just under the gash under his eye. “I don’t need picking up tomorrow afternoon anyway.” She said. “I got a social worker thing.”  
She flicked her gaze up to meet his, smiling apologetically.  
“Guess you’ll have to find someone else to look at for a couple of days.” She half laughed.  
With a deep sigh, Nate leaned across and kissed her quick, keeping his hand on her cheek. “I’ll text you, and you can call and whatever if you can…it’s just ‘till my mom leaves..ok?..few days..tops.” He promised, kissing her again, harder this time, with more meaning, like he wanted to prove that point to her that he could make that promise to her..that she could count on him..  
“..A few days…” He nodded and kissed her again, softer this time, with a sigh. “Take my pack of smokes..wont get to share with ya till she’s gone.”

Audrey furrowed her brow, half whining softly when he kissed her hard, and she felt stupid for almost feeling like she was leaving, that it wouldn’t be a few days, and how did that happen? How was it that all of a sudden he was so much a part of her life that the through of a day or two without him, hurt.  
When he handed her the smokes, she thought about refusing, but then pocketed them with a nod, knowing she’d appreciate them tomorrow.  
“You take care… ok?” She said softly, pressing another small kiss to his mouth, then smiled as she grabbed her pack, leaving the car and heading inside.

* * *

 

Drake was sprawled out on his bed, his phone on his chest.  
Everything hurt like a bitch, his nose well and truly fucked this time. He was gonna have to get surgery on it for sure unless he wanted to look like a low ranking boxer.  
More than that though, was the low level anger that coursed through his body, the sight of Nate straddled across him as he hit him, how he’d wanted to really hurt him as much as Nate seemed to have wanted to hurt Drake.  
Nate had about 20 lb on him though, and at least 3″ in height, he was never going to win in a fight, not really, but then, who needed to be able to swing a punch when you were a clever motherfucker?  
He picked up his phone and scrolled through the contacts, pausing when he got to her number, the one he’d swiped from Nates phone the other day when he passed out at his.  
At the time, he didn’t know what he wanted it for, only that it might be handy to have, and now he smiled, putting the phone back on his chest and closing his eyes, composing the text he wanted to send, in his head, so that it would be perfect.

* * *

 

With a wave Nate pulled away from the school and sped back home. It would be him and his mom..no Kyle as a buffer between since he’ll be in school, and he didn’t know how he was going to handle the next few days.  
When he got home he text Audrey to let her know he was thinking about her then instead of going back to bed, he went to the kitchen to start making something for breakfast.  
Audrey didn’t get his text till lunch time when she turned her phone back on, wandering down towards the bleachers, and she smiled, sending one back.  
“thinking of you too. Gonna go sit in your spot and smoke your cigarettes and think about you some more ;) xxx

“dear God..I need lke 4 rn  
hvnt had nything tday….”  
Nate was sat with his mom in the living area watching tv with her. She’d insisted on it so she could keep an eye in him so he didn’t sneak off and get into more trouble.

“ Poor baby.  
I’ll smoke an extra just for you lol  
Miss you though. Not the same here on my own :(“

“next week. I’ll b ther  
its gnna b a lng 1” Nate messaged back.

Audrey sighed deeply.  
Why did a week always feel so long when you had to wait for something you wanted, but flew by when something you really, really didn’t want was coming up.  
Her fingers paused over the phone as she thought what to say.  
It was hard to get across what she wanted via text. If he was here, she could hug him, or kiss him, or even just hold his hand, words didn’t seem enough somehow.  
All the take cares and I miss yous, just didn’t feel big enough anymore.  
“ Riding the bus home tonight,  
Can I call you tomorrow, after I see my mom?”

“Ya. I’ll b arond  
so bord..cnt evn smoke”

“Jesus Nate, just go lean out your bedroom window  
Or take a shower and smoke in there with the fan going.  
use some initiative ;) x”

He wished it was that easy.  
“Ya. Gud idea, gess i nvr thot of it.  
how’s class”

“Boring.  
Don’t know why I bother. Not like I’m gonna graduate or anything”

“thts depressing  
u gtta grduat”  
That was drilled in his head. Graduate, go to college, get a good job. He doubted he’d go to college, not that he couldn’t afford a good one, he just didn’t get the hype or point. Maybe it was a shitty way to think but he didn’t care. Right now he just wanted to survive high school then he was out.

“Nope.  
Don’t gotta. What am I gonna do? Go to college? lol  
Not smart enough to graduate, so why bother. “

What did she want him to say? She WAS smart enough? How did he know, they’d only known each other a couple weeks..not like they shared report cards..  
“wll thts up 2 u.  
join the wrk forc  
becum the presidnt lol  
take over the world”

“Just gotta find my evil minions then I’m gonna ;)”  
It was up to her, and she held onto that.  
One of the few things she had any control over.

“can I be a minion?  
I cn fllow directions  
pls we cn fuck…”

“You can be my special minion  
You’ll have to stay chained to my super villain bed tho  
That ok with you?”

Nate smirked and chuckled, glancing up to see his mom side glace at him. God she as weird..  
“kinky  
I like!  
long as we gt 2 switch sumtimes”

“only if you’re very good ;)  
Crap, gotta go.  
Text me later?  
Xxxxx”

“ will  
later bby”

 

* * *

 

Audrey trudged back to school, only going because she needed to get the bus home after. Time to sit in another lesson she had no interest in, then go home and not do any homework, and go lay on her bed staring at the ceiling as though she could burn a hole through it.  
Scary though it was to think she’d have to leave soon, the idea was growing more appealing.

* * *

 

Nate finally managed to escape the glaring clutches of his mother long enough to sneak a couple cigarettes and a hit off his pipe. Letting each inhalation sit extra long in his lunch before pushing it out.  
His mom wasn’t terrible, just…strange. She had a certain way she had to have everything down, OCD in her mannerisms and if something was out of place she threw a fit.  
Nate constantly wondered if she was a few card short of a deck then he just figured her narcotic use was half of it, though he also wondered why she needed to take them every day..didn’t matter to him he guessed. She was gone a lot, trips, spas, she didn’t work a lot, didn’t need to. She was there for when they all had to show up for one of his dad’s speeches or town shit..  
Fuck he hated those. Dressing up, smiling like the good boy everyone thought him to be.  
He stayed out of the public's eyes which suited him fine, went to this stupid low rated high school to keep a low profile, and as long as he didn’t flaunt himself his bank account stayed full and active.  
Being the governor's son meant nothing to him. It was only a title.

* * *

 

“I’m bored and lonely  
talk to me before I do something dumb.” Audrey tapped out.

“Im sumthin dumb  
u culd cum do me?”

“You’re funny.  
So wanna tho ;)  
Wish you were here.  
Well, not HERE, but yanno what I mean xx”

“soon. Nxt week.  
well hve a bunch of fun.”

She sighed, putting her phone to the side.  
She wanted to keep texting him, she damn well wasn’t gonna call him, not when her room mates were in here, but it was hard. She was distracted, worried about tomorrow, and Nate didn’t seem that into it, but maybe that was just paranoia.  
“ Yeah. I know. “

“gnna have to cook dinner soon.  
mom’s bein all psycho on me so if I drp off She’s chained me in the basement”

“ Probably get on like a house on fire with my mom then.  
Sorry, that sucks.  
I’ll catch you later then <3”  
Audrey could hear the house gearing up for dinner.  
She wouldn’t eat, couldn’t bear the idea. Her stomach was already tied in knots at the thought of tomorrow.

After dinner Nate went to his room to “work on his paper” and lay out on his bed, fingers hovering over the keypad on his phone.  
“dinners dne, moms hooked on reruns, boooooord”

“Hey.”  
She rolled over onto her back and held the phone up to see better.  
“Everyones eating here, I’m in bed though, need an early night.  
What you gonna do about your boredom?”

“dnno. Help me think?”

“ God I dunno  
watch tv, read a book, jerk off? The world is your oyster.”

“2 tired 2 jerk off  
I dnt hve a book 2 read  
guess I cud actully write my paper…  
the horror”

Audrey sighed, pressing her phone to her head and closing her eyes a moment before typing again.  
“I’m sorry. I’m not good company tonight  
I think I’m just gonna sleep.”  
She knew it was stupidly early, but she’d spent most of the day getting herself worked up about tomorrow and now she was dog tired.

Nate frowned a little at the text, hoping that everything was ok at that place she was staying, or that his fight with Drake hadn’t sway her in the different direction with him..  
“k  
I hope u hve a gud night.  
miss u”

“ Miss you too.  
I’ll call you tomorrow when I’m done.”

* * *

 

Silvia had driven her to the court building, and now she sat next to her, fussing at her, patting her hand, telling her it would all be fine.  
But it was far from fine.  
Audrey slouched down in the chair, one leg cocked over the other, chewing the side of her thumb raw, and when she heard the door open behind them, it took all her self control not to look back.  
“Audrey?” The dark haired woman sat in front of her was like an AU version of the woman she knew. Her hair was cut, mid bob length, her clothes conservative, every inch the suburban mom.  
Audrey glared at her.  
It was all an act. A cruel act to try and throw her off.  
“Well! Look at you… I barely recognised you!” She stammered. “You look so well!”  
“You only used to say that if you wanted to call someone fat to their face.” Audrey said, ignoring the uncomfortable glances everyone exchanged.  
Silvia patted her hand again, and Audrey wished she’d cut it the fuck out.  
Her mom was flanked by a social worker and lawyer, and as soon as Audreys social worker joined them, they got down to brass tacks.  
“Can the record show that Mrs Clarkson is here on a supervised visitation with her daughter, Audrey Irvine…”  
“Who’s Mrs Clarkson….” Audrey interrupted, sitting up a bit straighter.  
“Uh… me..” Her mom smiled. “I got married …. I’m Jane Clarkson now…”  
She slipped back down in her seat and chewed on her thumb.  
“Gotta a boy… Little brother for you Audie… we tell him all about you…”  
She laughed then, startling her mother, making Silvia look at her askance.  
“Are you fucking serious? Did you make me come here just so you could tell me about your fantastic new family? How old is he?”  
Jane swallowed, glancing at her social worker who just nodded gently.  
“uh.. nearly four…”  
“Four huh? Aww… You got him cooking up for you yet?”  
“I don’t… I don’t do that anymore… I’ve been clean a long time… since prison.”  
“Well good for you.”  
Audrey folded her arms over her chest and stared her down, this slight, edgy woman, nervously clutching her purse.  
There was a silence that settled over the room, which the lawyer broke with a small cough.  
“Mrs Clarkson wanted to re-establish contact with her eldest child, on account of the fact she’s now well settled, in a stable relationship and holding down a job, her parenting’s been closely monitored by social workers. She has a strong connection with her local church and participates in many voluntary activities…”  
“So?”  
The lawyer glanced over at Audrey, and cleared his throat again.  
“Mrs Clarkson would like it noted that she understands that Audrey’s future may be uncertain after her eighteenth birthday, that she would have to leave the care home and enter a homeless shelter while she looked for work, and she would also like it noted that she wants to re-establish contact with the hope of reconnecting with her daughter and bringing her home to live with her family.”  
All the blood drained from Audrey’s face, certainly enough for Silvia to look alarmed.  
“She gonna faint!… You gonna faint chica?”  
Audrey slapped her hand away angrily.  
“You’re kidding….. You’re…. Fuck!” She stood up, moving towards the door. “I’m not moving in with you! I don’t even want to be here! I’m not living in the same fucking house…. with some random kid and a husband, because I am painfully aware of your type when it comes to men, Jane…. and I don’t wanna be 100 miles near anyone you see fit to bang…”  
“Audrey… he’s not like that…” She said quietly.  
She shook her head, feeling tears welling and trying to swallow them down.  
“You fucked up… and you can’t fix that.”  
“Audrey… please, understand… it’s painful …. this is very hard for me…” Jane said tearfully, then shrank back when Audrey turned to glare at her.  
“Oh!… Oh I’m sorry… I had NO idea it was painful for you Jane… Because its a fucking walk in the park for me! And if you make me go live with you, you’re gonna undo all that therapy they made me do with fucking dolls…”  
“I had nothing to do with that..” She said quickly, shooting a panicked glance at the social worker next to her. “I was cleared of that… I had no idea….”  
Audrey laughed.  
“Sure Jane. No idea. Whatever helps you sleep at night. Are we done?”  
“Until next time…” The lawyer said tiredly.  
Silvia shot Jane a look that could almost be thought of as unprofessional, then ushered Audrey out the room.

On the drive home she stayed silent, ignoring Silvias attempts to get her to talk, and when they got back, she locked herself in the bathroom, snatching down one of the big bath towels from the shelf and holding it to her face while she screamed into it until her throat hurt, then sat on the side of the tub, trying to calm down.  
Sniffing hard, she grabbed her phone, hesitating before, dialing Nate, clearing her throat and taking a deep breath before he answered.

* * *

 

Nate was playing COD when the phone rang. He kept it t his chest so when she called like she said she would he would feel the vibrations.  
“Hey baby, how’d it go?” He answered, trapping his phone between his ear and his shoulder as he continued to play.

For a moment she couldn’t speak, physically couldn’t. her throat closed up, her mouth opened but nothing came out, then she swallowed hard and felt something click,m almost painfully in her chest.  
“Can I see you?” She said quietly, her voice hitching near the end.  
It was dumb to ask, he wouldn’t be able to get away, shit… he couldn’t even smoke without his mom on his ass right now.  
“You know what… forget I asked… You’ll get in trouble…”

Her silence worried him and just as he was about to ask if she was there she spoke and it almost killed him to hear. Her voice sounded rough, like she’d been crying and was trying desperately not to let it show.  
“Audrey…” He breathed, licking out over his lips then tossed his game controller to the side and grabbed the phone properly. “..I don’t care about getting into trouble..you want me to come get you?…”  
He was sure he could sneak away, his mom was too busy doing whatever and Kyle was shut up in his room. If he asked he was sure he’d cover for him..  
“I’m coming to get you..don’t argue.”  
He was already down the stairs and with a look around the corner to make sure his mom was still busy he slipped out the door.  
“Five minutes…then I’m there..”  
He hung up then once he got in his car he texted his brother to tell him he was going out, it was important and to cover for him if mom asked where he was.  
Audrey was upset, and no matter what, he wanted to be there to at least try and help.


	12. Pull a lawyer out my ass

Audrey waited outside the building for him, smoking with shaking fingers, not caring if anyone saw,  _ daring  _ someone to come out and yell at her… she didn’t think they would… Not today.

She shouldn’t have called him… she should have texted him and said everything was fine and left it at that. Now he faced being in even deeper shit because she was selfish and had wanted to see him.

When his car pulled up, she froze, watching him as he got out and walked towards her as she dropped her smoke, and it was the expression on his face that made her break, full of concern but not pity, she hated pity. Even when she was small there seemed to be only two ways anyone would look at her, with mild disgust, or with pity, and it had been the only thing on Silvias face as she drove her home.

Like she was looking at a three legged kitten and not a girl about to scream with rage.

When he was close enough, she pushed herself off the wall and thrust her arms around his middle, burying her head against his chest, finally, letting herself cry. 

 

Nate’s greeting was cut short when she ran into him, tightening her arms around and pushing the air from him for a second. Then she started to cry. 

And it was  _ then _ that he realized he had  **no** idea what to do. 

Crying girls weren’t his thing, he didn’t know how to console someone when they were upset, how could he when he himself wasn't even coddled as a child. 

“Baby..ah, shit..whats wrong baby?” He stammered out and put his arms around her in a big hug, pressing his face to her neck. “What happened?”

 

Audrey angrily bit back on her tears as she shook her head.

She couldn’t talk yet, not while she was so angry. She could feel herself shaking, and it took all her self-control not to lash out, and he’d never realize, she was using every single fucking trick her therapist had taught her to get a lid on it.

Pulling back just slightly, looking at his chest, she took a deep breath, steadying her voice.

“Can you take me to the haunted house?”

Nate frowned in confusion but nodded anyways. “Yeah, course…wherever you wanna go Ok?”

He tucked her hair back behind her ears and wiped at her tear stained cheeks. “Anywhere you wanna go..”

* * *

 

She didn’t say a word all the way there, but at some stage, she reached across for his hand, lacing their fingers. She knew he wanted to talk to her, to find out what was going on, but he was perfect, he just nodded and drove her up to the house, only letting go of her hand when they had to go up the bumpy lane.

When they arrived there, she got out, walking straight towards the house, not bothering to check if he was following or not.

Standing inside the main hall, Audrey looked around, spying the piece of balustrade she’d kicked off the banister when they’d come that night, and picked it up, hefting it in her hands, double handed like a baseball bat, she swung it wide, smashing the already broken mirror above the large fireplace, then moved further in, looking for more things to break.  

She was smashing things when he walked in and at first he was alarmed, a little frightened even.

This chick was upset, crying, and now she was breaking shit with a rage he’d only seen in the movies.

He’d let her to it, sitting on the steps and watching as she destroyed room after room.

Anything she found that could be broken, she broke it. Fixtures and fittings, pictures already hanging by a thread from walls, the old glass gas lights, rotten furniture, she broke it all until her shoulders screamed in pain, and the breath heaved from her lungs.

 

On shaky legs, she came back down the main stairs to sit heavily next to Nathaniel, who simply watched her, a little warily she thought.

Couldn’t be helped.

She let the balustrade fall between her legs, and fished about in her pocket for the cigarettes… Nates cigarettes, lighting two, with a steadier hand now, and passing him one.

“Wanna hear an interesting fact?” She said after her first drag, blowing smoke away from him considerately.

“The first therapist I had, when Jane… My Mom… when she went to prison… he said,  _ Audrey! There’s two types of kids I see in my office who’ve been through this kind of abuse and neglect… I see the ones that shut off from the world, and I see the angry ones, the ones that wanna kill _ . And he said…. It was good to be the angry type… cus… it’s an emotion, and it's huge and it fucks you up… but it’s someplace to start… yanno?”

She felt her voice waiver, and pressed her lips together, waiting for it to pass.

 

Nate took the smoke but he didn’t out it to his lips, simply let it dangle between his fingers as she spoke.

“…I'm sorry..” he said quietly, biting at his lip. “…I know that means shit right now but..I am..and I wish I knew what to say, but I don’t and I just feel worthless….”

“It’s ok…” She shrugged. “You didn’t sign up for this shit.”

She took another drag and blew the smoke hard towards her feet, her head dropped low between her shoulders.

“She wants me back. Got herself this nice shiny new family and wants me to go live with them.”

Nate frowned and shook his head. “You don’t wanna..they can’t force it, fight it.”

 

He didn’t know what went on between her and her mom, but it was obviously no fucking good and who was he to judge.

“Can’t you go to court? Get someone to represent you?”

“What am I gonna fight it with? Oh yeah… Let me pull a lawyer out my ass…”

She knew she sounded mean, but she didn’t care.

“Don’t matter anyway… if they try to make me go I’ll just run… No one's gonna look too hard for me.” 

Nate rose his eyebrows quickly and looked off to the side, moving the smoke to his lips then and taking a drag, thinking about how he could help.

“..you’ll probably just tell me to fuck off, but I could get you a lawyer…”

If she said no and just chose to run, what could he do to stop her? Nothing…it was her choice and if she was willing to leave it all behind, leave him behind…so be it...

 

Audrey looked over at him then, and god, she had to bite down her first response, which was to laugh and tell him she didn’t need a damn thing from anyone, but luckily, a small calm part of her brain told her he was only trying to help, that he cared enough to try and help.

“I could get a lawyer…. but you know what? Her lawyer looks pretty fancy and what they gonna do? I’m being offered a stable home with a family as opposed to being a fucking homeless shelter the day after I turn 18…. Who’d you think is gonna win? It's a waste of money…”

 

“A simple fuck off would have sufficed.” He mumbled and took another solid drag off his smoke and looked away again.

No matter what, she was the type who’d reject a fucking cheeseburger if it was handed to her with a smile even if she hadn’t eaten in a fucking month just on principle.

Well, sometimes…principle get you killed.

“..and if you were going to a homeless shelter? Would they think differently?…maybe maybe not..but at least you can say you tried.”

#

She narrowed her eyes when he said that, when she’d tried to explain and he thought she was just brushing him off.

“Oh…. ok fine… its FINE Nate… I’m sorry I’m  _ so _ fucking dumb that I don’t roll over on my back because you wanna throw some cash at this situation.. I’m SO dumb for trying to explain how the real world fucking works… and you know? Maybe, one day, people will stop treating me like a fucking dog in a pound… Oh Lord! Come look at this sweet puppy! Mind her now! She bites! never mind, we’ll just fucking DUMP her again, better luck next time folks….”

She stood up, walking back up the stairs.

“Fuck it… I’m just gonna live here now…. So don’t worry about me at all, I’ll be fine… just go home…”   

 

“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Nate half laughed and stood to watch her walk away from him. “Are you seriously pissed at me for trying to help?….Fuck….seriously? You say it like I DON’T know how that real world works, like Im sooo absorbed in my money, my DAD’S money..that I don’t k ow glen the fucking system works? Jesus Christ. Why don’t you just tell me how you really feel Aud.”

It was clear she hated handouts, fine, clear she didn’t want his fucking help, whatever. What did she want from him. He’d come and get her, brought her here offered his help, and now he was being shouted at.

She was mad, he got that, but all he wanted to do was help. That’s all he wanted.

 

“Nate…. you listen to me…” She said, eerily calm, pointing at him now. “I want you to think of the worst thing that ever happened to you… the most helpless you’ve ever felt, the most fucking physical pain you were ever in.. then times that by about 500 or so…. Oh… and imagine you’re about, say… six, maybe seven years old…. And then, I want you to imagine what it’s like to see the person who is meant to be the one person in the world you can count on sitting across a table from you. Only… you couldn’t count on her, cus she was a real fucking trooper at making sure she was turning a fucking blind eye, and she did that shit for _ years…. _ Now imagine she wants to say how sorry she is.. how HURT she is that you just can’t let her make amends…… Then tell me, you wouldn’t be a little angry and irrational and prone to lashing out at someone trying to help you…”

Her voice faded towards the end and her legs buckled softly, so she sat back down a few steps above him, defeated.

 

When he put his arms around her, she sagged, then slowly turned in his grasp, putting her arms round his middle, pressing her face to his chest with a sigh.

“I’m sorry….. I’m so sorry Nate… Its not your fault, I didn’t mean to be a bitch.”

For a minute he didn’t say anything, only held her a little tighter and stared off across the house, the shattered remains of a vase strew across the floor and an end table in a couple pieces.

She really did a number to the place.

 

“Nah, ya weren’t a bitch, just upset...can't blame ya.” He shrugged a little and looked down at her, kissing into the side of her head. “I shouldn’t have even suggested anything. I’m the one who should be sorry.”

She closed her eyes when he kissed the side of her head.

“I don’t want you to go… I was just… I didn’t mean it..”

“I didn’t plan on leaving..” He shrugged and kissed her again. “..and you’re not going to live here..its full of mice and ghosts..” He chuckled, trying to make a light joke. 

“Look, you’ll figure something out..this shit with your mom?..it sucks, I get it..and I wish there was a way I could help, but I can't…” 

“No ghosts here.” Audrey smiled against his chest. “Just creaky floors and overactive imaginations.”

She pulled back a little to press her fingers to her eyes, holding them there a second before sighing. He thought he knew the system, but he only knew it from his side, he didn’t live in it, hadn’t watched it grind down kids with nothing, with no one. Love could protect you, money certainly could, but if you had neither, you were royally screwed.

 

“”Why do you even want to be with me?” She asked, then felt presumptuous. Maybe he  _ didn’t  _ now she’d let slip a little about her past, maybe he’d see her as too damaged, as tainted.

“You could have any girl… You could find yourself one of those manic pixie girls who’s fun and kooky and everyone kinda likes…. and I just hate everyone and yell at you…” 

Nate blinked at the question then frowned a little in thought. 

Why  _ did  _ he want to be with her? She was by far the most..unique…girl he’d ever been with, and he’d been with some doozies. But there was something more to her, underneath the hard exterior and the dirty looks..there was a little girl, sad, desperately wanting to be happy…

He could understand that..to to her extent. He assumed when she was yelling at him about thinking back that she was talking about herself, but he didnt have the guts to ask more, not today.

 

He shrugged and pulled her back to his chest, kissing the top of her head. 

“I don’t want just any girl…other girls..they want my money, not me..”

“I don’t want your money.” Audrey whispered, then sighed. “… I mean… you  _ are _ handy for smokes…”

She looked up at him and gave him a small smile to show she was kidding, then her face turned serious again as she reached up to gently trace the bruising about his eye.

“You gonna get in trouble for coming out to me?”

 

She could joke all she wanted, and he’d let her..didn’t make it less true. He didn’t want the money, not really. He didn’t think it was worth it if he was honest. It was a lonely life..couldn’t talk to money, couldn’t fuck money…shit, his issues didn’t matter.

“Got Kyle to cover for me if mom decides to check on me, but Who knows. Probably…it’s whatever. Worth it to help you feel better.” He smiled, leaning in to press his lips against hers.

She tilted her head back to kiss him, then moved up on her knees on the step, so she was level with him, putting her hands to his face as she slowed their lips into a deeper kiss.

He’d made it alright. As alright as anyone could have anyway, he’d made it so her anger hadn’t spiraled upwards, and as her tongue pressed forwards to slide gently over his, she felt her shoulders relax for the first time in hours.

 

Every slow pressed turned harder, deeper, and his hands moved to cradle her head, pulling her against him more.

She was coping now, finding comfort in pleasure with he got, he related to that..fucking and weed..it was a recipe for happiness.

She wished they had somewhere to go. A house, a dorm room, somewhere private that wasn’t covered in dirt and rat shit, somewhere clean and warm where they could spend as much time as they wanted.

AS his arms went around her, as his hand pushed into her hair and their kissed became harder, right then, she would have given anything thing for that.

 

Nate pulled back, running his lips along her jaw before pressing back to kiss her neck.

“What do you want Audrey…I’ll do whatever you want…”

Audrey tipped her head sideways, sighing softly as he kissed at her neck, making her shiver a little.

“Lets go back to the car.” She breathed.

Nate nodded and kissed her once more before standing and helping her down the step, taking her hand as they went out and climbed in.

 

Once he was in, she moved over him, sitting on his lap, her hands pushing into his hair as she kissed him hard, feeling the air in the confined space start to thicken and heat.

He pushed his hands up the back of her shirt, lifting it off her and setting it aside, feeling her sides, her chest. She was all flushed, maybe with anger still, but definitely more with want.

His hands on her skin made her moan softly, and she moved her own to his shirt, unbuttoning it so she could slide her hands over his chest, then as she leaned in, kissing him hotly, she pushed a hand between them, moving across his crotch as he started to harden.

“…shit..” he breathed, taking his hands and moving them to her hips, pulling her along as she moved. He instantly thought -do I have anything in here..a condom, anything- then remembered there was a few in the glove box because Let’s face it, car sex was hot.

 

As he grabbed her hips, she rocked hard over him, reaching behind her to undo her bra, tossing it to one side as she kissed him across his jaw.

Nate groaned quietly, licking over his lips then breathed heavy through his mouth. His hands made their way up to cup her breast then ducked to mouth at them, squeezing lightlyas  She reached down to undo her jeans, moving back as far as she could, only a few inches, and awkwardly wriggled out of them, leaning forwards to kiss him again as she twisted and kicked them off.

“Here…hang on a second…” Nate laughed a little and reached around her to flip the steering wheel up and push the seat back as far as it could go, giving her a little extra room to move. “There’s a condom in the glove box..grab it.”

As she reached across for it, she saw him lift his hips, working his own jeans down a little, and handing him the rubber, she pressed her mouth to his again, her hand searching him out, curling her fingers around him and stroking him to full hardness.

 

Nate huffed and kissed her hard, his hand moving to the back of her head to draw her closer as she got him hard and rolled the condom on slowly, getting him ready.

As she did he slid a couple fingers along her, giving her an added burst of pleasure, knowing she wanted it, that real ease, to forget for a little bit.

 

Her lips stilled as he ran his fingers along her, breathing against his mouth for a moment, before, moving up over him again, sucking softly at his lower lips as she guided him inside her, wrapping her arms around his neck as she sank down on him, pausing for a second, before starting to kiss him again as she moved her hips.

 

“..fuck..” He groaned, placing his hand on her hip to help guide her over and tightened his grip when she was fully seated on him, pressing up once she started to move.

Audrey sat up a little, putting one hand on the back of his seat, finding a rhythm as she moved harder across him, and right now, nothing mattered anymore, he was holding her, making her forget everything for a while, making it so all she had to think about was his fingers digging into her hips, his breath panting against her skin.  

His groans were filled with curses, panted against her neck and chest then back to her lips, his gut tightening with every hard roll down she made.

Their kisses became more drawn out, punctuated with long spells of just pressing their noses together, panting and moaning over each others mouth before moving in to kiss again. She moved her hand between them, touching herself as she felt heat bloom slowly through her stomach, her thighs.

 

He was close, couldn’t help but be with the way she was moving on him, tight and fast, greedy for more and taking it for herself.

He held her just about still as she touched herself, trying to draw himself out with long deep breaths through his nose until he felt good to go again then pulled her hard on him.

She gasped as he moved into her again, already nearly there, she dropped her forehead to his shoulder and let him thrust up into her, her whines turning to cries as she felt her body reacting to him, everything tightening before release, and as she came, she moved her mouth to his shoulder, biting down gently, muffling her cries. 

Nate turned his head to kiss at her neck, down her shoulder, moving into her still as she clenched and rocked slowly on him.

He came then, moaning against her skin and breathing hard as his body shook with it.

As she came down, her arms went round his neck, holding him tight, her chest tightening, almost on the verge of tears, but she squeezed her eyes shut, breathing slowly through her nose, just concentrating on his heartbeat against her own chest, letting it settle hers, keeping her body tight to him.   

Nate moved his hands to her back, running them gently along it as she breathed against him.

He didn’t know if she’d be Ok after this, if it would have helped any, but he just wanted her to be Ok.

 

She relaxed under his touch, gradually loosening her grip on him until she sighed deeply, turning her head a little to kiss at his throat, her fingers stroking the nape of his neck.

“I’m still yours aren’t I?” She whispered. “You still want me?” 

He frowned a little at the question, not expecting it. “Of course..how could I not.”

 

She didn’t answer.

There were so many reasons why not, there always had been before. How many times had she had some dumb kid raise his hands and walk away with a  _ I didn’t sign up for this shit _ . look on their face.

She hated the slightly needy way the question had come out, but she’d probably ask it again… and again.. and he’d get exasperated with her….. but she was getting ahead of herself.

wanting to ground herself in the now, she shifted on him slightly, searching for his mouth with hers, kissing him softly, affectionately. 

As they kissed Nate pulled her off him and took the condom off, tossing it out the window.

He didn't want to take her home, but know that was most certainly not an option. He didn’t think she wanted to go back to that place…so they’d stay here in his car, laying together tipped back in the drivers side of his blue Pontiac.

She lay her head against his shoulder, one hand tucked under her cheek, the other resting on his chest, lazily stroking her fingers across his skin as they lay together.

“I’m sorry for being a bitch earlier.” She said softly, watching her fingers as they traced patterns over him. “You’re the only one who makes me feel I have choices you know? It’s not fair to take it out on you.”

She tipped her head back to look at him.

“You make me feel like I matter.”

 

Frowning a little he tipped his head so he could meet her eye. “Thats shit..you matter.” He sighed, pulling her tighter to him and putting his chin on her head. “ you matter to me..I care about you..yanno? And for me…I guess that’s kind of a big deal.”

Audrey smiled softly, letting him crush her to his chest.

“I really care about you too…. and you know I hate everyone.” She half laughed, then bit down on it, because it was true, and she didn’t want to hurt him, didn’t want to drive him away.   

He smiled then hugged her tight. “Well it’s settled then. I’m likable and no take backs.” He chuckled.

“No take backs.” She agreed, pressing a kiss to his chest.

She was dumb to let him get so close to her, dumb to let him see her vulnerable and afraid, but as scary as it was to want to be with him, she craved it, then feeling of being with someone who seemed to want her as much as she wanted him.

 

They lay there for a bit, quiet now except for the radio on low and the sound of their breaths as they slowed together.

He knew they couldn’t stay in the car outside the house..but where would they go?

When the air inside the car started to cool, she slowly sat up, listlessly looking for her clothes, pulling her shirt on, leaving her bra sat on the passenger seat.

“I wanna leave… you know?… I mean, I’ve been planning to leave for weeks, but you’ve ruined it.” She looked across at him and smiled, picking up his hand and pressing it her face, closing her eyes for a second. “I don’t wanna leave when you’re here….. Maybe I just have to try and work through this, properly. Hope I can fight it long enough to turn 18, once I’m 18, she can’t make me do shit…” 

As she dressed Nate pulled his pants up properly, leaving his shirt for now then smiling at her when she took his hand.

“Would you believe that was the first time someone's wanted to stick around for me..?” He chuckled then nodded. “You can figure this out. There has to be some way out…”

Audrey wiggled her way into her underwear, picking her jeans up off the floor and putting them on the seat, then snuggled up to Nate again, hooking her leg over his, her arms around his neck as she nuzzled into his neck.

“I wanna stick around for you.” She said firmly, kissing just behind his ear.

“Yeah… official channels, right?… I’ll talk to Silvia in the morning, get a meeting with my social worker.”

It terrified her, just how he was opening her up to work things out, to do anything but try to run, because if she did run, then what?

Working truck stops like her mom used to?

She didn;t want that, she didn;t want to become what they all thought she’d be in the end. 

“Ok-” Nate said then was cut off by his text tone and dug in his pocket to read the message from his brother, laughing a little.

Of course she would…

“Well, my mom’s passed out…told Kyle she’d be leaving tomorrow after breakfast…so long as you won’t get into too much trouble….you wanna stay at my place tonight?”

A smile spread across her face when he asked her.

“Really? … no.. I’m pretty sure I can make it ok with them…” She leaned across and kissed him, then searched for her own phone, calling the home.

“I’m staying out tonight….. yes… Yes I know I’m meant to be there… But I can’t, not tonight, please!…….”

She shut her eyes, nodding softly as Silvia talked on the other end.

“My phone will be on at all times….. I’m safe…..ok…. thank you Silvia….”

She took a breath as she ended the call, then looked down at him with a smile.

“Sleepover at yours then.”

Nate smiled then leant over to kiss her neck. “Put your pants on then..my brother doesn’t need to see. Only I get to.” He chuckled and started the drive back home.

* * *

 

AS he drove them away, she pulled her jeans back on, putting one foot, then the other up on the dash as she laced her shoes, then settled back with a sigh, half turning int eh seat to look at him, smiling softly.

He glanced over at her then smiled back, chuckling a little. “What, my hair a mess or something?” 

“No..” She half laughed, but reached out to run her hand through his hair anyway, smoothing it back.

He grinned and moved away from her hand and laughed. “You’re so mushy..” he winked, turning the corner, about to his house. 

“You prefer me stabby?” She quirked the corner of her mouth up as he glanced at her again, then turned in her seat, watching as his house drew closer.

He looked over at her and grinned. “You  _ are _ pretty when you’re pissed..” 

Audrey laughed then, turning her head to lift her top lip into a sneer as he grinned at her.

“Well, lucky for you, pissed is kinda me default.”

“I’m a big boy, I can handle it…” He chuckled then pulled up into the drive, throwing it in park and shutting her off. “Alright..so you know where my parents’ room is right? We gotta be quiet..I’m assuming my moms four pills in already but just in case…” He held his finger to his lips and got out of the car. 

She nodded, slipping from the car and pressing the door shut so it wouldn’t slam, then followed him inside, taking off her shoes and carrying them up the stairs.

 


	13. Eggs

They crept up the stairs, turning off towards his room and pushing Nates door open slowly before slipping in and smiled.  
“Home free.” He whispered.  
Audrey smiled at him, then dropped his hand, walking over to the bed and pushing her jeans off before getting in.  
“Coming?”  
“Again?” He chuckled, pushing his own pants off and smirking. “I don’t know if i’m quite recovered..I mean, if you wanna get off again I can totally do that but..” He smiled as he climbed in beside her and pulled her close to him, kissing her softly. “m’just kidding…”  
She laughed quietly, wrapping her arms around his neck as he pulled her close.  
“Well… I kind of meant like, sleeping…. but I’m not adverse to making out and seeing if anything comes up.” She grinned, slipping her legs through his and pressing tight against him.  
“mm, well that sounds like a good idea to me..” He chuckled and moved his hands up to her cheeks and kissed her lips sweetly at first, then pushed against them more, chuckling as he did and she moved closer to him.

Fucking in the car had been like scratching an itch, an immediate need for a distraction, now though, wrapped up in his bed, kissing slowly, it was something different, something sweeter, and she knew, that if he pulled back with a bashful smile and an apology for being tired, she wouldn’t care, because she’d be here, with him, wrapped up in his arms.

She wondered how she’d sleep.  
Normally she really didn’t, not well, always jerking awake at the smallest noise, like her brain couldn;t stop being hypervigilant.  
But he soothed her, put her in the kind of relaxed state she thought wasn’t possible, not for her.

The way she pressed against him made him think, -how the fuck did he end up with this girl, this completely amazing, fucked up girl-, she even liked him for him, not just because he could buy her whatever she wanted.  
It felt unreal, and it really shouldn’t have, it should be a normal teenage thought, that a girl liked a boy for his personality..the way he fucked even. It was new, and it terrified him to think just how much he liked it.  
He kept the kiss slow, pulling back just a little when she got a little intense, wanting to just feel her lips on his right now, to remind him that she was actually here.  
He kept slowing down, pulling back slightly to smile at her then kissing her again, as though he was trying to taste her mouth, delicately, and in the end she let him do what he wanted, let him dictate the pace, and it was freeing to do that, to hand the reins to someone else and just go with it.

She stroked at his hair, gently running her fingers through it, pulling herself closer to him until they were pressed chest to chest, hips to hips, like they could only take comfort when every part of him was touching every part of her.  
He loved how she kissed, all rough and controlling but he loved it even more when she did slow down, when she let herself enjoy it.  
Don’t fall for him.  
That slightly whiny, bitchy voice in her head was bleating, warning her against it, against laying herself even more open to him, letting him in her head, by degrees.  
But it was too late. She knew that now. Knew it in the way her heart lurched in her chest when he ran his hand through her hair, knew it in the way the air between them became slow, heat charged, knew it in the way, when she’d been upset, he was the first person she wanted to call, to hold her, to see her anger and her sorrow.  
It was too late.

He felt her still a moment then press back against him, taking a deep breath and he wondered what she was thinking.  
Pulling back he kissed her cheek. “You ok?”  
She opened her eyes when he spoke, smiling at him as she nodded gently.  
“Perfect.” She whispered, pressing a soft kiss to his lower lip.  
He smiled, kissing the tip of her nose. “Good, I always aim to make my girls feel perfect..specially the ones with the prettiest blue eyes I’ve ever seen..”  
“Now who’s being mushy?” She smiled cutely. “But I’m not one of your girls…. am I…” She didn’t ask him, just stated it, pushing one leg between his and pressing up, grinding her thigh against him slowly.  
He didn’t really understand what she’d meant by that..maybe she didn’t think he was serious about her, or maybe she knew he was..either way..  
“You’re the only girl I’ve actually cared about….how shitty am I..”  
“If that makes you shitty, what dies it make me when you’re the only person I’ve ever cared about…. Ever.”

Her gaze turned serious, and she wondered if he just thought she was exaggerating, but she wasn’t.  
Seventeen years of only caring about herself, through necessity, and now there was Nate.  
He just shrugged and rolled over to his back, pulling her over him and leaning up to kiss her again.  
He’d neatly avoided answering her, and she wasn’t sure what to think about that.  
He kept her close to his chest though, kissing her gently again.  
He knew for a fact that he would do anything for her, anything to make her happy, even if that meant hanging around for awhile, fucking, bumming smokes.  
She talked about leaving like it was in the newspaper, and even though she’d said she didn’t want to anymore because of him…he wasnt sure she would stick to that once it came down to her mom situation.

Audrey pulled back a little, so she was looking down into his face, and she wondered if he could see in her eyes, all the things she was too scared to say, to admit, and she hoped could.  
She hoped he understood there had never been anyone she’d let this close before.  
He looked up at her a she looked down on him and he coudn’t help but smile. She looked at him like she wanted to tell him something, anything…everything, but the words couldn’t, wouldn’t come.  
He couldn’t speak for her, wouldn’t know what to say if anything at all. It was up to her to tell him what went on with her mom, or anything else she wanted to talk about..he could only be there, offer his ear, whatever words he thought might be helpful.  
Reaching up he ran his thumb along her cheekbone then pulled her lips to his, sighing deeply as they kissed again.  
Maybe one day, she thought, she’d tell him everything… the abbreviated version anyway. Or maybe she’d feed it to him in dribs and drabs so he hardly noticed, just suddenly realized he’d knew the secrets, understood her anger.  
But that was for another day. Right now she was here with him, she was safe.  
She was wanted.

“You sleepy?” She whispered over his lips, smiling a little  
Nate looked up at her, pulling his lower lip between his teeth and put his hand on her sides. He was a little, but she clearly wasn’t, seemed to want more from him..more that he would gladly give.  
“Not really..” He breathed up at her, leaning up for a soft kiss. “What do you have in mind?”  
She half shrugged, smiling a little as she moved her legs either side of his hips. “I don’t know…. this… maybe more… maybe not.” She whispered.  
“What do you think?”  
“I think..” He shifted under her, grabbing her hips as she moved over to rest on him. “..That you just can’t get enough of my cock..best you ever had right?” He chuckled, leaning up to kiss her again, to draw her body down on him.  
Audrey laughed.  
“And what if I say yes? What if I say I can’t get enough of you?… best I ever had? Doesn’t that make you just a little fucking cocky?”  
Dropping his head back to the pillow he smiled wide. “Baby…theres nothing little about my cocky..”  
She snorted, pulling away and sitting up on him, taking his hands in hers and lacing their fingers.  
“you’re a pig.” She stated. “A child…. why am I even here?” She teased, wiggling softly over his hips.  
He groaned and chuckled through his teeth, looking up at her. “Because…you cant get enough..and I have a tempurpedic mattress..” he grinned, being stupid now just to see her smile. Softening he swung their hands to the side and smiled down at them. “Because…you’re my girl..”  
Audrey smiled wider, bringing her hands up as she leaned forwards, pressing his hands either side of his head.  
“You DO have a very comfortable mattress..” She chuckled, then leaned down to kiss him gently. “But yeah…. I’m your girl…”  
He liked the sound of it when she said it. His girl. That was something he’d never thought himself being able to say.  
“So…since were both not tired…” He hummed, trailing his nose along her before kissing her.  
“Really…. not at all tired…” She murmured back, their lips meeting softly, her tongue flicking out to touch his. “Not… One… Bit…”

He sighed against her lips, pressing up into each one, pulling her bottom lip between his teeth and letting her pulled back.  
His hands went up her back again, this time lifting her shirt off and as he went to toss it aside her flipped her on her back, slowly, then moved over her, kissing deeper.  
She wasn’t used to this slow, gentle pace, lazy and unhurried, but it felt so good to be held this way, to be kissed in a way that wasn’t a hurried precursor to fucking, a throw away act a guy wasn’t really interested in.  
Nate rolled his tongue around her’s, and she moaned in response, quietening herself when she remembered his brother and mom were only a few doors down.  
She drew her knees up around his waist, pressing up against him, knowing there was only thin material between them now, and kissed him deep and slow.  
“Shh..” He chuckled, pulling back so his lips were just above hers and reached up to stroke his finger along her chin. “..gotta be quiet this time…k?” He whispered, lips brushing hers as he spoke.

He moved his lips to kiss along her jaw, his finger going to hers to move over the soft, silky feel.  
She nodded as his lips barely grazed over hers, then sighed softly when he started to kiss across her neck.  
He couldn’t stop touching her, stroking at her, pressing his lips to her skin, like he was trying to map her, to remember her sometimes when he was alone, like he wanted to burn the feeling of her skin under his fingers, into his mind.  
He wouldn’t admit to himself just yet that this girl was the only one he’d really cared for, wanted to make feel good. Before, he’d care about himself first, make the girl get him off then after a bit of foreplay and a heavy does of jerking himself to get hard and he gave her what she wanted, a hard pounding. But her, it was different. He couldn’t put his finger on it quite yet.  
He wouldn’t tell himself he was falling for her. He wouldn’t tell her either. Not with words at least.  
Kissing down her jaw Nate sucked lightly at the point just below her ear, grazing his tongue over the spot.

If he wanted her to be quiet, he was going the wrong way about it, and who even knew there were so many places for him to kiss and suck along her body that made her squirm under his lips, not just the obvious.  
She tilted her head to the side as he moved his mouth along her skin, and her hands came up to stroke at his sides, lightly running her nails down his ribs.  
He could feel his muscles twitching under her fingertips, each one bumping over smoothly, sending a shiver down his spine.  
He started to kiss down her chest, holding her sides as she moved down, then grabbed the blanket that was bunched at the bottom of the bed, (he never made his bed up,) pulling it over the top of them before moving back up to her lips.  
“Cosy.” She whispered with a smile, sighing against his mouth when he kissed her again, his lips more insistent now, pushing her down into the bed slightly with every press of his mouth.  
“Very.” He agreed, kissing her intently, moving his hand up to cradle her face and though he’d said to be quiet, moaned softly against her lips as he pressed down over her.

Audrey moved her hands down his sides, dipping her fingers under his waistband, running them teasingly along his skin as they kissed, so he lifted his hips, reaching a hand down to push his shorts off, rolling to the side to finish kicking them off before rolling back over her.  
She put one hand to the back of his neck, gently holding him to her as she pressed up into their kisses, her other hand curled around him, slowly stroking him harder, and as his kisses became more disjointed she smiled against his lips, letting him thrust into her hand.

“..fuck..” Nate hissed into a soft moan and moved his hips faster, her stroking him made him hard again, this time he would last a bit longer, he knew that and he had no problems with that..he was sure she wouldn’t either.  
He moved a hand of his own down between them and slid it into her panties, gliding his fingers along her already wet heat.  
Muffling her whine against his mouth, she pushed her hips up to meet his touch and his hands were so soft, so gentle, his fingers slipping effortlessly along her so that she felt nothing but pleasure.

Her breath came shallow against his, and for a while they stayed that way, touching, panting against each other, trying to stay quiet and finding it harder and harder to do so.  
Nate slowly slide down along her, slipping his fingers inside her but just barely, curling them under as he pulled back, Audrey pushing her shoulders back against the bed, her head tipping back as she moaned softly, biting at her lip to keep from being any noisier.  
He moved his fingers swiftly now, sliding them along her and dipping in every so often, kissing off every moan she gave.  
He wanted her now, she was so wet, so warm and all he could think about what how good she’d feel around him. Reaching across and in the drawer for a condom he set it beside her then moved up to slide her panties off, rolling her a little then bending to kiss her sides, his hand moving back between her legs.

As he moved away for the rubber, she caught her breath, raising her legs as he pulled her panties off, then gasping when his hand pressed to her again.  
God, she wanted him so much, he hadn’t been wrong when he’d teased her about it, right now all she could think about was the moment when he’d finally push into her, and how on earth she was going to keep quiet about it.  
He kissed up along her ribs then turned her a little more, so he could kiss at the back of her shoulder, breath over her neck, kiss it softly.  
This probably wasn't what she had in mind..but if he was going to be a distraction, he wanted to be the best damn distraction she could find and that meant pulling every stupid move he could to get her wanting him..  
Rolling her back to her back he bent to kiss her then ripped the packet open and quickly sheathed himself then moved between her legs, kissing her hard again.  
His gentle touches were almost enough to make her moan, his mouth tasting her skin, when he lay over her again, nudging himself between her legs, she was almost disappointed.  
Almost.  
But then his mouth was on hers again, and the need for him was so huge, that she rocked her body up against him, whining for him.  
Nate took himself and nudged at her entrance, letting her move on him then, when she had he held her hip and moved in the rest of the way, slowly, drawing it out so that when she tipped her head back in a moan he looked back up from between them and sought out her lips with his.

She whispered his name across his lips as he pressed them to hers.  
He felt so good, everything about him and god she’d never tell him just how perfect he was, how he seemed to know exactly how to touch her.  
He didn’t need another excuse to be big headed and cocky.  
Nate grinned against her lips, letting it slip as he thrust in just a bit harder and wrapped her legs around him, pulling her down a bit more.  
His thrusts were slow and heavy, building her up gradually as they moved together, her hands in his hair as he kissed her, panting softly for breath between them.  
He felt her grow tighter with every slow thrust he made, drawing grunted moans from him as he moved just a bit harder, pressing to her more to give her that added stimulation to her clit as she rocked her hips up at him.

As he moved up against her more, she whined, digging her heels into the bed and rocking up hard, her stomach hard and tight against his as he moved faster, feeling the change of pace through her whole body as her hands slid down his back, grabbing at his ass, urging him deeper.  
Nate pushed her hands up higher, dropping his lips from hers and down to her neck, panting hard against her already flushed skin as he built up fast, his gut tightening but his pace stayed steady, determined to give her everything she needed.  
Trying to stay quiet, she verbalized instead of crying out, whispered pants against his ear.. fuck, fuck! … over and over until she felt that squirming in her belly, a tightening in her loins, then the release as she came, biting down hard on her lip to stop herself crying out, whining and gasping instead as he carried on, keeping her coasting along with him.  
Nate held out until she’d finished, but when her body started to go lax again it was his turn to release, whining as he did then pressing his lips to hers, kissing her hungrily just to muffle his moans.

“Oh my god…” She shuddered, wrapping her arms around his neck as he lay heavy on her. She wrapped her limbs around him and welcomed his weight on her, then chuckled a little , nuzzling her nose against his ear.  
“I may be sleepy now.” She whispered.  
“You think?” Nate whined and dropped his head to her shoulder. “I know I’m tired..shit..all fucked out..”  
“What? No!…. You got half an hour then I wanna go again…”  
She giggled hard at the aghast look on his face.  
“I’m kidding…. aw baby I’m kidding.” She whispered with a smile, ducking her head to kiss him with a smile.  
Nate whined then pressed sleepily into her kisses.  
“Trust me…I’m willing...I love sex, and sex with your is..wow..but my body..my body is weak.” He chuckled and collapsed off to her side, rolling on his back.  
She followed him, rolling onto her stomach next to him, resting her head on his arm, her own arm draped over his chest.  
“Poor weak bodied boy…” She sighed sleepily, and smiled, nuzzling against his shoulder.  
“Shut up..” He mumbled but smiled, hugging her close and tossing the used condom away before throwing the covers over them again and settled down to sleep.  
He’d sleep hard after tonight, he was sure of that and he hoped she did too.

* * *

 

When she woke, it wasn’t with a start, a lurch of her heart as she was wrenched from sleep, rather it was a slow coming into being, sleepily blinking in the faint early morning light, confused as to why it was morning already.  
Then his arms tightened around her middle, hugging her close, pulling her so her back was pressed hard against his chest, and she remembered where she was, who she was with, and she smiled, wriggling back on him and sighing when his lips moved to rest on the nape of her neck.  
“s’not time to get up yet..” Nate mumbled against her neck, pulling her closer and sighing deeply. Though it probably was, he knew that he would be expected to cook his mom breakfast, see her off..hopefully she left right after like Kyle had said she planned to do.  
Audrey would have to stay put until then, but he’d sneak her some breakfast. The thought was funny; Audrey, his secret little girlfriend stuck in his closet so know one would see her.  
He chuckled then wiggled closer to her, smiling against her neck happily.  
“five more minutes..”  
“Five more minutes.” She agreed, sighing deeply when he snuggled up against her, then turned in his arms to face him, moving her lips to the base of his throat as she pushed her arms around his middle.

He didn’t know how long it had actually been, but he woke to hi mom calling up the stairs at him in her whiny little voice and jumped up, looking around sleepily then down to Audrey as she groan and reached for him.  
“I have to get up..I’m sorry, I’ll come back up as soon as I can..”  
He moved from the bed, tossed his boxers and jeans on at least then left the room, calling back to her that he was up and to chill out.  
She frowned, still confused with sleep as he left, then remembered she was hiding.  
She heard voices downstairs, and decided the safest place for her was Nates tub. So she stole all his pillows and grabbed the comforter, heading to the bathroom to look herself in and grab a little more sleep.

* * *

  
Nate was very displeased that his mom kept getting louder and louder the longer she talked, all but yelling at him all the while he cooked for her.  
“Your father isn't happy with you Nathaniel.”  
“When has he ever been?” Nate snorted.  
“Don’t start with that! Your father is a very busy man! He does everything for you boys, and how do you repay him? By getting suspended from school for some fight thats how!”  
Nate rolled his eyes and continued to cook her eggs, which he’d had to remake several times already because the yolk was not the right consistency.  
“Don't you roll your eyes at me, you know he cares. And the Campbell’s have been a family friend for years now, I spoke with Drakes mother and shes not….blah blah blah blah BLAH.”  
That’s all he heard at this point then when she wanted him to get her more coffee he sighed. This wasn't how a family was supposed to work, she was supposed t0 be cooking for him, kissing the top of his head…He’d never gotten that, not once.

* * *

  
Even through a whole floor and two rooms, Audrey could hear the shrill voice floating under the door, and shit… If it grated her, how must it feel for Nate.  
With a groan. She put one of the pillows over her head.  
Finally satisfied with his cooking she ate, explaining to him where she would be and how long she was going to be there. She also told him that his dad would be home next week, and would be home for a few weeks.  
He barely listened, watching as she ate and wishing like hell he’d hurry up.

* * *

  
Audrey’s ability to nap anywhere came into use, and when the voice quietened she drifted back to sleep, nestled in the tub.  
It seemed like hours before she actually left and as she pulled out down the drive his wave turned into just his middle finger.  
Finally. He sighed, then trudged back up to his room and found she was gone.  
“Audrey? Where’d you go baby?…”  
He wondered if she’d bailed, hopped out the window when they were downstairs. That would be it wouldn’t it..he served his purpose, now she would move on.  
Audrey had unlocked the door again when then voices had quietened, figuring she was probably safe, and even if someone HAD come up, a heap of blankets in the tub was less suspicious than a locked door.  
“Mm… m’in here…” She mumbled, half waking up again, burying her face against the pillow as he came in.  
“Hey… your tub’s big, and clean… best one I ever slept in.” She smiled.  
He’d heard her and quickly moved to the bathroom, frowning when he saw her sleeping in his tub.  
“What the fuck are you doing?” He questioned, swallowing that thick lump of fear he’d gathered.  
“Hiding.” She said simply, then pulled the covers up so only her eyes were showing, chuckling softly.  
Nates shoulders dropped and he too laughed. “Well, stop hiding..there are several plates of eggs downstairs that I can make toast with and I’m fucking starving..” He looked to her and squinted his eyes. “Someone kept my up all night fucking..” He winked.  
“Oh really?” She smiled wryly at him, taking his hand when he offered it to her, and standing up to step out the tub.  
“I slept like a log… did we fuck?” She cocked her head slightly then laughed, leaning up to kiss him quick.  
“Eggs sound good.. lemme put pants on first.”  
“Twice.” Nate nodded. “No good? you don’t remember it?” He teased then brought a blanket up around her and covered her up. “Get dressed, ill be downstairs.” He kissed her nose  
“Sure thing boss.”  
She smiled as he left, then dressed quickly, rubbing cold water on her face and dragging her fingers through her hair to neaten it a little. her own smile was infectious, and as she looked in the mirror, it grew wider.

* * *

 

“Why the hell did you make so many eggs?” She asked when she found him in the kitchen.  
Nate was stretched by an open window, smoking, then turned just as he’d taken his hit and almost chocked on it.  
“Well..” he exhaled, “I forgot to tell you, my mom’s the fucking queen of her own made up world..” he laughed it off like he was kidding.  
Stuffing his pipe away he moved to the plate on the counter and started pointing. “These?..too runny..this one? To soft boiled..Oh, she wanted me to just scramble them since I couldn’t stop fucking up…and these here? Not fluffy enough.” He looked up at her then, tight lip smile crossing his face.  
Maybe his mom wasn’t as bad as hers, and he knew that..but she was not mom of the year.  
She laughed, watching as he pointed out the eggs.  
“Well…. I’m not fussy… you learn to eat what you can… so.. eggs is eggs…” She smiled. “Lord save us from bat shit crazy moms…”  
He shrugged, turning to make a fresh pot of coffee and throw some bread in the toaster.  
“You skipping school? You can hang out here or do you Gotta go back?”  
She shrugged, picking up a fork and spearing up a little scrambled egg, chewing it thoughtfully.  
“I dunno… I gotta call Silvia in a bit, so I’ll decide then. See if she gets on my ass and makes me go to school or if I can milk my trauma a little more.” She laughed, because if you don’t laugh, you cry.  
“They’re good.” She smiled around a mouthful.  
“Glad you think so..” Nate laughed hard then went over to the window to take another hit off his pipe.  
His dad was coming back. He didn’t know how to react to that. He hadn’t seen him in a month..maybe it wouldn’t be any different.

“I gotta go call Silvia.” Audrey sighed, pulling out her phone and moving across the kitchen.  
She pulled herself up on the counter and pressed her phone to her ear.  
“Ola Silvia…” She smiled. “Just calling to say I’m alive and shit.”  
You gotta get your ass back here now!  
Audrey blinked at her tone, switching to the other ear.  
“Why? I gotta go to school?” She’d had no intention of going, but that didnt seem important right now.  
No. No school… I get a phone call this morning, they want you at Fairview clinic for a psych evaluation.  
“What for?”

Moving off the counter she paced about on the spot, her free arm going around her middle.  
“Dr Banks thinks I’m alright… I’m only seeing him twice a month now…”  
Its not with Dr banks. They got a court order…. Bastards must have had it in place before the meeting yesterday so they could pull it out if it didn’t go to plan..  
Silvia sounded grim, and now, Audrey really was frightened.  
“Ok… Ok I’ll be home soon…”  
She hung up, glancing over at Nate who watched her carefully.  
“Can you take me home? I know I said I’d stay… somethings come up though…”  
“Of course.” Nate nodded, shutting the window and moving over to her. He didn’t bother asking of everything was Ok, it clearly wasn’t.  
When he reached her she put her arms around him, hugging him for a moment, but it wasn’t the hopeless, upset hug she’d thrown at him yesterday, just a quick connection, like grounding, reminding herself he was there.  
“They’re not playing fair.” She said quietly, frowning against his chest as she ran through in her head, all the scenarios she could, wondering how she was going to play this.

As they drove back, she filled him in, and when he pulled up to the curb, Audrey turned to face him.  
“I don’t know whats going to happen…. I’ll try and text you later.”  
Nate nodded and leaned forward to kiss her, running his hand through her hair as he did. “Ok..I’ll wait for it..good luck.”  
She pushed into his kiss with a sigh, then smiled as she pulled back. “Thanks.” She whispered, then got out quickly, SIlvia waiting on the steps to take her to her car.


	14. The whole damn pie

It wasn’t like any evaluation she’d ever had, and in her time, she’d had plenty.

This time, aside from her and the therapist, there was Jane’s lawyer, and a social worker she’d never met, assigned to her.

“How come I don’t get a lawyer?” She asked but no one really had a satisfactory reason, aside from Jane requesting she have a representative.

Audrey took an instant dislike to the psych.

She’d met his type before. He did this job purely to gather enough material to write a book some day, maybe a text book some poor college kids was gonna have to fork out $300 for just so they could take their class. He didn’t care about his patients on an emotional level, only as a means to an end.

“Mrs Clarkson has requested a Psychological evaluation on her daughter, Audrey Irvine, the time is eleven oh nine on the 24th of April twenty fifteen, and I’ll be recording this whole session.”

He pushed his little Dictaphone to the middle of the coffee table between them, then smiled up at her.

“You have… a colourful file Audrey.” He said at last, only being met with her passive gaze.

“So… you’ve been in therapy since 2009…. so you were… uh.. eleven, nearly twelve.”

She half shrugged.

Fuck it, she’d make him work.

He cleared his throat but forged on.

“The purpose of this evaluation is to determine how capable you’ll be of coping when you leave state care in a few months time, and I have to say, just by your records, I’d have my doubts.

Depression, violent outbursts with a history of police involvement and school exclusions,  Post traumatic stress disorder and related hypervigilance disorder, and I see you were also suffering from dysphoric hyperarousal….”

“Not for a long time..” She broke in, fidgeting in her seat a little as he read all her faults out to her seemingly for his own entertainment.

“So no flash backs?”

“None.”

He smiled, making a slow note in the file, then carried on.

“You still have trouble sleeping?”

“Not last night.” She smirked, slouching low in her chair and glaring at him.

“It says here you went through a period of sleeping no more than two hours a night, sometimes going days without sleep…. This was when you were institutionalised, yes?”

“I sleep better now.” She said slowly.

“…generalized anxiety, hypersexuality….”

“You calling me a whore?”

Audrey glanced across to see the lawyer making notes.

“Does he have to be here?” She said suddenly, sitting up a little and looking to her social worker, who just shrugged apologetically.

“Court order.” She sighed, giving Audrey a small smile.

“Looking at your history, on paper, I couldn’t recommend you moving into independent accommodation when you reach 18.”

“That’s bullshit.” Audrey growled. “This is just so she can get a bit of paper that makes it look like I need fucking care… when you got kids with actual mental problems being let out on the streets…”

“Those kids don’t have the offer of a stable home…” The lawyer piped up.

“Are you fucking retarded?” She laughed, shaking her head. “SHE put me in this position and you want me to go back?”

“People change.” The therapist said soothingly.

“Fuck you.”

“Audrey…. I can see you’re holding on to a lot of anger… why don’t you tell me how you feel?”

“Fuck… You.”

She sat back again, folding her arms across her chest, and refused to answer any more questions, all the while, working out how she was going to be able to fight this when they were playing so dirty.  

* * *

 

 

Nate went home, cleaned up the kitchen then stuck himself in his room, smoking himself stupid.

Stress was going to kill him, he knew it…but it was life. Others had it worse…he couldn’t complain.

 

* * *

“Do you think I need a lawyer?” Audrey asked Silvia as they drove back.

She shrugged. “I don’t know… We should call your caseworker… She should have been there today, but they sprung it on us…“ She shook her head and clicked her tongue angrily.

Audrey nodded, then pulled out her phone to text Nate.

_“ I’m out. I’m screwed. were you kidding about a lawyer?”_

She felt dumb saying it, and she was half joking, she’d probably get a state assigned one anyway, but she still felt like this was the bit where the system started to sharpen its teeth, ready to grind her up.

 

He squinted at it for a minute, then, remembering what He’s said the night before he nodded.

Then laughed at himself for nodding to himself.

“Ya…u want 1?

I cn get u 1”

_“ its fine. I’m kidding._

_You wanna do something? Pretty sure Silvias getting lax about rules now with all this shit, and the fact I didn’t run away already lol”_

 

 _“_ _ill cum get u._

_Im gnna buy u a laywer_

_gmme 10 mins 2 shwer.”_

 

_She smiled._

_Such big talk._

_She’d play it his way for a while, but god… they were playing dirty, they were pushing the boundaries of the rules, and she wasn’t sure how well she’d do in the end._

_She always had the option to run though._

_It was moving further and further away but it was still there._

_“ Meet you outside xx”_

 

* * *

 

The shower hadn’t taken much of the red, glazed looking his eyes but a couple drops should help. He didn’t care if she saw..but if one of the caseworkers had they might think twice about letting her come out with him.

Nate rolled up and grinned at her when she came and got in the car. “Heyyy…There’s my girl.” He chuckled and kissed measly across her jaw. “How’d it go…”

“um… like crap…” She sat back a little, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Are you baked?….. Nate…How did you even drive over here?…. Switch, I’ll drive..”

“Im fine.” He laughed, settling back in his seat after smacking a big kiss to her cheek. “Tell me about it, I wanna know what them fucks want you to do..cuz Im gonna get you the best lawyer I can find..”

 

He started pulling from the curb and looked back at her. “Where you wanna go..my place? Food?…”

“Food could be good…. I skipped… uh.. everything.” She chuckled, watching him to make sure he was ok to drive, then relaxing a little when he wasn’t being sloppy.

 

“So… They got a court ordered psych eval… they wanna prove I’m not fit to live independently… Fucker reeled off my file like it was all his Christmases come at once.” She sighed.

“I never really thought about it before…  But on paper, I’m fucked up… I sound like I can’t tie my own damn shoes..”

 

Turning off a different way, Nate made a face. “I can get you someone…but I think they might want to evaluate you as well, may need your papers. But! You play it right…get sympathy from the court…you could win this thing.” He looked at her seriously. “You got hard proof She’s shit? We could use it..”

“She pulled that diminished responsibility crap, so she only did 12 months…”

Audrey looked over at him with a frown, her hands worrying together in her lap. “Can I tell you?…. I mean…. would it be too weird to talk to you about it?… some of it?… I mean, I dunno…”

He glanced at her then smiled. “Tell me, I don’t mind. Might help me get Ya the right kinda lawyer.”

 

She looked out the window, not wanting to look at him while she spoke. She’d give him the heavily edited version, there were some things she didn’t want to say out loud, not again.

“So… Jane was on pretty much any drug she could get… she wasn’t too picky. And she was like that for as long as I can remember…. Used to move us round from truck stop to truck stop, so she could “work”…” She laughed harshly, reaching forwards to grab a cigarette, lighting up and blowing smoke out the window.

“So I saw the inside of a lot of motels, and I’ll tell you, when you’re like five or six, a bathtub is a pretty good bed when you’re moms blowing someone in the bedroom yanno?”

She glanced over and smiled, then turned back to the road.

“But… sometimes.. she’d get a boyfriend, someone who’d keep her as stoned as she wanted, but she always seemed to have a type yanno? And they were always the type who liked to hook up with single moms.”

Audrey let that hang in the air between them for a moment, not really wanting to elaborate if she had to.

“Jane was a master of the blind eye Nate.”  

 

He was quiet awhile, even after she’d stopped talking then as he pulled into a restaurant he turned to her.

“That’s some heavy fucking shit…like, fucked up heavy…baby, cmere…” he opened his arms to her.

She held her cigarette away from them as she moved into his embrace, sighing softly.

“It’s fine… I mean… I wasn’t, for a long time, but I don’t get angry like I used to, I don’t hit people, unless they start a fight..” She chuckled a little. “But… When I first went into care, I had to spend a year on a psych ward… cus, I used to have flashbacks and breakdowns, and they were worried I’d kill someone… it’s…. like a disassociation thing… fucked up kids get… lack of empathy, no moral compass…” She pulled back and looked at him seriously.

“I got better though…. Or, at least better at coping….Fuck…”

She pulled away a little and looked out the window, watching people moving around in the restaurant.

“Christ… I am fucked up…” She laughed mirthlessly, suddenly worried he’d look at her differently, touch her differently.     

 

"Nah…you’re not baby…just had a shitty beginning.” He shook his head and kissed.into her hair. “You’ve got the rest of your life to make it better.”

Audrey closed her eyes when he kissed her head.

How did he do it?

He constantly put her in a place where she opened up and it didn’t matter if it was something small or something huge like this… she never talked to anyone about herself. It was easier that way.

“Buy your girl dinner?” She smiled, making it wide as she crushed out her cigarette.  

“I’ll buy my girl whatever she wants.” He grinned back, pulling her lips to his and kissing her happily. “Anything..”

“Well, right now, I wanna burger and I wanna strawberry shake..” She grinned back, pressing into his kiss, letting it linger, her hand moving up to his face.

“you’re really something… you know?” She whispered.

 

He kissed her again and again, smiling when she spoke then hummed. “Mmm..yep! I'm something, anything, eeeevvverry thing you’ll every want and need.”

“You’re still stoned.” She smiled. “You can say anything and just blame being high as fuck.” She laughed, kissing him again.

“I am..and could.” He nodded greatly Then grinned. “But! I would mean it!”

Audrey wrapped her arms around his neck and smiled.

“So maybe you are everything I’ll ever want or need.”

She kissed him quick

“C'mon… I’m hungry…”

 

Nate grinned wide, chuckling as she pushed his door open and climbed out of his lap. So what if she was lying..he had her right now, and he was happy, she seemed happy, at least when she was with him.

Though the nagging feeling he had in the back of his mind that told him he was just a stop on the road for her kept him from getting too close, too attached. But god was it hard.

When she turned to him and ushered him out he followed, grabbing her hand as they walked inside together.

* * *

 

While they were inside, neither of them said anything about what she’d told him, or her present situation. Instead, they chatted and joked about nothing important, nothing heavy, just music and movies, and dumb observations about other diners, just enjoying each others company.

Nate had ordered a couple burgers, extra fries and had a chocolate shake for himself and demolished all of it, was even contemplating getting  something for dessert.

“You wanna get some pie?” He asked Audrey, shifting his gaze to her then smiled. “I wanna get some pie.”

“Where do you put it?” She laughed, chasing the last of her shake with her straw.

“One day you’re gonna wakeup and be like 400 lb.”

Shoving the last of his fries in his mouth he frowned at her. “wha? I werk ou-!”

“When do you work out?!” She laughed. “I never saw you workout”

“All the time!” He laughed back. “We got a rec room in the basement, sometimes I have to pick the weights off the floor when Kyle leaves them out. They are heavy!”

She giggled at the thought of him struggling weights around.

“Well… So long as you can bench press me….” She smiled, raising an eyebrow as she watched him.

Nate drew up his arms and flex, growling a little. “Baby, I can bench press you allll night long!”

“Big talk…” She chuckled, eyeing him up as she smiled.

 

He was such a dork. One of those guys you see hanging around with his friends and being loud and obnoxious, laughing at some dumb joke, and the kind of guy she’d immediately dismiss as vapid, shallow.

But he wasn’t.

There was a lot going on behind that goofy grin, behind the teasing, a lot he hadn’t divulged to her, and she may have lived through hell, but from where she was standing, heaven didn’t look so good either.   

Audrey reached forwards and grabbed the front of his shirt, pulling him closer, then kissed him softly

Nate smiled against her lips, chuckling as she kept him there, close, then hooked his arm around the back of her neck and pulled her over closer, kidding her hard.

She laughed softly, Smiling into the kiss as it slowed again, then pulled back, running her thumb over his lower lip.

“You still want pie?”

He turned his gaze upward to think, his lips purse a little and a small smirk spread across. “Can I eat….your pie!” He looked down at her and grinned, poking between her legs and laughing. “I wanna eat your pie..wonder what flavor its gonna be today..”

Audrey squirmed away and laughed, hitting his shoulder.

“Child…. But, yeah…. you wanna go to yours and find out?” She bit down on her lower lip, looking over at him as he smiled back at her.

“Yes…” He nodded slowly, his eyes shifting over to the front counter. “…but I really do want some pie…”

“You’re unbelievable.” She groaned, sitting back and rolling her eyes. “Go get your damn pie..”

“What?! I’ll get you some too!” He gasped and started to move out of the booth. “What kind do you want? Blueberry?..Cherry?..Banana Cream?..” He kissed her with each flavor, smiling down at her. “We can eat it here, then I’ll take you to my house and eat you…I’ve got room if that’s what you’re worried about..”

She chuckled against each kiss, then shrugged.

“Whatever pie you’re having’s fine with me…. except key lime… just… ugh..” She stuck her tongue out and grimaced at the thought.

Nate smiled then went up to the counter, bending over it to catch someones attention then laughed when he was yelled at.

But i wanna pie!

 

Audrey looked away and out the window while Nate ordered his pie.

She needed a smoke.

Not bad enough to leave the restaurant, but bad enough that she could feel it like an itch. She was restless, stressed with no outlet.  

Nate came back over and sat the whole pie in front of them, looking at her as she looked outside. “Hey..you gonna help me with this?…orr…you wanna take it to go?”

She was doing that thing again where she got quiet and thoughtful..it scared him sometimes..

she blinked and looked back at him, then down at the table.

“You bought the _whole_ pie?”

This struck her as absurdly funny, and for a while, she just laughed and shook her head at him as he dug a spoon in.

“Well..yeah I bought the whole pie?…” He laughed around a bite, chewing thoughtfully as if he was studying the taste and texture for science. “You gotta have some, and I’ll bring the rest home to Kyle.” He shrugged.

Audrey chuckled again, then picked up a spoon and took up some, closing her eyes and moaning softly when she chewed.

“That’s pretty good pie.” She mumbled around her mouthful.

Nate had a mouthful so all he could add was a muffled grunt and a head nod. It was damn good pie. Handmade right here like most everything. He liked that about this place. It was small, not fancy by any means, but the food was good, cheap.

He’d been to many fancy restaurants where they make you put a cloth napkin on your lap and use this fork for that and where you had to raise your hand to speak. It made him sick and he was now thankful that he didn’t have to go to too many of them anymore..though he suspected that now his dad was coming home, he’d have to.

 

He’d turned thoughtful.

She thought maybe he was just coming down a little, he’d been pretty high when he picked her up.

Gently, she nudged his leg with her foot under the table, smiling when he looked up.

“You ok?”

“Mm?…mm. yeah, m’fine.” He smiled, laughing at himself for staring off into space. “..Just, this pie man..fucking good.” He laughed again then took another bite, staring down at it as he chewed.

When he’d finished he kissed her cheek then stood up. “I’m gonna go pay…then, I’m gonna take you home and well..: He chuckled, kissing her again. “We’ll see what comes up..”

Audrey watched him go pay, standing up as he came back over, and when they’d got back in the car, she leaned over, putting her arms around him and hugging him tight, just, holding him for a while.

Nate smiled, though he was a little confused, he hugged her back just a fiercely, only pulling back when he needed air.

“What was that for?” He chuckled, then started the car up, biting on his lip a little. He actually really needed that hug, but it seemed a stupid thing to admit, so he’d just keep quiet about it.

“What? I can’t just hug you for no reason?” She smiled, pulling on her seat belt as he backed out his space, then turning a little to watch him.

“I happen to be a great hugger, given the right person to hug.”

 

He gave a little laughed then shrugged. “I guess you can.” He smiled then lifted the center console to grab out a couple of smokes, lighting both and handing one to her before he started to drive back home.

Audrey took it from him and pulled her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on them as they drove back to his.

The rest of the pie was wrapped up and sat on the back seat for his brother, and she thought it was sweet how he’d thought of him.

* * *

 

Kyle was at school, so Nate set the rest of the pie in the fridge with a note. ‘Kyle-this is your pie if you want it. if not its mine!’

It had been just him and his brother for awhile now, as their parents got busier and they became less dependent on them, they were left to their own. Not that it was too hard being alone, just sucked sometimes…

“Right, well….who’s up for some weed?” Nate laughed, closing the fridge and reaching to pull her into a hug. “I’m coming down and I’d rather not so…”

She giggled softly, letting him pull her close, and she thought she detected a neediness to it, that he was taking comfort from holding her, but didn’t want to say anything.

She wasn’t too thrilled about him staying stoned all day, but she shrugged, figuring she’d smoke a little with him, keep an eye on things.

Nate smiled and bit her neck playfully, growling as he did then pulled away to lead her upstairs to his room, it still a mess from the night before.

He went to set up his bong, sitting at his computer desk as he grabbed all the shit he needed to do so.

“You gotta go back tonight I suppose?” He looked to her as he packed the bowl. “They wont let you stay out forever…”

“Mmhm…” She sat down on the bed to watch him as he busied himself. “Can’t play house with you tonight baby.” She smiled, leaning back on her hands a little, wishing for all the world she could.

She had a dream of one day having a place of her own. Probably some shitty studio apartment, but it would be her space, and no curfews or rules ore anything could stop her just existing.

Nate mumbled something as he took a pull off then nodded.

“That’s Ok…Least Ya got to hang out one night.” He smiled then moved to lay next to her. “Ya had fun right?”

Audrey lay back with him, her head turned towards him as she smiled. “yeah… yeah I did…”

Turning on her side, she pressed forwards to kiss him, tasting the smoke in his mouth as she moved her lips slowly.

Nate took a deep breath, sighing out the rest of the smoke in his lungs as they kissed slowly.

He didn’t like her going back to that place, it was depressing. He like her happy….he’d give anything for her to be happy. She deserved that.

Pulling back slowly, she turned her head to blow his smoke from her mouth, chuckling slightly before laying back down, pressing her palm to his face and just looking at him as she stroked her thumb gently back and forth across his cheek

He smiled at her, big and dopey but not just because he was high, but because he truly felt happy she was here.

He’d be bored when she left, and normally he’d just go over to Drake’s but that was no linger an option. He didn’t think he wanted other to be anymore either.

“Tell me something.” She whispered. “You know more about me than anyone so far… and I know nothing about you… not really..”

She pressed her nose to his and closed her eyes.

Nate frowned, blinking rapidly then nodded.

“Uh, Ok? What you wanna know?..I mean, there isn’t much..rich kid, blah blah Blahhhhh..’

“Don’t give me that.” She smiled indulgently. “Don’t pretend you’re like the vapid rich kid… this ain’t a teen movie you know… and I got eyes..” She ran her nose over his and sighed. “Just cus you got rich parents doesn’t mean they’re not assholes.”

Nate sighed and rolled on his back. What did she want from him?

“Ok, yeah…shit parents..so what?” He chuckled. “Next question.”

Audrey looked at his profile as he glared up at the ceiling, and her first instinct was to go, to shrug and leave.

Instead though, she sighed, moving closer to him and putting her arm over his chest, pressing her nose against his neck.

“I’m sorry…. Forget it…”

 

Nate hugged her tight then sighed.

“I don’t even know where to start..Ok? So if you wanna know specifics you Gotta ask…”

She was silent for a moment, then hugged him tighter.

“How come there’s never anyone here?…. I mean… It’s great being able to come see you all the time, but… You and Kyle are practically living here alone…”

He let out a soft laugh though his nose then shook his head.

“Me and Kyle…yeah, well, you know my dad being who he is..he’s trying for more..he want’s to be more than just the Governor of this town…he want’s on the state senate..he want’s to call the shots..he want’s more power.” He shrugged.

“That’s where he’s been, getting sit ready for elections and whatever..hell be home next week, no doubt to set shit up around here..rally’s and whatever. Political bullshit..”

He guessed that he would have to make a good appearance, get a hair cut, wear nice clothes, smile..be sober. He hated the thought.

“My mom…she’s always off on trips, she doesn’t really work, she likes to think she does…but she doesn’t really..She’ll be back next week too, after shes all spa’d up I’m sure.”

“Wow… absent parents… I’d say that sucked but they don’t sound so great.2 She said simply.

“I won’t see you much then huh?” She ran her hand up and down his chest in gentle sweeps, almost soothingly.

 

“I don’t know..” He sighed, closing his eyes and taking slow deep breaths. “Hoping I only have to go to a few meetings..He cant pull me from school though so I’l see you there..”

“I’ll miss you.” She whispered, surprised when she realized it was true.

This dumb boy had become one of the most important parts of her life, and she just wanted to be with him all the time.

He opened his eyes and looked down at her as she ran her hand along his chest. “You will?” He asked, a small confused frown spread across his brow. “I mean…yeah, I’m awesome, why wouldn’t you miss me..” He chuckled, smiling then but it was only a cover.

He’d miss her too, stupidly..they’d be together in school, but he wouldn’t be able to bring her over and hang out..

“What else do you wanna know..”

She ignored his bravado, the cockiness he hid behind. he probably wouldn’t miss her much. Maybe his Dad coming home would be the end of everything. Wouldn’t look good if he was associated with someone like her.

“What makes you happy?”

Nate hummed, chuckling at the question a little. “You know?…I think I did and essay in the 5th grade like that…what makes me happy.”

He was a little depressed by the way the answers were basically the same.

“Currently?…you.” he answered honestly, no point hiding it. “You make me happy…happier than I’ve been in a long time actually….I feel like, I got a little piece of heaven back..in you.”

“I do?” She asked, looking up in surprise, smiling when she felt her cheeks flush a little.

“My money was on weed and pie.” She joked, pressing her face against his side to hide her blush.

“Well…those are number 2 and 3..” he laughed, kissing her forehead. “Yeah..you’re making me happy..”

Audrey closed her eyes, taking a deep breath when he kissed her head, tightening her arms around him.

“You make me happy too…” She whispered.

All he could do was smile. He truly and honestly WAS happy.

She shifted up the bed so she was propped up on her forearms next to him, then leaned down to kiss him, just softly, breathing slowly through her nose.

Nate held her side, kissing up at her just as slow as she kissed him. He could feel her breath roll hot cross his cheek and sighed.

What was he going to do without her…

 

Laying with him again, she threaded her leg through his, moving her hands up to the back of his neck as they kissed, her f“How long till you Gotta go back…” he breathed softly, holding her face in his hands as she lowered for kiss after kiss. “I wanna use it wisely..”

“Couple of hours..” she whispered. “Maybe a little longer…”

Lately Silvia was letting her get away with more, and more, seemingly dissatisfied with the system as much as she was, but right not, none of it seemed important. Not when he was pressing into every kiss like she was sacred, not when she wanted to breath with him and forget everything else.

 

“I can eat an awful lot of pie in a couple hours..” He kissed her hard, holding her face in his hands. “…Should we?”

“We should..” She breathed, licking her lips quickly before pushing against his mouth again, moaning softly when he kissed her hard.

Sighing hard against her lips Nate rolled her to her back then climbed over her, kissing her harder now, pressing her down into the mattress as he lowered his body.

This was all a distraction, he knew it, she knew it. She didn’t want to go back and he didn’t want to talk about his life..it was something he was used to with the others, He just had hope she would be different.

He pinned her down with his weight, and it was strange, that usually, something like that would make her panic, would make her push him off, but with him, she welcomed the feeling, because it wasn’t like being trapped, wasn’t like being helpless, it was comforting, he made her feel safe, his body almost covering hers.

She pressed up into every kiss whining as she did, rolling her body top his.

He worked his hands up under her shirt, pulling it off quickly then moving his hands to her back to undo her bra, taking that of with ease. Then his lips were on her chest, hands at her sides as he slowly kissed down her stomach and held there just at her navel.

His fingers started to work at her jeans, once undone, sliding them down with a few pulls.

Her hips, her thighs, her stomach and chest..he’d taste it all, make it know that he wanted her, hell… **needed** her.

She let him move her as he wanted, her breath coming short as he mouthed at her stomach, making her squirm slightly under his hands, moving her own up by her head and arching her back slightly, pushing up against his mouth, her knees running up along his shoulders.

He kissed down between her legs, breathing deeply as he did and started to bite along her inner thighs. She was just in her panties now, everything stripped from her that he wanted for the time being.

Audrey whimpered softy as his teeth dug into her flesh, hard enough for her to feel it, soft enough to be pleasurable, she felt his breath against her, hot and heavy, and she brought her hands down to cover his.

Moving his attention to her heat, Nate wrapped his arms around her thighs, tipping her up and he hugged her legs, drawing her closer to his lips as he mouthed over her panties.

She moaned, tipping her head back and closing her eyes, his mouth hot against her, soaking her panties as he sucked and mouthed across them, feeling her skin flushing at his touch, his breaths against her dampness.

He moved his lips across her thigh again, his breath hot as he worked her panties off, tossing them back behind him and moving right back between her legs.

She gasped loud when she felt his tongue slide across her, making her moan and shiver under his hands, his name panted past her lips.

With each pant of his name, Nate made a long slow sweep of his tongue over her slick ending it with the tip of his tongue flicking over her clit.

He listened to her moans and let himself get lost in the sound, let how she clenched her thighs around his head dictate just how hard to press and for how long. It was about her, now, he knew that..welcomed that…and he would give her everything that she wanted.

Audrey was crying out softly as he built her up, glad that she didn’t have to keep a lid on it this time, wasn’t sure she could have the way his tongue moved slickly across her, making her rock her hips up against his mouth, and god she was close, just about there, when she shuddered and pushed him back off her gently, pulling at him.

“Nate…. C’mere…. I wanna come on you….” She panted.

Nate scrambled up her body, losing his shirt before he got to her lips and worked his pants down part ways before he lay over top of her.

His mouth sought hers out and kissed her messily, wetly, both from her slick and his own want.

She crushed her mouth hungrily to his, lapping at his tongue with hers, tasting herself on his lips and moaning as her arms went hard around his back, pulling him down on her.

He shoved his pants down and kicked them off, working on his boxers next then when he’d managed them started to stroke himself along her, moaning against her lips at the feel of her hot under him.

The urge to the press in was very strong, but he didn’t need to fuck this up by being stupid..still, he ran the head along her and pressed in slowly, just once…just to feel.

Gasping against his lips as he moaned, she found herself pushing up to meet him, and she was glad when he took hold of himself, pulling back to grab a condom because shit… She would have just let him carry on, her head was so full of him, so blinded by him.

He’d slid one on then moved back over to her, resting himself between her legs as he kissed her hard again, his hands pushed up into her hair. God was she warm, hot and pliant..moving under him like she needed only him at this second.

She whined against his mouth as his fingers curled in her hair, pressing up into his kisses, and she’d never felt more wanted in her life, never felt so needed.

She drew her knees against his hips, panting his name into his mouth, whispering, Please, please, over and over.  

He moved a hand down to himself and helped guide himself in, not that it too much, she was moving on him the instant he pressed in s all he had to do was make one fluid movement and he was there.

Audrey moaned as he pushed into her, moving her hips up, tilting them as he came to rest fully inside her.

She ducked her head to find his mouth, pressing small breathless kisses to his lips as he started to move.  

He moved hard an fast, hands grabbing at all of her, holding her hips to him tight so with each thrust he made he went deeper.

His breath came got over her lips, his own kissing at her moans

 

She’d been afraid earlier, that when she told him about the abuse, or at least, implied it, that he wouldn’t want to touch her again, or that when he did, it would be different, more cautious, afraid of doing something wrong, but he felt just the same as before.

Maybe it was hard for some people to understand that, how she could separate the two, and for a while, that dumb psych had been right, she’d been hypersexual, fucked around a lot from too young an age, like her head was trying hard to work out everything that had happened, like biting down on a rotten tooth, knowing that the pain would fade as you pressed into it.

But that was the past, and Nate wasn’t a band-aid for her head, he wasn’t a distraction, he was what she wanted, and she hoped he felt the same.

 

He slowed for a moment, his lips trailing across her jaw down to her neck, just breathing hard. He moaned against her skin, hot and flushed as their bodies moved together.

She nearly whined when he slowed down, nearly pushed up, wanting to reach release, then she shuddered, feeling the slow aching building up he was giving her as he calmed down, the way his mouth on her neck made her stomach flip, and she relaxed into him, rolling up with each lazy thrust, shivering with every hot breath he panted across her skin.

Nate kissed her neck, huffing against her skin where he’d left a wet press of his tongue then moaned. “..fuck..you got any idea…how fucking good you feel….?” He panted, moving up and kissing her hard again as he sped up. “..fucking perfect…”

He drove the breath from her as he moved faster again, and when he crushed his mouth to hers, told her she was perfect, she moaned, panting over his lips as he brought her up on the start of that peak, so that any words were lost as she started to cry out.

He felt her start to come and moved his hand down quickly to help her along, rubbing his fingers over her clit as she moved on him and if her outcries weren’t enough to tip him over, the way she seemed to grow hotter did. No matter, he was coming within moments of her and her moans were joined with louder ones of his own.

He moved his hand then with that last of himself thrust in deeper, stilling there as the last of his orgasm quieted and all that was left of him was a shaking mess.

Audrey lay under him, hips still softly moving as she started to come down, hands in his hair as she kept her eyes closed, just losing herself in his weight, his panted breath over her skin.

“Let me stay…” She whispered. “Let me stay tonight.”

 

Nate frowned, burying his face in her neck as he slowly settled down. That wasn't up to him..how could it be?..she didn’t belong to him, she was a child of the system. Who was he to keep her..

“Baby..” He breathed. “Baby I want to…baby I want you to stay..”

He let the but hang, knowing how it sounded, but also knowing that she knew he was right. If she kept staying out, getting in trouble…her mother would win that court case, and she would gain custody of Audrey…there was no way he could let that happen.

She felt her chest tighten, nodding to herself.

“I know…. I know…. I can’t…”

Raising her hands to run through her hair, she pressed her fingers to her eyes, steadying her breathing, not wanting to cry at the unfairness of it all.

 

Nate rose up over her and put his hands to her cheeks, kissing her forehead. “Baby..don’t cry, please..baby..we’ve got time, lay with me, just lay with me..”

He moved so she was over him, his hands on her back moving slowly up and down soothingly. “Baby..lay with me..ok?…”

She let him pull her to his chest, threading her arms around his neck as she buried her face against it, her exhales hot over his skin, her cheeks even hotter as she swallowed hard, pushing any tears that had threatened to fall, far down.

“I’m sorry…. I was dumb to ask.” She said softly, closing her eyes as he stroked her back.

“No..no it wasnt stupid…” Nate sighed, kissing into her hair. “I want you too, wish that you didn’t have to go back to that shit hole…wish I could help you…wish there was a way to just..make you happy…” He sighed.

If he could throw all his money at someone, something he’d throw it all to get Audrey somewhere good, somewhere nice, and happy…somewhere she was loved.

 

“I’m happy when I’m with you.” She admitted, stroking  the hair at the back of his head as she breathed against his throat.

She knew she had to go back, that they’d only turn a blind eye once or twice.

Nate sighed, kissing the top of her head again then closed is eyes.

“Me too..I’m so happy when I’m with you Aud..”

“It’s not fair that we can’t be happy all the time.” She whispered. “We’re not hurting anyone… we’re not doing anything bad…”

She snuggled against him with a sigh, trying to just enjoy the now, this very moment, and she thought, between Nates Dad coming home and her upcoming court dates, it could be the last time they were together like this for a while.

They lay there a long while, Nate half falling asleep under Audrey’s weight so when he head the door shut downstairs and his brothers footsteps on the stairs he scrambled for the blanket at least to cover her up.

His door was wide open and when his brother rounded the corner they met eye to eye.

“Wow..Nate…close your fucking door….” Kyle rolled his eyes then turned towards his room, shaking his head and mumbling something.

 

Audrey stirred when Nate reached for the blanket, moaning slightly as she nestled into him.

“Is it time to go?” She sighed sleepily, kissing under his jaw.

“No…” Nate sighed, closing his eyes again. “Not yet…I don’t want you to go just yet.”

She smiled a little when he said that, then moved up to kiss the corner of his mouth.

“One day… I’ll have my own place… Then you can come stay with me.. how does that sound.” She chuckled. “You wanna slum it with me in my rat trap studio?”

Nate smiled and nodded. “I would love to come visit you..”

“One day then.” She whispered, taking a deep breath, inhaling the mixed scent of them, feeling a warmth bloom through her chest.

 

 _Don’t fall for him_ , her head had told her, but she hadn’t listened, and now she was lying with him, stroking her fingers across his cheek, his lower lip, smiling softly as she planted delicate kisses to the corner of his mouth.

She would have to go soon. He knew that, but the selfish part of him didn’t want to take he back at all. It wanted to take her and put her in his car and drive far away, never looking back.

He would run from it all for her, with her..he would risk his money, his name..all of it, just so she wouldn’t have to go back..

 

With a resigned sigh, Audrey finally pushed herself to sit up, stretching a little before running her hands through her hair, working the worst of the tangles from it as she glanced around for her clothes, the room dark now that the sun had set while they napped.

Nate sat up as well and as she climbed off the bed he reached for his pants, shoving them on. “Audrey?…” He asked cautiously, watching her re-dress.

She looked over her shoulder at him, his face all sharp angles and shadow in the faint light coming from the open door, and she smiled.

“I have to go….. Gotta play by the rules right?”

She hated it, but she knew she had to at least appear to be playing by the rules. If worst came to worst, if it looked like she was going to have to live with Jane, she didn’t want anyone to think she would run, she wanted them to think she was good, compliant, then maybe they wouldn’t watch her so closely, and she could run.

“i know, it’s not that…” He shook his head and stood up, taking her face in his hands. “I want to give you some money…you know, for smokes and food..whatever you wanna use it for in case we don’t see each other much for a bit..”

He wasnt going to take no for an answer and had already took out a lump from is account for her.

 

Audrey looked down as she felt him press the cash into her hand, frowning slightly when she saw how much it was.

“Nate…” She didn’t want it, didn’t want to hold it, didn’t want to take it, and it took a huge amount of self control not to thrust it back into his hand in disgust, to bite back on the feeling that he was buying her.

He wasn’t.

Her heart told her that he was only trying to look after her in a situation they were equally helpless in.

Taking a deep breath, she held it up, peeling a few notes off and handing most of it back.

“I share a room with two kleptomaniacs… and if one of the careers find it they’re gonna wanna know how I got so much… so…. this is fine…. Thank you..” She smiled at him and folded the bills up, putting them in her back pocket.    

He noted all she took and sighed, knowing that wouldn’t get her very far if she needed to run. “Aud…Take a little more..please, just in case something comes up..you know…if you need to buy tampons or whatever…I want you to be comfortable…”

He was coming off as an ass, but he really just wanted her to be ok while he was posing as perfect son, or maybe he was just paranoid that she would run, and if she did….she’d at east be able to get farther with more.

She felt her gaze harden, then shook her head, taking two more notes off him.

“Ok… happy?” She stuffed them in her pocket with less care than before, then took a deep breath before putting her arms around him, holding him tight.

 

“It feels like goodbye.” She said quietly. “And it’s so dumb… I’ll see you at school when I’m there… but it still feels like goodbye.”

Nate tossed the rest of the cash on his bed then sighed, wrapping his arms around her tightly. “It’s not goodbye…were not gonna say good bye because good bye means we’ll never see each other again..”

He didn’t like to think that they wouldn’t be together again, because they would. soon.

Pulling back he kissed her hard then nodded. “Now come on..gotta get you back before Ms. Silvia doesn’t let me pick you up for school anymore.”

Audrey nodded when he pulled back from the kiss, hoping he was right, but she felt like any small amount of control she’d had before was in danger of being taken away from her.

It felt stupid to think before she’d worried about being on her own at 18, and now it was all she could hope for.

They finished dressing properly, and she grabbed her things, holding his hands as they went down to the car, only letting go as they got in, immediately picking it up again as they started off for home.

* * *

 

Once parked outside, Nate looked to her, waiting to see if she’d just leave or if she would stay for a bit longer.

“I’m gonna take you to school tomorrow, if you let me.” He smiled at her, lifting her fingers to his lips.

The corner of her mouth lifted to a smile as he kissed her fingers, and she nodded softly. “Yeah… I’d like that…”

She leaned forwards to kiss him, her hand moving from his mouth to his cheek as she kissed him slowly, sweetly then she pulled back a little, resting her forehead on his.

Outside, it started to rain. Light splatters against the windscreen, running down into the guttering as it started to get harder.  

With her head still pressed to his, her eyes closed, she ran her finger between their lips.

 

“I have this feeling, that if stuff starts to happen… It’ll happen fast.. All these court orders, they had them in place way before the first meeting, for all I know they already got the ball rolling… and if it happens fast and they win….”

She bit down on her lip, not even wanting to verbalize it.

“I’m gonna tell you something, because I’m afraid if I don’t I might not get a chance to… So I’m gonna tell you, and then I’m gonna get out the car… ok?”

Audrey leaned in to kiss him again, a little harder this time, then moved her lips over to his ear, breathing across it for a moment, before kissing the lobe, then whispering, “Nate… I love you.”

She moved away from him straight away, not even looking, then slipped from the car, pulling her jacket around her as she crossed the street to the house.  

 

Nate watched as she disappeared in the doorway of the house then stared just a but longer, jumping when the sky lit up and a crack of thunder followed.

_Nate… I love you._

* * *

 

It was all he could hear on the drive back home. Why would she say that?..no one had ever loved him, shit..he doubted even his parents loved him. Maybe he’d heard her wrong…the rain making it hard to hear, mixed with the sound of his car engine.

Even still, as he lay in bed and stare at the ceiling he could hear her, clear as day.

_Nate… I love you._

He frowned then licked out across his bottom lip, then pressing his pipe between them he closed his eyes.

If what she said about the court orders and shit was true, he might not ever see her again, and that hurt more than he thought possible. Especially now since she found the words to tell him how she felt, when he couldn’t even verbalize the same for her.

But he did..he loved her. He knew that now..maybe knew it a day ago, or a the day before that..didn’t matter.

He had to move fast now, find her that lawyer. He wasnt losing her.

* * *

 

“Was your phone switched off?” Silvia caught her as she went up the steps.

Audrey shook her head and pulled it out, frowning down at it as it showed two missed calls from her.

“Sorry… I had the ringer turned down.”

“Well… We got a meeting tomorrow afternoon. I’m gonna pick you up from school at lunch time.”

Already.

She swallowed hard and nodded, not bothering to ask any more, just carrying on up to her room, grabbing her sleeping clothes and heading for the bathroom to shower, and after, wrapping Nates money up in a baggie, pinning it inside her underwear, on her hip, just to keep it safe.

As she lay in bed, her hands tucked up under her head, she wondered what Nate had thought when she told him she loved him.

She hadn’t planned to, it had happened all of a sudden, the overwhelming urge to make it real.

Turning on her side, she thought she’d probably know in the morning.  

Either he’d pick her up, or he wouldn’t, and then she’d know..


	15. Drier warmed clothes

Nate was up late, digging through his dad’s books to find a list of numbers, writing them down with names then putting everything back. He would give Audrey the list tomorrow, her and Silvia could take it from there.

They were the best of the best…his father had used then to get out of some serious shit and he was betting just about anything they would live to eat up some more of his money, even if it was just for some small civil case like this.

* * *

He sat out across her place, smoke pinched between tight fingers as he waited for her. He didn’t know what he was going to say when/if she came out….but he knew now he was there….he couldn’t back out.

 

When Audrey came out the door and saw him parked across the street, she hesitated.

There was a big part of her that thought he probably wouldn’t be there, that she’d overstepped the mark, that he’d decide that was the straw that broke the camels back and just forgets it, forgets her.

But he was here.

She looked both ways before crossing the road, opening the door and slipping in, only glancing across at him before setting her gaze out the windscreen.

“Hey.” 

 

Nate leaned over to her and pulled her to his lips, kissing her hard and fast, breathing through his nose before pulling back only an inch.

“Did you mean it?…”

The ferocity of his kiss took her by surprise, but she found herself pushing hard into it, her hands going up to his, and when he pulled back, when he asked her, she swallowed hard, nodding.

“Of course….. Of course I mean it…”

Nate smiled, big and stupid then kissed her again, his fingers curling in her hair as he did then pulled back again.

“I love you too…Fuck, I love you…Audrey..I fucking love you..”

She found herself laughing as he kissed at her, peppering her face with declarations of love, and finally, she took his face in her hands and kissed him slow and deep, then smiled against his lips.

“And I fucking love you Nate….”

“No ones ever told me that before..” He chuckled, kissing her lower lip after they’d slowed again. “Not in a long time at Least.. Oh!..here..” he pulled away and grabbed out the list of names and handed into her. “Tell your caseworker to start calling..tell her to tell them you’re a friends of my father..they’ll take anything if it means getting more of his money..”

 

Audrey looked down at the list he gave her, then hugged him tight, clinging onto him for a moment, then pulling back with a sniff.

“I got a meeting today… I’ll talk to her about it… So… You don't have to pick me up after school, I don’t know when I’ll be done.”

Nate’s smile fell a little and he nodded. She was so quick to dismiss him as soon as she had the list..he was just thinking too hard about it.

“Ok..I better get you to school..” he smiled, kissing her again. “Any one of them..doesn’t matter who..”

 

As he drove, she bent over her phone, tapping the numbers into her contacts, worried that if she handed over the list, she might never see it again.

Maybe it would be useless, maybe she’d only be allowed a state-appointed lawyer, if at all, but at least she had numbers now.

When he drew up at school, she looked across at him, then moved over to him sliding onto his lap and kissing him hard, her hands pushing into his hair as she did.

 

He welcomed the kiss, wrapping his arms around her fully and pressing her closer to him as they did. He wished he was going with her, honestly... he was bored at home and in a way, couldn’t wait to go back to school next week. 

His dad would be home, but as long as he was in school it wouldn’t be terrible. If Audrey was here..that was.

 

She was scared.

She wouldn’t admit it, tried to hide it, but the thought of going to this meeting today filled her with dread. Anything could happen.

What if they already had court dates?

What if they got a court order to move her to a home nearer to where they lived before they even started?

What if she walked in there and had to leave with some other social worker, leaving Silvia to box up her stuff and send it on.

Nate wouldn’t understand the feeling of having the rug continuously pulled from under your feet, to never know what it was like to stand on solid ground. How many times had she left a home without even being given the time to say goodbye to anyone?

Too many.

 

“That’s first bell…” He breathed against her lips as he heard it, kids walking past his car. “I don’t want you to be late…” He kissed her again though, deeper this time, to prove a point. 

“I love you..ok? Text me before this meeting…and call me after..” 

She nodded, not trusting herself to speak for a second, then pressed another soft kiss to his mouth.

“I will…. I love you too.” She whispered, then smiled a little at the way it sounded, before sliding off his lap and grabbing her bag.

“I’ll keep you up to date.” She promised, shutting the car door behind her and heading inside..

He hoped she would..hoped that she wouldn't just take his money and run. Not that it would matter much..it wasn't even his..but he didnt think his heart could take it.

* * *

Silvia picked her up at midday and drove her across town to the court house.

_ "nearly there."  _ She messaged Nate, head bent low over her phone so she didn't have to talke to Silvia. _ " _ _ Hoping its an informal meeting today." _

She looked up when Silvia parked, and put her phone away, turning it off first _. _

* * *

 

Audrey felt calmer when she saw it was just Silvia and Amy Channing, her case worker, in the meeting, she felt she could let her guard down a little, enough to ask questions anyway.

“Hi Audrey…. Sorry to have to pull you out of school today, but this was the only time slot I had at such short notice… Now… You already know your Mom,s looking to file for custody of you…. We have a court date for the initial hearing, uh…. 30th April….. only a couple of weeks away.”  Amy glanced over at Silvia with a frown. “They haven’t given us much time to prepare.”

Silvia just snorted.

“Ok… I need to ask, for the record. Audrey, Do you want to live with your mom?”

“No.”

“Ok… and do you want us to fight for you to stay in care until you’re 18.”

“Yes.”

“That’s all I needed to hear.” She smiled, making quick notes in her diary.

“Do I need a lawyer?” Audrey asked nervously.

Amy looked over at Silvia, then to Audrey, softening her gaze a little. “We’ll appoint you one, yes…”

“Only… I got a few names… I was given a list of lawyers… good lawyers.” Audrey slid the list over to Amy and watched as she read through it. 

“Audrey…. I don’t know where you got this list… But we can’t hire any of these guys to represent you… These are, intimidatingly expensive lawyers.”

“Maybe I can afford it.” She shrugged. 

“Oh honey… We’re talking tens of thousands of dollars.”

She nodded, understanding that was that, end of conversation.

“They’re trying to get you moved, Jane wants you back in Ithaca so that you’re closer and she can visit more frequently.”  

Panic gripped at her chest.

“I don’t want to…. they can’t make me, right?”

“We can certainly fight it.” Amy sighed, then looked at her watch. “I’m sorry… That’s all I have today. The next meeting we have will be with your mother and her lawyer, on…. uh…. Wednesday….”

* * *

 

Silvia took her home via a drive thru, and she sucked at her shake through the straw, like she had a grudge against it.

“Can you drop me downtown?”

“What for?”

“I wanna go to the gallery.”

* * *

 

She sat in front of the monstrous painting and thought it fitting, could stare at it for hours. the slashed of black and red, the people painted in muted browns and creams. Humanity as only a weak copy of itself.

_ "They’re trying to move me  _

_  Even before the hearing." _

She sent the text to Nate and sighed, turning her attention back to Goya a moment before turning to her phone again.  

" _she said those guys charge TENS of thousands._

_  not even you got that. _

_  maybe it’ll be OK." _

But she started to cry as she sent the text, pulling her knees up to her chest as she sat on the bench.

 

_ "u dnt kno how much $ i have _

_ ill call him _

_ kno him personaly _

_ hes a gud guy" _

He was determined, but it felt like she was giving up. 

_ "were r u" _

 

_ "gallery." _

She was crying too much to type more, she was only glad that this time of day was practically dead in here, and the only one to see her was Goya’s Saturn, and despite his stern glare, he was too busy devouring his son.

 

_ "b there in 10" _

* * *

 

And he was. 

It had started raining again, harder, the sky black save for the lightning shooting across it from time to time. Inside the gallery was quiet, warm, and it wasn't all that hard to spot Audrey sitting with a styrofoam cup of crappy coffee hugged to her chest. 

“Hey..” He sighed, sitting next to her. 

She didn’t say anything at first, just leaned against him, as though she could draw the strength she needed from him, from just a little contact.

“If the worst happened…” She said softly, sniffling a little (and god she probably looked like crap.. She’d cried herself stupid earlier)… “If they won…. And I ran… Would you go with me?”

He hadn’t expected her to ask him to run away with her, why would she..unless she wanted some financial back up, but then why did she just take the money he’d offered her last night…

“You want to run Audrey?” He looked down at her, a frown set between is brows. “You wanna run away?” 

He kept his voice down, mindful of the people that  _ were  _ there, not needed them to hear a couple of teenagers talking about running plans. Especially not him..

He had face. People in this town knew him, knew his family was more like it. He was Nathaniel fucking Brookes, eldest son of Gov. Roger Brookes. Kid like him? People would notice if he wasnt there..girl like Audrey? Just another empty desk at school. 

“I won’t let you lose.” The answer wasnt necessarily no, just..not yes. If he ran, three things would happen. He would be tracked, his funds cut off, and if found he would be shipped off. He would be no good to Audrey then.

 

Audrey ran her wrist over nose and sniffed, nodding a little, not looking at him yet.

It was stupid of her to ask.

Of course he wouldn’t go with her.

His money would be cut off, even if no one came for him, they’d stop his money, and he wasn’t like her, he wouldn’t be able to cope without that safety net.

She’d once spent a month alone when she was ten, maybe eleven. She got by, she got money, she stole, she hid, she knew she could survive.

Maybe he loved her, but asking him to give up his comfortable life was a step too far.

_ I won’t let you lose  _

The casual arrogance of the rich. They never lost.

 

“It’s ok…. Forget it.” She wiped at her face and gave him a small smile.

“No..” He shook his head and took her hand. “No..I wont  _ forget it.”  _ He huffed, looking around them. “You run..and- “ He looked over her shoulder and stopped seeing a few more people pile in. What the fuck was it with rainy days and art galleries?.. 

He returned his gaze to her then and sighed. “Come on..lets go get some real coffee..ok? We can talk more about this then..” 

Walking outside, the rain hadn’t let up and in just the short distance from the building to his car they were both essentially drenched. “Fuck..here..” He reached in the back after cranking the heat up and tossed her a hoodie of his. “Change into it so you don’t get pneumonia or something.” 

He was quiet while she did then looked to her. “Audrey..I know you want to run, and believer me, if I could..I would be right there next to you. You’re not stupid, you know why I cant..” He reached across for her hand, swiping his thumb over it as he shivered. “You know what it’ll do to my father, then what he’ll do to me when he finds me..” 

“I know…” She said quietly, taking a deep breath and letting it out slow, gently threading her fingers through his. “I know… It’s just an automatic response…..  a knee jerk…. and I just wanted to think  you’d come with me..” 

Audrey looked at him now, trying to smile.

“I just…. When I went into care, and it was just awful, but I when I was on the psych ward I used to think..  _ I got through worse _ … and I made it, and when I was in home after home, some of them much worse than where I am now.. I just kept thinking,  _ I got through worse, I can do this.. _ .. and it’s like, every time I think it’s over, they throw something new at me…”   

She ran her nose slowly over her shoulder, making her breaths slow and even before talking again.

“So when does that end? I mean…. maybe it doesn’t… maybe I’m gonna wake up one day in a truck stop motel with a kid of my own and wonder how the fuck I got there…”

 

“I would gladly run away with you..believe me I’ve thought about it…” he sighed, closing his eyes, pushing his own issues away again. “Not like I wanna be Who I am…”

She looked up at him, then let go of his hand, putting her arms around him, feeling how hot he was through his shirt where he’d got wet.

“I’m sorry…. You must get so sick of hearing about me…. I know things are shitty for you too.” She sighed.

She’d never been one to play the my childhoods was crappier than yours game, although she was 90% sure of winning every time, and sometimes, she thought it was the ones, like, who said nothing, who were the ones who truly suffered. So it wasn’t for her to judge how his life was. Rich kids had it bad too… they just didn’t end up in care.  

 

“Don’t worry about it.” Nate shrugged, dropping his head to her shoulder and closing his eyes. “Right now…we gotta deal with What’s going on in your life, get you out of the danger of ending up somewhere you don’t wanna be..I can help, I want to help.”

He hugged her tighter, breathing hard then pulled back and took her face in his hands.

“Im gonna help.”

Audrey just nodded.

She wasn’t sure she could do it, approach a lawyer on her own, she wouldn’t know what to say, she’d mess it up. It was one thing to face Janes lawyer, someone she could look at with contempt, but to talk to one meant to help her?

 

“You’ll get cold.” She sniffed, turning her face in his hands to kiss his palm. “You should go home and get changed.”

“Come with me?” He asked hopefully, closing his eyes again. “Come with me, well both get dry…I’ll put your clothes in the dryer, we can cuddle…”

He knew it was a stretch. But worth the try.

She nodded against his hand, looking at him finally, smiling when he opened his eyes.

“That actually sounds really good.” She half laughed, leaning forwards to kiss him softly before he started the car, pulling away from the curb.

“You gotta call anyone?” He asked halfway home, glancing over at her with a small smile. “I don’t want to get you in trouble..”

“No… Not yet. It’s still early, and I got my phone switched on so if they need me they can call.”

She reached across for his hand, holding it lightly in her own, wanting to keep some contact as they drove.

“Ok.” He smiled then continued on until soon enough he was pulling up the drive and parking.

* * *

 

Huddled together under the patio they shared a smoke before heading in and stripping down, tossing cold clothes in the dryer and wrapping up in a blanket on his bed where he held her close, kissing into her hair as she breathed steadily against his chest.

It amazed him that this girl, so beautifully fucked up in possibly every way could be hanging around him, because she wanted to, at least he hoped…

 

With anyone else she would have thought he was just trying to get laid, wrapped up in the blanket in just their underwear, they held each other close, just taking comfort from being close as they warmed up again.

She nuzzled her nose against the base of his throat and sighed heavily.

“This is nice.” She whispered.

“I feel like we need some hot cocoa or something..” He chuckled, shifting down in bed a little, drawing her on his lap. “You know…with some schnapps in it..and mini marshmallows…”

“Mm…” She smiled, holding him tighter. “But that would mean having to move from here…. I don’t think i’m that committed to the idea of hot chocolate that I wanna get out from under this blanket with you.”

She tilted her head back to look at him, smiling a little wider. He always made her feel so calm. Not that he practically fixed all the shit, but just being there, being a steady foundation, someone she could count on, is was ridiculously simple, but soothing in a way she’d never experienced. 

He looked down into her eyes a moment as she looked up at him then smiled again, shaking his head. “Yeah..me either.”

“Hey…” She whispered. “C’mere… I wanna tell you something.”

When he bent his head, she put her hands to his face and pressed her mouth to his ear to whisper… “I love you, Loser, stoner, piss baby…” She giggled softly, pressing a kiss where her breath had tickled him.  

He smiled at that, laughing a little then turned to kiss her softly. “Thought we agreed that I wasn’t a piss baby..what happened to that huh?” He laughed again. “I love you too.”

“yeah we agreed… but I’m mean…” She laughed, pressing up to kiss him again.

Pulling away she ran her nose across his and hummed. “OK… not a piss baby…. not a loser either…. You’re so far from that Nate.” She said softly, reaching up to run her fingers through his damp hair.  

 

He gave a small smiled then closed his eyes, allowing himself the comfort of her touch, to let himself relax back on the bed again as they talked.

“You know..out of all the girls I’ve fucked..you’re the only on who’s just done this with me…lay here, talking,yanno? It’s nice..”

“Me too… guys I mean. Not girls..” She pressed close to him, her arm around his chest, curled up against his side. 

“I could get used to this.” She said quietly. “Just… being like this with you… I mean, sex is great… Sex with you is fucking amazing…” She chuckled, kissing his neck as she smiled. “But this is something different…. it feels more intimate…. or am I just being weird?”

He laughed then shook his head. “If I knew anything about intimacy I would guess it must be something like this..”

“We’re not so different really.” Audrey said after a while, talking against his shoulder, not looking at him as she spoke.  “You ever feel like you were trying to fill a space in you…. but you filled it with the wrong stuff all the time? you filled it with drugs and sex and it just made that space bigger? …. Then you find someone special, and suddenly, it’s like they fit that space perfectly…”

 

Nate sighed, nodding a little. He had a pretty big hole, filled it as best he could but not even money could buy enough stuff to top it off, only really seemed to make the hole deeper.

“I know how that is..Yeah.”

She closed her eyes and lazily stroked her fingers along his collar bone, her lips pressed lightly to his shoulder, their bodies warm now, under the thick blankets. 

Nate took a deep breath, holding her closer.

He doubted that she cared enough to ask about his hole..he knew about hers mostly, some things were a bit obscure but for the most part he thought he had her down.

Even if she did, he didn’t know if she’d be interested in the answer.

They’d been silent a while, and maybe he thought she’d fallen asleep, certainly he started a little when she spoke.

“Tell me how you know how it is.” She said gently. “That empty space in your chest…”

She’d tried to ask him about himself last night and he’d clammed up on her, and maybe it was because she generally didn’t talk to anyone about anything, let alone their own lives, but the way he’d been so quick to shut up, to change the subject… hell, it was probably the reason they ended up fucking… just him trying to change the subject the best way he knew how.

But she didn’t want this to be one sided, not in anyway, and like the way she didn’t want to be dependent on him for money, she also didn’t want to feel dependent on him for emotional support, not without being able to give something back to him… and she could do that… she could try.

 

Nate swallowed back the tightness he’d gotten in his chest and shrugged.

“I don’t know..it’s a pretty boring story, nothing near as exciting as yours..” he chuckled, shutting off again. “Guess just comes with being a dumb rich kid with busy parents…you get everything you want, toys, money, games..” -everything except love and support- he thought.

“Just get greedy I guess, people stop paying attention to you, you make you’re own fun..drugs become the one thing you look forward to at the end of the day and if you’re lucky enough to get a girl to let you fucked her in the back of your car then Hey…it was a good day..”

“It’s not greedy.” She said, pressing a kiss to his shoulder. “It’s just…. misplaced… using one thing in place of the thing you really want.”

It was a conversation she’d had a million times with countless therapists, the ones who tried to stop her at 12 and 13 from being self destructive.

“What do you want Nate?…. What is it you really want?”

He stayed quiet, because how could he answer when he didn’t even know? What DID he want…

“..don’t matter.” He said at last, hugging her to his chest and sighing. “Got you now..”

 

It wasn’t really an answer, and maybe she just had to hope he’d open up when he was ready, she hugged him tight, moving up so she was nose to nose with him, and kissed him gently.

“Yeah… you got me…. For as long as you want me Nate..” 

They lay there for a bit longer, then when he head the chime of the dryer go off he sighed. “Clothes are done..”

It felt like he was dismissing her, that he was upset at her for trying to talk to him again, so she just nodded, sitting up as he shifted, her arms going around herself as the blanket fell from her shoulders.  

“Hey…I didn’t say leave..” he chuckled softly, grabbing at her and snuggling her back to him. “Well go together…on three and well waddle our blanket shield down the hall..Ok?” He kissed her cheek then started counting, lifting her off the bed and started to shuffle.

He was kidding around again, like a dog that’s shaken itself and decided to just buck up, he’s smiling and trying to make her do the same, half shuffling them, half carrying her, bouncing her up every few steps to make her giggle, and she wonders what it’s like, to just do that, to switch from one mood to another in minutes.  

 

Once in the laundry room Nate lifted her up and plopped her on the dryer, blanket under her butt so it wouldn’t be too hot then spread her legs so he could dig out their clothes.

“You ever put clothes on fresh out of the dryer?”

She pulled the remainder of the blanket up between her legs so it wasn’t in his way, leaning forwards to watch him as he took their clothes out.

“No… Never..” She admitted.

“What!” He looked up at her in mock horror. “Never? It’s the best thing ever! Ok..well here’s a sock…” He hummed and lifted her foot, shoving it in.

Audrey laughed, wiggling her toes as he pushed the sock on.

“oooh… cozy!” She grinned, looking back down as he rummaged in the drier again..

“Aha! And the other..” he shoved that on on too, returning to his position of head in dryer ass hanging out. “And here’s your shirt…”

She held out her arms as he pulled it over her head, smoothing it down her sides, and she smiled despite herself, the warm fabric, soft and comforting against her skin. 

“Right?” He laughed, seeing the pleased look on her face. “Now….pants…” he grinned, lifting her jeans out. “Best part..”

Audrey lifted her legs, letting him pull them most of the way up her thighs, then, as he held the waist band, she put her arms around his neck and hopped off the drier, wriggling into them as he put her down, hopping about as she did them up.

“It’s so _ nice _ !” She squealed, wiggling her hips and laughing.  

He hugged her, snuggling closer and leaching her heat. “I know!…best thing ever..so comfy..”

“Stop stealing my heat!” She giggled, squirming away from him and snatching his clothes from the drier. “I want all of it.” She grinned, dragging his shirt over her head, ducking away from him when he went to grab it and pulling his jeans on over the top of hers.

“Hey! no fair!” He laughed, lunging at her and snatching her round the waist as she turned to run away and swung her round. “My warmth! And you’ve stolen it!”

 

Audrey squealed as he spun her, laughing breathlessly as his pants fell off her legs onto the floor, laughing too much to pull away when he stole his shirt back.

“I’m sorry…” She giggled hard, moving over to him again, helping him pull his shirt back down and pressing grinny kisses to his mouth… “I’m sorry,…” She took a breath, then kissed him properly, moving closer, her hands reaching up to his face as she tilted her head back, pushing her body towards him.

“Now they're all cold..” he pouted, kissing her back and laughing.

“Will you ever forgive me?” he looked up at him, making her eyes big, puppy like, making her mouth turn down as though ashamed.

“That was just evil…. I’m not sure I could forgive me…” 

Nate pouted an pretended to sniff, Putting his arms around himself and shivered dramatically. “I-I-I..dunno..cold clothes just aren’t the s-s-same as warm dryer clothes…” 

He looked at her pathetically and shuffled closer to her until he was pressed right up to her, nuzzling his face in her neck and whimpering like a puppy. “And you were so mean about it…laughing..looking so damn warm..there’s only one thing that would make me forgive you…” 

She couldn’t help giggling as he whimpered against her neck, and she put her arms around him, petting him softly as she grinned, wriggling against him.

“What’s that? I’d do anything to make you forgive me…”  

 

Nate stay silent a moment before answering, wanting to make sure she understood  _ just  _ what he wanted, It was selfish to ask this of her, none of his business really, just the thought of losing her made him deeply sad. How odd was that? 

Pulling back from her but still staying as close he looked down into her eyes, his thumbs moving along her jaw lightly. 

“Don’t run..” He breathed, “..I don’t want you to run..”

He didn’t know what he would do if she did..try and find her? Let her go? It wasnt up to him whether she did it or not, he couldn’t control her and if shit went South with her mom and the court crap..she might. 

He had all these half baked ideas about what he could do to help, but he didn’t know if she’d take to any of them..they would only be seen as a handout.

 

When he went silent and still, she held her breath, afraid when he pulled back to look down at her seriously, and as he spoke, she frowned up at him.

For the first time, she wondered if she could keep a promise like that, he’d maybe have no idea how much he was asking of her, but she wanted to try.

“Ok…” She whispered, keeping her gaze locked on his. “Ok… I won’t. I won’t run Nate.”

He smiled, pulling her to his lips and breathing hard. “Thank you…Thank you…” breathed over her lips like prayer.

She pulled him closer, smothering his mantra with her mouth, hoping she could keep this promise for him, hoping it would all work out.

It scared her, because it wasn’t just  _ her _ anymore.

A few weeks ago, no one would have cared what happened to her, or if they did, she would have been a passing thought in a care workers head, a sigh fit into the space between two sessions in her Dr’s office, then…. nothing.

But Nate. 

He’d invaded her, seeped into her head, her heart, and now, nothing was simple anymore.

 

“I love you Ok? And I’ve never love anyone before and it’s fucking terrifying..” he sighed, kissing her again. “Im scared I’ll fucked it up, and Im scared you’ll drop me..that you’ll get sick of me…that make sense?….you run, What’s left of me here…”

“You’re not the only one whos scared of fucking it up…” She said softly, pressing gentle kisses to his mouth as he held her tight. 

She didn’t have the first clue about love of any kind, all she knew was from movies. The fake, plastic kind of love they showed played out in 90 minutes.

They didn’t show her how it felt in her chest, in her stomach, they didn’t explain how she felt when he wasn’t with her, when his face fell when she shouted at him, when he held her like this and confessed how inept he felt.

And thats how she knew it was real, because it didn’t feel like the movies at all. It was brighter, sharper, terrifying.

 

She pushed up to kiss him properly, and every time she pulled back, she whispered another _ I love you _ against his lips. 

He matched each confession with one of his own, telling her that she WAS special, worthy, loved.

When she finally, reluctantly, pulled back, she pushed his hair away from his face, smiling up at him sadly.

“I have to go…. Curfew and … shit…” She sighed. “But… It’s Saturday tomorrow… When’s your Dad home? Can I see you before he gets back.” 

“I’m not sure when..Sunday probably.” Nate sighed with a half shrug. “I’ll call him after dropping you off, let you know. We should be able to hand out a bit tomorrow, go to lunch or something, come back here?..cuddle a bit or whatever.”

He tried to act ok about having to take her back, hating it though.

“..  _ or whatever. _ … You don’t gotta play it cool Nate… we can still fuck..” She laughed, trying make light of it, feeling the sadness creep in between them. “.. then you can cuddle the shit outta me…. Because… as well as being amazing in bed… You’re a first class cuddler…” She smiled, wrinkling her nose a little and kissing him again, her arms around his neck and hoping he’d smile for her, because it was hard enough to leave without thinking he was down as well.

 

He laughed softly, smiling as he kissed off her lips and across her cheek. “Oh good, cuz you know it might be awhile until we can again…I’m a needy needy person..” He chuckled and growled as he bit her ear. “It’s a condition.”

“What a curse for you…” She pouted. “But… where there’s a will there’s a way… and you have a car…. I have two weeks before my hearing… We could have a lot of car sex between now and then…”

“I do..” He nodded and mouthed along her jaw, grinning when he met her lips. “And I just LOVE a good car fuck..something about how open it is, anyone could walk by..see me making Ya moan.” He laughed then pecked her nose.

Audrey scrunched her nose under his lips and laughed.

“God! you’re so narcissistic!” She chuckled. “Next you’ll be insisting on fucking in front of a mirror so you can watch yourself flexing while fucking..” She teased, ducking her head and biting him gently on the chin. 

Nate laughed and dropped his head, glancing shyly up at her then bit his lip. “Yeah..been there, done that. Made her watch too, shoulda seen her face..”

She laughed then, pushing away a little as she half doubled over.

“Oh my god! You pig! Nate!!…………Please tell me you looked away long enough to get the poor girl off…”

He cocked his head and smiled a big sly grin. “She got off. Don’t worry about that, they always do with me.” He chuckled and pulled her back into a hug, kissing her neck. “We’d better get you back though before you get the cops called out for your arrest or something..”

She let him hold her for a moment, then smiled against his neck. 

“I don’t care who you fucked…. but I want all your hugs to myself.” She chuckled, nuzzling under his jaw, trying to ignore the fact they had to go. 

He smiled then scooped her up around his hips and spun her round again, holding her up around his waist then smiled at her.

They couldn’t avoid it anymore, it was rounding on dinner time, and as much as he’d like her to spend the night here again, he knew that they wouldn’t allow it.

Audrey giggled, wrapping her arms and legs around him, burying her face against his neck, and when he stood still, she took a deep breath against him, sighing softly, holding him a little tighter before sliding down his body.

“Ok…. Time to go…”

* * *

 

I’ll text you after I call my dad, let you know when he’ll be blowing into town.” Nate said as they sat in his car a moment before she left. “Then we can plan for something. K?”

She nodded, half turned in her seat facing him, her hand curled in his.

“It’s ok if you can’t… you can still text me sometime… right?”  

“Yeah, I’ll be able to text.” He nodded, leaning across to kiss her deeply, taking a slow breath through his nose.

In all honesty, his dad probably wouldn’t even acknowledge him unless he needed him to be somewhere with him, both him and Kyle needing to be cleaned up and presentable to the public, pretend they are the model children of the governor.

Pulling back from the kiss, she ran her hand softly over his cheek and smiled. “I love you… catch you later…” She whispered, kissing him quick before making herself go, because if she didn’t, she might refuse to leave the damn car. 

“Love you too…” he sighed as she left, watching her go inside before pulling away. He’d go grab some food before heading home, then he’d call his dad.

* * *

 

There was no news, for which she was eternally grateful…. The less meetings that popped up, the easier it would be to pretend nothing was happening.

“Joining us for dinner?” Silvia cocked an eyebrow at her when she nodded. 

“Sure… Why not.. Might not have many more here .”

“Aw Chica… don’t say that… “

But she didn’t sound convincing, she sounded resigned, weary, like she was on the edge of professional burn out. 

Audrey had seen it a lot. People didn’t stay at the coal face for long, the stress, the inability to leave your work  _ at _ work, she’d feel sorry for them, but at least they got to leave, to do something else, they didn’t have to live it.

* * *

 

Nate was sat in the living area on the couch, rolling his pipe between his fingers a moment before dialing his dad, of course it ringing until just the last second before he answered in his gruff, stern but Oh so lovable voice.

“Nathaniel.”

“Hey, dad. Was just wondering when you’re coming home? Mom said you’d be home next week, right?” He asked, trying to make it sound like he wasn’t scared.

There was a pause, a shuffling of papers and the sound of his father pulling the phone from his face and talking to someone else. “Tomorrow night. I have a meeting in the morning and then Im on a plane.”

“Oh, alright.” Nate smiled, grateful he’d get a little bit with Audrey. “I’ll see you then, then.”

“Goodbye Nathaniel.” His dad hung up, leaving the line dead.

Ok.

* * *

 

Audrey left the table early, getting herself in bed early, curling up to read a little, really not up to sitting downstairs and watching someone elses idea of good TV.

She put her phone on vibrate and pushed it under her pillow, wondering if he’d text, or call or anything, and wondering why she still doubted he might. 

He’d said he would, but old habits die hard she guessed.  

 

" _hell b home tmmoro night._

_ we can hang in the day? _

_ if u still want" _

He was lain on the couch now, smoking even though he would regret it when his dad came home. Fuck it.

 

Audrey glanced up when her phone buzzed, reaching under her pillow for her phone.

" _Well… I guess I don’t have anything better to do ;)"_

 

_ "what time? Xx" _

 

_ "whenever. They do a handover at 8, so anytime after that? _

_ you OK?" _

 

Nate waited a minute to answer. Was he? He didn’t know. He was torn between being excited and dreading his dad coming home. Guess he hadn’t gotten the message yet that he just really didn’t fucking care about him.

" _yea m'good._

_ just havin a smoke then idk  _

_ clean mayb  _

_ how bout u?" _

 

" _just lying in bed, reading for English. >>lonely though, wish you were here"_

 

_ "wish u were here 2 _

_ u could help me clean lol _

_ not touching Kyle’s room tho" _

 

_ "OK, serious question. _

_ all that money, why do you guys not have a cleaner??" _

_ "it’s just me n Kyle… _

_ we can do it" _

 

She let it drop, but it still seemed odd to her.

" _hey._

_ wanna see something?" _

 

_ "sure what is it? _

_ gnna send nudes?" _

 

She chuckled to herself, glancing back to make sure no one was about to come in, then lifted her shirt, holding her phone up and snapping a picture before sending it to him. 

_ "like?" _

 

When it came through Nate’s eyes went wide and he licked out at his lips. 

" _fuck ya I like.._

_ ur sxy af bby" _

 

_ "still only wish I was there to help you clean?" _

 

_ "nah. i bet we cn find sumthin 2 do _

_ get nice n dirty 2gether _

_ then take a hot soaky bath 2gether _

_ hows that sound" _

 

_ " pretty fucking gd actually lol _

_  I DO miss you tho _

_  and love you x" _

 

" _miss n luv u 2_ "

He smiled, taking a long deep breath and letting it all out at once. How she could love him was still a mystery to him, he’d grown up thinking there was just no one Who ever could.

_ "tmmoro we can get some food, maybe smoke a little.. _

_ picnic at the HH?" _

 

_ "sure. _

_ you picking me up? _

_ what time? Xx" _

 

_ "yea m pickn u up _

_ 11?" _

 

_ " OK bb. See you then.  _

_  gotta sleep now.  _

_  love you xxxxxx" _

 

_ "Night <3" _

Nate looked at the time after sending the text then sighed. It  _ was  _ getting late..and he was a little tired, weed induced sleep sounded good but he had to pick up a little, at least do some laundry and clean up the video games and movies and shit in the living area. 

His dad wouldn’t be anywhere but his office anyways, either that or he’d be out campaigning. It was always something with him. Always working. That’s how he’d grown up, his dad gone, mom barely able to take care of him and Kyle..

They had a nanny at one point, Miss Molly. She was nice, let them stay up and watch movies past their bedtimes and would give them ice cream. He missed her when his mom fired her for ‘ _ stealing her narcotics’. _ It was a ridiculous accusation especially when it was really his mom just taking one too many at night and forgetting.

He never understood what his dad saw in her..maybe she wasnt always crazy, maybe it was after she had him and Kyle shit really scrambled in her head. 

Laying in bed Nate sighed, trying to get comfortable, his bed was cold, too big…empty and he found that he really liked Audrey sleeping in it with him and without her he felt restless. 

  
  
  



	16. Cracks in the dam

The last of the rain had vanished overnight, leaving the morning bright and almost clean looking, even on this shitty street, leaning against her building.

He could have texted her when he got here, but she was fed up of waiting inside.

There was an oppressive mood in the house, and she noticed that even the more vile of her room mates had eased up on her a little, and she wondered just what was being said about her when she wasn’t there, what rumors had grown around the tension in the house.

She knew for one that there would have been noises about her not coming home the other night, so maybe Silvia had let a little slip, and Chinese whispers did the rest.

Audrey didn’t care, not about shit like that.

There wasn’t a single one of them here that was crying for their Mom… They all understood how it was.

When she saw his car round the corner, she tilted her head, squinting into the sun a little and smiled wide as he drew up.

A picnic in a haunted house..how romantic. That’s what he thought while he was at the store picking out some food. He got little containers of macaroni salads and some sub sandwiches, chips, some other things…way too much food for the two of them but one never knew.

He’d also shoved a blanket in the back of his car in case it got cold, and another to put on the floor so they didn’t have to sit in filth.

He had thought about one day going and cleaning up that old house, get a broom after it, some wet rags..but figuring it would probably fall down soon anyways he didn’t bother.

He saw her waiting for him and grinned, rolling down his window.

“Hey beautiful, ready for the best picnic you’ve ever had?”

“Hey beautiful yourself.” She smiled, pulling her hair to the side as she leaned down and kissed him through the open window, before moving round to get in.

As she put her seat belt on, she glanced behind them at the store bags of food on the back seat.

“If I didn’t know you better I’d think I was only one of maybe ten going on this picnic.” She teased.

Nate laughed and leaned over to kiss her cheek. “Shut up, portion control isn’t my forte..besides, we got variety so yay!” He laughed again then pulled away from the curb and headed the right direction.

“How’d you sleep? Sexy dreams bout me?” He glanced at her with a cheeky grin.

“My dreams were sadly full of Homer…” She sighed, then laughed when he frowned. “I got the Iliad to read, fell asleep, woke up with the book on my face…. ew… wonder how many other kids have drooled on that book.” She shuddered.

He smiled over at her. “That must have been a crazy dream.”

Audrey chuckled, then looked over at him coyly. “So… how did you sleep? Or did I send that pic for nothing?”

He smiled and chuckled. “I slept Ok. Took a bit to fall sleep and no..I didn’t do what you’re thinking..I’d rather get off on the real deal. ”

She laughed, twisting round in her seat and reaching back for the bottle of water she’d spied, grabbing it and taking a long pull.

“What time’s your Dad back?”

“Probably a bit after dinner, suits me fine.” He smiled.

“Well… my accounts back in the black again… let me buy you dinner?” She asked, smiling across at him hopefully. “Gotta be my turn, right?”  

He chuckled and shrugged. “I can buy, it’s no issue.”

He thought it was more than likely the money he gave her, not sure if they got an allowance or what at that place.

“I know you can… but I want to.” She said firmly. “It’s just a burger Nate… I can do that..”

“Alright alright.” He chuckled and reached across for her hand. “But Im getting a milkshake and you can’t stop me.” He grinned.

“Fiiiine.” She rolled her eyes, but took his hand, lifting it to her mouth and kissing his knuckles, before curling her lip back a little and biting, giggling when he pulled his hand away.

“Ow..” He pouted, looking sadly at her. “You gotta make that up to me later you know..”

“Uh-oh… I didn’t mean to hurt you.” She sighed dramatically, taking up his hand again. “Want me to kiss it better?”

“Yeah..” He whined a little, pushing out his bottom lip and giving her puppy dog eyes. “Kiss it all better Audrey…”

“Such a baby.” She smile, kissing the knuckle she’d bitten, then all the others, then his fingers, turning his hand over in hers to press kisses to his palm and wrist.

“Better yet?”

He smiled, looking at her again for a second. “No, not yet..I think you better come kiss my lips..it’s a deep rooted pain.”

They were almost to the house, just a few more miles.

Audrey unbuckled her seat belt and moved closer, running her nose across his cheek as he watched the road, then twisted herself to slowly kiss his mouth, making sure he didn’t have to turn to her.

Smiling, Nate kissed back best he could while driving, flicking his tongue against hers when she poked it out, chuckling as he did.

Audrey laughed, moving back as they reached the turn off.

“I’ll finish kissing you better when you’re not driving.” She smiled.

He looked over, grinning. “I count on it.’

She didn’t bother putting her seat belt back on as they drove up the dirt track, just braced her feet up on the dash, chuckling every time they hit a pot hole.

In the daylight, with the sun filtering through the trees, the house didn’t looks so scary, but then, she wasn’t half high this time, nothing more potent than coffee this morning.

As they drew up, she got out and stretched.

“It’s actually kinda nice.” She smiled, looking up at it. “Maybe one day I’ll make a fuck ton of money and buy it… fix her up… make her all pretty again…”

Part of her felt bad for ransacking it the other night, almost as though the sunshine turned the house sentient.

“What..like the notebook?” He chuckled, giving her a look to match the questioning one she gave him. “What? I’ve seen it! Not by choice..”

She frowned then shrugged.

“I dunno… never seen it.” She admitted, shoving her hands in her pockets and looking back up at the house.

There were way too many times she had to say shit like that, and it pissed her off a little.

“It’s a chick flick..don’t know if you’d like it or not, all sappy and lovey and blahhhhh..” He stuck out his tongue, moving over to her and hugged her from behind. “Only did it to get with a girl..” He laughed.

“You do a lot of things to get with girls.” She snorted, turning in his arms and twining her own around his neck. “You ever do anything you wanna do?…. and fucking doesn’t count…”

“Sometimes.” He smiled, leaving it at that. “I wanna do this!” He kissed an bit at her neck, nuzzling into it until she squealed and kicked at him.

Audrey screamed and wriggled in his grasp, finally reduced to just laughing and trying to fend him off, before deciding the only defense was a counter attack.

Squirming half away from him, she shoved her hands up in his arms pits and tickled him.

“Oh fuck no!” He laughed, squishing his arms down hard as he could until he got away and growled at her, taking off running as she started to run away, managing to grab her and wrestle her to the ground, tickling her side mercilessly.

She yelped as he grabbed her, already kicking and wriggling as he started to tickle.

“NO! Nate!!” She tried to roll away but he held her fast, and in the end all she could do was squeal and beg him to stop through her laughter.

Eventually Nate did wait but lay over her in the grass, kissing her cheeks and lips, laughing down at her.

“Not funny…” She pouted breathlessly, flinching when he moved his hand, and laughing in response.

her cheeks felt hot where she’d laughed so hard, and as he smiled down at her, she put her hand to the back of his neck, and slowly drew him down, pressing her mouth to his.

He kissed down at her, slow now, softly, his hands moving to stroke idly at her cheeks.

As he kissed her, pressing down, she relaxed back against the ground, her fingers curled to the front of his shirt, breathing slowly through her nose, sighing softly.

They lay there for awhile, neither of them making any effort to move, just kissing. It wasnt even sexual, just…kissing. Softly, slowly, making every press of their lips meaningful and it was strange to Nate that just kissing like this could stir more things than just his dick.

As their kisses slowed to softer, more spaced out pressed of their lips, she smiled, and she thought she’d probably smiled more in a few weeks with him than she ever had in her life.  

When they just stopped, just breathing over each others lips Nate smiled down at her, kissing up along her nose and sighing. “What is it about you huh?…how can one girl make me feel like this..”

She closed her eyes when he kissed at her nose, opening them again when he spoke, finding herself eye to eye.

“How do I make you feel?” She whispered.

“Happy..for one thing.” He smiled, kissing the corner of her mouth, sighing against her cheek. he didn’t really know how else to describe his feelings. What was he supposed to say? That he loved how she paid attention to him, actually _wanted_ to spend time with him, talked with him, listened..That he’d never had that before, at least not that he remembered.

“You make me feel..good.”

Audrey smiled, pressing into his lips as they rested on her cheek.

She didn’t realize she even had the capacity to make someone happy, not like this. IN the past, her ability to make anyone happy with her was only minutes long and soon forgotten, but he just kept coming back to her, even when he saw the shit, when he saw her angry or mean, or broken, and he just rolled with it…

“I wish it could always be like this.” She murmured against his ear. “Just you and me…. not your parents, not my mom…. just us… happy.”

He laughed and shook his head, pulling back to look down at her. “You high?” He teased, kissing her quick. “I wish that to, but sadly…were just some fucked up kids looking for a way out and were tied back with shackles…”

She didn’t say anything, just put her hands up by her head, closing her eyes against the sun.

She wanted to think it could be true, even though he always pointed out the flaw in her thinking. He was practical, sensible, and she wondered if his Dad sounded like that. Audrey was drawn by impulse, greed… she wanted him, she wanted them together, and if she thought he would, she’d tell him how they could just go, vanish into the middle of the country, then south, the deserts, the back road motels, the long stretches of road.

She’d tell him they’d get by…. they’d get by.

But she wondered sometimes. Was that how Jane started? Young and in love and thinking her devotion for what ever guy she’d hooked up with would be enough.  

Maybe.

But then, maybe it was that sensible streak Nate hid under all his stoner goofiness, that drew her to him in the first place.

As he looked down at her he wondered just what she was thinking about. No doubt her head was constantly full of so much shit she could go blind trying to figure it all out. He was thankful he kept himself at that high point where his mind was calm, peaceful. He didn’t think about the bad things, only made good fro himself, and now her.

“You wanna eat? Or you too far in space…”

“Mm… wanna eat.” She sighed, opening her eyes and looking up at him, smiling for him now. “And then…. I wanna kiss you some more…”

“Then lets get that food inside and chow down with the ghosts.” He grinned, pressing a big kiss to her lips before rolling off her and standing up, brushing the stray dirt and grass off his jeans as he did.

Audrey sat up as he moved off her, hugging her knees a little as he moved towards the car to get the food, smiling at the way he half skipped about, still such a kid really.

Standing up, she brushed herself down, then went to help him, giving his ass a squeeze as she passed him.

“Woah hey!” He laughed, smacking hers when she moved away and glared playfully at her. “You better watch yourself missy..”

“Or what?” She smirked, taking a bag and walking towards the house with it.

Pushing the door open with her foot, she heard the flap of birds flying out through a hole in the roof and grinned up at the ceiling.

“Hooooneeey! I’m home!!” She yelled.

Nate laughed and looked around them. The bottom floor was trashed, nothing but broken glass and wood over the floor. They’d have to go up stairs if you wanted to sit on a less messy floor.

“Right..lets venture up shall we?”

She let him move past her, then followed him up the steps, keeping to the sides to avoid the holes in the middle.

He lead her to a different room, on that was slightly cleaner, the bed was at least made up and the blankets didn’t have mouse shit and holes everywhere on it, just some dust.

“You grab the blanket from the back? we can set it out on the floor or the bed, don’t matter to me.”

She held it up, nodding, then looked over at the bed.

“Lets drag it over by the window.” She smiled, dumping her bag on it and grabbing one end by the wrought iron bedstead.

Once they had everything situated just right Nate started to set out t food, making sue it stayed on the blanket and out of dirt’s way.

Audrey sat, cross legged, at one end, while he sat at the other, the food between them, then sun spilling in through the grimy windows.

She thought about getting up and cleaning a patch, but the patterns the dirt made around them as the light filtered through, were morbidly pretty, so she left it.

“You coming back to school on Monday?” She asked, spearing some pasta salad with the wooden fork it came with.

He nodded, _mm-hmm’_ ing around a mouthful of noodles and deli meat. He was honestly glad for it, he’d done all his homework he was assigned, and was sick of sitting at home basically alone most of the day.

“Yeah.” He cleared his throat and grabbed for his bottle of water, chugging a bit of it. “I’ll be there, pick you up?”

He hoped that when he went, Drake would be decent to him, and her..mostly her. He could handle Drake being a dick to him, but would gladly risk expulsion to set him strait that he doesn’t fuck with Audrey.

“”Hows the food? You want anything else?..got lot more shit in here.: He chuckled and started to dig in the grocery sack for a bag of chips.

“I’m good thanks.” She chuckled, reaching over for water.

He was cute the way he was always trying to feed her… slightly annoying, but cute, like he had this need to help and it was the only practical thing he could do.

If she was honest though, she _was_ eating better since they started seeing each other, maybe everything just seemed a little more worth the effort nowadays.

“Well… I missed you not being at school.” She stated simply. ”No fun smoking by myself under the bleachers.”  

“Yeah? Maybe we should find a different spot, you know..Drake’s coming back too..” Nate shot a worried look to her then quickly wiped it away with a smile. “We can stay clear of him, I know another place we can go. Not as cliche as under the bleachers..but you know..you can still smoke.” He chuckled.

Audrey shrugged.

She wasn’t overly bothered by Drake coming back, so long as Nate didn’t get drawn into another fight, he hardly registered on her radar.

“You got secret spots all over school huh?”

“I do.” He nodded and shoved a chip in his mouth, crunching it up loudly. “There’s a closet That’s never used..a spot behind a dumptser…”

“I’m not hanging around a dumpster.” She pulled a face, leaning over to him to steal a couple of chips from his bag. “Even I got standards Nate.”

“Yeah well…” he shrugged, reaching over to his back pack and fishing out his pack of smokes.

“Did I hurt your feelings?” She laughed, then moved the rest of the food out the way so she could crawl down the bed to him, smiling as she pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

“I’m sorry… I’ll come hang out behind the dumpster with you if you smile…”

“Nah, didn’t hurt my feeling. Gotta have feeling to hurt them.” He chuckled and wrapped an arm around her before lighting his smoke and tossing the lighter aside.

“Shut up…” She huffed, settling next to him with her head on his shoulder, reaching up to steal the cigarette from between his lips. “You got feelings… thta’s your problem… too many feelings…”

She took a drag and handed it back to him, exhaling with a sigh.

Nate made a face then shrugged, taking it back and pressing it between his lips. “So what if I do?”

He sounded irritated, so she moved away, sitting on the edge of the bed and putting her feet up on the windowsill.

Audrey was one to talk, she knew it. She pretended to not care, to shrug things off and regard everyone else with disdain, but the trouble was, when she did let someone in, it took very little to hurt her, even a sharp word.

“So nothing… I didn’t mean anything by it.”  

“I know.” He chuckled and lay down with his head in her lap, knees bent up still as he smoked. “Just sayin”

She glanced down at him, then looked back out the window, moving her hand down to stroke at his hair.

“What are you going to do?” She asked finally. “Not now I mean…. Like… Are you going to college? What do you want to do after?”

He closed his eyes when she started to play in his hair, taking a deep breath before he answered. “I don’t know, maybe..”

He as expected to go to college, some big prestige one out of state. Full ride just for being who he was but he had no idea what he’d go for, had no real ambitions.

“Well… you can’t hang out in your room getting stoned your whole life..” She smiled, leaning down to kiss his forehead, then sitting up again, her fingers still slowly running through his hair.

“You got opportunities Nate… You could do anything you wanted to.”  

“Yeah, we’ll see.” He smiled lightly up at her. “I mean, I really like smoking in my room all day..some of my best ideas come from being stoned.”

She wondered what it would be like to have that much opportunity, yours for the taking, and no desire to do anything with it, safe in the knowledge you wouldn’t end up homeless or flipping burgers or sucking some guy off for twenty.

Imagine that.

She half smiled mirthlessly.

“I think you could do amazing things if you wanted to.”   

“You could too yanno, and don’t tell me that’s bullshit because hit only thing that’s bullshit is you claiming tis bullshit.” He looked up at her and frowned a little. “You could be so fucking good at whatever you wanted to do Aud..”

“Maybe I don’t want to do anything.”

She leaned back on her hands a little, pulling at the bottom of the shirt where his head was on it.

“I don’t have a skill set… or ambition… Seriously Nate, what do you see me doing?” She half laughed, lying back herself, her head tipping back over the other side of the narrow bed so she was looking at the room upside down.

He looked over at her then shrugged. “What do you see me doing?..kind of a double headed coin ain’t it. My dad wants me to go into politics but I think I would rather step in front of a train..”

Audrey laughed, closing her eyes as she rested her hands on her stomach.

“No… You’re too nice for politics, maybe that’ll be your brothers thing…. Nah… I see you doing something artistic… Like, writing or something, or maybe working with  your hands… you got big hands, but they’re not clumsy… they’re creative.”

“I made a bong in ceramics last year..” He chuckled, clocking his eyes again. “Works good. I’m pretty fucking proud of it actually. I painted it blue.”

“You did?” She propped herself up on her elbows to look at him. “How come I haven’t seen it? Can I see it soon?”

“It’s in my closet..” He chuckled, “haven’t actually used it in awhile, but yeah, I guess we could dust it off and clean it out.”

She smiled wide then flopped back again.

“SO maybe you could be an artisan bong maker…” She chuckled. “Expensive bong maker to the rich and stoned.”

He snorted and shook his head. “Yeah, I highly doubt that will be very successful. Maybe I’ll become a chemist..cook meth in a camper. That shit sells…”

“It’s not as lucrative as everyone makes out.” She huffed, raising her head when she felt him shift to look at her. “What? Like I didn’t live in a fucking methlab for a while… seriously Nate… do you even pay attention..” She teased, laughing a little. “Actually… that boyfriend of Janes was pretty cool… he had all the Disney movies on VHS and used to give me snacks…. he wasn’t a meth head though… just weed..”

Nate laughed a little but cut it short. He didn’t realize she actually LIVED it…shit.

“Well long as it wasn’t rock candy I think you were safe..well, safe as you could be living in a math lab…Im gonna shut up now…”

“Nah it’s ok. Was only a couple of months… he used to buy me Oreos and yoohoo. And when he was really stoned he’d come sit and watch the little mermaid with me and sing along to all the songs.” She smiled a little at the thought. “Toooo nice for Jane though… he used to do things like stop her taking too much of whatever she was taking that day… took offense to that…”

She sat up again and realized she was probably making him uncomfortable talking like that.

But what else did she have to talk about?

She didn’t have amusing yet sweet family anecdotes, or stories about camp.. These were her stories, and she had to go through her life remembering that they made other people look at her askance.

“Sorry… Dumb story.”  

“Nah, not dumb.” He chuckled. “Sounds fun actually.”

He didn’t have many stories either. Mostly him and Kyle did things. He was used to it.

“I guess it was…” Audrey shifted so she was lain on her side, her finger running up and down the bridge of Nates nose.

“I feel like I’m on pause… Like I’m waiting for the point where my life starts. Maybe one day I’ll be able to tell stories about a road trip or a vacation at the beach or seeing some city… and there won’t be any awkward silences or nervous laughs.. It’ll just be a nice, normal story..”

“Someday…I wanna take you away..maybe today, maybe tomorrow….probably in a little bit when everything settles down….”

He closed his eyes and sighed.

“When Im 18..Im moving out…gonna get an apartment..you wanna move with me if you can?”

She smiled at him.

“Move in with you? Mm…. ask me again when you got your place.” She teased, not really taking him seriously.

She couldn’t take anything seriously right now, not until all this shit was over.

“Alright..” he chuckled and kissed her head, sighing a little. He was serious, but she seemed reluctant.

“Hey…” She wriggled over to him, putting her hands either side of his head and looking down at him. “I love you…. and I wanna do stuff with you… vacations and… sure… maybe even move in one day…. but I can’t….. “ She paused, trying to find the right words. “I can’t think about anything further away than next week..”

 

“Nah, I get it..” he smiked, kissing her nose. “Was a fleeting thought anyways. Maybe I’ll move away to college and become some president or whatever..”

“God… you’re not gonna turn into one of those gross frat boys are you?” She grimaced, half smiling as she bent to kiss him. “All shots and beer and date rape… ugh…”

Nate’s smile fell, his stomach drop down to his feet.

“No, Im not.” he shook his head and sat up, taking her with him then reached for his pipe. “Probably won’t even go..”

She frowned when he moved her off him, and watched as he grabbed his pipe, not looking at her.

“Did I say something wrong? I mentioned my whole lack or parental guidance thing and fucking up when I open my mouth right?” She smiled, ducking her head to look at him, hoping she really hadn’t said something to upset him.

“Nah baby, you didn’t do it.” He shook his head, taking a big hit off before looking at her again. “Just don’t want to talk about college anymore. Tell me a story..” he smiled then, grabbing her back to his lap.

Audrey laughed, slinging an arm around his neck as he held her close.

“A story huh? What about?…. Want me to tell you about the time this mean, nasty girl met a cute stoner and ended up fucking his brains out?…. Cus that’s my favourite one.” She grinned, pressing her mouth to his as he started to exhale smoke, kissing him softly as it curled in wisps around her lips.   

“Mm..Yeah? Tell me bout him..” Nate chuckled, the rest of his smoke streaming out the corners of his mouth, kissing her hard. “Bet he fucked y’s right…”

“Uh-huh..” She smiled, shifting on his lap so she was sat facing him, turning her kisses soft, teasing against his lower lip. “He fucked me _so_ good…. and he made me come _so_ hard…. I wanna keep him….” She pouted.

Nate put his hands to her back, pulling her closer then looked up at her as she teased his lips with her. “He sounds like a catch..much better than me. I’m a loser yanno..and a piss baby..” He wrinkled his nose. “..booo piss babies..”

“I got a soft spot for loser piss babies… Sometimes they surprise you.” She smiled, tilting her head and kissing him properly, making each movement if her lips harder than the last.

Nate let out a soft, contented sigh, pressing into the kiss more so eventually their tongues tangled and teeth clashed. His one hand went to cradle the back of her head and the other stayed on her hip, slowly massaging along her thigh.

Audrey moaned softly, her arms around his neck, fingers pushing into his hair, she breathed against him, her tongue flicking against his.

She moved her hips against his hand, pressing down on him as his grip tightened on the back of her head, holding her firm to hAudrey turned on easily, much like him, it seemed that when they wanted to avoid a topic, or the conversation ran dry, they turned to sex to fill the silence. It was an observation that any onlookers couldn’t miss.

It suited him fine. He wanted to avoid the topic of school and the future, especially what she mentioned about being a frat guy…he didnt want to think about that night, not at all.

He kissed her harder, his fingers curling into her hair hard.

She matched his kisses with her own, and if their kiss outside had been sweet, almost gentle, kissing only because it felt good, these kisses were only the build up, hot and messy, gasped against.

She pulled back long enough to pull her shirt over her head, pressing her mouth back hard to his, moaning as his hands went to her sides.

Im.

His hands trailed up her back, moving quickly to undo her bra, fumbling a little with it but finally he managed to get it open and pulled back to take it off her.

Once free he duck down and took her breasts, one in each and and his mouth resting over one of her nipples, slowly teasing with his tongue.

Audrey dropped her chin to her chest as her mouth fell open, his tongue making it feel like all her nerve endings were now being played on the tip of his tongue.

Mouthing across, he gave the other that same attention, flicking his tongue out over the nub lightly then pulling it between hi lips to suck gently. She really did have amazing tits, and if she would let him he could kiss and play with them all day long.

The attention he was giving her breasts went straight down her spine in little bursts of pleasure, making her hips rock over him, wanting something to move against.

Nate felt her moving against him, or trying to at least, and moved a hand down between, giving her something to move over, pressing lightly against her jeans as she moved.

She whined against his mouth when he pushed his hand against her, closing her eyes as she lost herself a little, moving between his mouth and hand.

They weren’t good at much, but they could do this, they could give this to each other.

As they grew tighter together and their kisses grew harder, Nate moved her down on the blanket and pushed his hands up into her hair, moving his thigh along her crotch to keep here there.

“Can I fuck you?” He chuckled, feeling silly asking for permission when he already knew that answer. “Here?..on this bed? in this haunted ass house?”

She held him tight as he lay her back, her hips moving up against him as he pressed his thigh to her, and when he asked, his breath hot over her lips, his body on hers, she smiled, biting down on her lower lip as he ran his nose overseas hers.

“You wanna fuck me? With all the ghosts watching?” She whispered, then kissed him hard before pulling back just long enough to smile.

“Let’s give ‘em a good show then…”

Nate laughed and with a playful growl his lips met hers, kissing and biting all with a smile.

He was so happy, not just because he had a horny girl under him either. He was happy to be there, with Audrey, the girl who made him smile, his heart race, his dick swell..all of it, you names it she made him feel it.

He’d never felt this was about any girl before, and it was with a long press of his thigh to her core and a sweep of his tongue over hers that he realized, he really did love her. The thought was still terrifying.

Audrey reached down, grasping  the edge of his shirt and dragging it up his body, her hands moving to his back when he pulled it the rest of the way off, kissing him hard when his mouth found hers again, her fingers stroking firmly along his skin, hands moving to his sides so she could scratch lightly down his ribs as her body rolled up to press to his.

And that first skin on skin contact always thrilled her, his body always felt so much warmer than her own, like every tiny hair, every blood vessel reached out and swelled on contact when her chest pressed tight to his own.

It didn’t matter that they were here, didn’t matter that the blanket under them only just muted the stale dust and warm dog in the sun smell, rising from the bed, because they were here, on the bed, together. It didn’t matter that the sunlight strained to pass through the window, covered in decades of grime and dust, dirt and mold, because the sun filtered through anyway, throwing patterns over their bodies.

Maybe that was the point.

Maybe, because she loved him, none of these things mattered… More than that, they became beautiful.

With every soft touch Audrey gave him, his skin craved more, wanted those touches to come harder, tighter..

He pressed down over her, his hips slotted with her to with the slightest shift they would grind together perfectly. God her lips were perfect, pressing against his just the right way, making him crave more and giving it to him without prompting.

His hands in her hair tightened just a bit pulling her head off to the side so he could kiss and mouth along her jaw and down along her pulse line, keeping his lips soft, teasing out with his tongue so her skin was left wet where he had been.

“You know you’re so beautiful right?” He whispered, placing a wet kiss to her collar bone and taking a deep breath in. “Any boy would be glad to get you..keep you in bed, take you to coffee…” He kissed back up to her lips, this time only placing soft, almost feather light kisses to them, his tongue giving her most of the contact.

The way he did this make her weak.

The sudden turn from hot and heavy, his kisses demanding, body insistent, and then…. It was like he took a breath, slowed everything down, as if reminding himself he didn’t have to hurry, she wasn’t going anywhere and he could take his time.

The slow wet way he kissed and mouthed across her throat, made her sigh, made her chest swell as he ran his tongue across her skin.  

When he spoke, pressing his mouth to hers again, she knew what he was doing, knew he was trying to be nice, to be sweet, and she got the feeling he’d never really had to bother before.

Audrey pulled back a little, breathing softly over his lips, eyes still closed as his nose pressed to hers.

“I don’t want any boy.” She whispered. “I only want you…. just you…”

Licking his lips he smiled, dragging his lip through his teeth before kissing her again, his eyes closing and took a deep breath.

He’d only ever heard that in the heat of the moment. ‘Oh God I want you I want you…I need you now..’

But the way she said it wasn’t like that. She truly WANTED him..the thought made his chest tight.

Her hands pushing up into his hair, she met his kiss, felt the way he seemed to pause, almost like something had just occurred to him, but he was pressing down to her again, with that slow intent way he had that made her push hard up against him, as though she was constantly striving to keep every part of her body touching his, and she breathed in between kisses, that she loved him.

He moved away, kissing down her stomach until he was just mouthing at her hips, fingers working her pants open and pulling them down. He only moved away long enough to slip them and her panties off, setting them aside before moving between her legs and pressing kiss after kiss to her inner thighs.

She moved her legs gently in his hands, squirming against each kiss he planted there, and it felt like he was only thinking about her now, just concentrating on her, the way his mouth moved slowly over her skin, sometimes pausing to mouth at a jumping nerve in her thigh, and her breath came in long shuddery exhalations, her eyes closed against the sun, shutting off her sight so that she could feel his touch more keenly.  

He mouthed down between, pressing the smallest kiss to her clit, tongue moving down and over it after.

Audrey jerked at the contact, gasping softly as he pressed his tongue against her, moving her hands down to find his, drawn around her hips, and laced her fingers with his, pressing up against his mouth.

He squeezed her hands, drawing her closer as he mouthed harder at her drawing his tongue along in slow sweeps.

“God… you’re so good at this…” She whined, pushing her shoulders down into the bed as she arched her back.

Nate didn’t break contact, didn’t make a sound beyond that of his slow, even breaths he took as he kept on. He felt her getting wetter, squirming more as he pleasure rose and it made him warm.

She thought about pulling him up to her, but found she could’t, she was too far gone, her panted breaths coming out as soft cries as he gripped harder at her hips.

At her moans nate pulled and kissed her inner thighs again, his fingers moving to replace his tongue, pressing inside her as his thumb played at her.

“How you wanna come baby….you decide.”

Gasping loud as he pushed his fingers into her, she hitched her breath hard, her thighs shaking against his lips.

“Like that!…… Oh god… don’t stop…” She whimpered, feeling her whole body tighten at his touch.

Nate huffed, nodding and biting at her thigh, sucking and licking out at the hot skin as he continued fingering her, curling then ever so slightly, keeping the steady pressure of his thumb.

Her cries had grown louder, but now, as she started to come, she held her breath, fingers curling hard in the blanket under her, and as she hit the peak, she exhaled hard, drawing in a new breath with a moan.

She sounded perfect, like her whole body was alive and every touch me made sent her into overdrive and as she came and started to coast back down Nate moved his lips back to her, lapping up her slick and sucking gently to her, knowing just how sensitive she was.

She whimpered when he pressed his mouth to her, squirming her hips from side to side, wanting to push into it and pull away at the same time, and finally, pulling at his hand, wanting him back up with her, wanting his lips on hers, and when he moved back up her body, she put her hands to his face and whispered, “Fuck me… please..”  

Licking his lips Nate nodded, kissing her hard now, intently, hastily. His hands worked at his pants, shoving them down and kicking out of them, then his hand was on himself, stroking himself hard, not that it took too much at this point.

He moved down over her, settling between her legs, resting just outside of her, thrusting against her.

As he moved back over her, she thrust her hands into his hair, kissing him hard, moving her hips up against his, moaning as he ran himself over her.

He ran one hand down her side and hip, lifting her up on him and in one swift movement he moved in, seating himself slowly, groaning as he did, the feel of her hot and wet over his bare cock driving his gut to twist tight. “..fuck..”

As he started to move she found herself crying out, soft moans and gasps, still so sensitive that now, all she could do was hold him tight, try to kiss him and fail as her lips only quivered against his, so she just pressed her mouth to his, breathing with him.

He hooked his arm round her back, arching her back as he moved in deep, quickly setting himself up a good steady pace.

She whined his name against his lips, and god,, she felt like she might come again, it felt like she was building up fast, or maybe hardly even stopped, she couldn’t tell, only that her hips moved up to his hard, her fingers tightened in his hair as she gasped shrilly.

He moaned and groaned, thrusting in harder, faster until he felt like that was it, curtain closed, good night and had to slow down, moving only as much as she needed to keep her there.

She could hardly stand it, her whole body aching with tight pressure, and as he slowed, she pushed him off her, following so she was sat up, over his hips, hardly breaking rhythm as she rocked her hips hard, the new position already pushing her closer.

He held on tight to her back, thrusting up as much as he could, putting a hand back behind him to help keep himself stable while she moved.

Her hands on his chest, head bowed between her shoulders, her mouth fell open as she realized she really was coming again, faster, harder than before, she cried out loud, forcing herself to keep moving for him, even though her thighs shook and her cries tapered to shaky moans.

He felt her clench tight around him and groaned as he started to come, not being able to hold back anymore and as he did he he pushed them back to the bed, driving into her harder, moaning against her cheek with his arms around her head.

She panted, half whimpering as he slowed, her arms hard around his shoulders as he crushed her too him.

Her whole body felt weak, like she’d just fallen in a heap on the floor after running, her hair line tacky with sweat.

Nate breathed finally after what felt like hours of holding it then groaned into an exhausted laugh, pulling from her and laying down on her again. “Fuck….”

It seemed to take forever to come down, and finally, as her breathing slowed to almost normal, she suddenly realized what felt odd.

“Nate…. You wore a rubber… right?”

“Uh..” he chuckled, opening his eyes. “..no?….”

Shit, he didn’t even think about it, he was too caught up in everything, too turned on to stop.

“You’re kidding?”

But she knew he wasn’t, and taking a deep breath, she put her hands to her face, taking a moment before looking at him again.

“I’m not on anything… “

“Ah..man..” he groaned, dropping his face to the blanket, a million things running through his head. “..well….it’ll be fine, Im sure…” he hoped at Least.

“Yeah… probably.”

_Jesus fucking christ Audrey how could you be so fucking stupid!_

“Don’t worry about it.” She said quietly.

Nate could see the panic in her expressing and sighed, moving off her. “Baby…Im sorry Ok? It all just happened so fast..”

“No…. It’s ok… I shouldn’t have presumed. It’s not your fault.”

She’d had a flash of panic in her chest when she realized, now she just felt dumb resignation.

What the fuck ever. Wasn’t that how her life should be anyway? Wasn’t this just all part of some higher plan for her?

She noticed him watching her, and gave him a smile. “Really… what are the chances, right?”

Nate sat up on his elbow and frowned, watching her then smiled back when she did.

“I’ve more than likely smoke myself impotent….if that makes you feel better..when was your last thing?”

“You didn’t _feel_ impotent…” She half laughed, trying to make light of it. “And _thing_? What are you? 12?”

She did laugh then, kissing him softly when he frowned, but not answering him. She honestly didn’t know. She wasn’t regular, sometimes she skipped 2 months. They’d taken her to the Doctor, and he’d just told them it wasn’t unusual, given her over all history, lack of proper health care and nutrition in her early years, then looked down his nose and told her to put some weight on.

“Probably can’t even have kids anyway.”

Audrey didn’t want to talk about it anymore, instead, she curled up with him, pressing her face against his side with a sigh, trying to forget it, trying to put herself back in the mindset she’d been in only a few minutes ago.

“I have a mind to make you buy your own burger.” She smiled, pressing a kiss to his ribs.  

“Ha. Ok,I can do that.” He chuckled, moving his hand along her back.

He fucked up, and he knew it..Why she was still laying with him was beyond him..

Fuck, it was the last thing they needed was a fucking baby

At some stage she dozed off, opening her eyes to find herself facing the window, Nate wrapped around her, his arms tight around her middle so she was pulled back to his chest.

* * *

 

The light had changed, and now it slipped through as warm as amber, deepening as she watched.

“Nate…” She whispered, still watching the window, sighing when she felt him stir behind her, his mouth pressing to the nape of her neck. “Nate… we should go..”

“Mm..Why…” he mumbled, breathing in deeply as he mouthed down her shoulder.

“Because…. I have a curfew and your Dad’s coming home…. if we go soon, we can get you some dinner still.”

She turned in his arms and snuggled up to him, kissing his mouth gently.

 

“Shit…” he sighed, closing his eyes again and barely pressing into her kisses. “Ok…not too concerned about me eating, you Gotta eat though..”

“Why do I gotta eat?” She laughed. “I’m not hungry…. you though… you can’t go longer than like 2 hours without feeding, and I promised you dinner… I wanna honor it.”

As they dressed he kept watching her, making sure she was actually Ok and not just saying that she was.

He hoped like hell she wasn’t gonna get pregnant. They didn’t need that. Not one bit.

Audrey could see him watching out the corner of her eye.

She didn’t know what he wanted from her, what he thought she could say or do.. She didn’t have the power to make it go away. Whats done is done, and she was fairly sure they’d get away with it, and if not? Well… maybe that was a situation where him having money was useful… At least she wouldn;t have to scrape money together for some back street abortion.

“C’mon… I think I could manage a milkshake.” She smiled.

“Me to.” He smiled, pulling her into a hug and just holding her for a minute, breathing against her neck.

She let her arms creep around him as he half bent over her, his breath hot on her neck, and she found herself stroking his hair, soothing him.

_He’s just a kid._

It was a dumb thought to have, he was older than her by a couple of months, but yeah, she sometimes felt like a 30 year old in a 17 year olds body, and as she held him gently, she knew he felt scared, he felt uncertain, and she was the calm one, then one who could deal with it.. would have to deal with it.

* * *

 

The drive felt long, but it was nice, quiet. They held hands all the way to the drive thru only breaking away to swing in.

“Right, what you want baby?”

“Strawberry shake.” She said, then rolled her eyes when he gave her a look. “Fine… Fries as well…. I’m paying though.” She reminded him when they got to the intercom to order.

He rolled his eyes then turned out the window, answering the person when she asked what they wanted.

“Uh, Yeah I neeeed…a strawberry shake, and fries…three cheeseburgers…and a chocolate shake.”

“You’re gonna eat three cheese burgers?” She laughed, undoing her seat belt as they reached the window and leaning over Nate before he could protest, handing over the money and taking her change before moving back so he could grab their order.

“No..” he leant back so she could pay then looked at her. “You’re eating one. Im eating two.”

“Stealthy..” She chuckled, taking a long sip of her shake as he found somewhere to park..

Parking he separated the food and handed her the Burger and fries. “Eat, or no sex for a week.” He warned, smirking.

“You’re a mean mom…” She pouted, taking them off him though, picking apart the burger bun as he bit into the first of his.

She really wasn’t hungry.

Outwardly she looked fine, but inside, her stomach was churning, she made a show of tearing bits off the bun though, eating a little, but mostly playing with it, sipping the shake slowly in between.

She wasnt eating, and it made him a little mad. Maybe she was just stubborn, or maybe she really wasnt hungry, he didn’t know anymore. He was sure it had to do with him not wearing a condom, and he was honestly pissed at himself.

Any other girl..he wouldn’t have cared. But her…God he couldn’t stop caring about what he did with her.

“No good or what?” He asked, making light of it all.

“No… It’s good.” She smiled, taking a bite while he watched, but god, she wanted to throw up at the knot that twisted in her stomach.

“Just not so hungry… I mean, we ate lots back at the house, right?”

Taking a deep breath, she looked over at him.

“Guess you’ll be busy with your Dad tomorrow huh?”

He didn’t answer right away, then nodded, looking back down to his food. “yeah, probably, ill text you though..”

He knew what she was thinking, he was thinking the same. They fucked up.

“Finish up, gotta get you back soon.” He nodded towards her.

She nodded, going to take another bite and failing, just holding the burger against her lips a moment before giving in and shoving it and the untouched fries back in the bag.

“I can’t.” She sighed, and then, when he started to protest, Audrey simply shook her head and burst into tears.

“whats wrong?” Nate frowned, tossing his own half eaten food in the bag and reaching across to take her face in his hands. “You don’t gotta eat if you don’t want..was just trying to..I don’t know..fuck Audrey, I know I fucked up ok?”

He sighed, pressing his head to hers as she cried. “I fucked up and I’m sorry..I’ll give you some money, you can go down to the clinic and get that after pill or whatever..no worries..”

But it wasn’t just that.

This was only the crack in the dam that spider webbed away to join all the others and breach it.

Because just when she thought she’d found a little stability, a little normality, life took delight in kicking her feet from under her.

She had a prelim meeting next week, then the hearing the week after, and Nate was going to be busy with his Dad, and now this. She really wasn’t that worried, not really, but it was just one more thing, and she felt bowed under the weight of it all.   

“…ok. Ok…” He sighed, not sure what to do. He wanted her to stay the night with him again, to let him take care of her, but they both knew that that wasnt an option. Not tonight.

“Baby..we gotta get you back, ok?” He sighed after glancing at the clock. “Baby..”

Audrey nodded, cuffing quickly at her eyes and trying to still her shaky breathing as Nate moved away, starting the car and pulling out of the lot.

She spent the drive calming down, so that by the time they arrived, she looked almost impassive.

He sat and looked across at her once they were parked, she was looking out the window at the street and he never felt more helpless.

“Audrey..” He said softly, taking her hand across the car. “Baby..I want you to go get that pill, ok?..I’ll pay for it and everything, then you wont have that on your mind, you’ll be safe..No little stoner babies running around..” He tried to joke, his laugh falling short when she looked at him.

It felt like he washing his hands of her.

She’d cried and he drove her home, Seemingly not able to cope with her upset. Now he wanted to make sure she took the morning after pill, like he could give her some money and push her out the door, like it was all getting a little too complicated for him.

“I’ll sort it…. I’ll tell Silvia… It’s probably covered.” She glanced across the street to the house.

“I should go…. “ She said, reaching in the back for her jacket.

“Yeah…right.” he sighed, disappointed really. She was dismissing his help, again, and it was really starting to suck. “I’ll text you, if you want that is…” he caught her hand before she could get out and smiled at her. “Love you…”

She looked down at her hand, then up at him as he smiled at her, hopefully it seemed.

“I love you too.” She whispered.

And she did, only, she could see it all starting to unravel.

“I gotta go.” She bit down on her lip, not wanting to cry again, and pulled away from him, shutting the door and crossing the street to go inside.

He watched her go with an aching chest. All he could think was _I fucked up._ He knew she had a lot of shit going on..knew she was more important, but he couldn’t help but be hurt that she would just dismiss it. like it was nothing.

It wasn’t nothing. It was a big something…No matter now..she said she’d get the pill, so there wouldn’t be anything to worry about in that respect.

Pulling away from the curb he took a deep breath then went to light a cigarette..wishing like hell his dad wasnt home when he got back so he could just sit in his room and smoke.

* * *

 

She was glad Silvia was still there, and she went into the office with her and just outright told her she needed to see a dr in the morning and what for.

The fact that she didn’t get angry, only looked at her with a kind of tired resignation, hurt a lot, enforcing the view that even someone like Silvia saw her as a statistic, another bad mom waiting to happen.

Her room mates were arguing again, screeching at each other about a missing phone, so without a word, she grabbed her bedding and hauled it into the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

She felt small, out of control, and she felt safe in here, the door locked secure, the sides of the tub rising up around her, even the slightly mildewy smell all bathrooms had, was comforting.

And as she started to cry again, she pulled the cover up over her head, and for a little while, shut out the world.

Nate went home, and though it was past dinner time his dad still wasn’t there. Kyle was in his room, listening to music, jacking off, whatever he did..he didn’t care and Nate went right for his own.

He set up his bong and set to it, hoping that he could dull his thoughts long enough to make it through the next week.


	17. Video Ghosts

On Sunday night, when Audrey hadn’t heard a thing from him, she sent him a text.

_ “ You mad at me?” _

But got nothing back.

Maybe he didn’t get it, or maybe he’d been with his dad or something, or maybe he just didn’t want to talk to her, either way, on Monday morning, she didn’t bother waiting for him, he hadn’t said he’d pick her up, so she went straight to the bus stop instead. 

* * *

 

“Hey bby.

srry I hvent had time 2 text..

dad’s up my ass Bout colleges and shit

yelling at me for being a loser..

you kno…

assumin u took the bus..

c u @ school?”

* * *

 

But she didn’t see him at school.

She saw Drake, twice in the halls, but never ran into Nate, and at lunchtime, Silvia took her out to the Dr’s office to get a check up.

So thoughtful.

The state paid for her morning after pill, but the condition was she got a full screening, so she got to spend her afternoon being prodded by a gyno and having bloods drawn, before being dropped back at school for last period.

* * *

 

“can I drive you home?” Nate messaged later.

It felt like she was avoiding him today, he walked by her locker and her classes but didn’t see her at all.

“Im srry…for Saturday..”

* * *

 

“ OK. See you outside”.

Audrey had skipped last period, hiding in the bathroom, smoking.

She felt unreal, disjointed, as though she was watching herself, rather than being herself, and she hadn’t felt like that for a long time.

She was just stressed, that was all, anyone would be.

Flicking ash in the sink, she looked at her reflection, dark smudges under her eyes where she hadn’t been sleeping again.

He said he was sorry.

She didn’t know what he was sorry for.

Not using a rubber? for her getting upset? For not being able to comfort her, when a hug would have done, he’d panicked and taken her home… for ignoring her all weekend?

This was maybe the only time she’d really needed him, and just a text would have been something.

He couldn’t handle this.

SHE could barely handle this.

Audrey stubbed out her cigarette and as the bell rang, she headed out to the parking lot.

* * *

 

Nate was leant against his car, cigarette dangling between his lips, almost smoked down to the filter as he looked down at his phone, texting her again.

“u headin out?”

 

_ “ Already there.” _

She raised her hand as she walked down the steps and saw him.

“Hey.” She said, stopping in front of him, smiling a little.

“Hey.” He smiled back, hugging her right away. He wasn’t in his usual attire. He was wearing nice jeans, polo shirt with his hair neat and organized. He hated it.

“Missed you this weekend..had a truly amazing time with my dad..” he sighed.

“Looks like it.” She said.

If he hadn’t been stood by the car, she might have walked past him.

It was just another thing, a small change… just a little more of an obvious gap between them.

“You said you’d text…” She hadn’t meant to say it, but there it was, not said angrily, just, tiredly.

 

His smile dropped and he nodded. “Yeah..I know, I tried..” he gave a half hearted smile. “Im an ass…I'm sorry..” he hugged her again, hoping like hell she wouldn’t pull away.

“You got some time after school to hang out?”

She wondered how he could think he could say that, that he couldn’t have found 30 seconds in 48 hours to send her a text, but she didn’t say anything, only nodded when he asked her to hang out, then got in the car.    

 

He didn’t have a good excuse, not really. She could go on about what him and his dad talked about, but she wouldn’t give a shit either way.

“So..missed you at lunch…” he looked across.

“I had a Doctors appointment.” She said flatly, looking straight ahead. “Can you pull over?”

Audrey waited until he was stopped, then turned in her seat.

“What’s going on?”

“What do you mean?” He frowned at her. He assumed her appointment was to take care of whatever night have happened from Saturday, but he wouldn't mention it again.

 

She stared at him a moment, then shook her head.

“What I mean is… you went from 100- 0 really fucking quickly Nate…. you went from practically living in my pocket to radio silence…. What am I supposed to think? I get upset and you can’t wait to get me home… just… can’t wait to get me out your car!”

She looked at him with hurt in her eyes, then looked away, pressing her lips together.

“I just wanna know where I stand…”

 

His jaw dropped a little as she yelled at him. No matter what he says he’d be wrong. Its woman logic.

“Audrey…you’re my girl. I love you…” he stated. “I'm not sure what I could have done for you…I suck at words and I figured you just wanted to be alone…sorry I fucked it all up....like Always..” he mumbled off to the side, fishing out another smoke.

 

She watched him light a cigarette, not offering her one, and she struggled to hold her emotion in check.

“I needed  you” She said quietly. “…. I know you were busy… I know your Dad was back… but I needed you.” 

He took a draw back on the smoke then closed his eyes, letting his head rest on his hand. “Yeah..I fucking know..Ok?” He sighed, handing the smoke over, he really didn’t need another, it was the last of his second pack this weekend.

 

Audrey looked down at the cigarette he’d pressed into her fingers, then opened the window to flick ash outside before taking a drag.

The filter was slightly moist from his lips, and it was strangely intimate, maybe more so because they were upset, almost fighting. 

“I spent the whole weekend thinking that was it…. Like, you lit a fucking fuse then panicked and threw it and ran….”

 

“You honestly think I’d fucking do that to you?” Nate half laughed, shaking his head. “You were upset..it was my fault…I handled it poorly. Duly fucking noted!”

The weekend had stressed him out, him having to hid his paraphernalia away in his closet, no outlet. He could have texted her, didn’t know Why he hadn’t.

“I was fucking scared too yanno…”

 

Her eye’s widened as he spoke, then she laughed harshly, and it sounded shrill, almost hysterical to her ears.

“You were scared too? Oh….. Oh, I’m  _ sorry  _ Nate…. I should have realized just how scary the prospect of digging in your account for a few hundred bucks to sort out a potential problem was… Oh! Or maybe you were scared I’d be pregnant and keep the damn thing, try and get a regular cheque from you in exchange for not telling everyone the Governor's son knocked up some shitty piece of white trash!…… Fuck!”

She reached in the back to grab her pack, dragging it between them.

“I can’t do this…. I can’t fucking do this right now…” She pushed the car door open, scrambling out and slamming it behind her. 

 

“Wow.” 

Nate’s jaw dropped. Never had he ever had to deal with  _ this  _ shit before. He didn’t know how to, and now it was here, she was pissed at him for god knew what, not texting her? Jesus Christ. 

When she slammed to door he blinked, then instantly his own anger overcame his reason and he too got out of the car. 

“Yea, I  _ was _ scared Audrey! Not because of the money, fuck! I don’t care about my god damned money!! You…you seem to be obsessed with it however..you can't stop talking about it, how I’m just wanting to throw money at you to make you happy!” 

That’s always what i came down to, his money.  

“For the record?! If you were to have gotten pregnant and kept it?…I would have loved to have been in its life, to be its DAD! Send you a fucking check…that’s all you want from me…” He trailed off, turning around and digging his hand in his hair. “I offered to take care of the pill because I know you really don’t want a fucking kid..with me or anyone..not now at least. You have all this other shit going on, and you don’t want my help with that either..so..what do you want from me Audrey? Because I’m at a loss…” 

 

Audrey stopped when he followed her, slinging her pack down hard enough that it skittered across the sidewalk.

She watched him grow angrier and angrier as he yelled at her, and she almost couldn’t take it, not from him, felt her head grow light and her body hot as her heart hammered behind her ribs, and as she clenched her fists, she had no idea if she’d end up hitting him or just running from him.

“I don’t know!” She screamed. “I don’t know what I want… I just want you to stop yelling at me!”  

 

He stopped, and laughed, putting his hands on his face, taking a deep breath before his hands fell to his sides in and  _ i dont know  _ manner. 

“Really….you want me to stop yelling? Why - so you can keep yelling at  **me** ? Seem’s awful one sided doesn’t it..” He laughed wearily then, looking to her, seeing her upset and small against his car, he sighed. 

He went to her, putting his hands on her shoulders then ran them down to her clenched fists, working them open so he could lace their fingers. “Baby…I’m sorry..” 

She let her held breath out in a rush as he touched her, was surprised when her fingers relaxed and parted for him, and when he apologized, she could only look down at their hands, shaking her head slowly.

“They’re gonna take me away…. I’m gonna have to go back, and they’ll make me see that jerk off Doctor who evaluated me… and he’s got it all sewn up Nate… And I just know, if I don’t cooperate, if I don’t toe their line… He could get me put back in hospital. I could end up on a psych ward again…. and I can’t do that. I can’t cope with that… not again…” 

 

With a sigh Nate dropped one of her hands and tipped her chin up so she would look at him. He was in way over his head with her, he knew that..but he wanted it to work, wanted to think that they could be good for each other..

Were they though? Probably not..both toxic..volatile - broken. 

“Baby…” He sighed, and not knowing what else to say just hugged her, closing his eyes. 

 

Screwing her eyes shut, feeling them burn with tears she refused to shed, Audrey put her arms around his neck and held him tight as he hugged her.

She felt her heart calm till all that was left from the adrenalin that had rushed through her body, was a slight trembling in her fingers, in her mouth.

“I’m sorry…” She whispered at last, pressing her face to his neck. “I’m sorry Nate… I’m sorry… I’m so sorry..”

 

He didn’t know what she had to be sorry for - her shitty life? She couldn’t help that…wasn't her fault her mom was trash, that no matter what the system would put her through the fucking grinder until there was nothing left…

He knew no matter what…there was nothing he could do. Not a damn thing. Money can't fix it, his words were just as worthless. What good was he? 

She could feel his uncertainty, even in the way he held her, he didn’t have a clue what to do, and it just made her sadder, because, she needed someone to hold her properly, to just say crap to her and try and make her feel better, but he couldn’t do those things, he wasn’t her parent, he was no better than her at these kinds of things.

Pulling back slowly, she wiped at her face, sighing softly.

“Maybe I should just go.”   

 

She always wanted to leave when it got tough, he noticed that about her. He’d never understand it, what would leaving solve. It was avoidance..and you couldn’t avoid your problems forever. 

“Says who?…You?” He asked, frowning down at her. “Come on Aud, I’m trying..I am..but it isn’t good enough..is it..” 

“I know you are… and it  _ is _ good enough…  You’re good enough…”

She leaned against the the car and looked at him.

“I don’t know what to do.” She said simply. “I love you… but you’re starting to realize this is the shit end of the stick… I don’t wanna make you unhappy…”

She knew what she  _ wanted  _ to do.

She wanted to crawl into bed with him and fall asleep in his arms. She wanted to wake up with his lips on her neck and his arms tight around her, she wanted the feeling of safety and comfort and just pure love she felt when they did that, and right when she needed it most, when they both needed it, they couldn’t. 

 

Nate swallowed and shook his head. He  _ wasn't.  _ they both knew it. 

“I was unhappy before I met you…now, I am. I mean, this shit with your mom sucks, but I still want to be with you, and I still want to help, but fuck..i don’t know how to…I’m just a stupid rich kid..” 

“Well… Your new look certainly makes you fit the part.” She half smiled to show she was joking as he glanced down at his clothes.

“Could you…. I mean… could you just hold me?… It helps… A little.”

“I have to look nice..apparently, if someone sees me on the street I need to look like a sophisticated kid…” He tried to defend himself then just laughed and shook his head. “I look like a fucking idiot..” 

He smiled and nodded at her, taking her in his arms and just holding her. That’s what she wanted, he could do that, he only hoped it could be enough. 

She leaned into him, pressing her face to his shoulder with a sigh, holding him tight.

“And what if someone see’s you on the street with me?” She asked quietly. “I don’t make you look sophisticated.” 

“Then I’ll tell them to fuck off.” He said flatly. “The world is wrong..telling people who they should be with..“

“I wanna be with you.” She said softly, sighing against his neck. “I wanna be with you all the time..”

“I want that too..” He hugged her tighter, closing his eyes. “I want that so much but….we cant, not yet..” 

 

He hadn’t been kidding about getting an apartment when he turned 18. He wanted out, and he wanted her out with him..they could be normal, together. 

Audrey nodded gently. “I know… I know…” 

She tilted her head back to look at him, then pressed her hand to the back of his neck, drawing him down to kiss her, just softly, sweetly.

 

He hoped they were ok now, that this fight was just something stupid out of stress..only time would tell he guessed. 

Between their soft kisses he told her he loved her, that everything would be ok. He couldn’t promise that things would work out for her in court, he couldn’t promise her that she wouldn’t have to go live with her mom…he couldn’t guarantee her any of that, though he wished he could. 

It was all she wanted though, just for him to tell her it would be alright, even if he knew it probably wouldn’t be, to tell her he loved her, to hold her, kiss her.

She didn’t expect him to fix anything, how could he? She just wanted to feel that there was at least one person out there rooting for her. 

 

They’d moved back into the car, the back seat this time and just lay there together. It wasn't incredibly comfortable, but it didn’t really matter. He wanted to be there for her, he didn’t want to fuck it all up again..not again. 

They’d hooked their legs around each others, and she half lay on him, pulled tight to his chest, his fingers stroking her hair as she closed her eyes, breathing slowly against him.

Nothing was going to be better than this for a while, so she took it, the chance of a little contact, just holding each other for a while, and pretending it would all work out fine.

* * *

  
  


A couple weeks passed, Nate’s father was gone again and for the time being everything was back to normal. 

Nate and Audrey hung out all the time, school was going fine, he and Drake had only talked a couple of times..nothing too special. 

Now he sat with Audrey under the bleachers, sharing a cigarette and laughing about something dumb, he’d look back and try to remember what it was, but he never would. 

They sat cross legged in front of each other, knees touching as they passed the smoke back and forth to each other, neither of them talking about tomorrow, about the fact that this time tomorrow it would all be over, and they could either carry on, or she’d be gone by the morning.

She didn’t want to talk about it, it felt better to ignore it. 

“I gotta leave after lunch today..” Nate sighed, looking across at her. “Dad’s talking at one of the colleges and he wants me there. Something about how important it is for today’s youth to get the most out of their education or some shit..I tuned out.” 

“Gotta do what you gotta do.” She shrugged. “I’ll be done by lunch tomorrow… so… I’ll text you. You can pick it up whenever.”

In an ideal world she wanted him right there, sat next to her, holding her hand, but the world wasn’t ideal, then, nothing was right now.

 

“Wish I could go with..” Nate took her hand between them, slowly moving his thumb over hers. “I’d skip school, and go in…but it's a closed court..no randoms allowed. I better not go to jail…” He chuckled a little, hoping to lighten it up a little. 

“I know…. but… It’ll be fine…” She pressed her lips together and nodded to herself. “I’m sure it’ll be fine… all I gotta do is talk about how settled I am in school and how well Dr Banks said I’m doing… SIlvia said they probably won’t be able to move me without a specific reason, not now…” 

Nate smiled across at her reassuringly. “You’ll do great. I know you will. You know  _ how  _ I know?” He asked, smiling coyly. “Cus you’re my girl..that's how.” 

She smiled wide at that, then leaned forwards on her knees to kiss him, trying not to make it feel like it could be the last.

* * *

 

Drake sat up on the bleachers, watching them walk hand in hand back to Nate's car. 

It wasn’t anywhere near as private as they thought it was under there, but that was fine by him, made an already interesting game just a little easier.

When he saw Nate’s car pull away, driving off down the street, he climbed down, jogging over to Audrey, who turned in surprise when he called her name.

“Hey! I just wanted to wish you luck for tomorrow.”

“What?”

“The hearing…. yeah… Nate told me about it, sounds rough.” He smiled sympathetically at her.

Audrey was kind of shocked that Nate had told Drake anything, but she just shrugged and gripped her pack a little tighter.

“Uh… yeah… thanks.”

He smiled wider, then hesitated, like he wanted to say something, but instead, shook his head, as if changing his mind.

“Ok, well… good luck again.”

As he walked away, Audrey frowned after him, then sighed, pulling her bag up on her shoulder and heading back inside for last period.

 

* * *

 

Nate was stood next to his dad as he stood up in the auditorium full of kids, parent, staff..seemed like everyone and their dog had come, whatever. 

He smiled, answered questions just like he was told to then was silent the rest of the time. Maybe if he did this he could maybe earn something from his dad, more than just a thanks for making face, here's 10k. 

That was love right there. 

Kyle was there too, only, he looked the part, he actually  _ wanted  _ to be there, to get all their dads praise. He did too. When they’d finished up their dad smiled and waved at the crowd then ushered them back. 

“Excellent job Kyle..” He’d put his hand on his brother's shoulder, telling him how great his answers were, leaving Nate stood off to the side, hands shoved in his pocket. “And Nathaniel..” he turned and Nate looked up, smiling a little. “Don’t you know how to stand up straight?..” 

His mouth dropped open slightly, hardly able to answer. “..Of course I do..” 

“Then next time…do it.”

He blinked, nodding a little and the smile he held was forced, resentful. “Sorry..” e nodded then moved away, claiming he needed to use the restroom so he could text Audrey.  

_ “thinking bout u _

_ id say wish u were here but here sux ass so.. _

_ wish I was there lol _

_ dont ave long but wante to txt u and say hi _

_ so, hi <3” _

 

* * *

 

Audrey was sat outside the courthouse, smoking.

Silvia had said she’d call her when it was time to go in, but she couldn’t sit inside, the air was too thick, too oppressive.

She took up her phone and looked at her messages, smiling at the one from Nate and sending a quick one back.

“ Going in soon. Love you too. <3”

Then she frowned seeing a number she didn’t recognise.

Tapping on it she saw a video attachment, and was about to delete it, when she saw the text under.

“ Thought you should know about Nate.”

A soft voice in the back of her head told her to just delete it, that no good could come from opening something like that, but she stubbed out her cigarette and put her back to the wall so no one could see, then hit play.

 

The shaky cam made it hard to work out what was happening at first, and then it focused on a girl, laid out on a bed, clearly wasted, clearly upset, she had her arms over her face and Audrey could just make out her muffled sobs, the soft  _ no’s _ .

Louder though were the two guys talking, laughing, and then the camera pulled back a little to show someone having sex with her.

No… It wasn’t someone… It was Nate.

She put her hand to her mouth as she watched him completely ignoring  the girl begging him to stop, he was just laughing, bending over her a little she heard him say,  _ it’s ok sweetheart, we won’t tell… no one's gonna know what you did… just us.. ok? _ Like he was doing her some huge favour, and god she felt sick, she wanted to throw her phone across the street and forget she ever saw it.      

_ Jesus Christ are you nearly done? Gonna lose my fucking hard on if you don’t hurry up. _

That was Drake, she’d know that voice anywhere.

_ Are you fucking videoing me? Fuck off man! _

The picture blurred then, and she heard them laugh, then end of the video abruptly cutting them off.

“Audrey…”

She looked up to see Silvia stood in the doorway.

“It’s time.”

* * *

 

Nate had to go off as soon as he was out of the restroom but felt his phone go off a little after he’d left it. Probably just Audrey replying. He wanted to look, but he was already being drug back out for the next batch of people he had to stand and stare at. It would only take about an hour or so, then they were heading back and he could go see how it went in court. See how she was doing. 

He watched the video with wide eyes, hardly believing it, Drake said he deleted it, no traces it ever happened…the poor girl didn’t even remember…

He was sick, Drake sent it to Audrey…Audrey no doubt opened it…she knew about it now, about who he was and he was furious. 

That night was a mistake. One giant mistake that was never supposed to happen like that, never like that….

Nate was ripped from his thoughts by Kyle yelling at him. “Nate! were leaving…get your head out of your ass and lets go..” 

“I….” He shook his head, looking back to his phone then nodded, stuffing it away in his pocket, unable to deal with it right now. He was hours away from home, from her..from Drake. 

He only had to sit in the car for a few hours…then, he would deal with Drake. 

* * *

 

“Miss Irvine….”

Audrey blinked up stupidly as the lawyer said her name for the third time.

It was going so bad…. So bad.

She couldn’t think, couldn’t concentrate, she fluffed her way through every question and now wasn’t answering them at all.

At one stage, she glanced over to see Janes lawyer smile at her mother, put a reassuring hand on her shoulder _. We got this _ , he mouthed, and she knew it was over, everything was over.

“A final decision will be made by tomorrow, if everyone can return here tomorrow afternoon… uh… three forty five…” The family judge said, looking over the rim of his glasses at her.

_ It’s over. _

* * *

 

She got Silvia to drop her back at school, claiming she had homework to pick up, but as she drove off, Audrey headed off up the street, pulling out her phone and texting the number that had sent her the video.

_ “This is Drake right?” _

 

He was sat in the living room when he phone went off, and smiled when he saw who it was.

_ “Sure is. Like the movie?” _

 

_ “I’m coming to yours, you owe me.” _

 

He sat up with a frown.

_ “Don’t owe you a thing. I did you a damn favor” _

_. _

_ “Don’t fuck me about. I need money, you got money. Can we make a deal?” _

 

He smiled then, laughing softly as he typed his answer.

_ “ How much you need?” _

 

_ “Couple hundred.” _

 

_ “I can do that.” _

* * *

 

It wasn’t like it was the first time she’d done this, and right now, she felt as numb as she would have if she was stoned out of her head, and as she went to her knees, undoing drakes pants, she focused on the end game.

A bus ticket, some motel money, just enough to get her the hell out of here.

Drake moaned as she took him in her mouth, grabbing his phone and aiming it at the mirror on the other side of his room.

Biting down on his lip, he sent the picture to Nate.

_ “ Told you she was a skank, can see why you kept her though.” _

Then tossed it to one side as he took hold of a fistful of her hair.  

* * *

 

This wasn't happening. None of it. He was wasted, had to be. This was just a fucked up dream. It  **had** to be…

He stared at the picture Drake sent, Audrey on her knees, Drakes pants at his ankles..the smug smile he had that was just barely hidden behind his phone.

_ Dead. _ He was dead. 

As soon as the car was parked in the drive Nate go out and went for his car, completely ignoring his father's protests until there was a hand on his shoulder, wrenching him back. 

“Where do you think you’re going?!” 

“Wherever the fuck I want!” Nate yelled, slapping his dad’s hand off him. “You don’t give a shit about me anyways! Why do you care! Why’d you even bring me along to that stupid fucking rally huh?! You’d just have me stay home if it didn’t mean you’d look bad..” He sniffed, letting his emotions run the show now. “You can both just…fuck off!” He waved a hand angrily then got in his car and peeled out of the drive way.

 

“FUCK!” He yelled at the steering wheel, tossing his phone to the passenger side after a 7th failed attempt to reach Audrey. He was on his way to Drakes, but he doubted she’d be there, but if she was…and she was in bed with him….that would be it, the end. 

Drakes car was in the drive when he pulled up and it took everything in him not to run right into it.

 

“Get the fuck down here Drake!” He yelled, throwing the door closed and moving towards the big staircase, taking 3-4 steps at a time to get to him faster. 

Drake heard him bellowing his name, and swung his legs off the bed, getting lazily to his feet, not wanting to be on his back when Nate came in.

Christ he was trashed.

He sniffed hard at the tickle up his nose, and picked up his Dads shotgun, holding it one handed and raised so that Nate would see it when he came in.

“She’s not here.” He laughed when he threw the door open. “Left like…. an hour ago… two maybe…. Shame you couldn’t join us though…”  

Nate only stopped when he noticed the gun then looked up at Drake, wide eyed. “What…you gonna shoot me? Huh?” He laughed shakily, hardly believing that this was what it came to.. 

“Fucking shoot me then…shit, Drake..how fucking trashed are you right now..It’s fucking Wednesday!” He laughed again, eyeing the gun as Drakes hand curled tighter around it. 

His anger was only subsided by the fear that Drake actually would point it at him, might even pull the trigger..who knew. 

“How much?” he asked, keeping the waver in his voice to himself. He looked from the gun to Drake, trying to meet his unsteady gaze. “How much you pay her…” 

 

“We settled on two fifty….. and… she’s not _ bad. _ ..” He laughed, squinting a little as he turned, swinging the shot gun round with him. “Kinda skinny…. but moves? Hoo!” 

He sat hard on the bed and laughed at Nates expression. 

“But she’s gone now… you missed her….. sorry bud..”

He reached into his drawer and pulled out a baggie, casually drawing up a couple of lines as if Nate wasn’t even there.

“Funny..” Nate swallowed, sniffing hard as tears welled up in his eyes. “..didn’t bother sending any pictures of you fuckin’ her..” He half laughed, looking away so Drake wouldn’t see the hurt in his eyes. Not that Drake could see much of anytime right now as it were. 

He looked back and licked the tears off his lips then ran his hand over his eyes. “You gonna draw me one?..” he nodded to the piles Drake was neatly cutting. 

Drake chuckled, shaking his head.

“Didn’t wanna ruin the mood, besides… I needed both hands… I hate it when they look away, right? So fucking rude, so… needed one hand just.. up here…” He put his own hand up to his jaw, gripping tight to demonstrate. “She got the idea…” 

When Nate asked for coke, Drake looked up,smiling wide.

“Of course…. Sit down… I’ll sort you a line man…”

 

Nate smiled though his teeth ground together as he did. He forced himself to move, keeping his eye on Drake then looked down to the gun sat on the bed, forgotten about for the time being. 

“Yeah..” He laughed, making it sound convincing. “..had that same issue..” He nodded but he didn’t sit down. He left himself vulnerable if he did, and he was already compromised. “Two fifty though?…seems a small amount..”

Drake shrugged.

“All I had on me…. I offered her coke, but she wanted cash… Offered her more if she stayed longer… She really does have an exceptional mouth right?” He laughed, and it was just two old friends together as far as he was concerned, chatting and laughing about nothing of any great importance. 

“But no… lil’ girl got places to be…. last we’ll see of her I expect…you gotta try this man, it’s fucking great shit…”

 

very word that came out of Drakes mouth made him cringe, his every muscle tight with rage and he swore - one more crack about how great she was and he’d knock his teeth out. 

He wasn't really going to take the coke, but honestly, he needed it now..

He moved over to the neat lines Drake had drawn then bent over and snorted on, sniffing hard after and running his fingers under his nose to rid himself of the rest. It had been a long time since he’d actually done it, after that night with the girl…he’d sworn it off, cut it cold turkey so when he felt the effects hit him almost instantly he laughed, but it was bitter. 

“Yeah…s’pretty good..” He nodded, sniffing some more and clearing his throat. “She say where she was going?” 

Drake didn’t answer straight away. He took two lines, whining as he furrowed his brow, his wrist rubbing at his nose as he sniffed hard.

“Dunno… Bus station… Didn’t say where. Didn’t ask.” Drake looked up hopefully. “Hey! Wanna drive out see if we can bring her back?” 

 

Nate blinked once, clearing his vision. Had he actually suggested going after her…

“What use do you have with her?” He scoffed, shaking his head and inching towards Drake more, his fingers twitching,  _ itching  _ to hit him. “You wanna make another movie Drake? Maybe I could video it this time..or..or…” He laughed wryly. “..maybe I could fuck’er while she’d blowin’ ya..you like those ideas?” 

He was too out of it to notice the dangerous edge to Nates voice, only nodded enthusiastically.

“Sure… Sure, another video… fuck man…. I mean, I tried to get her to take a little blow and she refused… Bet you could convince her to though. Yeah…. Jesus…. Can you imagine what we could get her to do if she was wasted? Now, she ain’t one of those dumb fucks that struts around like a fucking porn star then it turns out they never did anymore than get finger fucked by their boyfriend in junior high..”

He laughed like that was the funniest thing he ever heard.

“Nah man… she was like… pro. You know what kids in care are like, shit, this was NOT the first time she fucked for money…. Christ, little girl practically screams daddy issues!” 

 

The corner of Nate’s mouth twitched up in a smile, and a hoarse laugh fell out, matching the way Drakes went manic then there it was, the thing he needed to hear to nudge him over that stopping point. 

While Drake laughed still, Nate looked quickly to the gun then grabbed it, standing back and pointing it right at Drake’s head. 

“Shut up!” He screamed, getting right up close so he could see his reflection in Drakes eyes as they blew impossibly wider. “You can just fuckin’..shut..up..right now…” He breathed out, shaking so hard he couldn’t keep the barrel of the gun still. 

“Whoa!!! Fuck!…… Nate…. just…. Fucking chill….”

Drake pushed himself back away from the gun, scrambling up the bed.

“Fucking point that thing somewhere else…. What the fuck!” 

“ _ What the fuck?!”  _ Nate laughed, following Drake with it, his finger twitching over the trigger as he started to cry. “You ruined it!..All of it!..You fuckin’ took her from me..you chased her away!” 

He wasn't sure if Drake was home alone, he guess yes because if anyone  _ was  _ there they surely would have come running by now. 

“Why’d you do it… _ why!”  _ He sobbed, rubbing his cheek with his shoulder, keeping the gun held up. “You said..you said you got rid of it…you said we’d pretend it didn’t happen Drake!”

 

He couldn’t even remember why… Just that it seemed funny…. it seemed like something funny to do, something he could laugh about.

“It’s just a girl……. Just a fucking girl Nate….” He whispered, his hands held out in front of him as if he could physically stop it if Nate pulled the trigger.

“Just a girl…. just a girl… I don’t get it Nate… It’s funny…. “ He pleaded, half laughing himself now, the coke making everything seem slightly absurd.    

 

“Audrey isnt  _ just a girl _ ..Drake..” He breathed, trying to keep himself still, trying to hold the gun up but finding it getting heavier and heavier as the coke started to set in more. “She was  _ my  _ girl….she was mine…” 

He frowned down the barrel, his vision blurred with tears again and as he sniffed he closed them. “She was everything to me….and you took her away from me…” He opened his eyes, looking Drake dead in his own glazed over ones. “…now..” He laughed shakily, sniffing again. “..Now I’m going to take everything away from you..” 

He shifted the gun up against his shoulder and aimed the gun at Drakes head again, finger shaking over the trigger.

“Fuck Nate!” Drake closed his eyes, shaking hard as he put the gun to his head.

“Jesus fucking christ!! I don’t wanna die… I don’t wanna die! I got half a kilo of fucking Colombian I haven’t even tried yet!….. Just…. take what  the fuck you want…. just take anything… take my fucking car! I don’t care but don’t kill me… “

Tears leaked out from behind his lids, and he dropped his voice to a shaky whisper. “Don’t kill me….. don;t kill me Nate… pleased don’t kill  me…”

 

Nate listened to Drake as he whined and begged and were he sober, were he  _ actually  _ sorry..he might have lowered the gun, but no..he had a fucking gun to his head and all he could care about was his fucking drugs….

He looked down at his friend, looked at how pathetic he was and shook his head. “You can’ give me what I want..you took it, but you can’t give it back Drake…” 

Re-situating the gun Nate took a deep breath, holding it as still as he could then sniffed, closing his eyes as he pulled the trigger. 

He cried out as he heard the click, his eyes opening wide when he realized he wasn’t dead.

He’d fucking pissed himself though, wet warmth spreading across the front of his jeans, he started laughing, the hysterical edge almost a screech.

“Wasn’t fucking loaded….. Fuck ME! Oh Fuck me…… Jesus fucking Christ… You were going to kill me!”

 

When Drake started talking Nate opened his eyes and dropped the gun. But..he’d heard the blast, maybe it was just the thought, the anticipation of the sound that made him hear it. 

“..it wasnt….” He breathed, frowning down at the gun as it hung in his hand. “..It wasnt loaded?…” 

He sounded almost disappointing, like he actually  _ wanted  _ Drake dead, wanted to see his brains paint the walls of his shit green room. 

He let the gun fall to the floor in a clatter then backed away, looking at Drake now who lay there laughing. He didn’t find it very funny..not one bit. 

“We’re done..Drake….I don’t want anything to do with you..” He shook his head, now painfully aware that he had just attempted to kill his best friend. He could call the police, bring him in for attempted murder, he’d get tried as an adult..he was old enough..

No. 

It was the coke…he was just being paranoid. Besides..if Drake called anyone, Nate would just tell them to search the house. Help them find that half kilo..then Drake wouldn’t be in much better circumstances. 

“We’re done…” He breathed again, then shook his head and turned out of the room, walking down the stairs quickly, almost falling when he got to the bottom but he had to go..he had to get out of here, he needed to find Audrey.

* * *

 

The inside of the bus station was warm at least. She’d swiped one of Drakes jackets on the way out, though the smell of him that rose off it every time she moved made her want to gag, for now it would have to do.

Audrey ran her finger down the free map that came with the time table and flicked over to check prices.

She was heading West, not 100% sure were yet, but it didn’t matter. She had enough money to get her two thirds of the way and have money left over for a few nights in a motel. Hopefully she could raise some funds… wait tables maybe.

She pushed the obvious answer to the back of her mind.

No, she wasn’t going to do that.

After leaving Drakes she’d spent 5 minutes throwing up in his hedge, she didn;t want to have to get used to that.

She settled on her bus and went tot eh ticket desk, buying her tickets form the sad eye’d old man behind the desk, who looked like he’d seen enough runaways to last a lifetime, and now, instead of telling them to go home, just watched them with watery eyes and a down turned mouth.

Grabbing a Styrofoam cup of bitter coffee, she went outside to wait for her bus, her school pack at her feet, just the clothes on her back. 

* * *

 

Nate sat outside the house Audrey had been staying at and after a heated argument with the person he assumed was Silvia he resigned to the fact that she wasn't there.

He’d called her he didn’t know how many more times, but each time it went right to her voicemail. 

He’d left her enough to tell her he was sorry, that he needed to talk to her, but he was sure all she could hear was the manic way his voice cracked and the disgusting desperation in it as well. 

He drove out to the haunted house, not sober enough to go home though he probably should have been driving either, he was pretty sure he hit a bird or something on his way there..

Stumbling up the stairs he went to the bedroom they’d had they picnic in and crawled up onto the bed, curling his knees to his chest and sending her a text message before putting his hands to his face and started to bawl. 

_ “baby..please let me xplain..please dnt run..plse…I love you. “ _

He lost her. He lost his best friend. He yelled at his dad, his brother. He had nothing..and never in his life had he felt so alone. 

* * *

 

It wasn’t until the bus had fully left the city, and was cruising down the highway, that she finally listened to her voicemail.

There were three from Silvia telling her to come back, that they could work things out and help her stay, one from her social worker, who just sounded bored, hurried, like she’d already washed her hands of her, then Nate.

She lost count of how many he’d sent, when she started to cry, listening to the way he pleaded, begged her to call him, tried to explain, told her how much coke he used to do, how fucked he was, how he wasn’t the same person anymore, and by the time she got to the last message, she could hardly make out what he was saying.

She read the text, the last thing he’d sent her, and when she could focus again, she sent one back.

_ “ I thought you were different. But you were just the same as all of them. _

_ I loved you more than anything. _

_ Don’t call. I won’t be on this number anymore.” _

 

She waited a few minutes after it sent to make sure it went through, then took the back off the phone, pulling out the sim and breaking it in two, opening the little window above her seat and throwing the phone out.

It was done.

She had vanished.   

* * *

 

Nate hadn’t gotten her return texts until the next morning when the sun started through the broken window and went straight into his eyes, jerking him awake. 

His head felt like it was full of rocks, and his mouth dry, his eyes red and pained and it wasn't until he sat up and looked around that he remembered everything that went on the night before. 

He  _ had  _ tried to call, and got nothing. 23 times he tried…he counted..all the same:  _ The number you have dialed is no longer in service, please hang up, and try again _ . 

He had a very pissed off voice mail from his dad, telling him that if he didn’t get his ass home and explain himself he was going to call the police on him. There were several texts from Kyle asking him where he was, letting him know Dad was pissed, that he’d changed the door code.

He didn’t fucking care anymore. Not about going home, about school, himself…he just didn’t fucking care. 

He did eventually go home, and after having his dad tear into him he resigned. His dad wanted him to go to college, he’d go, He’d do whatever, he just didn’t want to think about her.

* * *

 

Audrey opened her eyes when the sun rose over the flat farmland that spread out before her, her head bumping lightly against the bus window as she watched the sun start to rise on the horizon.

Her mouth was gummy with sleep, but she didn’t want to reach down into her pack for her water, didn’t want to sit up yet, because then it would really be over. She’d really be awake, and alone.

She’d be hurt and afraid and there was simply no way she could go back. 

And she wished she hated him.

She wished she could hate him.

 

**END OF PART 1**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I really hope you enjoyed this, even though it isn't fandom related.  
> There are two more parts to this particular story, but seeing as it's a monumental pain in my ass reformatting and moving it all over here, I'm gonna need some encouragement to do so!  
> So if you've enjoyed reading and want to read the next part, please leave a comment and some love and I'll get right on it ♥


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